Boundaries
by eorocks
Summary: The boundaries between Elliot and Olivia will be tested when a friend from Olivia's past shows up.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Here's a new story I've started. I really appreciate all the support from all the readers of my stories, and I hope you like this one too. Please bear with me as the story unfolds…anyone who knows me knows that I'm all EO/Bensler. Let me know your thoughts so far after you read this chapter!

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was sitting at his desk, sorting through his phone messages, when he saw a woman walk into the squad room. She paused just inside the doorway, scanning the room, as if she was looking for someone. Elliot glanced over at Fin and Munch, but they were deep in discussion, and didn't notice the woman standing there. He sighed. It had been a long night, which had now morphed into a long day and he and Olivia had just wrapped up a case. Another couple of hours of paperwork and he could head home to bed. He wasn't up to dealing with another assault victim…even though he knew he absolutely would.

These thoughts ran through his head in just a few seconds as she continued to scan the room, her eyes resting on various people in the room for a few seconds before moving on. He realized that her demeanor wasn't one of a typical assault victim…not that there was anything typical. Still, he had dealt with enough victims over his years that he had a feeling she wasn't here to report a crime.

She was tall, and lithe. Long legs and narrow hips…the body of a model. She had long blonde hair that fell in loose waves around her shoulders, and fair skin. She was well dressed…very stylish. He might even call her beautiful…and he was certain many men had told her she was.

He saw her eyes land on him, and she smiled when she saw he was looking at her. The woman took a few steps in his direction and Elliot stood up. "Excuse me. Can you help me?" she asked. Her voice was breathy and light…but filled with energy. Like she was about to tell you something really exciting.

Elliot nodded. "Sure." He held out his hand. "I'm Detective Stabler. What can I help you with?"

The woman moved the phone and keys she had been holding in her right hand to her left, and took his hand. Elliot saw green eyes staring back at home, fringed by long blonde lashes, and he saw a smattering of light freckles across her nose. Her smile lit up her face and he couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Amy Maddox." She said, and then slipped her hand from his. "I'm looking for Olivia Benson. The man at the desk downstairs said I could find her here, but I'm not sure I'm in the right place."

Elliot cocked his head slightly. "You're in the right place. But Olivia's not here right now." It was a small lie. Technically, Olivia _was_ here. She was just upstairs, grabbing a shower after a long couple of days. She had told Elliot she need a shower and coffee if she was going to have any hope of lasting a few more hours. He wanted to spare her from any more distractions until he heard what this woman had to say. "But I'm her partner. I can help you."

The woman he now knew was Amy Maddox smirked and lifted on perfectly manicured brow at him. " _You're_ her partner?"

The move reminded him of Olivia so much that he was startled, and he almost missed the innuendo in her voice…the emphasis on the word _you're_. Like she knew something about him. _Who was this woman?_

"I am." Elliot said, his curiosity peaked now. "So, tell me how I can help you."

"I'm a friend of Olivia's. I had a last-minute trip to the city and I thought I'd surprise her!"

Elliot was the one that was surprised. Olivia didn't have a lot of girlfriends, at least not any that she talked about. She hung out with Casey occasionally, and Alex before her. Melinda every great once in a while. But mostly, she worked…or they did work related things. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember Olivia _ever_ mention a night out with the girls. It made him wonder about where she went after work. Was she home by herself? Or did she have an entirely separate social life he knew nothing about? Either way, he felt bad…mostly because as well as he knew her, he realized he had never asked her. Never wondered what she didn't when she wasn't with him. Some friend he was.

"So, will she be back soon?" Amy asked.

Elliot realized he had left too long a pause after her initial question, which is why she had pressed on. "Umm." Now he was in a bind because he had lied to her, but he still wasn't ready to tell her that Olivia was here. He still didn't know this woman was who she said she was. "I'm sure she'll be back shortly." He motioned to a chair next to his desk. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable and I'll see if I can get a hold of her."

"Well, I can call her. I just wanted it to be a surprise." Amy said, pulling up her phone.

"I'll just see where she's at." Elliot said quickly. "If she's coming back, then you can still surprise her." One thing he knew about Olivia was that she did _not_ like surprises. As soon as Amy was settled, he was going up to the cribs to tell Olivia about her visitor. Let her decide if it was someone she wanted to see.

He couldn't explain why he was feeling like something was off about this woman. People had friends…people surprised each other all the time. Amy seemed to know Olivia's number, and seemed to know something about him being her partner. All things a friend would know. It just still seemed strange to him that he had never heard a word about this woman in seven years. Even a casual comment from Olivia. All the nights cramped in the car during stake-outs…they covered a lot of ground in times like that.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee?" he asked.

Amy shook her head. "No, I'm good. Thanks."

Munch and Fin both got up from their desks and they walked over and introduced themselves.

"So, you're a friend of Olivia's huh?" Munch asked.

Amy smiled and nodded. "Yes, we go way back."

At that moment, Cragen came out of his office. "Munch. Fin. Aren't you supposed to be revisiting the sister of the victim on the Carson case?"

"We're on it Cap'n." Fin said. "Duty calls. Nice to meet you." He said to Amy.

Munch said much the same and they left together.

"You work with those guys too?" Amy asked. "They seem nice."

Elliot wanted to laugh. She was making that assumption based on two seconds of conversation. She must not have seen the way Munch was looking at her…as if maybe he had found wife #5. He supposed she was used to it. Definitely a glass half full kind of person. Or more likely, the glass was full the whole damn time.

He found himself wondering what she did…if she was in fact, a model. Nothing in her life had worn her down, or caused her to be cynical of the world and all the people in it.

Elliot smiled and chose not to respond to her comment. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back."

She nodded and smiled, and Elliot saw her pull out her phone and start scrolling through it. He headed towards the cribs, wondering if Olivia was done with her shower. Elliot walked into the cribs, but paused inside the door. "Liv?" He needed to give her fair warning that he was there. "You decent?"

"Yeah." She called back, and Elliot walked around the cots over towards the lockers. He stopped short as he saw her standing there in her jeans and a tank top, brushing her hair back as she turned towards him. "What's up?"

Elliot kept his eyes trained on hers, but he thanked God for peripheral vision. If Olivia ever thought he was checking her out, she would kill him. He didn't have an explanation for it…or for any of the more base thoughts that had been running through his mind in the past six months. She was his _partner_ for Chrissakes. And his friend.

"El?" Olivia asked, dropping her arms. "What is it?" She had noticed the strange look on his face, and worried he had bad news. "What happened?"

Elliot pushed those thoughts from his head as he watched her pull a dark blue sweater from her locker. "Nothing happened. You have a visitor." He leaned against the top bunk as she pulled the sweater over her head.

"A visitor?" She furrowed her brow as she pulled the sweater down over her stomach, and sat down on the bench. "Who is it?" She slipped her foot into her boot and zipped it up, and then did the other.

"Said she was a friend of yours." He watched as Olivia stood up. "Amy Maddox."

Olivia turned to him, a look of genuine surprise on her face. "Did you say Amy Maddox?"

"Yeah. You know her?" Elliot was trying not to pry, but he was intensely interested in the mysterious blonde downstairs and her connection to Olivia.

"Yeah, I know her." Olivia said, nodding her head. "She was my college roommate."

That was a new piece of information and Elliot pondered that for a second. "Oh. Well, I don't think I've ever heard you mention her."

Olivia looked back at Elliot. She thought she heard a little bit of annoyance in his voice…very masked…but still there. "Yeah, well, why would it come up?" She wanted to roll her eyes. Did he honestly think he knew absolutely everything about her? She and Elliot were close, but there were still a lot they didn't know about each other. "I didn't know I had to submit a list of all friends and contacts to you." She knew she was being a bit of a bitch, but she was tired and cranky.

"I didn't mean it like that." Elliot said, trying to keep his tone neutral. "I just meant…well, I told her you weren't here because I didn't know who she was and if you'd be happy to see her or not." He stood up. "And I didn't know if she was who she said she was."

Olivia almost wanted to laugh. The job had made them both paranoid. She relaxed slightly. In his own way, he was just watching out for her and she couldn't fault him for that, even when he did go overboard. "So, she left?"

"No. She's still downstairs."

"You left her down there with Fin and Munch?" Olivia groaned. She slammed her locked shut and turned back towards him. "Knowing those two, they're pumped her for information and know more about my college days than I remember." She started towards him in a rush, but Elliot put his hands up and she stopped a few feet from him.

"It's fine. They met her but Cragen sent them out to re-interview witnesses." Elliot laughed. "Good thing because I think Munch already fell in love."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't surprise me. She has that effect on people. Well…men."

"I can see that." Elliot said, smirking at her.

Olivia arched her brow at him and put her hands on her hips. "You too?" She dropped her hands from her waist and then raised on hand and tried to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Well, I guess I can't blame you. She is drop dead gorgeous. Most men can't take their eyes off her."

Elliot cocked his head and looked at her. "I'm not most men Liv." He found it almost comical that Olivia, one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, was commenting on the looks her friend got. He knew she heard the comments men made about her…and that there must have been plenty of men that told her she was stunning. Maybe the difference was that she didn't believe it.

Olivia looked at Elliot and the dopey expression he had on his face. She wasn't sure what he meant by that comment, but she wanted to point out his affinity for blondes, as evidenced by his wife. Well, ex-wife. She let it drop instead.

"Well, watch yourself around her. She can be trouble." Olivia smiled, as some memories from their college days surfaced.

"She's trouble?" Elliot asked, concern in his voice.

Olivia waved her hand. "Nah. Not really. There's always just a lot of drama in her life. But I think that's what made us a good match. We had a lot of fun."

Elliot couldn't even begin to imagine the two of them together. Such seemingly polar opposites, if Olivia's description was accurate. But both young and beautiful…living it up in college. Those were stories he wanted to hear.

"So when's the last time you saw her or heard from her?"

Olivia blew air out through pursed lips, trying to recall. "I haven't seen her in at least 5 years, maybe longer."

Elliot realized that was probably why he hadn't heard about her. Five to six years ago was fairly early in their partnership. He was busy with young kids and got home as quickly as he could. They weren't as close then.

"I talked to her about a year ago. She was having problems with an ex-boyfriend and wanted some advice."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Advice as a friend? Or as a police officer?"

"Both." She remembered the conversation well. Amy's ex-boyfriend was supposedly bothering her. Amy called is stalking. Olivia could never be sure about Amy's information, as she was prone to exaggeration, but she always erred on the side of caution. "I told her to file a restraining order against him." She hadn't heard from her since, and now that she thought about it, she felt kind of bad that she hadn't followed up.

"And? What happened?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know." She brushed past Elliot as she headed to the door. "But I'm sure I'll hear all about it." She and Amy had been good friends, but Amy was always the one that was full of life…vibrant. While Olivia kept a lot of details about her life to herself, especially the story of her childhood, Amy felt everyone needed to know everything about her. But Olivia couldn't fault her. She was a good friend. She could keep a secret…she was one of the few people that knew the circumstances of Olivia's conception and birth…and she could be relied on for just about anything. You didn't have to ask her twice. She was fiercely loyal as a friend. Now that she thought about it, Olivia felt badly that she hadn't done more to invest in their friendship and keep it going, despite the geographical distance between them.

She walked briskly into the squad room and saw Amy standing by Elliot's desk, talking to Cragen.

"Amy!' She said, and Amy turned to face her.

Amy smiled broadly as she dumped her things on Elliot's desk. She rushed over to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her, and Olivia slid her hands around her friend's waist and returned the hug.

"Oh my God!" Amy gushed. "It's so good to see you!"

Amy didn't release her, and Olivia almost laughed as Amy tightened her hold on her. "I was so disappointed when your partner told me you weren't here!"

Olivia saw Elliot walk into the squad room with a smirk on his face. "I was just taking a break." She said, taking a half step back as Amy finally released her. "What are you doing here?" she asked. Then she realized that probably sounded harsh. "I mean, it's good to see you. I'm just surprised."

Amy smiled. "I know. I had to make a quick trip to New York to see a new client and I was going to call you. But I didn't know if I would have any free time. But my meeting wrapped up, and since it's Thursday, I decided to stay for an extra day or two. So here I am."

Amy worked for a Public Relations firm, which was the perfect job for her. She had settled in Boston, despite having grown up in Manhattan like Olivia. Olivia knew that Amy liked it in Boston, but missed the energy of the city.

"We have so much to catch up on. Can we go out for drinks? And then maybe catch some dinner?"

"Did I hear the word drinks?"

Olivia looked up and saw Munch walking back into the squad room, with Fin right behind him. She glanced over at Elliot. Weren't they supposed to be out talking to a witness or something?

"I could use a drink." Munch said.

"You weren't invited." Olivia pointed out. She turned back to Amy. "I have some work I need to finish up. I can't leave right now." She was actually disappointed. She didn't have many girlfriends, and was happy that Amy was there. But she did have work to do…and she was exhausted. She felt like she hadn't slept in days.

"Liv, I can take care of it." Elliot chimed in.

Amy glanced over at Elliot. "That's so sweet."

Olivia shook her head. "You don't have to do that El."

Elliot walked over to Olivia's desk and opened her drawer. He pulled out her purse and handed it to her. "You've covered for me a million times. School conferences, concerts, whatever. I owe you."

Olivia took her purse from him. "You don't owe me."

Elliot wiggled his eyebrows. "OK, so you'll owe me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Go. Have fun."

"So…we're not going for drinks?" Munch asked, and Fin told him to shut up.

"I'd love to get to know your friends Olivia." Amy said. She turned towards Elliot. "We're going to get drinks, but why don't you guys meet us a little later and we'll be all caught up by then."

Before Elliot could step in, Munch had already accepted for all of them. Elliot didn't want to barge in on their time together and he looked at Olivia with a question in his eyes. Fortunately, she knew him well enough to know what he was asking.

"It's fine." She said. "I'll text you and let you know where we end up." Olivia snagged her gun and badge from the drawer and Amy's eyes got wide as Olivia held them in her hands.

"Are you bringing those along?" she asked.

"I'm always on duty Ame." Olivia said. "Let's go."

Olivia and Amy walked out of the squad room and there were three sets of eyes watching them as they left. When they were out of earshot, Munch spoke up.

"That right there is what we call a dream come true." He said. "Two beautiful woman…exact opposites in almost every way. Something for everyone."

Elliot glowered at him. "Shut up. That's Olivia you're talking about."

Munch shook his head. "Exactly. I don't think it's escaped your attention that your partner is a knockout." He laughed. "Anyone want to take bets on how many times they get hit on at the bar?"

"Shut up." Fin and Elliot said simultaneously.

"I'm just saying." Munch said, shrugging his shoulders. "I bet they were trouble." Before Fin or Elliot could say anything else, he turned his chair and dug into the paperwork on his desk.

Elliot grabbed the folders off Olivia's desk and walked back around to his. He sat down and opened up the files, sighing over the task at hand. He didn't mind helping Olivia out…not at all. He hadn't been joking when he said he owed her. He did…probably a million times over. But he was distracted by Munch's comments.

His thoughts ran back to those he'd had earlier…wondering about Olivia's life before she walked into SVU. There were important things he knew about her. She was smart, curious, empathetic and fearless. He trusted her with his life, and neither could deny they had a special connection. But he knew nothing of her life that had led her to this point. Nothing of the experiences that had shaped her into the person she was today. He realized he was looking forward to getting to know Amy a little…to see Olivia interact with a friend. It might let him see another side of her that up to now, he hadn't been privy too. He dug into the paperwork with renewed energy, anxious to get it done and get out of there.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia didn't want to hang out at the bar close to the precinct. She knew too many people there, and didn't want to get interrupted as she and Amy talked. She chose a small bar that she and Elliot had been to before. They had good food and a fun atmosphere, and she knew Amy would like it.

They slid into a booth and it didn't take more than a minute before the waiter was there to take their drink order.

"I like this place." Amy said and Olivia smiled.

"So, tell me what's going on with you." Olivia said, sitting back against the leather back of the booth. She hated talking about herself, borne from the days when she was young. Her home life was a topic she actively avoided talking about.

Amy let out a big sigh and leaned back too. "Work is great. I absolutely LOVE my new boss. He's been a great supporter of mine, and he gave me a couple of new accounts to work with. Big accounts." Their drinks had arrived and she took a sip of her dirty martini. "One of them is here in New York."

"You're not sleeping with him, are you?"

"Olivia!" Amy acted shocked, but Olivia knew she had had a brief affair with her previous boss. It wasn't that she slept around just to get promoted. Amy was just more of a free spirit…and she liked sex…a lot. She didn't always make the best choices on who she slept with.

"I did not sleep with him. I have a boyfriend." Amy took another sip. "Well, had a boyfriend." Amy launched into the tale of her latest boyfriend, a lawyer she'd met at a party. They had lasted six months, and it sounded like it hadn't ended well. "He was always flirting…"

Olivia stifled a laugh.

"What?" Amy asked, and then she broke into a laugh herself. "I know. I'm a bit of a flirt myself."

"That's an understatement." Olivia said. It was always amazing to watch Amy and her relationships. She was a lot of fun, and had this large personality. Men tried to get her attention all the time, and she loved to flirt. If you were dating Amy, you had two choices…live with it or break up. Most of them chose to live with it, because it was always harmless. Amy wasn't a cheater. And yet, she couldn't bear for any of her boyfriends to do the same. "You're such a hypocrite." She said.

Amy laughed. Olivia was the only one that could tell her things like that and get away with it. But she knew it was true. "It wasn't going to work anyway. But it was fun while it lasted." Amy leaned forward towards Olivia. "Speaking of fun…you having any?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nothing serious."

Amy leaned back. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm not in a relationship." Olivia didn't want to get into her love life. There had been lots of dates over the years…some casual hook-ups after a date or two. Nothing worth pursuing. Either she wasn't interested or they didn't like what she did for work or she was at work all the time. "My job isn't really conducive to a long-term relationship."

"What about that partner of yours? He's pretty sexy." Amy had a mischievous smile on her face as she said it.

"Elliot is off limits." Olivia said firmly. She had told Amy about Elliot when they had talked last year, but only in response to questions about her job and if she liked her partner.

"To you…or to me?" Amy asked and Olivia saw the sly look on her friend's face.

"Both." Olivia said. She knew Amy well enough to know she was just fishing more information, and that she didn't have to worry about Amy going after a friend of hers. But she didn't know her as well as she used to, so it didn't hurt to make it clear.

Amy laughed again. "You're sure there's nothing going on? That was a pretty vehement response."

"Just drop it Ame." Olivia took a drink of her beer. The subject of her and Elliot's relationship was long and complicated. At this point, she didn't even know how to characterize what they were to each other. Partners and friends for sure. But something had been building between them…she just didn't know what it was…how to define it.

"Yeah." Amy said, leaning back in her seat with a satisfied smile on her face. "I'll drop it." She took a sip of her drink. "For now."

Olivia rolled her eyes, determined to change the subject. "You're the worst." She teased. She had to admit that she was enjoying herself. Most of her life was consumed by work, and the few times she did go out, it was for drinks with the squad or to the gym with Casey. It was nice to have someone not related to SVU to talk to. "So, what else is going on in your life? Ever talk to Jamie or Chloe?" They were two other girls that she and Amy had hung around with much of the time, but she had completely lost track of them after a few years on the force.

Amy proceeded to update Olivia on the two women mentioned, and then several others they had been acquainted with. It was obvious that Amy had done a much better job keeping up with everyone, and when Amy suggested a weekend away…and a reunion with some of their old friends, Olivia had to admit it sounded like fun.

They talked and laughed and reminisced about the past, and before she knew it, a few hours had passed. Both women were feeling the effects of the beer, and they agreed to order some food. Another round of drinks had been delivered when Olivia's phone vibrated on the table.

She snatched it up, but Amy had heard the alert.

"Is that Elliot?" she asked.

Olivia debated about lying, but then nodded. She wasn't sure how she felt about the guys joining them. She was having fun with Amy, and didn't need them to pervade every part of her life.

"Did you tell them where we are? Are they going to meet us?" Amy asked.

Olivia shrugged. "I'm kind of having fun…just the two of us."

"Whatever you want." Amy said non-commitally. "I just thought it would be good to get to know your friends a little."

"They're not my friends. I work with them."

Amy laughed. "OK. Whatever you say."

Olivia's phone vibrated in her hand and she didn't have to look at the Caller ID to know it was Elliot. She also knew that she had to answer it or Elliot would just keep calling. She hit the button to connect the call and looked over at Amy. Amy was checking her own messages, ostensibly not listening to Olivia's conversation.

"Liv." She heard Elliot's voice on the other end as she suspected.

"Hey."

"You having fun?" Elliot could tell she'd been drinking. She wasn't slurring her words, but her voice was lighter somehow.

"We are." Olivia said. "We had lots of ground to cover."

"So, do you want some company or not? Because Munch is driving me crazy here, asking if I'd heard from you."

Olivia smiled. She appreciated the fact that Eliot understood that she might not want all of them hanging out with her and Amy, but she had to admit there was a part of her that wanted him to join them. She looked up at Amy, who was still pretending not to listen. "It's OK El. It would be fun to have you guys join us. But on one condition."

Elliot chuckled. "What's that?"

"Amy is off limits to my friends. So, make sure Munch knows that." She made a point of mentioning Munch's name, since she knew he could be a flirt, even though there was nothing behind it. But she hoped Elliot knew she was talking about him as well, although she'd never tell him that outright.

Elliot smiled into the phone. _Message received_. He wanted to tell Olivia that he had absolutely no interest in Amy…that there was only one woman that he was interested in. "Got it Liv."

"I'll text you the address." Olivia looked up and saw a smug look on Amy's face. She hung up the phone and sent him the name and address of the bar. When she set her phone down, she saw Amy had as well.

"So…" Amy said. "Is now the time to talk some more about Elliot?"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews and the interest in the story! Quite a few people seem to be worried about Amy. We'll get to know her a little bit more in this chapter. And then we will see how the story unravels.

EOEOEOEO

" _So…" Amy said. "Is now the time to talk some more about Elliot?"_

"No, it's not time to talk about Elliot." That was a topic she needed to avoid. In her state of exhaustion, the couple of drinks she had were likely to make her reveal things she didn't want to reveal.

Olivia watched Amy shrug her shoulders and take another sip of her martini. She had a small smile on her face, as if she knew Olivia would cave in eventually. In college, Amy _had_ been a confidante. They told each other everything. She wondered briefly if she should confide in Amy now. Maybe it would be a relief and she could help her sort out her emotions. She looked at Amy, sitting across from her with an expectant look on her face, waiting as Olivia debated with herself.

No. It had been a long time since those days…she didn't really know her now. She was going to give it a few days; get reacquainted with her more, and then she could decide. She needed to deflect the conversation back to Amy. "So, tell me what happened with Jason." Olivia felt a little badly turning the conversation back to her troublesome ex, but she hadn't gotten an update since Olivia had told her to get a restraining order.

Amy's smile faded. "There's not much to tell."

"Bullshit." Olivia responded quickly. She leaned forward. "You never had much of a poker face."

Amy shook her head. "Fine." She put her glass to her lips and then set it back down without taking a drink. "I tried to get the restraining order, like you said."

"But?" She could hear the word in Amy's statement.

"The judge didn't grant it. She said he hadn't really done anything that was threatening."

"He broke into your apartment! Went through your things!" Olivia said, outraged.

"Well, he didn't break in. He still had a key. And he didn't _take_ anything. He left things."

Olivia remembered Amy telling her about notes and flowers he left in her apartment. One time, he'd left lingerie.

"Somehow he convinced the judge that it was just a lover's quarrel…that we were working things out."

"And a judge believed that? Even though you were in another relationship? He's stalking you for Christ's sake." She took a sip of beer and set her glass down a little too hard, spilling some of the contents. Sometimes the legal system and their lack of action when it came to these kinds of things really pissed her off. "Why didn't you change your locks?"

"I did." Amy said.

"So how did he get a key?"

"I don't know." Amy said, a worried look settling in. She took a long drink, draining the rest of her martini. "You know what? I don't want to talk about right now. We were having such a good time."

"But Amy." Olivia started, and then she saw the pleading look on her friends face and she relented. There would be more time to talk later. "OK. So, what do you want to do the next few days?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Amy smiled, and started rattling off all the things she missed about Manhattan.

"You're going to have to stay for a week." Olivia said, laughing.

"Well, I'll probably have to be here about once a month, or maybe every six weeks. We have plenty of time." Amy reached out across the table and placed her hand over Olivia's. "You're going to hang out with me, right? Like old times?"

Olivia smiled. It would be nice to have a friend in town to do things with. "Sure. It'll be fun." She pulled her hand back and grabbed her beer. "But I don't know if it will be _exactly_ like old times. Remember that I'm a cop now."

"We didn't do anything illegal." Amy said, laughing.

Olivia cocked her head and stared at Amy.

Amy laughed again. "OK. Well…we had some pretty good times, didn't we?" Amy said with a big smile on her face, just as the waiter came up with another round of drinks.

"We didn't order those." Olivia said.

"Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar." He pointed to two guys in suits that were standing with beers in their hands.

Olivia looked over at Amy, and saw her turn and wave. "Don't encourage them." She hissed.

"Why not?" Amy asked.

"Because we're not here to pick up guys." Olivia said. "I don't want them to come over here."

Amy shrugged. "Maybe they're nice."

"Doubtful." Olivia said. She shot the suits a look and they must have gotten the message because they turned back to the bar. One of the benefits of being a cop. For some reason, she had the look that said back away and most of the time, people understood.

"Your job has made you cynical." Amy said, a broad smile on her face as she settled back in the booth.

"Not cynical. Smart." She said. "I don't take guys home from the bar anymore." She often thought back to some of the reckless behavior in her college days, and new she was lucky to have come through it relatively unscathed.

"You were _always_ the smart one." Amy said.

"I wasn't the smart one. I just studied and actually did my homework." Olivia said. She was teasing Amy. Olivia used to get frustrated because it seemed Amy never did homework, and yet she got straight A's in college. It was easy for her…at least easier than it was for Olivia.

The waiter delivered two more drinks…some fruity concoction that Olivia knew she'd never drink…and pointed to a couple of other guys across the room. Olivia wanted to laugh, wondering how many more drinks they were going to get as traffic picked up in the bar.

"Two women can't sit in a bar without every guy hitting on them?" Olivia said. More of a statement than a question.

"You must not go out much." Amy said.

Olivia laughed. "I go out." She tried to defend herself but she knew she didn't really have much to argue. Most of the time, it was drinks with the squad. Or dinner with Casey.

Amy leaned forward. "Going out with the guys you work with doesn't count." She shook her head. "We're going out while I'm in town. We're going to have some fun. And get you laid."

"Jesus." Olivia said, looking around to see if anyone heard her. "I don't need your help." She did go out on dates…she did meet men. Just not usually in a bar.

Amy shook her head, but had a smile on her face. "See? This job has made you uptight. But we're going to go out and have some fun." Amy took a sip of her beer. "And speaking of fun…your friends are here."

Olivia turned her head, looking at the door that was behind her. She saw Elliot and Casey, followed by Munch and Fin. She turned back to Amy. "We're going to have to get a bigger table." They had a large booth, but it was going to be tight with six people.

"It's fine. We can squeeze in together." She raised an eyebrow. "And Elliot can squeeze in right next to me."

Olivia tried not to react. She knew that was exactly what Amy wanted her to do…to try to make a point. The girl wasn't going to give up in trying to get the inside scoop on what exactly was the nature of her relationship with Elliot, and Olivia had to give her credit for that. Even though it was a total fishing expedition. She had never said one thing to Amy that would make her believe they were anything but partners. But Amy never had understood the concept of men as friends.

"Looks like you're having a good time." Elliot said as he approached the table, looking at the martini, beer and two fruity drinks sitting untouched in the middle of the table. He looked up at Olivia, trying to gauge how much she'd had to drink. She didn't normally have more than a couple of beers or glasses of wine. She almost never drank anything harder than that. A result of an alcoholic mother and too much awareness of the risk of being drunk when you leave a bar.

"We are!" Amy said, giving the gang a broad smile. "I'm glad you guys could come." She stuck out her hand towards Casey. "I'm Amy."

Casey took her hand and introduced herself, looking between Amy and Olivia. Olivia smiled, knowing Casey was trying to size up Amy, and wondered about the friendship between this outgoing, vivacious blonde and the Olivia Benson she knew.

Olivia slid towards Elliot. "We were just moving. We need a bigger table."

Elliot took a step back as she stood up, but his arm shot out to steady her as she wobbled on her boots for a second. He turned to see Amy slide out of the other side of the booth, but she seemed steady on her feet. Of course, Lord only knew what her alcohol tolerance was. He saw Munch and Fin gather up the extra drinks and he followed Olivia to a large round high-top table, with bar stools situated around it.

Olivia slid onto one of the stools, and Amy perched herself on the stool to her right. Olivia smiled inwardly when Elliot situated himself on the stool to her left…happy he had taken what she thought of as his rightful place…right next to her. She was also happy to see Casey take the stool next to Amy, leaving Munch and Fin to sit across from them. Munch appeared to be acting normally, and she assumed he had gotten some kind of lecture from Elliot and/or Fin. Not that Munch was dangerous, or that she thought Amy would ever dream of going anywhere with him…it just sometimes made it awkward. She glanced over at Elliot and smiled.

Elliot leaned in. "How're you doing?"

Olivia knew him well…and that his question was many questions all in one _. Was she drunk? Was she having fun? How was it going with Amy?_ "I'm good El. I'm having a good time"

"You know that if you want to have a few extra drinks, I've got you. You and Amy. I'll make sure you get home."

"What are you two whispering about already?" Amy asked, leaning in towards Olivia. Olivia turned to face her and Amy straightened up and swiveled her head towards Casey. "Are you going to fill me in on these two?" She asked.

Olivia was horrified…that Amy would ask her, and of what Casey might say. She had never said anything to Casey, but had heard Casey's numerous theories over the months, and warded off many questions. She saw Casey flick her eyes over towards her and then she rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. Casey had her own theories and Heaven help her if those two every got together and started theorizing together.

They server came up to the table and took drink orders, and when he had left, Olivia slid her extra beer towards Elliot. "Drink this before it gets warm."

"The guy that bought this for you might not be too happy. I don't think I'm probably his type." Elliot said with a smirk.

"Just shut up and drink the beer." Olivia said, rolling her eyes at him.

Elliot chuckled. "OK. OK." He took a sip of the beer. "But remember what I said. I got your back." He said quietly and was rewarded with a smile.

"Thanks. But that's not going to be necessary." Olivia said. She looked over at Amy, who was well into one of the fruity drinks that had been delivered to the table. "But sometimes with Amy, you never know."

Olivia heard Munch ask Amy about her job and they spent the next half an hour learning about her career and her life in Boston. Amy was asking them about their time in the NYPD, working with Olivia, and their lives in general, and Olivia almost laughed when the questions got personal. To Amy, nothing was off-limits.

Everyone was on their second round of drinks when Amy slid off her stool. "I have to go to the ladies." She tugged on Olivia's arm. "Come with me."

"I don't have to go." Olivia said.

Amy tugged at her arm again. "Just come on."

Olivia slid off her stool and looked at Elliot, seeing a smirk on his face. "Aren't we old enough that we don't have to go the bathroom in pairs?" she asked. She was pretty certain Elliot was biting back a smartass comment. But they were already moving away from the table.

Amy wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist as they walked to the restroom, and their college days all came rushing back as Amy hugged her close as they walked. She realized she really missed having a close girlfriend, and she was suddenly really happy that Amy had shown up.

"I really like your friends Olivia." Amy said, leaning her head in towards Olivia's. "They're kind of an odd bunch, but it's clear they all adore you."

"They _are_ a good bunch of people." Olivia said. She knew they were people she probably never would have befriended under any kind of normal circumstances, but they were each fierce and loyal in their own way, dedicated to a life of service in what was probably one of the worst jobs in the NYPD.

"I especially like Elliot." Amy said. "I can see why you two get along so well."

Olivia laughed. Same old Amy. "I was about to tell you that I'm glad you're here, but…." She let the sentence trail off purposefully.

"You love me." Amy said, giving Olivia another squeeze right before they went through the door to the ladies' room.

Elliot had been turned slightly to watch as they walked to the bathroom. Part of it was his protective nature of Olivia; he wanted to make sure she wasn't wobbling on her feet or that no one bothered them along the way. But I was also really interesting watching Olivia interact with a girlfriend. It was obvious they had been very close. A thought that was confirmed when he saw Amy slip an arm around Olivia's waist.

"I bet those two wreaked a wide a path of destruction across their college campus." Munch said.

Elliot turned back towards the group at the table. "If I know Olivia, we will never know." She was pretty tight-lipped about her life before SVU. He knew about her mother and father, but there weren't a lot of details about anything else.

"Well, just from what I know of Amy up to now, I'd say we have a pretty good chance of hearing it, regardless of what Olivia wants." Casey said with a laugh. "She doesn't seem to hold anything back."

Munch wiggled his eyebrows and nodded toward the two women retreating to the bathroom. "You think the two of them ever…?"

"Knock it off John." Elliot said.

Munch held up his hands in defense. "Hey, people experiment in college."

"You have a rich fantasy life." Fin said.

"Sometimes that's all we have." Munch said with a laugh.

"I don't want to hear about anyone's fantasy life." Elliot said, disgust evident in his tone. "And I don't want _anyone_ having fantasies that include my partner." Elliot said, trying to shut down the conversation. _Damn Munch_. Sometimes he acted like a dirty old lech, even though Elliot knew he was far from it.

"No worries man." Said Fin. "We leave that all to you."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia looked around the table as they came back from the bathroom, and wondered what the topic of conversation had been. Everyone had obviously shut up as they walked back.

"What did I miss?" Olivia asked as she slid onto her stool. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"We were just wondering how the two of you became friends." Casey said, before Munch or Fin could chime in. Amy appeared to be nice, but it still seemed an unlikely friendship, based on the Olivia Benson she knew.

Amy laughed. "I wasn't happy when I first met her. She was so quiet and so serious."

Olivia smiled. "The feeling was mutual." She remembered the first few days in the dorm. She had just been through a very tumultuous year and a half with her mother, and it had been such a relief to escape to college. She just wanted to settle in, and focus on her studies. She was a loner…she had gone through most of her life without any close girlfriends. Amy was loud and outgoing, peppering Olivia with questions she didn't want to answer. Badgering her to loosen up, have a drink, go out.

"We'd been battling each other for weeks. Me pushing her to lighten up…and she was pushing me to not be so reckless. We were each figuring out who we were." Said Amy. "Or at least I was."

"And then a few weeks later…we just kind of…let go of our attitudes and started talking. We were finally listening and we learned a lot about each other. We were both struggling with different things and we helped each other out. And we learned we could trust each other." Olivia had found herself telling Amy things she'd never thought she'd tell another person, and Amy had done the same…and it created a special bond between them.

"She had my back and I had hers." Amy said. "And we were inseparable after that." She smiled broadly. "Thank God. Because there were so many times we bailed each other out."

"Now we're getting to the good stuff." Said Munch. "We've been waiting to her some good stories."

Olivia shot Amy a look, reminding her to keep her mouth shut. "We have too much dirt on each other…" Olivia said. "So those stories stay under wraps."

Amy nodded. "That's true."

"Come on. There's got to be something you can tell us." Munch said. "Who was the bigger heartbreaker?"

Olivia looked over at Elliot. Up to this point, he hadn't said much, but now he was looking back at Olivia with interest.

"Olivia." Amy said, without hesitation.

"What?! No." Olivia said. "You were the one that was always in _love_." Amy believed that every date or hook-up could be _the one_. She was a huge romantic…a big believer in love. Her parents had met in college, and that first year, she was convinced she was going to meet her future husband.

"That's my point." Amy said. "I was always trying to make it work out, and the guys would end up breaking _my_ heart." Amy turned back towards Elliot and Munch. "She would break it off before anything could get too serious. Love 'em and leave 'em. Poor guys would be left wondering what the hell happened."

"That's such an exaggeration." Olivia said, even though Amy wasn't far off the mark. She'd certainly dated, but Amy was right. There had been very few guys that had made it past a few dates. But she didn't need her friends hearing all the details…especially Elliot. "I was there to get an education, not to find a husband."

Elliot could tell that Olivia was uncomfortable with the entire conversation. And as much as he'd love to hear a little more about Olivia when she was younger, he didn't want to hear about her love life. He pushed himself off his stool. "I'm gonna go up to the bar and get some drinks." He said. The bar had really filled up and service had really slowed down. "Liv…help me?"

Before Olivia could respond, Amy was off her stool. "I'll help you." Olivia looked back at Elliot and he just shrugged. She watched as Amy and Elliot walked up to the bar.

Casey looked over at Munch and Fin, but they were debating something. She leaned over towards Olivia. "Worried your friend is going to hit on Elliot?"

Olivia looked down at her drink quickly, realizing Casey had been watching her as she watched them. "Why would I be worried about that?" Olivia said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Elliot can do whatever he wants."

Casey leaned back and smiled. "Uh-huh."

Olivia ignored Casey and the smug look on her face, and glanced back over at the bar. She had been pretty clear with Amy, so she wasn't really worried. Well…maybe she was a little worried. Amy was her friend, but Olivia reminded herself again that she didn't know her that well any more.

She saw that they were standing at the bar facing each other, so she could see their profiles. Elliot was leaning against the bar on his left arm and Amy was talking. Her demeanor was animated, and she could see Elliot smile. Olivia wondered what they were talking about.

"Liv, I'm pretty disappointed that you shut your friend down." Munch said. "I was waiting for some good stories."

Olivia turned her attention back to Munch and Fin. "Why are you so interested?" She furrowed her brow.

"Because you always seem too good to be true…there's got to be some dirt in your past."

"You show me yours and I'll show you mine." Olivia said. She put up a hand. "Wait. Forget I said that."

"Thank you." Casey said with a small laugh. She finished the last of her drink. "What's holding up Stabler?"

Olivia looked back towards the bar, but now Elliot and Amy had their backs to them. They were both leaning against the bar, and were shoulder to shoulder. She could tell they were still talking…and she felt a small stab of jealousy. "How long can it take to get a drink?" She could hear the annoyance in her own voice.

Casey followed Olivia's gaze. "Sorry."

Olivia shook her head. "For what?" She tried to sound like it wasn't bothering her, but she couldn't stop staring at the two of them huddled so closely together at the bar.

"What do you suppose they're talking about?" Casey said, choosing not to expand on her apology. Olivia obviously wanted to pretend that it didn't bother her.

Olivia pursed her lips together. "Who knows. It's none of my business."

Casey slid over and sat on the stool Amy had been sitting on. She leaned over towards her friend. "Are you _jealous_?" she whispered.

Olivia looked at her sharply. "Of course not!" She glanced up towards the bar, and saw Amy had her hand resting on Elliot's arm. She looked away quickly and lifted her beer to her lips, draining half the glass.

"Liv."

Olivia could hear the disbelief in her voice. "I've told you a dozen times Case. Elliot is my partner…nothing more."

Casey rolled her eyes. "Whatever gets you through the day." She sighed and opened her mouth to say something else, but closed it again. She'd tried to have this conversation with Olivia any number of times. Tonight was not the night. She slid off her barstool. "I'm going to get going. I have court in the morning."

Olivia gave her a small smile. "See you later." Fin and Munch said they're goodbyes and Casey left. Olivia watched her walk out, and felt bad about cutting her off. But she forgot about it as she saw Elliot and Amy turn away from the bar and head back to the table, each holding three drinks and laughing as they tried to make it back without spilling. They slid them on the table and Amy rolled her eyes.

"That has to be the slowest bartender in the world." She said. She walked up to Olivia and put her arms around her from behind. "Miss us?"

Olivia nodded as Amy slid onto the stool Elliot had been sitting on. "Yeah, it took a long time." Olivia said, her tone neutral.

"Yeah. But it gave me a chance to talk to Elliot." She smiled. "I really like him. He's funny and sarcastic. And sexy as hell."

Olivia turned towards her friend. She tried to bite her tongue, but she and Amy had always been honest with each other. "I thought I told you Elliot was off limits."

Amy smiled…a small, mischievous smile. "Thought you didn't have any feelings for your partner." She teased.

"I don't. I just don't want my friends dating my partner." She said. Olivia reached out and grabbed one of the fresh beers sitting in the middle of the table.

"For God's sake Olivia. Anyone with eyes can see how that man looks at you." She leaned in towards Olivia. "Like he wants to devour you." She whispered.

"You're crazy." Olivia said.

"And you were _jealous_." Amy said, talking a sip of her drink.

"I was not!"

"Come on Olivia. I _know_ you." Amy said. "And I'm not letting you get away with that shit. Your other friends may let that slide, but not me."

Olivia was suddenly worried about what Amy and Elliot had been talking about. "What did you say to him?" She tried to keep the alarm out of her voice.

"That's for me to know…"


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks for continuing to read this story. It takes a while to get to know a character, so thanks for being patient as we try to figure her out.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was standing between Fin and Munch, watching the interaction between Olivia and Amy. They were speaking in hushed tones, but he could tell that Olivia was pissed by the expression on her face, and her body language. Munch and Fin were arguing about the specifics of a case they were working on, so he had no hope of hearing them, but he saw Olivia look up at him quickly and then turn her attention back to Amy.

"You're out of your damn mind." Said Fin, sliding off his stool, and Elliot turned his attention back to the two of them. They argued like this all the time, so he wasn't particularly worried about it, but Olivia had looked up at him again and given him an odd look. He couldn't keep staring at them from across the table.

"C'mon kids. Play nice." Elliot said, trying to ignore the two women.

"He'll sleep on it and realize I'm right." Munch said, drinking the last of his beer and sliding off the stool himself.

Elliot was about to ask what item they were specifically discussing, but then decided he didn't want to know.

Fin must have had the same idea. He shook his head, but let the matter drop. It was obvious had hadn't been paying attention to the intense discussion happening between Olivia and Amy, because he rounded the table, placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

Elliot saw her glance up at him again, and he realized that he must be the topic of their conversation. He furrowed his brow slightly and Olivia looked away, back at Fin. He heard Fin tell Amy it was nice to meet her and to have a good time in New York, and tell Olivia he would see her tomorrow.

"You staying?" Munch asked, slapping Elliot on the shoulder.

Elliot turned to look at John. "Oh. Um. No. I guess not." He nodded his head towards Olivia. "I'm just gonna make sure Liv and Amy are OK, and then I'm gonna head home."

Munch gave him a quick salute as he started around the table. "See you tomorrow."

Elliot watched as Munch said his goodbyes. Olivia gave Elliot another surreptitious glance, confirming his suspicions that they had been discussing him. He wondered what had ticked her off. He thought back to everything he had said or done since he had arrived. He'd barely spoken to Olivia. He hadn't chimed in when Munch and the others were digging for dirt…in fact, he had forced a change in the conversation by going to the bar with Amy.

Amy.

Was Olivia _jealous_?

He couldn't imagine that. He had never seen her display a moment of jealousy before, although there weren't many opportunities for it to come up. But knowing her, it wouldn't be a trait he attributed to her. That _couldn't_ be it.

Still…

He had been at the bar with Amy for quite a while. It hadn't been intentional. The bartender had just been swamped…and slow. When they came back…that was when her behavior and attitude had changed.

He hadn't done anything…he hadn't even touched Amy except for the time they were squished together at the bar as they waited. That was just a result of the number of people at the bar. She had to know that he would never… _ever_ …date a friend of hers.

He glanced over and saw Olivia staring into her beer while Amy leaned in close to talk to her.

 _Wait a minute_ …if Olivia was jealous…what did that mean?

He let that thought sink in for a moment. He knew they were closer than they should be, and that his feelings had gone way beyond the plutonic love one has for a friend. He had always thought (hoped?), that Olivia had the same feelings for him. But she was a master of masking her emotions…so he could never be sure. It's what kept him in this state of suspension. Never moving forward…never telling her how he felt.

But tonight…that mask had cracked. Unless he was reading her completely wrong.

But he didn't think he was.

His thoughts were interrupted as he saw Olivia and Amy moving off their barstools.

"We're leaving." Olivia said, trying to keep her tone neutral. She glanced only briefly at Elliot as she said it, and she saw a strange expression on his face. "What?"

Elliot shook his head slightly. "What?" He wasn't sure if she had said something and he had missed it…

Olivia furrowed her brow, and noticed the expression was gone. "Nothing. I said we're leaving."

"Yeah, I heard you." He said. "Are you going to dinner?" he asked.

"We're going back to Olivia's and order in some food." Amy offered up. "She's tired and it's been a long day for me too."

Olivia nodded. She was more than tired…and more than done talking. Well…listening. Amy had been trying to convince Olivia that her conversation at the bar with Elliot was innocent. Questions about the job and working with Olivia…but nothing personal. She wasn't sure if she believed her. She told Amy once again that she didn't care…and once again Amy had challenged her.

They had finally agreed to drop it and talk later when they noticed Fin and Munch getting ready to leave.

Olivia went through the motions as they said goodbye, but her mind was focused elsewhere.

She thought back to her reaction when Elliot and Amy seemed to linger at the bar. There _had_ been a moment of pure jealousy…when she saw Amy snuggled up with Elliot. It had snuck up on her…that little green-eyed monster…and bit her firmly in the ass. The vehemence of her emotion surprised her…forcing her feelings for her partner to the surface...when she thought she had them firmly locked away. She wasn't ready to explore them…not tonight.

"Liv?"

Olivia looked up and saw Elliot standing in front of her. Elliot reached over and placed his hand lightly on the back of her shoulder. "You OK?"

Olivia shrugged his hand off. "I'm fine."

Elliot could still hear a little anger in her tone and he bit back a smile. If she had indeed been jealous, he imagined it was pissing her off right about now. He had to admit that he wanted to push her a little…he needed to know if his assessment of the situation was wrong. He wondered… if he pushed her hard enough, would she admit anything to him? "OK. Just wanted to know if you wanted a ride home."

"A ride would be great!" Amy said, enthusiasm in her voice.

Elliot glanced over at her, and wondered what she had told Olivia about their conversation. Was she stirring things up? Her questions had been guarded at the bar…asking him how he liked working with Olivia. Questions about how much time they spent together outside of work and what kinds of things they did together. Questions that nibbled around the edges of what they were to each other, but no direct questions about the nature of their relationship. Her questions had made him wonder if somehow, Olivia had sent her to feel him out…suss out his feelings for her. But he had quickly shut that line of thinking down. Olivia wouldn't do that. If he knew her as well as he thought she did, and _if_ she had any feelings for him, he was pretty certain she was as much in denial as he was.

Still…what had Amy told Olivia?

Olivia had said they were good friends, and that they had been able to trust each other. He could tell by the way they talked about their college days, that they had confided in each other. For Olivia, that would have been huge. He assumed Amy knew about her past…it was very likely she knew more about Olivia than he did.

Still, Olivia didn't know her now. Time changed people. He was reserving judgment.

"We can walk Amy." Olivia said. She didn't want a ride from Elliot. She felt this tension between the three of them, and she just wanted to go home. She was tired, but was also a little buzzed. Nothing over the top, but just enough to leave her feeling a little less in control of her thoughts and emotions. "It's just a few blocks."

'I'll walk you then." Said Elliot. He could see Olivia wasn't herself, and while he didn't know Amy, he thought she was probably a little drunk too. Her eyes were a little glassy and her smile just a little too bright. These two, walking down the street, would get lots of male attention, and he wasn't going to leave anything to risk.

"For Christ's sake El." Olivia said, in her most annoyed tone. "I'm fine. She motioned towards Amy. "We're fine." She patted her purse. "And I'm armed." She glanced up at Amy, and saw she was just watching the interaction between the two of them.

"Maybe better safe than sorry." Amy said.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at her, wondering what she was up to. Or maybe she was being paranoid. She looked back at Elliot, and he was just standing there, trying to keep his expression neutral. Smart man. "Fine. Whatever. I'm too tired to keep standing here and arguing."

Olivia stepped away from the table, and the heel of her boot got tangled in the legs of the barstool. She grabbed for the table as she fell backwards, but she missed. She let out a curse, but then she felt Elliot's arm behind her lower back as he caught her.

"You OK?"

Now Olivia was really annoyed. She wasn't drunk, and now she had just given him a reason to think she was. She struggled against him as he lifted her back into a standing position. "I'm fine." She said quickly. She noticed that his hand lingered on her lower back, even though she had regained her balance.

Elliot looked down at her for a moment. She said she was fine, but now he wasn't so certain. She seemed off her game, but to be fair, it had been a long couple of days, and then the surprise visit. He decided to drop it, since she had already begrudgingly agreed to let him walk her home. He nodded towards the door. "OK. Let's go."

Olivia headed towards the door, following Amy. And she found she was a little disappointed when Elliot let his hand drop from her back.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia rushed into the squad room, looking at Cragen's office door as she dropped her things on her desk. She saw Cragen's door was closed, and she said a silent prayer of thanks. She was almost an hour late, and that didn't usually go over too well. Especially since she hadn't called.

She glanced at Elliot's empty desk chair, wondering where he was. Then it struck her that he may not be at his desk because he was in Cragen's office. _Damn it._

"Morning Liv."

Olivia jumped as Elliot walked up behind her.

"Sorry." He said, as he walked past her and sat down in his chair. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine." She said. She was just happy that he wasn't in Cragen's office.

"You and Amy up late last night?" Elliot asked.

Olivia avoided looking at him by sorting through the message slips on her desk. "I don't know. Not really." When they had gotten back to Olivia's apartment, they had ordered in. Olivia had taken a shower, and the food was there by the time she was finished. They talked very little as they ate, and Olivia felt bad about it, but she just wasn't up to it. They had watched a movie for a while, but Olivia had finally had to call it a night…asking Amy to stay over. Amy hadn't argued, already half asleep on the couch, and Olivia had gone to bed after giving her some bedding.

Olivia had fallen into bed…but had slept fitfully. She couldn't get Amy's words out of her head. _You guys seem close. Have you seen the way he looks at you? He's sexy as hell._ She had finally drifted off a little after 4 and woke up at 7, realizing she hadn't set an alarm. Normally, she didn't need one. She woke up tired and cranky…and frustrated as hell.

And now she was facing her sexy as hell partner.

She just wasn't up for it.

"So, you and Amy were good friends huh?" Elliot noticed Olivia was working hard not to look at him.

"Do you mind El? I have some calls to return." Olivia picked up her phone, wishing she could just get through this day and slip into the weekend. She couldn't deal with Elliot today. She need to sleep. She needed to clear her head. She needed to talk to Amy again, and find out what Elliot had said. Or what she saw between them. Only then would she allow herself to examine her feelings for him…and ponder whether or not he had feelings for her.

And then she had to decide what to do about it.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia managed to avoid Elliot for most of the morning, but he had finally had enough by lunch. He sidled up to her desk, and perched himself on the edge of it, forcing her to lean back in her chair to look up at him. "Am I missing something?" he asked, sliding his hand across his face before he dropped it down and gripped the edge of the desk.

Olivia hesitated a second before she answered, deciding to go with denial. "No."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not." Olivia said, forcing herself to keep looking at him.

Elliot stared back down at her. "You're a horrible liar Olivia."

"Why do you think I'm lying?" she asked, and then kicked herself for asking. She didn't want to hear his theories.

"I don't know. But you've been acting strange since last night." He wanted to add that she'd been acting strange since he'd gone to the bar with Amy, but he wasn't going to push her right now.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm tired El. It's been a long week and I've barely had any sleep. It doesn't have anything to do with you." She hoped he bought her explanation.

Elliot sucked his bottom lip beneath his teeth and considered her words. It could be true. Maybe it was all in his mind. And even though he didn't think it was, he decided to let it go. "If you say so."

His comment pissed her off, because it meant he didn't believe her. Then she reminded herself that she really couldn't get pissed off because she wasn't being truthful with him. "Can I get back to work now?" she asked, motioning towards her desk.

"Fine." Elliot said, pushing himself off her desk and walking back to his. He sat and mulled over Olivia's strange behavior for a few minutes, but then was interrupted when Cragen walked out of his office.

"Who's up?" He asked, holding out a message slip.

"We are." Elliot said, snatching the slip from his hand. He looked over at Olivia and saw her shoulders slump as she started to push herself out of her chair. He turned back to the Captain. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna take Munch with me." If Olivia wanted space, he was going to give it to her.

Olivia was dumbfounded, and she watched as Cragen looked at each of them and then settled back on Elliot. "Your call." He said, and headed back into his office. Elliot grabbed his jacket and walked over to John's desk. She was still standing there when he turned to look at her.

"Hope you get some rest." Elliot said, his tone neutral…cool. Then he walked out with John.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia sifted through paperwork for the next two hours, but didn't really get anything done. She couldn't stop thinking about Elliot and that bullshit move he had pulled. She knew she should be grateful, since she had been trying to avoid talking to him. But _she_ was his partner, not John. And history had proven that even when they weren't talking to each other, they could still work together.

 _Hope you get some rest_.

What the hell had that mean? He wasn't buying her story that she was just tired…so that was obviously meant to piss her off.

Olivia let out a sound of frustration. He made her so mad sometimes. It occurred to her, once again, that she was mad that he didn't believe her lie. But damn it. He should believe her if she said that's all it was.

And he should know why she was mad.

She dropped her head in her hands. The man had officially pushed her over the edge.

She hadn't realized how close to the edge she'd been standing.

EOEOEOEO

Munch slid into the passenger seat of the sedan, and Elliot ignored him, hoping to avoid questions. He honestly hadn't planned on leaving Olivia behind. But in that moment, his only thought had been that if she wanted to be left alone…he would leave her alone.

He imagined she was sitting at her desk fuming right now. In a couple of hours, he would probably feel badly about what he had done. But right now, he felt vindicated. He hadn't done anything wrong and she was being difficult. Olivia was meting out punishment when no crime had been committed.

She had been jealous over nothing.

He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that she _had_ been jealous. Even though he'd spent the better part of the night thinking about it and what it meant. He only came to one conclusion, and while the thought made him happy, it also pissed him off. If she had feelings for him, then why act so indifferent to him over the years. If she had any inkling of how he felt, how could she keep her mask in place? Keep him mired in uncertainty? And why, when faced with what she viewed as a potential threat, did she choose anger rather than come clean?

God forbid she actually shared something with him. Let her guard down and tell him how she really felt. That's what pissed him off.

If he really wanted to be a son-of-a-bitch, he'd give her something to be jealous about.

Except that he had done the very same thing to her. He'd remained silent too. Which only made him angrier.

Sometimes he couldn't understand how they could work so well together…be perfectly in sync as they worked the most horrific cases…but they couldn't find a rhythm in their personal life? They exposed so much emotion on a day to day basis. Anger…frustration…outrage…sadness…fear. And yet they couldn't even begin to express some of the best life had to offer? Affection…devotion…love.

He told himself that she wouldn't listen to him…or wouldn't believe him. The Olivia he knew would push him away. She would run. Wouldn't let him in.

He wondered how much of that was rationalization. A reason he came up so he didn't have to risk her rejection.

Probably 100%.

 _Damn it._

EOEOEOEO

Olivia looked down at her phone when she heard it buzzing. She glanced at it, expecting it to be Elliot. But then she saw it was Amy. She answered it after a few rings, and Amy greeted her with her usual enthusiasm.

Olivia wished she could match it.

"Hey." Olivia said in reply.

"How's your day going?"

"Fine." She wasn't going to get into it with her. Amy sounded like a person that had gotten the opportunity to sleep in and would undoubtedly try to talk her into a better mood. Which wasn't going to happen. She decided to pre-empt her questions. "So, what have you been doing all day?"

Olivia barely listened as Amy rattled off a run in Central Park and a visit to a few shops.

"And guess what?" Amy asked. She didn't even wait for Olivia to respond before she rattled on. "Chloe and Jamie are going out with us tonight?"

That got Olivia's attention. "Jamie and Chloe? They still live in the city?" When Amy had mentioned them the night before, she had never asked about them. The conversation had gone in a different direction, and she'd forgotten about them.

"Cripes Benson. You really are out of touch."

Olivia felt a stab of guilt. She really wasn't a very good friend. She had let work consume her life. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"So… Chloe told me about this new club…"

"Oh Ame…hold on. Olivia said, cutting her off. "I don't really think I want to go to a club. That's not really my thing."

"Since when?" Amy asked.

"Since I left college." Olivia said. She had let Amy drag her to all kinds of clubs and concerts and parties in their younger days. And it had been fun, at the time. Nowadays, she just wanted a quiet bar where she could have a beer or two with the guys.

"Exactly. You need to lighten up." Amy said. "Do you even own anything you could wear to a club?"

"We're not going to a club." Olivia repeated.

"It's already planned. Jamie and Chloe are meeting us there at 10."

"10? What are we doing before then?" Olivia asked. She was pretty certain that with the week she'd had, she would be sleeping by 10.

"No wonder you don't have a boyfriend or a life. You're acting like an old woman!" Amy said, completely ignoring her question.

Olivia wanted to retort…and get an answer to her question because she had been serious. But she knew she wasn't going to win this argument/discussion.

"Do you even own anything to wear to a club?" Amy said before she could object again. "If not, you can wear something of mine."

The thought made Olivia want to laugh. Amy was about the same height, but was thin with virtually no hips or ass. They had never been able to share clothes, even in college. "I don't think that's going to be possible." She said. "We're not exactly the same size."

Amy sighed. "Maybe I have something. Let me look. I'm going to run out again and do a little more shopping, so I can pick something up."

"You don't have to do that." Olivia said. "I can find something to wear."

"No offense Olivia. But remember, I looked in your closet last night."

Olivia did remember. Amy had made a comment on the endless hangers of what she called boring work clothes. She had tried to defend your wardrobe by commenting on how many hours she spent at work and that she had to look professional. Plus, she worked with sexual predators; she wasn't about to highlight her feminine attributes, unless it suited the situation. "None taken."

"OK, come to my hotel about 8 and we will all pregame there."

"Pregame?"

"You're hopeless." Amy said with a laugh. "I mean we'll have a few drinks before we go out."

Olivia smiled. Amy's laughter and attitude were slightly infectious. And she had to admit that a night out with the girls sounded like fun. She was starting to realize that she had let those friendships just fade away…spending too much time on the job. There was more to life…or so she'd been told. Olivia wasn't exactly excited about going to a club, but it would be fun to be out.

Maybe it would take her mind off Elliot.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was still lost in thought as he drove to the address Cragen had given them. He wondered if Olivia and Amy were going out tonight, and what a night out on the town with Amy might entail.

"So, you going to tell me what's going on? Or should I just pretend to be excited about picking up an extra case?"

Elliot looked over at Munch and gave him his best fake smile. "Be excited."

"That's what I figured." He said, settling back into the seat. "Olivia's gonna owe me."

Elliot stayed quiet. He wasn't in the mood for talking. He was surprised when John didn't bring it up again, or start rambling about something else. He must have realized the dark mood Elliot was in and decided silence was best. That suited Elliot just fine.

They arrived at the address in Alphabet City and Elliot let out a sigh when he saw the old building standing in front of him. It was rundown, with an air of desperation about it, and he wasn't looking forward to meeting up with one of its' occupants at the moment. He turned to Munch. "So, what's the story?"

Cragen had handed Munch a file on the way out and he had been reading it during the ride over. "Someone complaining about noise in one of the apartments. Says there's a young pregnant girl living there with two men, and they're not sure what's going on. But lots of yelling and fighting and they feel like something's off."

"But the girl herself isn't complaining?"

"I guess not."

Elliot sighed. This could be a volatile situation. "How do you want to handle it?"

"Robberies in the building?"

Munch nodded. "We can try that."

The both got out of their car and headed into the building. Elliot checked the note. Apartment 1B. Well, at least they didn't have to climb any stairs. He glanced over at Munch as they reached the door, and saw him nod. Elliot raised his hand and knocked on the door, giving it two solid raps.

Elliot put his ear to the door to see if he could hear any movement. He wanted to be prepared if one of the men answered the door vs. the woman. He didn't hear any movement at all. After a minute had passed, he knocked again.

Elliot looked at Munch and John shrugged. "We'll have to come back later." He said.

They both started to move away from the door when they heard a creak. When they turned around, they saw a young woman peering through a crack, the safety chain limiting how much the door could be opened. She had her head bowed slightly, and a tangle of dirty blonde hair partially covered her face. Elliot couldn't be sure of her age, but she was young…maybe 15 or 16? And she was definitely pregnant.

Elliot held up his badge, but he and Munch held their ground about ten feet from the door. They didn't want to startle her.

"Can we talk to you for a minute?"

The young girl didn't say a thing, so he pressed on. "There has been a string of robberies in the building and we're just going around from door to door to see if anyone has seen or heard anything suspicious. Or if you may have been the subject of a robbery yourself, that maybe you hadn't reported?"

His question got a small shake of the head, but the young girl still hadn't said a word.

"Do you live here alone?" Munch asked. "Maybe someone else has seen something."

The girl shifted from one foot to the other, and her eyes darted down to the floor and then back up at them.

Elliot took a gamble. "On the lease information, it says that two men live here. Is that right?"

The girl looked at him again and nodded. "Yeah, but they're not here right now."

Elliot thought they were making progress. "OK. Well can we come in and talk to you?" He watched as she turned her head back towards the apartment and then back to them. "Or, you could come out into the hallway and talk to us." He held up his hands. "We'll stay right here." The girl was jumpy and he wanted to assure her they wouldn't get too close.

The door slammed shut and he looked over at Munch again and sighed. He was about to ask him what they should do next when he heard the chain come off the door, and the door opened slightly. The girl looked at him, hesitating just inside the door, and then she slipped into the hallway. She closed the door behind her, leaving it open just an inch or so.

"Thank you." John said.

"So, can you tell me what your name is? Maybe just your first name?" Elliot asked.

The girl seemed to think about it for a moment, but must have decided to trust them. "Zoe."

"OK Zoe. Thank you. So, you live here?"

Zoe nodded.

"John Parsons and Terrance Martin live here too?"

Zoe looked confused. "No. Their names are Jimmy and Stan."

Bingo.

Munch looked down at the file, pretending to be confused about this piece of information. "The file must be wrong. Are you sure those are their names?"

Zoe nodded. "Jimmy Conlon and Stan Messner."

"Are you related to either one of them?

"Jimmy is my uncle."

Elliot sighed inwardly. He hoped to God that this girl wasn't pregnant by her uncle…or that Jimmy wasn't her real uncle. Either way, it wasn't good.

"Zoe, you know you can trust us, right?" Elliot said. He had to figure out a way to get this girl out of here. He didn't want to risk her two roommates showing up.

Zoe just looked at them, and then she nodded slowly.

"I want to tell you something and all I ask is that you listen. OK?"

Zoe looked at Elliot and then over at John, and nodded again.

"I don't know what the exact situation is here, but if you don't want to live with Jimmy and Stan anymore, we can take you away from here. We can find a new place for you to live. A place where you'll be safe. Well taken care of. You _and_ your baby." He pointed to her belly. "I know you want a good life for your baby. There are people that can help with that."

He saw tears spring up in Zoe's eyes. "They'll find me. They'll hurt me." She whispered.

"No." Elliot said, taking a small step forward. "We're not gonna let that happen." He could see Zoe was visibly trembling. "We're not gonna let that happen." He repeated. "But if we're gonna go, we have to go now. Before they get back."

Zoe was indecisive. He could see it in her eyes.

"Please Zoe. I want you to be safe."

Elliot and Munch breathed out a sigh of relief when they saw her nod. Elliot took a few steps towards her as she turned back to the apartment.

"No." Elliot said. "We can't get your things. We don't have time."

"Just one thing?" she asked. Elliot nodded and she ran into the apartment and he held the door before it slammed, worried about his decision to let her go back in. He was relieved when she came back carrying a cheap brown purse and clutching a small white teddy bear.

"For the baby." She said in explanation.

Elliot nodded, and the three of them hustled out of the building.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia was still working at her desk as the afternoon wore on. It had been almost three hours since Elliot had left, and she kept one eye trained on the doorway, waiting for he and Munch to return. She had just focused back on the stack in front of her when she heard movement. She glanced up and saw it wasn't Elliot…it was Amy.

And Amy was carrying several shopping bags.

Olivia stood up. "What are you doing here?" she asked, glancing over at Fin and then at Cragen's office. She hadn't had a personal visitor in years, and now she had one two days in a row.

"I went shopping and I picked out a few things for you." She set the bags down on Eliot's desk and dropped her purse next to them. Amy started pulling tissue paper wrapped items out of the bags. "Now I didn't know exactly what size to get…" She tossed a lace trimmed camisole towards Olivia, and Olivia caught it. Then she tossed a short black skirt made from some kind of stretchy material, then a short black dress with spaghetti straps, and a few more items. Olivia couldn't keep up and she dumped them on the desk in front of her.

"Amy. I can't wear any of this." she said, picking up the dress and holding it up against her body. "I have boobs…and hips…"

She thought she had said it quietly, but Fin must have heard her because he let out a chuckle. Then she heard another laugh and she turned to see Elliot and Munch walking back into the squad room. It was Munch that had laughed, so he had probably heard her too. But her face was focused on Elliot's face…and his eyes as they trailed down her body, taking in the small black dress she held.

She saw his face flush…and she went from being embarrassed to intrigued.

"See Olivia? I think Elliot likes it." Amy said.

Now, it was Olivia's turn to blush.


	5. Chapter 5

Elliot heard Amy's comment and saw the blush in Olivia's cheeks, and there was an awkward pause as he fumbled with what to say. If he said he liked it, then he would be admitting that he had been thinking about how that slinky black dress would fit like a second skin, accentuating every curve. That there was barely anything to it, and that there would be a lot of bronze skin showing… so much bare leg and cleavage. If he said he didn't like it, he was pretty sure one would believe him. He hadn't exactly hidden his reaction.

"Wouldn't let one of my daughters wear that." He said, keeping true to a character everyone could relate to. Overbearing father and general asshole. Before anyone could say anything else, he turned and headed for the locker room. He couldn't stand there for another minute. He was consumed with the thought of seeing Olivia in that dress.

Olivia pulled the dress away from her body and gathered up the material in her hands. She scooped up the other items of clothing on her desk, walked around her desk and over to Elliot's, and started stuffing them into the bags. She had been angry with Elliot before, when he left with John, but for reasons she couldn't even identify, she was even more pissed now.

She hadn't exactly expected him to admit that he liked the dress. But with the way his eyes had trailed down her body and the way his skin flushed, she hadn't expected him to pull out a comment that basically let her know he thought it was too risqué. _Hypocrite_.

It almost made her want to wear the damn thing.

"Where did Elliot go?" Amy asked, taking the dress from Olivia's hands after her third attempt to stuff it into the paper bag.

Olivia looked up at her and stared at her. All this mess had started with her. Amy Maddox, stirring the pot. She and Elliot had been just fine…

Maybe that's why she didn't have any girlfriends.

"You need to go. Now." She picked up the bags and thrust them at Amy. "I'm working."

"Olivia…" Amy seemed genuinely confused by Olivia's anger.

Olivia sighed, trying to soften her tone. She shouldn't really be mad at her. Amy had stumbled into a situation she knew nothing about, and as usual, had no filter and held nothing back. "I'm working." She said more quietly. "I'll meet up with you later."

Amy hesitated for a second, and then took the bags from Olivia. "I didn't…"

Olivia wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she didn't let her finish. "I know." She glanced over at Munch and Fin, and saw they were watching the entire thing. They had the good grace to look away when her eyes connected with theirs.

"You're going to show up, right?" Amy asked.

Olivia nodded. "I'll be there." Amy gave her a quick hug and left quickly and quietly. As soon as she was gone, Olivia let out a sigh. The last two days had been an emotional roller coaster. It wasn't as if no one else had stirred the pot a little. Casey had grilled her now and then. The difference between Casey and Amy was that Casey understood the situation a little better. She knew the history. And she never said anything in public…or to Elliot.

Olivia walked back to her chair and sank down. She was tired. It had always been difficult to navigate her relationship with Elliot. Even more so in the last six months. She didn't know how long they go on like this. Maybe Amy's meddling was only pushing them to the inevitable.

She sighed again, and then pushed herself out of her chair. She was going to go home, take a deep breath, and have a few hours to herself. Then she was going to go out with her friends. And she wasn't going to think about Elliot.

She walked into the locker room to get her things, but stopped when she saw Elliot's locker ajar. When he had walked out of the squad room, she had assumed he had gone home. Maybe he had, and just hadn't closed his locker. She walked up and slammed it closed, but it bounced back open, stopping about halfway open as it had before. She looked to see what might be blocking it, and saw one of his shoes jutting out from the bottom. She peered inside his locker and saw his clothes hanging inside, and she knew he must have gone into the small gym next to the locker room. She kicked his shoe inside and slammed the door shut, determined to get her things and get out of there.

She had just opened her locker when she heard movement to her left. She willed herself not to turn; her instinct telling her it was Elliot. He must have paused just inside the doorway, and she was glad that he recognized the tension between them. She still couldn't get over the fact that he'd taken Munch out on the call with him.

She heard him shuffle up behind her, and then climb over the bench, until he was standing in front of his locker. Olivia pulled out her gym bag, intending to take everything home for the weekend. It took all her concentration not to look over at him. It took every bit of control not to yell at him for pulling that shit on her today.

"I wish you would have been with me today on this case." Elliot said quietly. He meant what he said. Even though he had been the one to shut her out, he had wished she was by his side.

Olivia froze as she was sliding her workout clothes into the bag in her hand. His statement made it sound like _she_ was the one that had decided not to accompany him today, and she was about to lay into him when he continued.

"This girl. Zoe. She was young. And scared. We got her out of there but…" Elliot let out a big sigh. "I kept thinking that if you were there…she may have felt…" He stopped again. He and Munch had done what they could for her. They had taken her to a group home, gotten her set up and into the hands of people that could help her. But the girl had been quiet and scared. It was two more men determining her fate. Olivia would have gotten through to the girl; made her feel safe. Maybe open up. "She would have talked to you."

Olivia sat down on the bench, and dropped the bag on the floor. She didn't look at Elliot, and she could tell by his stance that he was looking into his locker. He hadn't moved as he told her this, and he hadn't apologized for leaving her behind. But maybe he was, in his own way, telling her he needed her at his side. Maybe it was his way of apologizing.

She felt as if she should say something, but then he was moving. She looked up and saw him pull a sweatshirt out of his locker and put it on. He grabbed his clothes and stuffed them in a bag very similar to her own. He didn't look at her, and he didn't say another word. When he slammed his locker door closed, she was broken from her reverie.

"El…"

Elliot couldn't look at her. The tension was palpable. He knew he had fucked up this morning…last night…this afternoon. She was angry and hurt, and he was…frustrated. He would like to say he didn't know how they got here but he did. He heard her say his name, but he shut her down.

"Have fun with Amy this weekend." He didn't look at her as he walked out of the room.

For the first time in a long time, Olivia felt like she could cry. She didn't want to be angry anymore. She wanted to run after him and tell him that the needed to put all this bullshit behind them and finally be honest with each other. But instead, she stayed rooted in place.

Because that's what they did.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had gone home and taken a long, hot shower, trying to wash off the stress of the day. Now, two hours later, she was dressed. Make-up on, hair done, bags packed. She was wearing a simple black dress. It was sleeveless, with a slightly scoop-necked. Form-fitting without clinging. It showed off just enough cleavage, and fell to a respectable length, just above her knees. It was a little sexy, but not over the top, and was a lot better option for her than what Amy had bought. Her one concession was a pair of killer heels in a leopard print…something Casey had found on clearance and somehow convinced her to buy. She had never worn them.

An available taxi just happened to drive by as she stepped outside of her apartment, and she hoped that was a good omen for the night. It only took about twenty minutes to get to the Hilton Midtown, and Olivia took that as another good sign. This evening was an improvement over the day.

She had texted Amy when she hit the lobby, so she had the door of her room already propped open when Olivia got to the tenth floor of the hotel. She pushed open the door and called out Amy's name, ready to admonish her about propping her door open. Amy came out of the bathroom when she heard Olivia's voice, and she had a huge smile on her face.

"I'm so happy you're here." She said, a huge smile on her face that went right to her eyes. She was definitely being sincere.

"Did you think I wouldn't show up?" Olivia asked.

Amy walked around the couch in the small seating area of the suite, and she walked up to Olivia and gave her a hug. She pulled back, with that same smile on her face. "Honestly? I thought you might bail."

Olivia cocked her head, as if in disbelief. But then she realized that Amy was probably right to think that might happen. She hadn't exactly been in the best mood since Amy showed up. "Yeah. Well, I'm glad I didn't." She settled herself into one of the oversized chairs, kicking off her heels, and curling both legs to the side.

Amy sat on the couch, and leaned over, opening a bottle of wine that was sitting on the coffee table. "Really?" She filled a glass half full of the dark red wine, and handed it to Olivia. She poured herself a glass, and settled back on the couch.

"I really am glad you're here Amy." Olivia said. "You just caught me on a rough day, and I was so surprised to see you. And I know that maybe I haven't been in the best mood since you've been here…" She took a sip of wine.

Amy took that opportunity to jump in. "You were OK when just you and I were out grabbing dinner." She pointed out. "It was when the rest of your friends showed up that things started going south."

Olivia wanted to object. It had been fine until Elliot started flirting with Amy. Or what she thought had been flirting. But she didn't want to bring that up now. "I was just tired."

Amy smiled…a knowing smile. "You know that I know you Olivia. Right? I lived with you for four years. I know when you're lying and when you're telling the truth. When you're going to hook up and leave some guy with his heart in pieces…and I know when you think you're in love."

"That was years ago. We've both changed." Olivia said, taking a long drink of her wine. She knew where this conversation was going, and frankly, she didn't want to go there.

Amy took a drink of her wine, and held the glass in her hand, swirling the contents. A half minute later, she leaned forward and set it down on the table. "The Olivia Benson I knew wasn't afraid of anything." She said.

Olivia lifted her head and looked directly at Amy. "I'm _not_ afraid of anything." She said with conviction.

"Bullshit." Said Amy, a challenge in her voice.

Olivia shook her head and looked back down at her wine. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I didn't. But we were at dinner and I made _one_ comment about your partner, and I knew. It was written all over your face." She let out a small chuckle. "And you shut that conversation down pretty quickly. And then when we were at the bar, and we came back, you were _jealous_. You thought I was flirting with him and you were furious."

"You're reaching Ame. Really." Olivia said, trying to keep her face neutral.

"That must get really tiring." Amy said, and Olivia looked up at her sharply again. "For both of you." She refilled her wine glass and picked it up again. She looked at Olivia, but when she didn't say anything, she kept going. "I'm your friend. You used to tell me everything. We used to be able to talk. You know you can trust me to keep your secrets, just like you keep mine. Don't you think you might feel better if you had someone to talk to about this…thing?"

Olivia drained her glass. "There's nothing to tell."

Amy looked at her for a second. and then sighed as she pushed herself up from the couch. "Fine." She walked by Olivia as she headed for the bedroom, but as she passed the chair, Olivia grasped her around the wrist. Amy stopped and waited.

"I'm not good at talking about things."

"You never were." Amy said, still standing in place.

"I don't know where to begin." Olivia said quietly.

Amy turned as Olivia's hand dropped, and she headed back to the couch, curling her legs beneath her and tucking her robe around her legs. "How about you start at the beginning?"

"We don't have that much time." Olivia said, and she couldn't help but smile a little.

"We have two hours and two bottles of wine. Vodka as a backup." Amy said.

Olivia took a deep breath and she started talking.

EOEOEOEOEO

Two hours later, Olivia was tucked into the back of a taxi with Amy, headed towards a club called Chaos. Olivia thought the name was appropriate, considering the last two hours. She had poured out everything to Amy, and as usual, Amy was a good listener. She didn't interrupt. She didn't try to give advice. She asked questions or suggested another viewpoint, with far less skepticism and judgment than Olivia expected. And in the end, when Olivia confessed that she as in love with Elliot, Amy only asked one question. _What are you going to do about it? Not what are you going to wait for Elliot to do. What are you going to do?_

And then she made another comment that stuck with her _. And if you're not willing to do anything, then you can't expect him to, and you have to accept the status quo_.

There had been a few tears on her part, but the conversation had pretty much ended there. They had agreed not to talk about it anymore that night. They had rushed to get Amy dressed, touched up their make-up and here they were…speeding off to Chaos.

When they arrived, Chloe and Jamie were already there, and they had snagged some seats on some low couches. The music was loud…the heavy bass setting a rhythm for those on the dancefloor. A bar was off to the right of the dance floor, and there were tables and chairs on the other two sides. Up a few steps, was another level on the opposite side of the bar, and that's where they were perched. The couches were comfortable, and they had a small table in front of them.

The women all hugged and spent the next fifteen minutes just saying hi and exchanging the usual banter…on how everyone looked the same or looked great. Then the waitress arrived and took drink orders and the night began in earnest.

Olivia was happy that she'd been so busy talking at the hotel, she hadn't had more than two glasses of wine. Amy had finished off a bottle by herself, so on the cab ride over, Olivia had already designated herself as the sober one for the evening.

Olivia was surprised when she looked at her watch and saw it was after midnight. The last couple of hours had been a blur as the talked and laughed, drank and danced. Sometimes with each other, sometimes with the various guys that asked them. But for the most part, each one of them had declined any invitations for a drink or another dance; they were having a great time with each other.

Amy was currently sitting next to Olivia, an arm draped over her shoulder, telling Olivia how much she loved her in a drunken slur. And Jamie and Chloe were digging up stories about similar situations in their college days. Olivia knew she was going to have to leave soon, before Amy passed out on her, but she wanted the evening to last. This was just what she needed, and she vowed to make this happen again. Soon.

Not necessarily the club and the music. Just time away from work…a night out with someone she didn't work with. A chance to talk about something other than the horrible things they saw.

Another hour had passed, and while Amy hadn't had anything else to drink, they all agreed it was time to go. Olivia wanted to take this chance to get back to the hotel before Amy had another drink. They gathered their things and walked out of the bar, and the relative silence outside was almost deafening.

There was a line of people waiting for a cab, and Chloe suggested they walk a block down and catch a cab on the cross street. Jamie and Olivia begrudgingly agreed, and she dragged Amy along with her. Olivia was worried that Chloe and Jamie were sober enough to get home.

"Maybe we should all pile in one cab." She suggested. But they shot her down, and Chloe insisted she was nearly sober, so Olivia let it slide. They took the first cab, and after they said their goodbyes, they were gone.

Olivia had her arm draped around Amy's waist, and although she was standing, Amy's eyes were closed and her head drooped a little. She was leaning heavily on Olivia, and she shifted to try to get a better grip on her friend.

"What's wrong with her?"

Olivia jumped as she heard a man's voice behind her. She turned, and Amy stumbled slightly at her quick move. The man reached out to steady her, grasping Amy's shoulders. The next thing she knew, he had pulled Amy away from her, and had his arm wrapped around her, holding her up.

"Hey!" said Olivia. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What did you do to her? Is she drunk?" he asked, completely ignoring her question.

Olivia was momentarily confused. She wasn't drunk, but she wasn't clear-headed either, and she stared at him for a moment. This man seemed to know Amy…but Amy didn't live in New York City anymore.

"Amy." He said in a loud voice, shaking her gently. "Amy!" He put his hand underneath her chin, and lifted her head.

"Get your hands off her." Olivia said, taking a step towards them. She cursed her heels…and her dress…and the fact that she didn't have her gun. But she was experienced in self-defense, and this asshole was going to get a knee in his crotch. "Step away from her." He continued to ignore her, and luckily, he was focused on Amy as she closed the distance between them.

"Jason?"

Olivia froze when she heard his name fall from Amy's lips…and she registered the sound of confusion in Amy's voice. Then Olivia saw panic register on Amy's face as she struggled against him.

"NYPD! Let her go!" Olivia said, charging at him. She saw Jason release Amy and Amy fell to the ground. But she was so intent on Amy that she didn't see his fist coming until it was too late.

And then the world went black.


	6. Chapter 6

Elliot turned over in bed and stared at the clock. It was 2:15AM; only four minutes later than the last time he had checked. He had been in bed for over an hour, and despite being exhausted, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. While he didn't have confirmation, he was pretty certain Olivia and Amy were going out tonight. He wondered if she had actually worn that slinky black dress tonight. The thought of it made his stomach clench. Guys in the bar wouldn't be able to keep their eyes off her. Olivia and Amy…two gorgeous women... they wouldn't be alone for a minute. He let out a heavy sigh and flipped over on his other side. He had to get her out of his mind.

Elliot closed his eyes, but a vision of Olivia quickly occupied his thoughts. He saw her in that dress…his hands on her shoulders…his hands skimming down her arms, taking the thin straps of the dress with it…the material sliding down and revealing her full breasts encased in black lace.

He let out a groan and flipped over again. 2:18AM.

Elliot wondered if she was home yet.

 _What if she didn't go home alone?_

He felt a moment of panic at the thought. Surely, she wouldn't bring a strange man home. She knew better than that.

 _But what if she was drunk?_ He could see that Amy could be trouble. Convincing Olivia to let her hair down.

Elliot sat up and scrubbed both hands over his head and down his face.

 _Goddamnit._

He shouldn't be this worked up. Olivia had been his partner for years. He knew she went out. Dated. It usually never bothered him like this. Why was it bothering him now?

Elliot climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He stretched his arms out, resting his hands on the edge of the counter, and stared at himself in the mirror.

He knew damned well why it bothered him now. Because he had finally admitted to himself that he wanted her. Denial had been his ally for a long time. But now there was only one word that he thought of when Olivia came to mind.

 _Mine._

He loved her…and he had for a long time. How he'd been able to keep his possessiveness in control for this long was beyond him.

Who the hell was he kidding? He had always been somewhat possessive when it came to her. Protective. When a suspect made a lewd comment that she hadn't provoked purposefully…when uniforms couldn't keep their eyes off her or their comments to themselves…when someone asked him if he was banging his partner…he made sure to straighten them out.

Even though that's all he could think of now. Sleeping with Olivia.

They would be a cliché.

He found he didn't give a shit. He would give it all up for her. He'd switch partners…transfer out…retire if he had to. If that meant he could come home to her every night.

The realization hit him square in the chest.

 _Slow down Stabler_. He hadn't even talked to her and he had their whole future laid out.

She _had_ to feel the same way…

He turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face. He grabbed a small towel and dried his face, then tossed it on the bathroom counter.

She may feel the same way…but it didn't mean she was willing to give up what they had. This was Olivia. Whenever he got the balls to actually tell her how he felt, he had to remember that. She had to have time to process…to catch up. He couldn't push her.

Elliot heard his cell phone ringing in the bedroom. He let out a heavy sigh and took one last look at his sorry self in the mirror before he turned and walked back into the bedroom.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia could hear a man talking, but she couldn't seem to open her eyes.

"Lady…"

Someone had a hand on her shoulder, and she tried to make sense of what was going on. She was cold and felt something hard beneath her back, and it took a few seconds before she realized she was lying on the ground.

"Lady…"

The hand on her shoulder was shaking her lightly, but her mind was foggy.

"Clear the way."

Olivia heard more voices and then the hand on her shoulder was gone. The loss of that contact made her feel odd…and suddenly much colder than she had been. Then there was noise around her…more footsteps… and she felt a warm hand on her neck. She jolted then, and her eyes flew open. She saw a man kneeling over her…brown eyes staring down at hers.

"It's OK." He said, giving her a smile. "I'm with Emergency Services." He had a penlight, and started shining it back and forth between her eyes. "Can you tell me your name?" He asked. She felt someone pull on her other arm, and looked over to see another EMT putting a blood pressure cuff on her arm.

"Olivia." She whispered and then she furrowed her brow in pain. Her head was killing her.

"OK Olivia." Brown eyes said to her. "I'm Chris." He moved his hands to her hairline. "Have you been drinking tonight?" He asked. He kept that smile on his face and she felt like she wanted to punch him for his condescending tone. She was not some drunken woman out wandering the streets and getting into trouble.

"No." she said, wanting to sound angry. But the pain in her head kept her tone quiet, and it came out more as a whisper. "I mean. Yes." She had been drinking and a blood test would easily show that. "But I'm not drunk."

She turned back towards the other EMT as he pulled the cuff off her arm and jotted notes down on a clipboard.

"OK." Chris was clearly in charge and she turned back to him as he spoke.

"Listen." She tried to sit up but he put a hand on her chest and held her in place.

"Please lie still. You have a head injury and I don't want you to move yet."

"I'm fine." Olivia said, pushing against his hand with her own, as she tried to sit up again. But she suddenly felt light-headed, and she dropped her hand and closed her eyes.

"Stay with me." Chris said.

Olivia felt someone lift her head slightly and she let out a small moan as fingers probed a spot on her head.

"Laceration on the back of her head. Approximately 5 centimeters in length."

Olivia heard Chris rattle off information, and the other EMT was repeating it. She could hear the crackle of the radio, and she knew from experience that he was relaying the information to the hospital.

"I'm fine." She whispered. Her mind was still foggy, and she was having a hard time focusing. She opened her eyes and looked at the EMT named Chris. "I don't need to go to the hospital."

Chris was turning her head slightly, nodding as she talked. "Uh-huh." Chris looked at the other EMT. "Abrasions on her shoulders. Contusion on her left cheekbone and eye. Edema around eye socket. Small laceration on left cheekbone." Chris looked back down at her. "Do you remember what happened?"

Olivia closed her eyes again. "We went out…" God, her head hurt and her face hurt and she just wanted to sleep. She couldn't think. "We went out…"

Chris must have been able to tell she was struggling. "It's fine. The police will get your statement."

Olivia's eyes flew open. "I'm a cop." She whispered. "At the 16th." Olivia didn't know why she hadn't told him that right away. She was a cop; he had to listen to her. She saw Chris nod and he patted her on the upper arm.

"OK." He looked away from her again and Olivia heard more rattling. The next thing she knew she was being lifted and she groaned slightly as they lay her on the gurney. They strapped her down and then Olivia saw a uniformed officer.

"Names Olivia. Says she's a cop." Chris told the uniform. Olivia gripped the EMT's hand; he gave her an inexplicable sense of comfort. She felt a small stab of fear…guilt…or some mixture of both as the policeman walked up on the side of the gurney opposite Chris.

"Ma'am? I'm Officer Janssen. Can you tell me your name?

Olivia supplied her name, and repeated the fact that she was a detective from the 16th precinct.

Officer Janssen nodded. "OK, we'll contact your Captain. Now can you tell me what happened here tonight?"

"We need to transport her. You can get the information in the ambulance or at the hospital."

"Amy." Olivia said. "I went out with Amy." The evening was starting to come back to her. Talking in Amy's hotel room. The club. "Chaos…"

They started wheeling the gurney towards the ambulance; Officer Janssen trailing at her feet.

"Wait!" Olivia said. They weren't listening, or she wasn't making sense. She didn't know which one. She tried to sit up. But they had her restrained so she wouldn't fall off he gurney and she couldn't move.

The EMT's stopped.

Olivia's memories from the evening were slowly coming back to her. She remembered rushing forward to knee Jason in the groin. She had allowed herself to get distracted by Amy falling to the ground. When she turned back towards Jason at the last minute, it had been too late. She hadn't been able to dodge the fist coming her way. "Where's Amy?" She could hear the panic in her own voice.

Olivia looked at each of the EMT's and then at Officer Janssen, and she saw them look at each other. "Where is Amy?" she asked again, and she fought against the restraints.

"Ma'am, there was no one else here with you. Eyewitnesses called in about one woman with injuries passed out on the sidewalk."

Chris nodded at the other EMT and they started loading her into the ambulance.

"Nooo!" Olivia yelled. "Please. Wait. We need to find her." She was getting agitated and she watched as Office Janssen hesitated at the door of the ambulance. They obviously thought she was some drunken woman that didn't know what she was talking about.

"Calm down Ms. Benson." Officer Janssen said. "Let's get you to the hospital and detectives will meet you there." The doors started to close.

"But she's missing!" Olivia yelled, closing her eyes at the pain that rocketed through her body. The EMT's pushed her back down against the gurney, and then she felt a small prick in her arm. Then her world went black again.

EOEOEOEO

"Stabler." Elliot said as he answered the phone. The ring tone had told him it was Cragen, and he was already pissed about being called back into work.

"Elliot."

He could the hesitation in Cragen's voice, and he was immediately on high alert. "What's wrong?"

"I just got a call from a Detective Portman. He's down at Mercy."

Elliot sighed. "OK. I'll call Olivia and we'll head down." He wanted to ask why Fin and Munch couldn't pick it up, since he and Olivia were supposed to have the weekend off. But frankly, he wanted to see her. He wanted to know she was home. Alone. He was about to hang up when he heard Cragen speak again.

"You don't have to call her." Cragen said. "She's already there."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot tore into the emergency room, thankful, for the first time, that they were on a first name basis with most of the staff there. When the nurse saw him, she simply pointed to down the hall. When he got near Exam room 5, he could hear her talking loudly. He couldn't see her through the glass because the curtain was drawn around the bed, but he breathed a sigh of relief. It sounded like she was chewing someone out…she couldn't be hurt too badly. Cragen hadn't known the extent of it when he called, and his mind has skimmed over multitude of possibilities…none of them good.

He let himself into the room and parted the curtain. "Thank God." He stopped short when he saw her, and everyone quieted, including Olivia. She was propped up on the bed, and her black dress was torn, exposing her left thigh. His eyes skimmed over the blood on her shoulders but landed on her face. Her left eye was swollen and black, and there was a large bruise and a small cut on her cheekbone. He could see the edge of a white bandage peeking out of her hair towards the back of her head.

"It looks worse than it is." Olivia said quickly as she saw the concern on Elliot's face. She followed with her standard answer. "I'm fine." She gave him a desperate look. "Amy's missing."

Elliot started to respond, but Detective Portman interrupted. It was clear that he wanted him to know that he was in charge. He introduced himself and explained that Olivia had just regained consciousness after being knocked out in the ambulance, and that they were just getting started. He turned back towards Olivia. "Now tell me what happened again, from the beginning."

"You're wasting time!" Olivia said. She held her hand to her head. It was still pounding and she knew it was due to the concussion the doctor had diagnosed. She must have hit the ground hard when Jason knocked her out.

"What do you mean Amy's missing?" Elliot asked, taking another step towards her, ignoring Portman.

Portman shot him a look and Cragen put a hand on his arm.

"Olivia. I think it would be best if you tell Detective Portman what happened as he requested. Then we'll make sure we have all of the facts."

Elliot nodded. He wanted to know the name of the man that did this to Olivia. That man was going to get a personal visit from him…

Olivia lay her head back against the bed, closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath. It seemed she wasn't going to win this argument. She exhaled slowly, trying to reassemble her memories of the night. She opened her eyes, but kept her head back against the bed. She recounted her evening with Amy, Chloe and Jamie, and got only a few clarifying questions from Portman and Cragen. Then she got to the part about Jason and she hesitated. "He surprised me. All of my training and I just…I let myself get distracted." She closed her eyes again. "But Amy was falling to the ground and…I should have kneed him in the groin. Tackled him." A tear slipped from her lashes and trailed down her cheek. "I knew he was dangerous…"

"Who the hell is Jason?" Elliot asked.

Olivia opened her eyes and told them all about Amy's old boyfriend, the end of the relationship, his stalking, and the attempt to get a restraining order. "He's never been physical. At least not that I know of. But it seemed like he was getting bolder. I should have known…"

"Olivia." Elliot moved closer to the bed. He could see the tears streaming down her face and he wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her. But he knew he couldn't. Not here. "You had no reason to believe he'd follow her to New York. This isn't your fault."

"I'm a cop. I'm trained in defense tactics…"

"Stop." Elliot said.

"We're sending officers over to the Hilton." Portman said, and he pulled out his phone. "We'll check surveillance videos and see if we can spot him anytime in the last few days. What's Jason's last name?"

Olivia furrowed her brow and tried to think. She didn't know if Amy had ever told her. "I don't remember. I don't think I know it."

"It should be a matter of public record. If she filed a restraining order against him, it should be in court documents. Don't worry, we'll find it."

The doctor came into the room. "Are we almost done here?" she asked. "Ms. Benson needs to rest."

Olivia lifted her head. "No. I need to get out of here. I need to help find Amy. This is my fault."

"We'll find her Detective." Portman said.

"You can't promise me that." Olivia said. She had worked too many cases like this…and most of them ended in tragedy.

Portman looked like he wanted to respond, but instead, he looked over at Cragen. "We'll keep you both in the loop and keep you appraised of our progress." He nodded at them, and then walked out of the room.

"Ms. Benson. You really need to rest. You need to stay overnight. You have a pretty serious concussion and we need to keep you under observation."

Elliot could see the protest on Olivia's lips and he cut her off before she could say anything. "Liv, you need to listen to the doctor."

"I can't stay here." She said quickly. "I need to find Amy."

"Elliot's right Olivia." Cragen said. "You need to stay put. You're in no condition to be running around the city."

Olivia wanted to object, but her head was still pounding and she wasn't up to arguing. She tried a different tactic. "OK." She looked from the doctor back to Cragen. "I won't go out looking for her, but I'd like to go home. Sleep in my own bed." She could see the doctor looking at her, trying to assess her sincerity.

"I can't force you to stay." She said finally.

Elliot saw Olivia smile and he didn't trust her. He knew the minute she was out of here, she was going to go looking for her friend. "I'll take responsibility for her." He said. "I'll make sure she gets home." He didn't look at Olivia. He knew that despite her injuries, she'd be seething. "And I'll make sure she stays there."


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I'm sorry if this chapter is a little over the top emotionally. I've been watching the More than Partners SVU marathon on USA today and well…you understand. I'm sorry if people feel like this is going slowly but bear with me. Thanks!

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was only half listening to the discharge instructions as the nurse reviewed them with Olivia. He was too busy cataloguing her injuries. He was getting more upset by the minute as he realized what Jason had done to her. It also struck him that as bad as it was, it could have been so much worse. Jason had left her lying alone on the street of New York, passed out and bleeding. Thank God that the young guy that found her had the decency to call the police; that they hadn't been one of the hundreds of perverts in the city that would have taken advantage of the situation.

Those facts did nothing to quench his desire to get some alone time with Jason.

He looked at the tear in her skirt.

Maybe someone _had_ taken advantage of the situation before the Good Samaritan arrived on the scene. Or maybe he _wasn't_ such great guy.

He heard Olivia clear her throat and he realized he had been staring at the tear…and the exposed skin there. He looked up and caught her staring back at him, and he looked over at the nurse.

"Excuse me." Elliot addressed the nurse. "Have you given her a complete physical?"

"Elliot." Olivia said in an exasperated tone.

Elliot looked over at her. "I just want to make sure you're OK."

"What do you think we're doing here?" She snapped.

"The only thing I've heard is about your concussion and the stitches in your head. You don't know how long you were passed out."

The nurse looked back at Olivia. "Do you need a full exam? Do you think you were sexually assaulted?"

"No." Olivia said firmly. "I don't."

Cragen cleared his throat and stepped forward so he was standing next to Elliot. "Olivia. Are you sure?"

Olivia's cheeks reddened. _Goddamned Elliot_. There was absolutely no indication that she'd been attacked, and she didn't appreciate his questions. "I'm sure."

"I'm going to get the doctor." The nurse said, and she exited the exam room.

Olivia lay her head back against the bed and let out heavy sigh, trying not to scream.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia huddled as close to the car door as possible, and stared out through the windshield as they wove their way through the streets of New York. Even though it was very early on a Saturday morning, she was still surprised at how quiet the streets were. She shivered slightly, even though Elliot had insisted on giving her his sweatshirt to wear over her dress. It didn't help that her legs and feet were bare; for some reason, one of her shoes had been left at the scene. She had opted for bare feet instead of the flimsy slippers the hospital had offered.

"You cold?" Elliot asked.

Olivia ignored him, but saw him reach over to turn up the heat despite her lack of response. For some reason, that annoyed her even more.

"Why do you think you know more about what I need than I do?" She asked, breaking the silence.

Elliot glanced over at her and saw she was still staring straight ahead. He knew this wasn't about the heat in the car. "Because sometimes you don't take care of yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I know that you're sitting there right now trying to figure out how to ditch me so you can look for Amy."

This time, Olivia turned to face him. "She's missing! Of course I'm going to look for her."

"No. You're not." Elliot said. Now he was the one staring straight ahead, but he didn't have to see her face to know that she was angry. She had been since he intervened at the hospital.

Olivia was stunned by his words…by his arrogance. She unconsciously put her hand on her head and then dropped it quickly as Elliot glanced her way. "That's not your call." She was frustrated with his macho tactics, and she felt her headache getting worse.

"I promised the doctor that you'd rest. It was the only reason you were discharged." Elliot said, trying to keep his tone neutral.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to sit around…"

Elliot cut her off. "I swear. I'll turn around and take you back to the hospital." He knew she would fight him on this, and he had been prepared, threatening her with the only thing he thought might keep her tethered to her apartment.

Olivia looked over at him, wondering if he actually had a smug look on his face, or if she was imagining it. She called his bluff. "Fine. Take me back." The hospital couldn't keep her against her will. She could sign herself out at any time.

Elliot's grip tightened around the steering wheel. He lifted his right hand and slapped his palm against the wheel, hard. He saw Olivia jump slightly, and he knew he had her attention. He wasn't holding back anymore. "Goddamnit Olivia! You're black and blue. Your eye is practically swollen shut. You have a bad concussion." He let out a strangled sound. "You may not care what happens to you… but _I_ do!" He yelled and banged on the steering wheel again. "I _do_!"

Olivia was stunned by his outrage and his words. She was used to his protective nature, but there was something in the tone of his voice that made her pause.

"I know you're upset about Amy." Elliot said quietly, now that he had her attention. "And I'm sorry about everything that happened." He couldn't get the image of her, knocked out cold and lying on the city street, out of his head. He knew he was a son-of-a-bitch for being thankful that it was Amy that had been abducted and not her. But that didn't mean he still wasn't worried about Amy. "Half of the NYPD is out looking for her. You're not going to find anything they won't. Cragen is going to keep me up-to-date. And you're going to rest and get better so you can be there for her when we find her." He risked a glance over at Olivia and saw that she was still staring straight ahead. But now he saw tears on her lower lashes.

Olivia glanced at Elliot quickly and then looked out the window on her side. The sun was starting to rise, casting a strange glow in the city. The start of a new day. She thought of all the people waking up, looking forward to all the day had to hold. She wondered what Amy was going through right now. She couldn't help feeling that she should be doing something to help find her. But she knew that Elliot was right.

"Olivia…" he said quietly.

"Take me home." She whispered as she swiped a tear from her cheek.

EOEOEOEOEO

They arrived at Olivia's apartment about twenty minutes later. They had both been quiet on the way home, but Elliot had seen Olivia swiping at her cheeks. He wanted to say something, but he stayed quiet. He had already accomplished his main goal…getting her home.

As soon as the car came to a step, Olivia opened the car door. The tension in the car was unbearable and her head was pounding so hard, she thought she might be sick.

"Liv. Wait." Elliot said as she slammed the door closed. He pulled the keys from the ignition and hopped out of the car quickly. He came around the front of the car just as he saw Olivia brace her hands on the car. He rushed over and placed his hand on her lower back as her head dropped down between her shoulders.

"You OK?"

"Just a little light-headed." She wanted to brush Elliot's hand off her back, but she found his touch comforting.

"Take your time." Elliot stayed rooted in place, ready to catch her if she fell. He heard her breath hitch and he felt horrible that he had yelled at her. She was beating herself up enough.

"What do you think he's doing to her?" Olivia whispered in a raspy voice.

"Liv, stop thinking like that. He hasn't hurt her in the past…"

"I should have done something…"

Elliot realized she was full out crying now and it broke his heart. He had never really seen her cry like this. He slid his hand around her side and pulled her against him. He was surprised when she turned her body to face him, and buried her face in his chest. She balled his t-shirt in her hands and sobbed against him. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. He knew that there was nothing he could say that was going to make it any better, so he stood and held her, hoping that somehow, it could be enough.

EOEOEOEO

They had made slow progress up to Olivia's apartment. She hadn't said a word since her breakdown on the street, and she hadn't complained when he wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her into the building and up to her apartment. Elliot knew she must be in a lot more pain than she had let on in the car, to let him help her like this.

When they were inside, she pulled herself away from him and walked into the kitchen. She steadied herself against the counter as she reached for a glass in one of the upper cupboards. Elliot rushed in to help her.

"I've got it." She said.

Elliot stopped and watched her, ready to catch her if she faltered. He saw her fill the glass and take a long drink. She set the glass on the counter and just stood there, her hands braced against the edge of the sink. He hated seeing her so upset…in despair.

"They'll find her and she's going to be fine."

Olivia turned to face him. "You can't promise me that."

Elliot didn't have anything to say to that because he knew it was true.

Olivia dropped her eyes. "I know you're just trying to help." Olivia was slightly embarrassed about her breakdown by the car, and she knew it had surprised the hell out of Elliot. She could tell that he didn't know how to deal with her now…when she was feeling vulnerable and so much less than her typical confidant self. "I'm going to lay down."

Elliot nodded, surprised at her acquiescence.

Olivia unzipped his sweatshirt and shrugged it off her shoulders. She handed it to Elliot as she passed by, and he watched her as started to head towards her bedroom. He saw the abrasions on her shoulders and elbows…the skin scraped where it had made contact with the concrete. She must have hit the ground hard if she had passed out, and he knew that her eye probably wasn't the only thing that was sore.

Elliot watched as she paused a foot away from him, almost as if she read his mind.

"Would you mind?"

Elliot wasn't sure what she was referring to, but knowing her, he assumed she was asking him to leave. "I told the doctor I'd stay with you."

Olivia knew there was no way Elliot was going to leave her apartment. She was going to lay down, sleep a little, and get rid of this headache. Then she'd be in better shape to join in the search. "I know. I just need help with the zipper on my dress."

 _Oh._ That wasn't what he had expected to hear. He walked towards her and stopped about a foot away. He couldn't stop looking at the dried blood on her shoulders and before he knew it, he was running his fingers lightly over her wounds. "I'm so sorry you got hurt." He said softly. He let his eyes leave her shoulders and up the back of her head, and he saw the white bandage buried in her hair. All of these were minor compared to the black eye and the large bruise on her cheek, but they still shook him. He would take every punch…any knife wound…any gunshot…if it meant she would never have to suffer any pain.

"I'm fine Elliot." Olivia said. She could feel his breath in the back of her hair and the feel of his fingers against her skin made her shudder. But it was the emotion in his voice that shook her to her core. "I'm fine." She repeated.

Elliot stood there for a moment, listening to her try to comfort him, and it reminded him of the million reasons he loved her. "Liv…" His voice was heavy with emotion. "I…"

"The zipper El." Olivia said. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she had a feeling that whatever it was, she wasn't ready to hear it. Not right now.

Elliot hesitated. The words were on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed hard. He had felt her tense beneath his fingers and he knew it wasn't the time.

He reached for the zipper and pulled it down slowly. He knew he should look away. If this wasn't the time to tell her how he felt, it most certainly wasn't the time to be ogling his partner. But he couldn't; these were the moments that kept him awake at night. The dress fell away, exposing the skin of her back, but he stopped when he saw the lace of her black bra. He let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding and he let his fingers graze her skin.

"El." Olivia said softly.

Elliot dropped his hands. He had momentarily forgotten where he was…what was happening right now. "I…" It was on his lips to apologize but he found he didn't want to. "I'll get you some ice."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked into the kitchen and took a second to collect himself. Ice. He needed an icepack for her head and her eye. He looked in the freezer, hoping for a bag of frozen vegetables, but no luck. He saw ice in the icemaker and dumped a bunch in the sink. Then he dug around in the drawers until he found some kitchen towels. He dumped ice into the towels and wrapped them up. It would have to do.

While he had been in the kitchen, he had heard water running in the bathroom and then silence. He walked to her bedroom door, and saw it was slightly open. He knocked lightly. "Liv?"

"Just a minute."

Elliot stood in the hallway, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet until he heard her tell him to come in. He saw her sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her phone and he wondered briefly where it had come from since he hadn't seen it at the hospital. She had pulled on some black leggings and an old NYPD t-shirt that he recognized as one of his.

"Any messages?" he asked as he loitered by the doorway.

"No."

Elliot walked into the room and Olivia looked up at him. He gritted his teeth as he looked at her damaged face, wishing once again that he had the ability to take away her pain. "Let's get you in bed."

Olivia set her phone down on the nightstand as Elliot reached for the comforter on her bed. When she had slipped her legs into bed, she laid down, and he saw her watching him as he pulled the covers up her body. "Do you want the ice for your eye?" he asked as he leaned over her slightly.

"Maybe just for a little while." Olivia took the towel from it and winced as she settled the ice against her swollen eye.

"What else can I do for you?"

Olivia closed her eyes. Her emotions were on overload, and she couldn't look into Elliot's eyes any longer. "Call Cragen. See if there's any update?"

Elliot nodded. "Get some rest."

He walked towards the door and turned out the light. He started to pull the door closed behind him, but then turned and looked at her lying there. He heard her let out a small sigh as she adjusted the towel wrapped ice. He decided to leave it open a bit, and walked out into the living room to call Cragen.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot woke up suddenly, and realized he must have fallen asleep. He looked at his watch and saw it was just a little before 8. They'd gotten back to Olivia's pretty early, but by the time Olivia had climbed into bed and he had talked to Cragen, he realized he had only been asleep for about an hour.

He listened to the sounds of the apartment, trying to figure out what had woken him up. He didn't hear a sound, so he assumed Olivia was still sleeping. He hadn't bothered to wake her with an update after talking to Cragen.

It turns out their suspect's full name was Jason Logan. They had pulled a sheet on him, and besides the complaints filed by Amy, there wasn't anything else in his file. The only thing it gave them was a headshot. From there, the police pulled all the video from the hotel for the past three days and they were going through it now. They had started with the most recent video first, and they hadn't seen any sign of Jason loitering at the hotel. Just Olivia arriving, and then Amy and Olivia leaving. But they weren't done looking through it yet.

They had searched Amy's room, and were also trying to get surveillance video from the club and the street where Olivia and Amy had been attacked.

Cragen said they had reached out to the Boston P.D. and were waiting to hear back. They were tracking his car, his phone and his credit cards, but so far, nothing popped.

Elliot couldn't argue with anything they were doing. It was amazing what they had done in the last four hours or so since Olivia and Amy had been attacked. It was just going to take time and he knew they were doing everything they could to track her down.

He pushed himself up so he was sitting, and scrubbed his hands over his face. His phone was on the coffee table and he snatched it. _No new messages_. He stood up and stretched, and looked towards Olivia's room. He needed some more sleep, but he wanted to check on her first.

He walked as quietly as possible, wondering about the wisdom of trying to sneak up on someone that was armed. But he really didn't want to wake her. When he reached the door, he pushed the door open slightly and saw her lying in much the same position he had left her. The only exception was the towel and ice on the floor. He was about to back out when he heard her voice, hoarse from sleep.

"Any news?"

He took a few steps into the room, not wanting to invade her space. "They're doing everything they can to track him down."

"So, that means no."

"They have his name, his car, his phone. Video from the hotel, the street, the club." He took a few more steps into the room until he was standing next to the bed.

Olivia closed her eyes again and sighed.

"It's only been a couple of hours. They've got a lot of manpower on this."

"We shouldn't have gone out."

"Liv. If this Jason guy was going to do something, it was going to happen. At some point or another." He hated that she was still blaming herself.

Olivia opened up her eyes and looked up at Elliot. "I guess. But if I'd had my gun."

Elliot leaned over slightly. "This isn't your fault."

"It's easy to say and hard to believe." Olivia said.

"I know. But please, you have to let it go." He brushed her hair back from her face. "Just try and get some more rest, OK? I'll wake you when I get another update."

Olivia reached up and grabbed his hand as he started to pull away. "El…"

Elliot stopped and looked back down at her. "Yeah?"

"Will you…" She closed her eyes again. "Never mind." She dropped his hand and let hers fall onto the bed.

"Liv. Anything. Just name it."

Olivia opened her eyes and saw him still hovering over her. "Will you stay here, with me?"

"Sure." Elliot looked around the room and eyed a chair in the corner.

"No." She slid her hand towards the empty side of the bed. "I mean here. With me."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Thanks for your patience! I'm posting this now, and trying to get another update out tomorrow! Trying…

Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia knew she was asking a lot…that her request probably shocked the hell out of Elliot. She always prided herself on her independence, but tonight she needed comfort…human contact. She hadn't realized how much until he pulled her against him outside. The feel of his arms around her…just the warmth of his body…provided immeasurable relief. She needed to feel that again. To feel like she wasn't alone and to quiet the thoughts running through her mind.

She watched as Elliot came around the end of the bed, until he stopped on the other side. He stood there awkwardly, and she wondered what was going through his mind. Maybe it was too much…maybe he felt uncomfortable. "If you don't…"

Elliot looked up at her sharply. "Shhh." He said. He had paused only because he wasn't certain if he should lay on top of the blankets, or if she was expecting him to slide between the sheets or…

"El. I just need to sleep." Olivia pulled the blankets back. "Just take off your jeans so you're comfortable." She turned her head away, as if to give him some privacy. She could scarcely believe she'd told him to strip down so casually, but she didn't have any lascivious ideas about her partner right now. She literally just needed to feel his presence…to steal the comfort he provided.

Olivia heard the buckle of his belt, and then the sound of his jeans hitting the ground. Then she felt the bed bow with his weight as he climbed into bed.

Elliot saw her turn her head towards him as he pulled the covers up to his chest. He held out his left arm, making a spot for her. "Come here." He was somewhat surprised when she moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. He could tell she was careful not to press herself too closely against him, but he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her body closer. He kissed the top of her head. "Get some rest."

He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the fact that he was holding her in his arms…that he was in her bed. He tried not to focus on her body pressed against his. He knew it was good that he was absolutely exhausted, or he wouldn't get a wink of sleep.

It was less than a minute later when he felt her breathing slow, and her body relaxed against his. He leaned his head towards hers, breathing in the smell of her shampoo, and closed his eyes. He could feel himself drifting off to sleep, and his last thoughts were that if he could fall asleep like this every night, he'd be a happy man.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up to bright sunlight streaming in through a slim opening in the blinds. It took a few seconds for everything to come rushing back from the day before, and to realize she had her body intertwined with her partners. He had his left arm still wrapped firmly around her, and he hand rested at her waist. She realized she had her left leg tangled with his and her hips were pressed against his left hip. His right arm was pinning her left arm against his chest. Olivia could hear his heartbeat in her ear, and his breathing was slow and steady.

He was still sound asleep.

Olivia closed her eyes again. She knew that she should wake him…that they should get up…get an update from Cragen. But she just wanted a few more minutes. A few more minutes where she could pretend everything was fine…where Amy was sleeping safely in her hotel room. A few more minutes when she could pretend that lying here with Elliot was real…that it meant something.

She felt Elliot stir beneath her, and she tried to disentangle herself from him, but he tightened his grip around her waist and kept her close.

"S'okay." Elliot whispered. "Go back to sleep."

Olivia settled back against him… _just for a minute more_. She felt Elliot's breathing slow again. She wished she could stay here forever.

It was just a few minutes later when Olivia heard a cell phone ringing. She lifted her head and listened; it was coming from the living room. She tried to pull away again, but her movement woke Elliot again. He grunted as he came to, and then seemed to realize it was his phone that was ringing. Olivia rolled her body away from him as Elliot sat up and slid out of bed. She watched him walk out of the room, and then got up and walked into the bathroom.

Olivia looked at her eye, and saw the swollen had gone down considerably, but was still a horrible shade of purple, as was the angry looking bruise on her cheekbone. She reached up and touched her head wound lightly, still tucked beneath a white bandage. She tugged gently and removed the bandage, wincing as she pulled out some hair with it. She spent the next few minutes washing her face carefully, brushing her teeth and pulling her hair into a clip.

She considered a shower, but was anxious to hear the update from Cragen. She pulled open the bathroom door and snagged a sweatshirt, pulling it on a she walked into the living room. Elliot was still on the phone, nodding as he listened. He turned to look at her as she walked into the room, and held up a finger, as if he knew she was going to start peppering him with questions.

Olivia listened for a minute or so, but she wasn't getting much from this one-sided conversation. Her headache had subsided but was still there, so she walked into the kitchen and took some more pain reliever. Then she decided caffeine was in order, and she dug for some coffee so she could get it started.

It was several minutes before Elliot hung up and she returned to the living room with two mugs of coffee. As she handed one to Elliot, she saw the grim look on his face.

"What?"

"They found Jason."

Olivia heard the grim tone of his voice. "Amy's dead, isn't she." Olivia said. It wasn't a question.

Elliot shook his head as he took a step closer to her. "No." He put his free hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "I mean…we don't know where she was. Amy wasn't with him."

Olivia furrowed her brows. "Where did they find him? Did they search…"

Elliot interrupted her, giving her an update. The team had scoured all the video at the hotel from the previous 48 hours…from the time Amy came to town until she had left for the club with Olivia, and there was no sign of Jason being there. They had tracked his credit cards and there was no activity in the city; he must have paid in cash since he'd been here. There were no bridges between here and Boston, so they didn't have any idea how long he's been in Manhattan. But they had put an APB out on his car, and state police spotted his car just south of New Haven.

"Fin and Munch are going up to get him now." Elliot was upset that he wasn't the one going up to pick up Jason. He wanted to have a shot at him, and he knew once Jason was at the 16th, he probably wouldn't get a chance.

He saw the distraught look on Olivia's face, and he knew that he'd made the right choice staying with her. Hopefully he'd have another chance at Jason.

"They don't have any idea where she is?" Olivia asked.

Elliot shook his head. "He's not talking." He looked at his watch. "The guys should be there soon."

Olivia sank down into the chair closest to her and pulled her knees up to her chest. She rested her coffee mug on the top of her knees and stared at it. "I can't stand not knowing…and I was just sleeping while she could be…"

Elliot sat down on the coffee table in front of her and reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "Don't think like that."

Olivia looked down at their hands…wondering, subconsciously, when it had become ok for them to just touch each other like this; she assumed it was when she had invited him into her bed. She looked back up at Elliot. "I want to go to the precinct. I want to question him."

Elliot shook his head. "You know that's not going to happen. Cragen's not going to allow it."

Olivia clenched her jaw. She knew Elliot was right, but she needed to get to the precinct. She changed tactics, playing on his sympathy. "You're right, but I want to see him." She touched her cheek gently. "He did this to me. I need to ID him."

Elliot understood what she was up to, and he wasn't biting. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I feel fine."

"Is that why you were popping pain relievers?" Elliot asked. He had been able to see her in the kitchen as he talked to Cragen.

"I'm the only witness to Amy's kidnapping. Until I ID him, we don't know for sure that it was him."

"I can have them take a photo and send it here."

Olivia pulled her hand from Elliot's. "You don't want to get your hands on him?" She was counting on his protective nature; she knew he probably wanted payback. She saw his jaw clench, and knew she'd hit the mark.

"Of course I do…"

"Then you understand why I want to see him." Olivia said, cutting him off.

Elliot sat and stared at her. His emotions and common sense were at war.

Olivia leaned forward. "I feel better. We won't stay long. I just…I just have to see him."

Elliot knew Cragen would probably have their asses but he wanted to confront him as much as Olivia did. "OK."

Olivia pushed herself out of her chair, forcing Elliot to lean back slightly. "I'm going to take a quick shower." She wanted to get going before he had a chance to change his mind. She paused momentarily and then looked back at him. She saw he was still looking at her, a grim expression on his face. "Thanks."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot had convinced Olivia to let him stop at his apartment to take a quick shower and get some fresh clothes. He had been in and out in ten minutes, and they were on the way to the precinct. Elliot had considered giving Cragen a heads up that they were on their way, but decided against it. He looked at his watch quickly, and figured Fin and Munch were probably going to beat them there.

Elliot had a hard time keeping up with Olivia as she rushed to the elevator in the precinct, and then into the squad room. Cragen was standing in the middle of the room, talking to Munch.

"Where is he?" Olivia asked as she reached them. "Did he say anything? Does he say anything about Amy?"

"They're just getting settled in interrogation." Cragen said.

"He didn't say anything in the car?"

"He insisted he didn't hurt Amy." Munch said. "That he didn't know why we were arresting him."

"I want to talk to him." Olivia said, looking at Cragen.

"No."

"Cap'n."

"Consider yourself lucky that I'm going to let you watch. I should send you home." Cragen said, pointing a finger at her.

Olivia wanted to argue, but she knew he wasn't messing around. He would force her to leave if she pushed the point. So she nodded and followed he and Munch to Interrogation 2. Elliot was close behind her, and she was surprised that he hadn't said a word to this point. She assumed he was fighting his own desire to talk to Jason.

Olivia looked through the window and saw Jason sitting there with his face buried in his arms on the table. Fin was leaning against the wall, and it appeared no one was talking. When Munch walked into the room, Jason lifted his head and Olivia put a hand to her mouth. She saw that Jason had a gash and an ugly purple bruise on his left cheek, the coloring matching the bruise on her own cheek.

She turned to Cragen. "Did Fin or Munch do that?" She knew the guys would do anything to defend her, but she hoped they hadn't roughed him up. That would only weaken their case against him.

"No."

"Then what…"

"I don't know Olivia." Said Cragen. "But hopefully we're about to find out."

They turned their attention back to the interrogation room as Munch and Fin sat down across from Jason.

"So tell us how you know Amy." Munch said.

"She's an ex-girlfriend."

"Ex?" Munch prodded.

"Yes."

Olivia watched his body language, but Jason wasn't acting nervous at ll. There we no "tells"…no tremor in his voice or shifting eyes as Munch and Fin kept questioning him, trying to trip him up. Jason admitted he hadn't wanted to break up with Amy and that some of his attempts to get back together with her had been overzealous. He acknowledged the court case but pointed out that the judge had refused to issue the restraining order.

"So why did you follow Amy to the city?" Fin asked.

"I didn't follow her." Jason said, looking back in between the two of them.

"So, you deny seeing her here in the city?"

"I didn't say that." Jason replied.

Olivia was getting impatient with their questioning and she turned to Cragen and Elliot. "This is taking too long."

"He's made it clear that he's not going to just blurt it out. They're trying to find holes in his story." Cragen said. "Be patient."

Olivia bit down on the inside of her cheek. It was taking all her self-control not to rush into the room and shake the snot out of Jason. Elliot started to pace behind her and she could feel the tension coming off him in waves.

"What happened to your face?" Fin asked Jason, changing direction in hopes of throwing him off.

Elliot stopped pacing when he heard Fin's question, and he came and stood next to Olivia. They both watched as Jason touched the bruise gingerly with his fingers.

"Do you think Amy hit him?" Olivia whispered. She wondered if she had been fighting him as he dragged her away...or if he was trying to hurt her.

"I don't know." Elliot said as he wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulders. He felt her tense beneath him and he looked over at Cragen, dropping his arm quickly as he saw the Captain watching them.

"Did Amy hit you?" Munch asked, repeating Olivia's question to Elliot. Olivia leaned in towards the window, knowing he probably wouldn't admit anything but hoping he would.

"No." Jason said. "It was someone else."

Fin stood up and pushed the chair back suddenly, bracing his arms against the table and leaning in towards Jason. "Listen. I'm tired of havin' to ask you all these questions. We know you followed Amy into town, and we know you followed her out of that club and talked to her on the street. We have an eyewitness that puts you there…with Amy. We know what happened. So now what we need to know is what the hell you did with her!"

Jason pushed his chair back, away from Fin and Munch. Elliot could see the anger on Jason's face. "I would _never_ hurt Amy!" He yelled. "I love her!" He slammed his hands down on the table. "I was only trying to help! She was drunk. She shouldn't be drunk and wandering around the streets of New York! It's dangerous."

"She was with someone else." Fin said. "She wasn't in danger."

"Yes, she was!" Jason stood up and started pacing back and forth. "I saw her and her friends in the bar." He spat out. "She and her friends were dressed like whores. They were dancing with different men. They were drinking. Asking for it." He was breathing deeply now. "And then it was just her and that other woman. All by themselves, walking down the street. They were drunk! It was only a matter of time…just a matter of time. Something bad was going to happen."

"They were both drunk?"

"Yes. They couldn't walk straight and they were alone." Jason kept pacing and was getting more agitated.

"So, you were trying to help." Munch said.

"Yes. I was trying to help."

"Because they were in imminent danger?" Munch asked.

"I stopped them. I offered to help them get to their hotel." Jason said. "I wanted to make sure they were safe."

"OK." Said Munch. "What happened next?

"Amy's friend went crazy. She attacked me." Jason stopped pacing and turned back towards Fin and Munch. He touched his face. "She's the one that did this to me."


	9. Chapter 9

_I promised you another chapter so here you go! And for those waiting…patiently and impatiently…for the M rating, it's coming. These things take time. Please leave a review._

 _EOEOEOEO_

" _Amy's friend went crazy. She attacked me." Jason stopped pacing and turned back towards Fin and Munch. He touched his face. "She's the one that did this to me."_

Olivia rushed around Cragen and burst into the interrogation room. "You're a fucking liar!" She yelled as she crossed the room towards Jason. "I didn't touch you!"

Jason backed up against the wall as she got closer. "See what I mean? She's a psycho!" He held up his hands in a defensive gesture but Olivia pushed him up against the wall.

Olivia could hear Fin and Munch telling her to stop but she was in a rage. She was standing in front of Jason, and even though she wasn't touching him anymore, her face was inches from his. "I didn't touch you, you son-of-a-bitch. And you know it!"

"Olivia!"

She heard Elliot's voice behind her and the next thing she knew, he had his arm wrapped around her waist and was hauling her away from Jason. "Liv!"

"Tell me what you did to her!" Olivia continued screaming at him as Elliot hauled her away. "Where is she?"

"What do you think you're doing?" Elliot hissed into her ear as he backed out of the interrogation room with her back to his chest.

Olivia was furious…she dug her fingers into his arm, trying to free herself. "He knows where she is! You have to let me back in there!"

"Olivia! Stop it!" Elliot wrapped his free arm over hers, pinning them against her body as he carried her out into the squad room. He stood and held her there, her feet slightly suspended above the ground. He could feel her anger and her outrage, but she was out of control and he didn't know what else to do. He moved his mouth closer to her ear. "Stop." He whispered. "Stop and I'll let you go."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Cragen yelled as he stormed into the room.

Elliot loosened his grip on Olivia and she slid to the ground in front of him. The minute her feet hit the ground, she flung his arm aside.

"He needs to tell us where she is, and Fin and Munch weren't getting anywhere." Olivia said as she stalked towards Cragen.

"So you attack him? You think that's the answer?" Cragen jabbed a finger at her. "You stay away from him."

"You don't believe him, do you? You can't believe that I did that to him?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"I don't know what to believe." Cragen said.

"Captain." Elliot said. He couldn't believe Cragen's words. Did he honestly think Olivia had attacked Jason?

"There are only three people that know what happened, and that's you, Jason and Amy. And right now, I need to get his version of the story and I need him to tell us where Amy is. Then maybe we can figure out this mess." He shook his head. "I need you to go home. And stay there until I call you."

"Captain…" Olivia sputtered.

Cragen looked at Elliot. "Take her home." He turned and walked back towards the interrogation rooms.

Olivia stood rooted in place, torn between following him and defending herself, and turning to yell at Elliot for pulling her out of there. She went with the latter. "Whose side are you on?" She spat out as she turned to face him.

"I can't believe you're asking me that." Elliot said. They had backed each other's play so many times he couldn't begin to count. He couldn't believe she was questioning his alliances.

"You shouldn't have pulled me out."

"You shouldn't have busted in there in the first place." Elliot put his hands on his hips. "Why would you give that asshole any ammunition? You know better than that. You'll be lucky if Cragen doesn't suspend you."

"I didn't do that to him. I told you exactly what happened." Olivia said. She let out a deep breath…she had to let the anger go. Elliot wasn't the enemy here.

"I know that." Elliot said. "I believe you."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Olivia asked, more to herself than to Elliot. "I can't just go home and wait around until maybe Jason decides to tell us where she is." She stood staring at him, silently willing him to help her. She needed him on her side…to understand how she was feeling right now.

Elliot stood and looked at Olivia…he really wanted to take her home as Cragen had demanded. He saw her wince when she spoke, and he knew that her head was probably pounding. It hadn't even been twelve hours since she'd been injured, and the doctor's orders ran through his mind. But he knew Olivia…and he knew himself…neither one of them would be able to rest knowing Amy was out there somewhere. "Let's retrace your steps from last night."

"Thank you." She said quietly.

"One condition though." Elliot said, taking a step towards her.

"What?" Olivia asked cautiously.

"You have to keep calm." He closed the space between them so he was standing right in front of her. "I know you're still hurting." He gently lifted a piece of hair and brushed it back behind her shoulder. "I'm worried about you."

Olivia's heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in his tone and the gentleness of his touch. "I'm f…"

"Stop. I know you're not fine. I don't want to hear that anymore. OK?"

Olivia nodded, and winced slightly at the pain that stabbed through her head. "OK." She looked up into his eyes. "Before…I didn't mean…I know you have my back. Thank you for being on my side."

"I'm always on your side."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot and Olivia returned to Chaos, but none of the waitresses or bartenders from the night before were even there. There were no credit card receipts for Jason Logan. They walked out of the club, deciding to come back later tonight if they still didn't have any leads. Elliot asked Olivia to show him the direction she had walked and she told him about all four of them leaving, and Chloe and Jamie taking the first taxi.

"How much had you had to drink Liv?" Jason's words echoed in his mind. _They were drunk_. He knew Olivia rarely had more than a few drinks, but it had been an unusual night for her. Maybe she had let loose a little.

"I wasn't drunk Elliot." Olivia said, indignation in her voice.

"Impaired?" Elliot asked. "Did you drink more than you usually do?"

Olivia remained silent as they continued to walk towards the spot where they'd had their altercation with Jason.

"I'm not judging you Liv. I'm just trying to understand what happened." He knew her blood test at the hospital would tell the whole story, but he wanted to hear it from her.

"Fine. I maybe drank a little more than usual. But really, I wasn't drunk."

"And Amy?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, she was really drunk. I was helping her walk…and I wasn't paying attention to what was going on around us." She stopped at the spot where Jason had approached them. "He was just there."

Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder as she stared at the ground.

Olivia could see it all play out in her mind and she tried to figure out what she could have done differently. "I remember thinking that I wish I had my badge and gun."

"I'm glad you didn't." Elliot shuddered at the thought. It could have been so much worse. Alcohol and guns weren't a good mix.

"Maybe I could have stopped him."

"Olivia." Elliot turned her body towards his. He put his hand underneath her chin and lifted it up until she was looking at him. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you to stop blaming yourself. You didn't do this. Jason Logan did this. Tell me you understand that."

"I understand."

"But you don't believe it."

"I'm trying." Olivia said. It was much easier said than done. She felt Elliot pulling her into his body and she wanted to resist…told herself to resist. But she couldn't. She knew this was dangerous. She couldn't let herself get used to this. She would miss it too much when things went back to normal.

But for now, she couldn't seem pull away.

"Liv?"

Olivia lifted her head. "What?"

"Is that your shoe?"

Olivia pulled herself from Elliot's arms and looked to where he was pointing. She saw her shoe lying there, scattered amongst the trash on the ground. She stood there and stared at it…last night seemed like so long ago, but there it was. Proof of what had happened. She didn't know why the sight of it shook her, but it did. Elliot walked over to pick it up, but just as he leaned over, she yelled at him to stop.

"Just leave it."

"What?" Elliot said, straightening up. "Why?" He bent over again and plucked the shoe off the ground.

Olivia walked over to where he was standing and snatched it from his hand. She chucked it into the trash bin a few feet away. "I'll never wear them again."

"Liv…."

Olivia didn't know what he was going to say, but before she could tell him to save it, she heard her cell phone ringing. She fished it out of her pocket and answered it, expecting an update from Cragen.

"Hello?" she answered in a rush.

"Olivia?"

Olivia nearly dropped the phone, but she quickly regained her senses. "Amy?" Olivia looked up at Elliot, and she saw she had his attention. "Amy, are you OK?"

"No. I'm not OK. My head is killing me and I feel like I'm gonna puke. What the hell happened last night?"

Olivia was confused. "That's what I need you to tell me. Where are you? Tell me and we'll come and get you. Do you know where you are?"

"I'm in my room." Amy said.

"What? Where?"

"At the hotel. Although I have no idea how I got here. I thought you were going to stay over with me."

Elliot had heard Olivia say Amy's name, and he stood and waited eagerly as she asked questions.

"Amy, you're not making any sense."

"Olivia, just get back here and bring me coffee and some Tylenol."

Olivia heard the line disconnect and she stood there, trying to process what she'd heard.

"Well?" Elliot asked. He was confused by the side of the conversation he had heard.

Olivia looked down at the phone and then back up at Elliot. "That was…" She furrowed her brow, wondering briefly if was dreaming, but knowing full well she wasn't. "It was Amy. She said she's at the hotel."

"What?" Elliot didn't understand what she was telling him.

"She said she's at the hotel. She wondered where I was…why I left…"

"That doesn't make any sense. We had cops crawling all over the hotel. Are you sure it was her?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"What did she say?" Elliot asked.

"She told me to bring her coffee."

"That can't be…" Elliot said. He knew that the detectives had scoured every inch of the hotel and her room with CSU overnight.

"We need to get to the hotel." Olivia said.

"We should call Cragen." Elliot said.

Olivia turned and headed towards the car. "Call him on the way."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot glanced over at Olivia as he drove. He could see her leaning forward slightly in her seat, as if in anticipation. He was still trying to get over the shock of Amy being at the hotel, and he wondered if she would really be there when they got there.

He glanced over at her again, and questioned the wisdom of waiting to call Cragen as she had suggested. It didn't make any sense. None of this did. "Are you sure you remember everything that happened last night?"

Olivia turned her head sharply towards him and scowled. "I told you what happened." She didn't appreciate the fact that Elliot was questioning her again. She was doing enough of that herself.

They remained silent for the rest of the ride. When Elliot pulled in front of the hotel, he had barely put the car in park before Olivia was out of the car. He followed quickly behind her, flashing his badge at the parking attendant as he passed by.

He caught up to Olivia at the elevator and followed her in. Olivia stabbed the button for the 12th floor and then pushed the door close buttons repeatedly. Elliot put his hand over hers to try to calm her, and she didn't resist, letting him tangle his fingers with hers as he let them fall between them.

"I don't know what's going on El."

"I know."

The elevator door opened and Olivia pulled her hand from Elliot's as they walked out. "Room 1216." Olivia said quietly as walked down the hall.

Elliot and Olivia could see the signs that CSU had been there as they approached the room. There were dark smudges on the doorframe and on the door handle, and a notification from the NYPD plastered on the door.

Olivia ignored all of it as she knocked on the door loudly. "Amy! Open the door!" She cursed the fact that she hadn't stopped at the front desk and gotten a room key. "Amy!" She pounded again in frustration when Amy didn't answer.

The door opened so suddenly that Olivia almost fell. And there was Amy…standing right in front of them.

Olivia stared at her for a second. She was standing there with the bedsheet wrapped around her. Her hair was a mess, her make-up was smudged and her eyes were bloodshot, but she looked wholly unscathed.

"Jesus Christ. What happened to you?" Amy asked, her jaw dropping open.

Olivia had almost forgotten about her bruise and her black eye, but she ignored her question. She strode into the room and flung her arms around Amy, pulling her close. "Thank God you're OK."

Elliot walked in behind her and let the door close. He saw the confused look on Amy's face and knew there were a lot of questions that needed to be answered. He opened his phone and hit Cragen's number on speed dial.

"Cap'n." He said when Cragen answered. "We found Amy." He walked into the room, past the two of them, as he started to fill in the story. He turned and watched as Olivia pulled away from Amy and started peppering her with questions.

"Liv." He said, putting his hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. "Cragen wants you to wait until he gets here."

"But…"

Elliot shook his head. "No." He nodded again and hung up the phone.

"What the hell is going on?" Amy asked, looking between Elliot and Olivia.

"Last night, when we left the club…"

Elliot walked over and put a hand on Olivia's arm. "Liv. We can't say anything until Cragen gets here."

Amy kept looking back and forth between them again, and let out an exasperated sigh. "Seriously?" She focused her attention on Olivia. "Olivia? Please tell me what's going on."

Olivia could hear confusion in her friend's voice, but she knew she couldn't say anything. She put a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you get dressed." She said. "The police will be here soon."

"But…" Amy said.

"Just get dressed." Elliot said. He knew this must be confusing for Amy, and he felt bad that he couldn't tell her more. But Cragen was adamant that they not question her until they got there. And even then, he knew that he and Olivia wouldn't be part of the team that got to hear her side of the story. Not until it was over.

"OK." Amy said quietly. "I'm just going to take a shower."

"I'm sorry, but you can't do that either." Elliot said, and Olivia shot him a sharp look. She knew that although Amy appeared to be okay, except for a hangover, they had no idea what had happened to her in the hours that she was separated from Olivia. She would have to undergo a physical examination.

"You're really scaring me." Amy said, putting a hand to her throat.

"It's OK." Olivia said. "It's all going to be OK." She forced a small smile on her face as she wrapped her arm around Amy's shoulders. "Just get dressed and then the Captain will be here and we will sort this all out." She watched as Amy disappeared into the bedroom.

Olivia looked back at Elliot. "I don't understand. How could she be here? They searched the hotel…" It made no sense to her. She had seen Jason take Amy. They had searched the hotel…checked video. Amy hadn't been here. She was starting to question her own memory.

Elliot walked over to where Olivia was standing. "It seems like she's OK." He said, wanting to try to ease her concern.

"Yeah." Olivia said, unconvincingly.

"Cragen's not going to let us be here when they question her you know."

Olivia nodded.

As if on cue, they heard a knock on the door. Elliot raised an eyebrow, and Olivia knew he was asking if she was ready. She nodded again and Elliot opened the door. Cragen strode past him, with Fin and Munch right behind him. A couple of uniforms were behind them, and they propped the door open and stood poised there.

"Where is she?" Cragen asked.

"She's getting dressed." Olivia said.

Cragen looked towards the bedroom and then turned back towards Olivia. "You didn't question her, did you?" He asked, looking at her and then at Elliot.

Elliot walked back and stood next to Olivia. "No. Of course not." He said, glancing over towards Olivia and then back at Cragen.

"OK."

"Olivia Benson."

Elliot and Olivia's heads snapped up as their attention turned towards the door. They saw Ed Tucker stride into the room. Elliot took a step forward, as if shielding Olivia, as Tucker repeated her name.

Elliot took a step closer as Tucker paused a few feet away. "What do _you_ want?"

"I need to speak to Detective Benson."

Olivia stepped around Elliot. "About what?" She hadn't done anything that would require questioning by IAB. She looked at Cragen, and saw he wasn't surprised by Tucker's presence. "Captain?"

"You need to go with him." Cragen said.

"What for?" Elliot said, trying to put himself between Olivia and Tucker again.

"She's under investigation." Tucker said, his tone flat. "For assault."


	10. Chapter 10

_Olivia stepped around Elliot. "About what?" She hadn't done anything that would require questioning by IAB. She looked at Cragen, and saw he wasn't surprised by Tucker's presence. "Captain?"_

" _You need to go with him." Cragen said._

" _What for?" Elliot said, trying to put himself between Olivia and Tucker again._

" _She's under investigation." Tucker said, his tone flat. "For assault."_

"For assault?" Elliot asked. "You don't believe what Logan told you, do you?" He motioned towards Olivia. "Look what he did to _her_! Are you arresting _him_?"

"Detective Benson is not under arrest." Tucker said in a gruff voice. "Yet. We just need to talk to her."

Elliot took a step closer to Tucker. "You son-of-a-bitch."

"Back up Stabler. This doesn't concern you." Tucker said.

"It does involve me. She's my partner." Elliot said angrily, stabbing a finger at Tucker. "And you didn't answer my question. Have you arrested Logan for _his_ assault on _her_?"

"Logan claims it was self-defense." Tucker said.

Olivia was shocked that Tucker had revealed that information, but she knew he did it to rile Elliot. He would love it if Elliot would take a punch at him so he would have an excuse to put a mark in his jacket…suspend him…or even take his badge. He'd been trying to get one of them for years, and honestly, Olivia didn't know why he had such a vendetta against them. She stepped up next to Elliot. "Self-defense? I didn't touch him. He's lying." She said, putting a hand on Elliot's arm.

"Well, that's why I'm here, isn't it?" Tucker said. "Let's go." He turned towards the door and then paused to look back at them. "Leave your guard dog here. He's not invited."

"Try to stop me." Elliot said, taking another step forward. He felt Olivia's hand on his arm, trying to pull him back, but he wrenched his arm free. "Why do you have such a hard-on for us? What the hell have we ever done?"

Tucker took another step towards Elliot so they just a foot apart now. "I don't like you Stabler. And I know you've gotten by with a lot of crap over the years. I just haven't caught you yet." He narrowed his eyes. "But I got your partner. And for me, that's almost as good." He glanced at Olivia. "Maybe better."

Cragen moved over and stood by Elliot. "Just go." He said to Tucker, motioning towards the door. Tucker looked between Cragen and Elliot, and it looked like he was about to say something but must have decided against it. He turned and headed towards the door, never looking back.

Olivia started to follow, but Elliot grabbed her upper arm and stopped her in her tracks. "Maybe you should get your union rep before you answer his questions."

"She's not under arrest Elliot." Cragen said. "They just need her side of the story to discredit Logan."

Elliot whipped his head to look at Cragen. "You trust him?"

Cragen looked down for a moment and then back up at Elliot and Olivia. "No." he looked towards the closed bedroom door and then back at them. "Tell you what. I'll go with her. As her Captain, I'm allowed to listen in. Munch and Fin can handle things here."

"I'll stay here." Elliot said. He was happy that Cragen was going to go with her. He wanted to know exactly what Tucker's questions were, and he wasn't always certain Olivia wasn't glossing over things. "Just make sure you ID that bastard as the one that assaulted you Liv."

Olivia nodded and started towards the door, when she heard the bedroom door open.

Amy walked out of the bedroom and stopped, looking at all the people filling her hotel room. "Olivia?" she asked with uncertainty.

Before Olivia could answer, Cragen stepped forward. "Detective Benson can't be here right now, but Detectives Munch and Fin are going to take to you."

Amy nodded.

"They want to talk to you about last night."

"OK."

"I'm going to stay here too." Said Elliot.

"But he's not going to say anything." Cragen said sternly, wanting to make sure Elliot knew he was here to listen only.

Olivia walked over to Amy and put her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Just make sure you tell them everything that happened last night. Everything you can remember. OK?"

"I will." Amy said, trying to smile but failing. She reached up and touched Olivia's cheek lightly. "Then will you tell me what happened that I can't remember?"

Olivia pressed her lips together. "I'll try." She gave Amy a quick hug and then headed back towards the door. She glanced at Elliot as she walked past him and tried to give him a small smile. Elliot watched her walk out the door and hesitated only a second before he followed her out.

"Liv." He said quietly, happy but surprised that he didn't see Tucker waiting for her.

Olivia stopped and turned back towards him, and he closed the gap between them. He put both hands on her upper arms and leaned in slightly. "Watch yourself with Tucker."

"I will."

"I'm serious. He's going to try to trip you up." He brushed her hair back from her face and Olivia shivered slightly at the intimacy of the gesture.

"I'm not hiding anything El."

"With Tucker, it doesn't matter. He'll find a way to make you say you did something you didn't."

"Good to know you have so much faith in me." Olivia said, trying to make it sound like a joke, but failing.

"I trust you Liv. It's Tucker I don't trust." Elliot slid his hands down her arms until he was holding her hands in his. "You have a concussion. You're not thinking clearly."

"I'm a big girl. You need to stop worrying about me."

"Never gonna happen." Elliot said, tugging her hands slightly and forcing her to take a step closer to him. "You'll call me when you're done?" he said, his warm breath in her hair.

"Benson!"

Olivia and Elliot jumped and quickly dropped their hands.

"Well. Isn't this cute?" Tucker said. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Nothing." Said Elliot. "I'm just reminding my partner what an asshole you are."

Cragen came striding out of the hotel room and took in the scene in front of him. "What's the problem now?" he said, looking at Tucker.

"You should ask your detectives that." Tucker said, disdain in voice.

"Olivia. Go." Cragen said, not biting on Tucker's comment.

Olivia looked at Elliot one last time and then turned and walked up to Tucker with Cragen right behind her.

Elliot watched them go, cursing his own stupidity. He shouldn't have touched her…shouldn't have been so close to her when he knew Cragen and Tucker were both around. But for some reason, he couldn't seem to help himself. He'd held her so much in the past twelve hours, and she'd let him. Hell, she initiated it. It was confusing and wonderful and he didn't know what was happening, but he was going to be a selfish son-of-a-bitch and take every moment he could.

Tucker could go fuck himself.

Elliot waited until he saw them all disappear into the elevator and then he headed back into Amy's hotel room. He heard Amy talking, but she stopped when he entered the room.

"Keep going." Munch said gently. "So, you and Olivia met your friends at Chaos…"

Amy told them about meeting up with Chloe and Jamie, the drinking, the dancing.

"Anyone in particular stand out from the crowd? Anyone you recognized?" Fin asked.

Amy thought about it for a few seconds. "No. I didn't know anyone there."

"How many different men did you dance with? "

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. A few. Mostly I just danced with Olivia and the others."

"Anyone you danced with more than once?"

"No."

"Anyone send drinks to your table?"

Elliot was happy with the questions Fin and Munch were asking. They were covering all their bases, even though Olivia had told them she hadn't seen Jason in the bar, and that it was Jason that attacked her. They needed someone to corroborate Olivia's story…without any prompting from them.

Amy shook her head again, wincing as she did so. "I don't think so. I don't know." She dropped her head into her hands. "Do you think I could get some coffee?"

"Sure." Munch said, and Elliot picked up the phone and called Room Service.

"So." Fin said, "You were drinking and dancing. Do you remember when you decided to leave the bar?"

Amy sighed. "Not really." She leaned back against the couch. "Olivia told me earlier in the night that she wasn't much of a drinker anymore, so she said we could drink and she would make sure we all got home." She closed her eyes, as if that would help her remember.

"Do you remember if the music was still playing? Lights on or off?"

Amy opened her eyes. "I don't think the bar was closing, because I vaguely remember saying that I didn't want to go."

"But you left anyway?"

Amy scrubber her hands over her face. "I guess so."

"Did you walk or take a cab?"

Amy closed her eyes again and then opened them. "It's all kind of a blur. I'm seeing bits and pieces…I think we must have been walking."

"All four of you?"

Amy furrowed her brow. "I don't…I think it was just me and Olivia. Chloe and Jamie left." She said the last part like a question.

"OK. So, what happened next?" Munch asked.

"I don't know." Amy said, dropping her head back into her hands.

"Do you need a break?" Elliot asked.

"I need coffee." She said. "And some more Tylenol."

"The coffee will be here soon." Elliot said.

Amy sighed again and turned back towards Munch and Fin. "I remember…" she stared at a spot behind them, as if playing the scene in her head. "We were walking together…a cab…we needed a cab."

Munch was nodding.

"Jason…" Amy said suddenly, her eyes darting back to Munch's. She pressed a hand to her mouth. "Jason was there." She whispered. Amy's eyes darted around, looking back and forth across the floor and back at Fin and Munch. "What was he doing there?"

"Are you sure it was him?"

Amy furrowed her brows together as she let her fingers trail down her chin until she dropped her hand in her lap. She nodded. "Yes. I'm sure."

There was a knock at the door and Elliot moved to open it. The room service waiter carried in a tray with a pot of coffee and several ceramic mugs, and Elliot motioned for him to set it down on the table next to Amy. When he had gone, Amy poured herself a cup and took a few sips, cursing at how hot it was.

"What happened after Jason got there?" Munch asked.

Amy shook her head while she blew on her coffee to cool it off. "The next thing I remember, I woke up here with a screaming headache." She looked over at Elliot and then back at Munch and Fin. "I don't remember what happened. Did Olivia bring me back here?"

"I can't answer that." Munch said. "I need you to try to remember."

"That's bullshit." Amy said. "I'm trying to figure out what happened and you can't fill in the missing pieces?"

"I don't have the missing pieces. That's what we're trying to do here." Fin said. "When you woke up, where were you?"

"In bed." Amy said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Were you still fully clothed?"

"No. I was in my underwear." Amy said.

"Do you remember getting undressed?"

Amy shook her head. "No."

"Do you have any injuries?"

"Injuries?"

"Yeah." Munch didn't elaborate.

"I don't think so." She looked at Munch.

"No bruises or soreness?"

"What are you asking me?" Amy asked.

"When we're done talking here, we're going to take you to the hospital for a physical exam." Munch said. "Since you don't remember anything that happened, we need to make sure you weren't assaulted in any way. We'll also take your blood."

"You think Jason did something to me? And I don't remember?" Amy said, covering her mouth with her hand again. "Oh God. I'm going to be sick." She launched herself off the couch and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Elliot winced as he heard her retching. He turned towards Munch and Fin and saw the same look on their faces.

"What do you think?" he asked them.

"Her story lines up with Olivia's. If Logan knocked Olivia out, then he could have taken Amy back here."

"But we had cops and CSU crawling around this hotel until early this morning."

"Maybe he took her somewhere else first." Fin said, shrugging his shoulders.

"If she doesn't remember, we may never know." Elliot said grimly.

"Could she really have been passed out that whole time?" Munch asked.

"Maybe he drugged her." Fin offered.

"Could be. I guess we'll find out when we get the blood test." Elliot said, looking back towards the bathroom. The room was quiet, and he imagined Amy with her head resting against the cool porcelain. He pushed himself from where he was leaning against the table and walked towards the bathroom door. He knocked lightly. "Amy? You OK?"

The door opened and Elliot backed up as Amy walked out, holding a towel against her mouth. She passed by Elliot and sat back down on the couch. "I think…" Amy's voice was shaky. "I don't think…I mean…wouldn't I be able to tell if…"

"It depends on what happened." Munch said gently. "The exam will tell us."

"I can't believe this…" Amy said, leaning back against the couch. "Wait a minute. Did Jason do that to Olivia? To her face?"

"Do you remember that happening?" Munch asked.

"Would it help if I said yes?" Amy asked.

"I need you to tell the truth." Fin said.

Amy shook her head. "I don't remember…"

Munch looked at Fin and then back at Amy. "Is there anything else you want to tell us before we leave?"

Amy shook her head before covering her face with her hands again.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia sat across from Tucker with her arms folded on the table in front of her. She had relayed everything she had told Elliot and Cragen, and now Tucker was just staring at her. He hadn't interrupted once as she'd told her story, and she didn't know what to make of that. But she was bracing herself because she was certain he'd have questions now.

"So, you maintain that Jason Logan punched you unprovoked?"

"As I said, Jason pulled Amy from my grasp. Amy said his name, so I knew who he was, and I told him to take his hands off her. I identified myself as NYPD and moved towards him."

"And punched him?"

"As I said, I didn't touch him."

"So, he just punched you?"

"Yes."

"So, you were unconscious and you didn't seem Logan abduct Amy?"

Olivia shook her head. "That's what I said."

"Were you drunk?"

"No."

"Your blood test will tell us how impaired you were."

"I know all of that." Olivia said. "I'm telling you the truth."

Tucker just stared at her for a moment, and Olivia knew it was an intimidation tactic. A tactic what wasn't going to work on her. She pushed her chair back from the table.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I told you what happened. I've answered all your questions. I'm leaving."

Tucker stood up. "You haven't answered all of my questions."

Olivia paused. She couldn't imagine what else he had to ask, so she didn't say anything. She looked at the window; she knew Cragen was on the other side. Olivia turned her attention back to Tucker. "What else do you want to know?"

Tucker hesitated a second, staring at her again. "I want to know what the nature of your relationship with your partner."

Olivia thought she had been prepared for anything, but Tucker's question surprised her. She glanced up quickly at the window and then back at Tucker. "I think we're done here." She said.

"Detective." Tucker said as she rounded the table.

"I've answered all your questions." She pulled the door open. "The only thing left for you to do is arrest Jason Logan for assault." Olivia walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. She glanced at Cragen as she walked by, wondering if he was going to say anything.

"We'll charge Logan." He said.

Olivia nodded. "I'm going home."


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Well, this story has gone on a lot longer than I planned, but things are going more slowly than I imagined. It'll speed up after this! Thanks for reading.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia pulled her phone out of her pocket as she exited the precinct. She was still steaming over Tucker's interview and innuendo, but she really wanted to get an update on her fellow detectives talk with Amy. She really hoped that Amy remembered more of what happened last night than she had claimed.

The phone was ringing but Elliot wasn't picking up. She almost hung up but then she heard his voice.

"Liv." Elliot said. "What happened with Tucker?"

"Nothing." Olivia said, more interested in Amy at that moment. "What did Amy say?"

"Did they charge Logan with your assault?"

"Elliot." Olivia said impatiently.

Elliot sighed. "Amy's story corroborates yours. She remembers seeing Jason on the street."

"Good." Olivia said as she walked out to the street to flag a taxi.

"But unfortunately, she doesn't remember anything after that."

"Nothing?" Olivia asked, even though she had kind of been expecting it. A taxi pulled up to the curb and Olivia climbed inside. "Where are you right now?" she asked. "Are you still at the hotel with Amy?"

"No. I'm following Munch and Fin. They're taking Amy to Mercy for a physical."

"The hospital." Olivia said. It was a statement and a question. She looked up at the cabbie. "Mercy." The cabdriver nodded and pulled away.

Elliot overheard her give the name of the hospital, and knew she must have hopped her into a cab. "Liv, I think you should go home."

"Amy's going to the hospital. You really think I'm going to go home?" Olivia asked incredulously.

Elliot sighed. He hadn't been crazy enough to think she would listen to him. He certainly wouldn't abandon a friend like that and he wouldn't have expected Olivia to. But he was really worried about her concussion and the toll this was taking on her.

"Liv." He said helplessly. "I'll let you know as soon as she…"

"I'm not going home." Olivia said. She hung up the phone and stuffed it back in her pocket.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia found Elliot standing outside the exam rooms with Munch and Fin. She didn't waste any time before she began firing questions at them. John told her to calm down and he would fill her in, and he guided her over to the chairs in the waiting area, with Fin trailing behind them.

Elliot stayed in place, watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. He was still a little shocked each time he saw her today…the swelling and the bruises a proved to be a startling reminder of all that had happened. He could see the exhaustion on her face and he wished he could do something to make all of this go away.

Olivia listened as Fin and Munch repeated the information they'd gotten from Amy at the hotel. She asked a couple of clarifying questions, but she was frustrated by Amy's lack of recall. Fin assured her they were pulling more recent video from the hotel; there had to be some record of Amy and Jason returning to the hotel. There was no other explanation. If Amy was unconscious, there would be no way she could have re-entered the hotel under her own steam.

Elliot wandered over to where they were sitting.

"You OK?" he asked.

"Do you think he raped her?" Olivia asked.

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know. But if she was unconscious…" he shrugged again. "Well, she wouldn't have put up a fight. So unless they find some physical evidence…"

"We shouldn't have gone out." Olivia didn't want to sound like a broken record, but she couldn't help thinking it.

Elliot sat down in the chair next to her. "Jason Logan is a stalker. This is not your fault. Or Amy's fault."

"If she can't remember and Logan won't talk, we may never know what happened." Olivia said. "He could have assaulted her and she'd never know." She had a vision of Jason laying Amy down on the bed…undressing her…pretending it was consensual…taking his time with her, touching her. "Son-of-a-bitch is going to get away with it."

"We'll get him Liv." Elliot said, trying to comfort her. 'And we'll get him for his assault on you."

"There are no witnesses Elliot." Olivia said, standing up. "It's my word against his. And as you pointed out, I was drunk."

Elliot stood up to face her. "I never said you were drunk."

Olivia took a few paces away from him and then turned to face him. "The truth is, they have my blood and it shows I had been drinking. There is no proof of what happened, but with he said, she said…it comes down to character and facts. I have a violent job. I have the training and I've been involved in more than one takedown. I was drinking. And Jason Logan appears to be a fucking saint." She paced a few more steps down the hallway, turning into a small alcove, and then turned back to face Elliot. "He helped a drunk woman back to her hotel. That's what he's going to say and they're going to believe it."

Elliot followed her into the alcove. He could see tears on her lower lashes before she buried her face in her hands. He closed the gap between them and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "He's not going to get away with it." Elliot whispered. He pulled her into his body and she offered no resistance. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her bury her head in her chest. He had never seen her this vulnerable, and he wondered briefly what it was about this event that had made her give in to it. After all the horrific things they'd seen day in and day out…of all the times she could have crumbled…the times she would have felt the need for comfort…why now? Why this? Maybe it was because this was personal. All the other times, she'd been a cop. The protector. Getting justice for the victims. But this time, she'd been out on a night out with friends. It had been a chance to let her guard down. An opportunity to put down her sword and her shield and be a normal person…one of the girls.

Elliot buried his face in her hair and tightened his arms around her. "I'm sorry. I wish I could make all of this go away." He heard Olivia mumble something into his chest, but he couldn't hear her. She didn't move, so he decided it must not be important. He swayed slightly in place, rocking her gently, and he slid his hand up and down her back.

Olivia could feel the heat of his hand through the fabric of her t-shirt. She felt warmth spread through her body. She wanted to stay wrapped in Elliot's arms forever…she felt safe here. Like nothing in the world could touch them.

Suddenly, the couldn't think of anything except the feel of his hands on her. She wanted nothing more than to escape…to sneak away from this mess and be alone with him. She put her palms flat against his chest and lifted her head from his chest. Elliot stared down at her, a question in his eyes.

"El…" She whispered. She let her eyes drop to his mouth, and then back to meet his eyes.

"Olivia?" a loud voice called out.

She had been lost in the moment, she almost gasped at the sound of her name.

"Olivia?"

She heard her name again. A little louder and a little closer.

She pushed hands against Elliot's chest and he was forced to take a few steps back. She slid around him and around the corner, into the main hallway. She saw Munch walking towards her. "What?"

"Amy's asking for you."

Olivia glanced back quickly and saw Elliot had followed her. She didn't say anything as she turned and rushed towards the exam room that held her friend.

Elliot watched her go. He wondered what she had been about to say…about to do…before Munch had called her name and broken the reverie. He knew what he had hoped for…and what he had been thinking himself. He'd had an overwhelming urge to kiss her.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. This was so fucked up. This wasn't the time for this.

And yet.

There was no denying that she was allowing herself to give in to the pull they'd felt for years. He was more than happy to comply. Because there was no doubt that she was in control of this thing between them. She always had been. He knows he would have given in to her completely, at any time. She was the one that had kept them in line. Protected his marriage. Their partnership.

He could see a different future for them now. Something he had only dare dream about before. Over the past few days, they had strayed onto a new path. One that had formerly been forbidden, and even though he thought it was impossible to go back now, he knew he had some responsibility here. To keep this from going too far while she was in the middle of this crisis.

He needed to protect her.

Elliot shook his head as he walked down the hallway. He'd like to think he could be strong, but he knew he wouldn't be able to resist her. He hadn't been able to so far…

EOEOEOEO

Olivia walked out of the exam room an hour later, and John and Elliot stood up from where they were sitting. She shook her head, not ready to field their questions. She was exhausted and emotionally drained. As soon as she reached them, she slumped into one of the chairs.

"I feel completely useless." She muttered.

"What did the doctor say?"

Olivia shook her head. "No conclusive results on whether or not she was sexually assaulted. No evidence of semen or spermicide. No trauma that would indicate rape. Her blood alcohol level was still high, but there was a very small trace of Rohypnol in her system."

"He drugged her." Munch said.

"Even though she was drunk, he wanted to make sure she wouldn't wake up." Elliot said.

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded. She was frustrated with her inability to help her friend. She hadn't been any help when she had asked her about Jason Logan before. She'd told her to get an order of protection and never thought about it again. And now, they were here.

Elliot could tell Olivia was beating herself up again. "Liv, this isn't…"

Olivia pushed herself out of her chair. "Don't say it." She spat out, her eyes flashing in anger. "You can tell me it's not my fault, but it doesn't mean I don't feel guilty." She knew he was only trying to help, but his words weren't going to make her feel any better about this entire mess. She lowered her tone. "Amy is going to stay with Chloe." She looked at Elliot. "Can you give us a ride?"

"Sure."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot glanced over at Olivia as he drove her home. They had been to the hotel to collect Amy's things, and then he had driven them to their friend Chloe's. Amy and Olivia had both sat in the back seat on the drive, and Olivia had her arm around Amy the entire time as Amy slumped against her. He knew Amy was still hungover, and was emotionally distraught over everything that had happened. He couldn't imagine missing an entire night of your life…and not knowing what happened to you. He certainly hoped Fin showed up with video that gave them some proof…something they could work with. Olivia had walked her up, and they had been up there for a while. When Olivia came back and slid into the passenger seat, she didn't say a word. It had been like this for the last ten minutes as they drove towards her place. He didn't know if he should say something. There was nothing he could think to say that would make any difference. He glanced over at her again, and saw her staring out the windshield.

The exhaustion she had been feeling was overwhelming her now. Olivia honestly didn't know if she had enough energy to walk up to her apartment. She had seen Elliot glancing over at her and she knew she should say something. Tell him she was OK. But she couldn't.

She thought about the feeling of his arms around her and she wanted to lose herself in that feeling again. Closing her eyes, she imagined falling into bed with Elliot…losing herself for a few hours. She had done it before with other men...when the cases got to be too much.

But this was Elliot. This was different. She couldn't do that to him. To them.

Whatever was happening between them right now had to wait.

"Liv?"

Olivia's eyes fluttered open and she felt his hand on her arm. She realized they were parked half a block down from her apartment. She must have dozed off.

"You OK?"

Olivia nodded very slightly, but she couldn't seem to move. Elliot stayed rooted in place, and she knew he wasn't sure what to do. It was silent in the car except for the slow ticking of the engine as it cooled down.

Elliot didn't know what was going on in Olivia's mind, and it was uncharted territory for him. He wasn't sure what to do right now; how he could help. A few minutes passed, and she still hadn't made any move to get out of the car. He pushed open his car door and closed it as quietly as he could, somehow not wanting to break the silence. As he walked around the front of the card to Olivia's side of the car, and he watched her as he walked. She wasn't moving…wasn't tracking his movement. She seemed lost in thought and he could see the exhaustion in her demeanor. Her skin seemed almost pale, and the bruises on her face were stark in contrast.

Olivia heard Elliot open her car door and she turned her head as he crouched down next to her on the sidewalk.

"You ready to go upstairs?" he asked quietly. He placed his hand on her thigh and pulled lightly to swing her legs out of the car. "Do you want me to carry you?"

Olivia looked at his hand on her leg as she felt her feet hit the ground, and then back up at him. "No." She reached up and wrapped her hand around the top of the door, and Elliot backed up as she pulled herself up. "I'm fine. You can go home."

"That's not going to happen."

Olivia didn't even fight him. She hadn't expected him to listen to her anyway. She started walking towards the door of her apartment building, and she heard the car door slam closed behind her. She was almost to the door when Elliot caught up with her, and they made the journey up to her apartment in silence.

Elliot hovered in the doorway once they were inside. He really had no intention of leaving, but he wasn't certain where her mind was at. He watched as she went to the cupboard and took more Tylenol, and when she turned, he saw her glance at him. Her expression unreadable.

"Maybe I should get us something to eat." Elliot suggested.

Olivia walked out of the kitchen and past him into the living room. "I'm not hungry."

"Olivia, you should…" Elliot started.

"Just stop." Olivia said, turning back to face him. She put her hands on her hips. "You've done too much already. Just go home."

Elliot considered her words, and thought about everything that had happened over the last 24 hours. "I'm not going anywhere." He said, taking a few steps so he was standing in front of her.

Olivia wanted to take a step back. Elliot was invading her personal space. It wasn't the first time over the years, but now…it seemed different. Dangerous. She had already been leaning on him too much, and it was just as she had feared. She had allowed herself to get comfortable being in his arms, and it was easier and easier to cave in each time. She craved it.

"Why is it so hard for you to accept help?" Elliot asked. He reached out and placed his hands on her upper arms, wrapping his fingers lightly around her biceps.

"It's not hard…" Olivia started, wondering how this man always read her damn mind. "I just…I can take care of myself."

"That's exactly what I'm saying Olivia. I _know_ you can take care of yourself, but wouldn't it be nice if you could lean on someone else? Just for a little while?" Elliot said, looking back and forth between her eyes. He knew he was pushing her. That she had learned a long time ago that the only person she could entrust her emotional well-being with was herself. She was afraid to let anyone in…even him. The vulnerability she'd shown over the past day was so uncharacteristic and he knew she was probably beating herself up over it.

Olivia shrugged her arms, letting him know that he needed to let her go. "This has gone too far already." She whispered.

Elliot took a half step closer, not quite believing she'd brought it up. "What's gone too far?" he said softly, running his hands lightly down her arms until he had her hands in his. He was surprised when she didn't pull her hands away.

"This." she rasped, her voice catching in her throat. Her emotions were all over the place. She had told herself on the way up to her apartment that she was going to send Elliot home…no matter how much she wanted to throw herself in his arms. But now he was challenging her and her resolve was fading quickly.

"What?" Elliot said innocently, his eyes never leaving hers. He could see the uncertainty on her face, but he wanted to hear her say it…hear how she was interpreting the change in their relationship.

"Don't pretend…" Olivia started to say. She didn't know what Elliot was trying to pull here, but she wasn't in the mood for games. She pulled her hands from Elliot's and shook her head. "Never mind."

She turned away from Elliot and took a few steps away before she heard his voice.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked, that same soft tone in his voice.

Olivia turned around quickly. "I'm not afraid of anything." She said, pressing her lips together and glaring at him. She really wanted to tell him that she didn't need this bullshit right now, but she was just too tired to lay into him right now. "I'm not." She repeated.

"Bullshit." Elliot said a challenge in his voice.

Olivia shook her head. "Fuck off El.

Elliot didn't drop it. He couldn't. He wasn't going to let her walk away from this. Now that the conversation had started, he felt like they needed to finish it. Even if the timing sucked. "I think you're afraid of needing someone. I think you're afraid of us."

"There is no _us_ Elliot." Olivia shot back, but even she heard the slight tremble in her voice.

"You're afraid." Elliot said, taking a step closer.

"El." Olivia whispered, and there was a pleading tone to it.

"You don't have to be afraid of me."

Olivia shook her head almost imperceptibly.

"Don't be afraid." He whispered. He could see the war she was waging in her eyes.

Olivia stood rooted in place, listening to the voice in her head telling her not to…but she ignored them. "I'm not afraid of needing someone." Olivia said, even though it was a lie. In two steps, she was next to Elliot. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked up in his eyes. "I'm not afraid of you." And then, before she could stop herself, she pushed herself up on her toes and kissed him.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I know people have been waiting for an update. I'm sorry to keep you hanging after that kiss (not sorry really). Thanks for reading!

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia kissed him softly, but there was nothing tentative about it. He was so damned surprised, it took him a second to register what was happening, but then she was sliding her hands up around his neck and he didn't waste another moment. He slid his right hand through her hair and pulled her closer, and it was mere seconds later when he tilted her head and deepened the kiss. The feel of her mouth against his was more amazing than he could have possibly imagined, and he could feel the years of want fueling their kisses.

Olivia felt her body flush as Elliot kissed her hungrily, and when he slid his tongue inside her mouth, she felt it in her core. Elliot was relentless against her mouth and she understood now how women were kissed senseless…were weak in the knees. A few more minutes of this and she was going to be begging him to take her to bed.

She wanted to run her hands down his body…feel the muscles in his chest and arms…touch him in all the ways she had longed to.

Olivia was pulled back to the reality of here and now when she felt Elliot's fingers gripping her shirt near her waist. His fingertips grazed her skin as he wrapped the material in his hand and she shuddered, her breath quickening. She knew now how explosive this could be…would be… if they truly allowed themselves to give in completely to the temptation that had been building over the years. No man had ever made her feel like this with just a few heated kisses. She wanted to fall…wanted to take…and be taken.

Olivia moaned into his mouth and she felt his fingers dig into her scalp and his body stiffen slightly. In the next moment, he was pulling away and she wanted to cry at the sudden loss of his mouth against hers.

"El." She rasped.

Elliot quickly dropped his hands from her head…let go of the grip on her shirt…and stared back at her. His eyes trailed down to her mouth. Her lips were red and swollen from his kisses. He took in her heavy breathing and her peaked nipples were poking through the thin material of her shirt…al evidence that told him she wanted him as much as he wanted her. But he also saw the bruise…the black eye. All stark reminders that this wasn't the time. He was taking advantage of her vulnerability right now, and he didn't want this to happen this way.

"Olivia." He whispered. "We can't."

Olivia could scarcely believe what she was hearing, and then the anger set in. She had been such an idiot, thinking he wanted the same things as her. Humiliation washed over her. She had invited him into her bed, and she thought that the subsequent hugs and hand-holding, had unleashed something for them. Had started something they had refused to acknowledge up to that point. But looking back on it now, she realized it was nothing more than comfort. One friend being there for another during a hard time.

And then she had kissed him. And he had kissed him back. But _Christ_ , he was a man after all. He'd given in briefly to the physical need…and she'd read too much into it.

Olivia took a few steps back, her embarrassment complete. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" She turned around and headed around the other side of the couch. The past 24 hours were catching up with her and she could feel the dam was about to break. And she was not about to break down in front of Elliot goddamned Stabler. "You should just go." She said, and she could already hear the crack in her voice. She made it into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

Elliot stood in the middle of the living room, wondering what the hell had just happened. One minute he was kissing Olivia and feeling on top of the world, and the next she had barricaded herself in her room. He had heard the bathroom door slam shut after her bedroom door, and he had no doubt she had locked herself in there.

He was such a fucking idiot. He had never been good with words. He had only meant to tell her that he didn't want this to happen right not, but she, being Olivia, had taken it as rejection. She was most certainly beating herself up right now for kissing him and he wanted to scream at the world that had made her believe she deserved so little. That made her thing she was so unlovable and undeserving.

He should have thought more carefully about his words before he said anything, but again, their inability to communicate complicated everything. Now he was torn about what to do. If she was upset, she wouldn't want him to see her, so his mind told him that he should leave her alone for a little while and give her some time to calm down. But his heart couldn't bear for her to sit in the other room and feel rejected when he was so close by and could let her know just how wrong she was.

His heart won.

He didn't even knock on her bedroom door. He opened with and walked right in, and saw immediately that she wasn't in the room, just as he had guessed. In two strides, he was at the bathroom door. He knocked quickly, but didn't stop to wait for a response. "Liv, I'm coming in."

When he walked through the doorway, he saw Olivia sitting on top of the closed toilet lid with her head in her hands. The second he was inside, she lifted her head, and he could see her tear streaked cheek. Her black eye looked horrible from the strain of crying and he felt like a grade A prick at causing her more pain.

"Get the hell out." Olivia said angry that he had barged in with no regard for her privacy.

"No." Elliot said calmly.

"I swear to God…" Olivia said trying to summon a threatening tone even though her voice still bore the trace of emotion.

"I'm not leaving until you hear what I have to say." Elliot said. There was no turning back now. He had to let her know how he felt and end all this uncertainty between them.

Olivia stood up and tried to push past him. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. She wanted to crawl in bed, pull up the covers and go to sleep. For a week if possible. But before she could get past him, he had wrapped a hand around her arm, stopping her in place.

"Stop."

Olivia looked down at his hand and then back up at him. "Get your hands off me." She said, the emotion gone from her voice now as her eyes narrowed and moved up to meet his.

Elliot didn't want to hold her against her will, but he didn't know how to make her listen to him. "Olivia." He said as he dropped his hand. "Just listen to me."

Olivia walked into her bedroom and pulled back the comforter. "Just go El." She was still feeling mortally embarrassed and she didn't honestly know how she was going to be able to face him going forward. She had thrown herself at him…

 _Christ._

How had her life gone to hell in such a short time?

"Olivia!" Elliot's voice was more demanding than he had intended. "Will you just stop for a minute and listen to me?" He didn't know how they had gone from kissing so passionately five minutes ago, to him yelling in her bedroom now. He tried to soften his tone a little…but still louder than he wanted so he made sure he had her attention.

Olivia didn't turn around, but she stopped moving, the blanket still grasped loosely in her hand.

Elliot didn't want to give her a chance to speak so he kept talking. "I shouldn't have…"

"You didn't do anything." Olivia interrupted. " _I_ kissed _you_. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was…"

"Christ Olivia. Just stop!" Elliot said in a frustrated tone.

Olivia turned around to face him now. "No, this is my fault. Can we just forget about it?" She knew it would be nearly impossible for her but she had to try to salvage their partnership.

"What?" Was she honestly sorry that she had kissed him? Now he was confused. "Is that what you want?" The minute the words were out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back. The look on her face changed, despite her best efforts to keep it neutral, and he had his confirmation.

Elliot took a step forward. "Liv." He looked back and forth at her and he could almost see her tense, in anticipation of what he was going to say. "I need you to listen to me." He said softly. He wanted to get closer, but he didn't want to spook her any more than he was probably already going to. "I'm glad you kissed me." He held out his hands, as if to keep her focused on his words. "We've both been ignoring this thing between us. I've been telling myself that I just needed some kind of indication that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you." He saw a break in her expression but before she could say anything…start denying…he risked taking another step closer. "But that's bullshit. I was just too afraid to tell you because even though I was pretty sure you felt the same thing, I didn't want to risk losing you. So I let us hang in this limbo."

Olivia's mouth opened slightly. She knew she should say something but she was mesmerized by Elliot's outpouring of emotion.

"You were the brave one." He sighed. "God Liv, when you kissed me…" He shook his head slightly and he could feel a small smile on his lips. "It was everything I ever wanted." He took a chance then and closed the gap between them. He took her hands in his and smiled as he looked down at their clasped hands. "It's all I want." He whispered. He lifted his gaze and met her eyes and he could see new tears brimming on her lower lashes. "I want you Olivia. All of you." He leaned in and kissed her lightly. "I love you." He kissed her again. "And I think you love me too."

Olivia stood and stared at him, trying to process what his words. Two minute ago, she had been beating herself up in the bathroom over her stupidity and now Elliot was standing in front of her, baring his heart and soul. _Elliot loves me._

Elliot squeezed her hands. "Tell me you love me." He prodded gently, still wearing a small smile on his face.

"I love you." She whispered.

Elliot broke into a grin then. His heart swelled. Those three little words were like music to his ears. He saw a few tears break free from the lower lashes in her right eye and he lifted one hand to swipe away her tears. "You have to stop crying." He said softly. "It breaks my heart."

"Then you need to stop talking." Olivia said, breaking into a small smile herself.

Elliot pulled her into an embrace and buried his face in her hair. Olivia slid her arms around his waist and let herself melt into his body.

She still wasn't sure exactly how they'd gotten to this point, but right now, she didn't care. She could scarcely believe they had made it to this point and she wasn't going to question it. There was something that was still bothering her though, and she pulled out of his embrace slightly to look back up at him. "So, when we were kissing, you pulled away. You told me you couldn't…"

Elliot slid his hands up her arms until he was cupping her face gently in his hands, mindful of her bruised cheek. "You ran off before I could finish." He looked back and forth between her eyes. "If you kept kissing me…if I kept kissing you…" He shook his head and took in a deep breath. "I wanted to lift you up and carry you in this bedroom…"

His voice was a low growl and Olivia could feel it hit her squarely in her lower body. "I wanted that too." She whispered, her embarrassment gone. He wasn't holding anything back, so she wasn't going to either. "I still want that."

"I do too. Of course I do." His lips brushed lightly over hers. "But we need to take this slow Liv."

"It's not going to be slow." She whispered against his mouth. She knew that once the fire was ignited, there would be no holding back.

Eliot grunted. He could feel the impact of her words on his body. _The things this woman did to him_. He knew he was in trouble. He pulled his mouth back slightly. "You're hurt. You're in the middle of a mess with Amy. Tucker. It's not the time. You need to heal."

"I'm fine."

Elliot wanted to laugh as she spewed out her famous line. "Olivia. Listen to me. I want you. _God, do I want you_. But that's not my first priority." His traitorous body was telling another story, but he was serious. "Let's take this slowly."

Olivia ran her hands up and pushed his arms aside, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth to hers. She kissed him deeply and she felt him acquiesce as he pulled her body up against his. His hands met in the small of her back and she pressed her hips against him, soliciting a small moan from him.

Elliot could feel her breasts pressing into his chest and he moaned against when she pushed her hips into his. He had dreamt about this for so long and his mind was fast forwarding to lying on the bed beneath him. He felt himself getting hard and he knew she must be able to feel him pressed against her. He raked one of his hands through her hair and she let out a small sound. It took him a second to realize that he'd snagged the stitches in her head and he stopped abruptly, pulling his mouth from hers.

"Liv. Oh God."

"It's ok." Olivia tried to pull his mouth back to hers, but Elliot held her by the shoulders.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about."

Olivia closed her eyes and let out a breath. She knew Elliot was right but the way he kissed her made her want to do all kinds of naughty things. "OK, we'll take it slow." She said, knowing he wasn't going to relent. She ran her hands up his chest. "But when I'm better…" She gave him a sly smile. "Well, I just hope you can keep up."


	13. Chapter 13

Elliot tucked Olivia into bed once again, and was thankful that this time, she didn't ask him to join her. He assumed she was showing him some mercy since his desire for her was still evident. But he'd like to think that maybe it was partly because she knew she wouldn't be able to exercise any self-control either. And right now, they both knew she needed to sleep.

He closed the door behind him, her words still pinging around in his brain.

"When I'm better, you'd better be able to keep up."

Her words and the tone of her voice had done nothing to calm things down south of the border, and he knew he was going to be very uncomfortable for a while. Olivia was nothing like any woman he'd ever been with before…all curves…and that dark skin…those long legs. With just a few kisses, she had ignited a deep ache within him, and he could tell she was going to be quite the seductress. He knew that if he was a smart man, he should be worried about her expectations and experiences, and if he could satisfy a woman like her. But confidence had never been a problem for him, and their chemistry was off the charts.

The only thing that was going to be a challenge was being patient.

He had been telling her the truth. He loved her, and it certainly wasn't all about sex. But there was only so much a man could take.

He heard his cell phone ringing and was thankful for the distraction. He heard Cragen's voice on the other end and spent the next several minutes getting an update from him. When he hung up, he sprawled on the couch. It was the middle of the evening, but their schedule was so messed up. He had no idea of Olivia was going to sleep through the night, or if she was going to wake up and need something to eat. He was too tired to run out there, so she was going to have to settle for take-out. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV, making sure the volume was low. He settled on an old comedy series, and felt himself nodding off.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up disoriented. She had to use the bathroom and her stomach was grumbling, but it was pitch black her room. Her door was closed, which was unusual, and she could see light coming through the crack at the bottom. She swiped at her eyes and winced in pain when her hand made contact with her left eye. Everything came rushing back to her, and she immediately wondered how Amy was doing. She reached for her phone, but then realized she had given it to Elliot in case there was an update while she was sleeping.

Elliot.

 _I love you. And I think you love me too._

She smiled, wincing at the stiffness in her cheek. When she had heard those words…it had been like a huge weight had been lifted. The guilt of her feelings for her partner had always been just beneath the surface; something she had to continue to push down again and again. As the years had gone on…as their experiences piled up on each other and their closeness grew…it had become harder and more time consuming.

Now, she was free from all that.

She wasn't naïve enough to think there wasn't a rough road ahead. No one said things would work between them. There was a lot at stake. But she wasn't going to worry about that first.

There were more pressing issues. Amy. Jason Logan. Tucker.

 _Fucking Tucker_.

Olivia swung her legs out of bed and sat on the edge, waiting for the dizziness to pass. She assumed this was a side effect of her concussion. But she also knew she hadn't eaten and was probably dehydrated too. She got up and used the bathroom as quietly as she could. While she was washing her hands, she looked at her face in the mirror. The swelling had gone down a bit, but the discoloration still made her look like she had gone ten rounds. How Tucker could think that Logan did this much damage in self-defense was crazy.

Olivia walked quietly out into the living room, and saw the TV was on, and Elliot was stretched out on the couch. He had one arm thrown above his head, and the other across his abdomen. It reminded her of the times she would find him asleep in the cribs. She would watch him then, until he invariably woke up. And then she'd pretend she had just walked into the cribs, even though she knew he probably didn't believe her.

Olivia walked a little closer to the couch, letting her eyes linger over his body. She had felt guilty doing this before, but now she felt like she had some kind of right.

 _He loved her_.

She smiled.

"Liv."

Olivia jumped when she heard him whisper her name, and she realized she'd been focused on the way his chest expanded as he breathed. Her eyes flew to his and she saw him watching her.

"You OK?" he asked.

Olivia could hear the grogginess in his voice and she felt back she woke him. She nodded and took a few steps closer, so she was standing right next to the couch. "I'm sorry I woke you."

He lifted the hand from over his head and propped himself up on his elbow at the same time he scrubbed his other hand over his face. "What time is it?"

Olivia sat down on the coffee table so she was more on his level. "2 AM."

"You got some sleep?"

Olivia nodded. "I would have slept better if you were next to me." She was flirting with Elliot, and it was such a strange feeling. She was glad the light in the room was dim because she was pretty sure she was blushing.

Elliot smiled at her words, and he could see her bite down on her bottom lip, a sure sign she was nervous. He decided not to call her out on her flirting. In fact, he hoped she did a lot more of it, because it was adorable.

Adorable.

A word he didn't normally apply to Olivia Benson.

"We both know that wouldn't have been a good idea." He said with a smile. He looked at her hands clasped in her lap and he reached over and placed his hands over hers. "Still tired?"

Olivia shrugged slightly. She was still a little tired but she felt like she was a little bit too wide awake to fall back asleep right now.

"Want to watch…" Elliot glanced over at the TV. " _Friends_ with me?"

Olivia broke out in a smile, knowing it wasn't something either one of them ever watched. "Are you sure there's room for me on that couch?"

Elliot tugged on her hands. "I'll make room." He let go of her completely and pushed himself back on the couch and moved more on his right side to make room for her.

Olivia looked at him lying there with a shit-eating grin on his face and she felt actual butterflies in her stomach…a feeling she'd never experienced before. This was the stuff of schoolgirl crushes and yet, it was all new to her. She had never felt like this before. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, and Elliot chuckled.

"Thought you weren't afraid of me." He teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes and stood up again. "I'm not." She turned around and sat down on the edge of the couch and the next thing she knew, she was lying stretched out next to Elliot. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and pulled her body flush against his, and she felt the solid wall of muscle behind her. Two seconds later, he slid his hand down to her abdomen and was wedging her ass between his hips and she bit down on her lip to keep from making a sound.

"Have enough room?" he asked. Elliot trailed his hand up her arm and over her shoulder, and brushed her hair back from her face.

Olivia could barely concentrate on his words. All her attention was on the feel of his body behind hers, and his hand trailing back down her arm. When he reached her elbow, he bent her arm and trailed his hand down to hers, trapping them both against her stomach.

Elliot couldn't believe Olivia was lying here next to him. He had lain in bed with her the night before, but tonight…this was different. He had told her that he loved her. She had kissed him. And at some point, hopefully in the not far too distant future, he would have the opportunity to make love to her.

"I've never seen this show." Olivia said, trying not to focus on the fact that Elliot's hand had slipped lower on her stomach again, and he was sliding it back and forth. "Are these people…"

"They're friends." Elliot said, totally mesmerized by how her muscles were contracting under his hand.

Olivia elbowed, thankful for the distraction. "I know that."

Elliot feigned injury. "That hurt." He said with a small chuckle. "And you asked." He settled his hand back on her stomach and felt her settle back against him again. He tried to focus on the show and not on the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. It would be so easy to slide his hand beneath her t-shirt and up the expanse of her stomach…cup her breasts. He wanted to feel the weight of them in his hands…slide his fingers over her nipples. He felt his dick twitch and he cursed under his breath.

Think pure thoughts. Think pure thoughts. That was his new mantra as he refocused his attention on the TV.

Olivia smiled, happy to know that this was as much of a struggle for him as it was for her. He was the one that had wanted to take it slow…

"So, are they like, related somehow?" Elliot asked, his voice husky.

"They're friends." Olivia said, snuggling against him and purposefully pressing her ass into him.

"Olivia." Elliot said, his tone a warning.

"I was just getting comfortable." She said innocently.

Elliot slid his hand down to her hip and pushed her forward just slightly. "Get some sleep."

Olivia smiled again, but found that she actually was incredibly sleepy. She closed her eyes and drifted off.

Elliot felt her breathing slow, and he was thankful she had gone to sleep. If she would have kept teasing him, he didn't know how long he would be able to resist her. She was definitely going to be the death of him. He slid his hand lightly back down to her stomach and covered her hand with his. He buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes, hoping he could fall back to sleep himself.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up and realized the only light in the room was from the TV. That damn Friends show was still on, so she had no idea if 10 minutes had passed or two hours. Elliot was snoring lightly nearly right in her ear, and she wondered if that's what had woken her. Or maybe it was his erection pressed against her ass.

She resisted the urge to press her butt back against him, but wondered how long she was going to be able to hold out. Now that the floodgates had opened…and touching was obviously not off-limits anymore…it was going to be hard to know what the boundaries were. Even right now, just lying here with her body pressed against his, she felt an ache between her legs.

Elliot shifted behind her and she held her breath, wondering if he was awake. But he settled again, taking a deep breath, and slid his hand down to the waistband of her leggings.

Olivia's breath hitched again, mentally wishing his hand would drop lower. But he settled at her waistband, but not before he slipped his fingers beneath her t-shirt. He splayed his hand against her abdomen and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Go back to sleep." Elliot said groggily.

Olivia smiled. She had been so focused on his hands and his body that she hadn't even noticed that his breathing had changed. She slid her hand beneath her shirt and placed it over his. "I'm not tired." She whispered. She moved his hand upwards with hers, taking her t-shirt with it.

"Olivia." Elliot said, but his voice was almost a moan. She guided his hand up until he bumped the underside of her breasts and then she pulled her hand away. He slid his hand up further, cupping her right breast in his hand, and now he did moan. He wrapped his fingers around her and massaged her breast and he earned a low moan from her. The sound of her voice, low and husky, went right to his groin, and he swore under his breath when she ground her ass against him. The next thing he knew, Olivia had moved her hand back on his outer thigh and she was arching her back slightly.

Olivia felt Elliot's thumb swipe over her nipple and she felt a rush of heat throughout her entire body. She arched her back again, and Elliot didn't disappoint. He slid his hand over to her other breast, and he pinched her nipple, causing another small moan to escape from her lips. He was moving his hand back and forth between her breasts, massaging them and tugging and teasing her nipples, and she could feel his erection pressed intimately against her. She could feel the wetness between her legs, and the pressure was already building in her lower belly. She wanted Elliot to tug her pants down and rip off her panties.

At that moment, Elliot's hand slid from her breasts, and she wanted to complain until she felt his hand slide down her stomach, back down towards her leggings.

"Yeeessss." She whispered.

Elliot stopped his downward motion and pressed his hand against her stomach, pushing his erection against her again. He buried his face in her hair, next to her ear, and let out a groan. "I'm not going to dry hump you here on the couch." He said, and the words were killing him.

"Take them off." Olivia said, practically begging. She reached for her own leggings, but Elliot wrapped his hand around her wrist.

"Not like this." Elliot hissed, even though every nerve in his body was screaming at him. He loved her…he had been waiting a long time to make love to her…and he a vision of how it should be. He had promised her, and himself, that they would take it slow. Ripping her pants off on the couch and fucking her was not how he wanted this to happen. Elliot swallowed hard and put his hand back on her hip, once again distancing her body slightly from his.

Olivia sighed heavily. She was aching for him…dripping wet. She wanted him between her legs and wasn't too happy about this maddening amount of willpower he was displaying.

"I had no idea that hidden behind that badass exterior was a such a seductress." He whispered in her ear, and Oliva shuddered. "Maybe _I_ should be afraid of _you_." He teased.

"Elliot." Olivia said. "We're not teenagers. There is no reason to wait."

"This is as hard for me as it is for you." Elliot said with a sigh. "But I already told you. This isn't going to happen like this…and not until you're better."

Olivia pulled her body from his until she almost fell off the couch. Elliot caught her and held her until she was settled back in place. He leaned in and whispered in her ear again. "It'll be worth the wait." He said, and he couldn't suppress a smile. He could only imagine her face right now.

"I'm going to hold you to that." She said finally, and he felt her relax against him again.

"So, are some of these friends dating?"


	14. Chapter 14

Olivia reached across the table and stabbed her fork into the hash browns on Elliot's plate. They had both been awake since 4AM, and decided it was probably a good idea to get out of the apartment before temptation reared its' ugly head again.

"Hey." He pretended to protest. Olivia had been stealing food off his plate for years. She wouldn't order fries or other fatty food for herself, but she counted on the fact that he would, and always stole a bite.

"I'm still hungry." Olivia said. "And I thought what's yours is mine."

"Not yet." Elliot said with a grin.

Olivia was so embarrassed. She hadn't meant it like that, and she wanted to kick herself. Elliot probably thought she already had him walking down the aisle. "I…I didn't mean…"

Elliot grinned. "I know." He pushed his plate across the table towards her. "And you know I'll give you anything you want." He winked at her, and smiled when he saw a pink tinge in her cheeks. Olivia as his partner was one thing, but this other side of Olivia…it was intriguing. So far, he'd seen a blushing, shy, woman, a flirt, and an outright temptress. She had kept all those parts of herself hidden well over the years.

Olivia pushed the plate back towards him, recovering from her embarrassment. "You know I never steal more than a bite." She said. "Have to watch my figure."

"I'm been doing that for you, and you have nothing to worry about." Elliot said.

Olivia felt her cheeks flush again, but she had to admit that this flirting was fun. She didn't normally enjoy flirting with guys, or appreciate comments about her body, but coming from Elliot, it felt good. "In that case…" She pulled the plate back towards her and stabbed another forkful of potatoes.

"Of course, if you get fat…" Elliot teased, leaning back against the bench of the booth.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You don't want to finish that sentence." She said with a small laugh.

Elliot leaned forward. "I'd still love you."

Olivia took another bite and smiled mischievously. "In that case…"

Elliot laughed again and watched her finish off the hash browns. He was just happy to see her eating, and it seemed like she was feeling better. He hadn't seen her wince while she was eating, and didn't seem to have a headache. There was no way she was going back to work today, so he knew she could rest again during the day while he was at work.

Olivia pushed the plate back before she could start in on the last piece of sausage on his plate. This was fun, and even though they'd eaten hundreds of meals together, this felt different. It was almost like a morning after kind of breakfast, even though they didn't have sex.

She would remedy that soon enough.

Elliot followed her gaze as her eyes swept around the diner. "Seems like everyone here is either coming home from the bar or eating breakfast after a late-night romp." He grinned when he saw her expression, knowing he'd just voiced what had been going on in her head. "I know you Benson."

Olivia raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips together, tilting her head slightly. "Oh yeah? You think so." She challenged, even though she knew he was right. Sometimes he knew her better than she knew herself. "What am I thinking right now?"

Elliot leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. He looked around and then turned back to face her. He dropped his voice slightly and gave her a small grin. "You're thinking that you wished we were here for the same reason."

Olivia felt herself blush again.

He had her there.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia leaned forward in her chair, listening to Amy, who sat across from her on the couch on Chloe's apartment. Amy hadn't slept well, and Olivia was questioning her decision to go back to Boston today.

"I've already missed one day of work. How long am I supposed to sit here in New York City?"

"Until we get something to put Jason behind bars." Olivia urged.

"I don't even remember what happened." Amy said.

"They looked through the tape at the hotel and found that Jason brought you back around 10 yesterday morning. After the police had left. He had to know they were gone. That couldn't have been a coincidence. So, he had to have you somewhere close by. Fin and Munch have been tracking down video from the area around the hotel to try to track where he came from."

Amy shook her head. "They already did that."

"No, they pulled security footage from the club and the street where we…" she wanted to choose her words carefully. "Where we ran into Jason. They lost his trail there, but now that we know he went back to the hotel, we need to check footage from that area."

"I don't care. It doesn't matter. He's smart. He's not going to stop."

"That's the point." Olivia said.

"He hasn't hurt me." Amy said. "And I don't think he will."

"He hit _me._ " Olivia said. "We know he's capable of physical violence." She wasn't looking for sympathy. She just wanted her friend to understand what they were dealing with.

"He thought he was protecting me."

"You're defending him?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"I'm not." Amy choked out with a sob. "I just don't know what else to do." Chloe was sitting next to her on the couch and she wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into her body, shooting Olivia a dirty look.

Olivia sat back in her chair and let out a sigh. She hadn't meant to be so hard on her friend. Maybe she was just too used to interrogating suspects. "I know." She said quietly. "Just give us one more day. Let us see what we can find and hopefully, we'll have enough to put him away."

Amy looked up from where her face had been buried in Chloe's shoulder. "Do you really think you can?"

Olivia didn't want to make any empty promises, but she saw the look of hope on Amy's face. "If anyone can find something, it's my squad."

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where's your partner?"

Elliot looked up and saw Tucker standing by Olivia's desk. He narrowed his eyes as Tucker rifled through the message slips on her desk.

"You know damn well she's on medical leave."

"Hmph." Tucker grunted. "She didn't look that bad to me."

Elliot gritted his teeth together, trying hard not to tell Tucker to go fuck himself. "She has a concussion. Jason Logan beat the hell out of her."

Tucker grunted again without saying a word. "So she says." He walked over to stand next to Elliot's desk and Elliot saw Fin stand up, as if ready for trouble. "I need to talk to her."

"About what?"

"You her commanding officer?" Tucker said in a snide tone. When Elliot didn't say anything, he added gave him a snarling grin. "I didn't think so."

"Just leave her alone. You know she didn't attack Logan." Elliot said, pushing himself out of his chair and standing tall. He glanced over at Fin and saw Fin was shaking his head, warning him not to get into it with Tucker.

"I don't know any such thing. Maybe she picked up some of your bad habits." Tucker said, not flinching at Elliot's posture or tone of voice…or his clenched fists at his sides.

"Olivia's a good cop." Elliot snapped. He couldn't stand anyone disparaging her character. Especially because she was nothing like him. She didn't resolve things with her fists. "And you know it."

Cragen picked that moment to walk back into the squad room, and it didn't take him long to spot Tucker and Elliot standing nearly toe to toe. He had as much disdain for Tucker as the rest of the squad, and he especially didn't like him going after Olivia.

"What the hell is going on here?" Cragen said, coming up to stand to the side of both men, facing them from the side.

Tucker and Elliot didn't break eye contact, despite Cragen's question.

Cragen put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "Stand down."

Elliot didn't move for a few seconds. He wanted to force Tucker to look away, and he almost wanted to smile when he finally did. A small victory.

Tucker turned towards Cragen. "I need to talk to Detective Benson." He said, following as Cragen headed towards his office.

Elliot resisted the urge to follow him. He knew neither Tucker or the Captain would let him be a part of the conversation. He trusted Cragen to protect Olivia. He had a soft spot for Olivia…they all did.

He turned and saw Fin wave him over. He wasn't in the mood to hear some kind of lecture about not engaging Tucker from his fellow detectives, but he saw Munch stand up too, which peaked his interest.

"What's up?" He'd gotten an update from Cragen the night before, and knew Fin and Munch and a few others were looking through hours of video. He assumed that if they had something, they would have told him when he came into the squad room. But he had only been there a few minutes when Tucker had shown up, and Fin and Munch had come in almost right behind him.

"We've managed to get footage from several security cameras in the vicinity of the hotel." Fin said.

"That's great!" said Elliot. Maybe they could get something on Logan after all. "Let me see it."

"Hold on." Said Munch. "There's bad news with the good news."

Elliot grumbled. "What?" He asked impatiently.

"We have him half walking, half carrying Amy about two blocks from the hotel."

"OK." Elliot said, nodding.

"And we have a tape from about 2 blocks down for the same time period."

Elliot kept nodding. "So?"

"So…Amy and Jason Logan aren't on that tape."

Elliot took that in for a moment. "So, they parked somewhere in that two-block area."

Munch nodded. "Yeah."

"So, we do we have the tapes from that two-block area?"

"Were working on it." Fin said with a sigh.

"They could have come from any side street. There are parking ramps and other hotels. We don't know which direction he came from. The only thing we know is when they showed up, and it was about halfway down the block."

"It's a lot of area to cover."

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face with frustration. But he knew they were doing the best they could. "I appreciate it. What can I do to help?"

Munch was about to speak when the door to Cragen's office opened and Tucker came out with Cragen right behind him. He stared at Elliot, but didn't say a word as he walked out of the squad room.

"Elliot, my office." Cragen said as he turned and walked back into his office.

Elliot watched Tucker leave, and then walked over to Cragen's office and closed the door behind him.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had felt her phone buzzing, but she was trying to focus her attention on Amy. She and Chloe has been talking to her, and Amy had finally agreed to take a few extra days off and stay in New York City, if her boss didn't have an issue with it. They had both listened in while Amy explained that she'd been attacked, and it didn't seem her boss had any issue with giving her a few days. Especially since she had been in the city for work.

Once they had that settled, Olivia excused herself and went to the bathroom. She pulled out her phone, expecting to see messages from Elliot or updates from Fin or Munch, but instead she saw several missed calls from an unknown number. She was just about to listen to the two voicemails when a text from Elliot did come through. She opened that first.

"Don't answer your phone. Fucker is looking for you." Olivia didn't like the contents of the message, but she couldn't help smiling at the intentional misspelling on Elliot's part. Olivia finished using the bathroom, but texted him back before she left the small sanctuary.

"Got it."

When she walked back into the living room, she saw that lunch had been delivered and Amy and Chloe were settled at the table. She saw that Amy looked a little better. She had some color in her cheeks and was talking to Chloe. She even gave Olivia a small smile when she pulled out a chair. Obviously, the decision to stay had made her feel a little better, and Olivia hoped her squad could provide the resolution her friend needed.

"We made a pact." Amy said, resting her hand on Olivia's arm.

"Oh?" Olivia asked.

"Yes." Amy said, a small smile gracing her face. "We're not going to talk about Jason, or anything that happened, for the rest of the afternoon." She said.

Olivia smiled. This was the Amy she knew. Miss Optimistic. Miss Glass Half Full. She could make the best out of any situation, mostly by pretending it didn't exist. But Olivia was fine with that. She was tired of the whole mess, and agreed it would be nice to not think about it for a few hours.

"Let's talk about your partner." Chloe said.

"What?" Olivia asked, finding she hadn't been paying attention.

"I asked what we should talk about." Chloe said, and it reminded me of our conversation about your partner on Saturday night." Chloe looked at her expectantly. "You remember. At the club."

"Elliot?" Olivia asked. Of course, they were talking about Elliot, but she was playing dumb as she tried to think of some way out of this conversation. It was barely 2-1/2 days since she'd been out with Amy and the squad, and had vehemently denied any type of relationship between her and her partner. And now, she'd had his tongue in her mouth and his hands on her breasts.

Amy was looking at her with a sly smile on her face. "You're blushing."

Olivia clapped her hands to her cheeks, and immediately knew that was the wrong move.

"You are!" Amy said enthusiastically.

"I'm not blushing." Olivia said, dropping her hands quickly. "It's just warm in here."

"Un-huh." Chloe said with a smile on her face. "Spill the beans."

"I already told Amy. Elliot is my partner, and nothing else."

"You're full of shit." Amy challenged her. "I told you that the other day."

They spent the next several minutes trying to pump her for information, but Olivia had regained her composure and managed to deflect any questions. They finally gave up and talk turned to other matters, mostly Chloe's on again, off again relationship with a midtown lawyer. When they had run out of conversation, they had moved into the living room, and lost themselves in a movie.

A few hours had passed and Olivia couldn't stifle her yawns any more. She had only slept intermittently on the couch with Elliot, and they had finally given up and gone to breakfast. "I have to go home." She said. "I can't stay awake." She looked at her watch and saw it was 3 in the afternoon. If she was lucky, she'd be able to get home and take a nap before Elliot got home.

 _Home_.

Maybe she _was_ walking them down the aisle; making presumptions she had no business making. She had no reason to believe Elliot would come to her place after work.

Well…maybe she did. She honestly couldn't imagine that he wouldn't. He was overprotective before he had any real right to be. And now…

"Olivia?"

Olivia turned to face Amy.

"Are you OK?" Amy asked. "You zoned out."

Olivia gave her a smile. "See how tired I am?" She leaned in and gave Amy a hug.

Chloe chimed in. "I have to go to work tomorrow." She said. "Can you…?"

"Sure, we can hang out tomorrow." Olivia said. She knew Chloe worried about Amy being alone, and Olivia knew she didn't have any plans of her own. "I'll call you in the morning."

Olivia said her last goodbyes and headed down the elevator of the apartment building. She checked her messages, and was thankful she didn't have any more missed calls from Tucker. But she was a little disappointed that she didn't have any texts from Elliot.

Olivia was so intent on looking down at her phone as she moved through the lobby, that she crashed into a flower delivery man. She practically bounced off him, and she let out a small cry. She was usually so aware of her surroundings, that it totally caught her by surprise.

"I'm so sorry…" she started to say as the young man reached down to grab the spilled bouquet from the floor.

But as he stood up, she saw that she was face to face with Jason Logan.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I had a really horrible, horrible day, so it was a good thing I had this written last night. I hope you enjoy and I'll try to get another chapter out soon.

EOEOEOEO

It was immediately apparent that Jason Logan was just as surprised to see Olivia as she was to see him. He stumbled backward as he stood up, dropping the flowers again.

"What are you doing here?" he sputtered as he finally stood, just a few feet from her.

"What am _I_ doing here?" Olivia asked. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"I came to check on Amy." He said indignantly, as if he had every right to be there.

"You stay away from her." Olivia said. She knew there was no restraining order…now way to force him to legally comply. She cursed under her breath because this was another time she didn't have her badge and gun. _Damn it._

"Or what? You're going to hit me again?" Jason said with a sneer in his voice.

That riled Olivia up, even though she knew she needed to stay calm. She wasn't afraid, even though deep down, she knew she probably should be. She had no idea what he was capable of. "You know I didn't hit you, you son-of-a-bitch." She hissed, taking a step closer to him. Her fists were clenched at her sides and she tried to look threatening without _actually_ threatening him.

Jason shook his head, unfazed by her words. "You can't prove anything. If you could, we wouldn't be standing here right now." Now it was he that took a step closer to Olivia and she froze, bracing herself for a punch or a push. "I was simply taking care of a friend." he hissed.

"Where did you take her?" Olivia asked in a whisper. Jason seemed cocky right now…maybe he would tell her his secrets since he obviously didn't view her as a threat.

"I brought her back to her hotel, so she could sleep it off. Before anything bad could happen to her."

"I'm a friend of hers. _I_ was taking her back to her hotel." Olivia argued. "You're so worried about people, but you didn't give a damn about leaving _me_ blacked out and defenseless on the street."

"You're nothing like Amy. Amy is sweet and naïve. She needs my protection. You…look at you." He motioned towards her, and swept his hand up and down.

Olivia wasn't quite sure what he meant, but she assumed he thought her unsavory in some way. She didn't have to wait long for him to supply an answer.

"You're a cop. Surrounded by rapists and perverts, day in and day out. Who does that, other than someone with a sick, twisted mind?" He ducked his head towards hers. "You enjoy that? Talking to men about their sick fantasies?" He whispered.

Olivia leaned back. He was getting too close.

"I put those men in prison." Olivia said darkly, unsure of why she was defending herself to Logan, but feeling the need to.

"I saw how you and your friends were dressed. How you were dancing in that club." He said, and there was agitation in his voice. "I know Amy didn't want to be there." He said angrily. "You dragged her there." He took another step towards Olivia, forcing her to take a step backwards.

Jason was really angry, and now Olivia was starting to wish she hadn't pushed him. She looked around the lobby of the apartment building, wishing another tenant would come in. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a security camera mounted on the corner of the lobby, pointed right at them. She knew then that this was being recorded…she hoped the camera was working…

She knew what she had to do now.

"You don't know shit about Amy." She said, stabbing a finger at him. "She likes to go out. She said she was happy that you were out of her life. She wanted to date other men…"

Jason took a step closer, and Olivia took another step back. "Shut up." He said menacingly.

"Sleep with other men." Olivia continued. She was still moving back, feeling behind her for the wall as Jason took small steps towards her, his entire attention focused on her face.

"Shut up." He said, his voice darker and angrier.

"She doesn't love you." Olivia said with a smile on her face.

"You whore. Shut the fuck up."

Olivia's back hit the wall and Jason stopped, a mere two feet away from her. His face was pure red, and she could see the rage in his eyes. He had completely lost control and she knew he was moments away from lashing out.

"She never loved you, you crazy, fucking son-of-a-bitch."

She braced herself for what she knew was coming. Jason lashed out, striking her with his fist in her already blackened eye. Olivia couldn't help but let out a howl. The pain was excruciating. Jason grabbed her upper arms and smashed her back against the wall. The back of her head bounced off the wall with the force of it, and her head started to swim Jason was yelling at her…an unintelligible string of swear words. She heard the word whore and bitch and crazy, but she couldn't focus with the pain.

She knew she was going to black out if her head hit the wall again, but it was too late. She was falling to the ground and Jason was falling with her. They were on the ground and he had his knees on either side of her thighs. He was agitated and disorganized, and his neck punch missed her completely, hitting her in the right shoulder. It hurt like hell, but the way he pulled back his hand let her know that it hurt his hand as well, and he howled as he cupped his right hand with his left.

"You fucking bitch!" he howled, spittle spraying from his mouth.

Olivia didn't wait another second. He had left himself in a vulnerable position and she brought her knee up hard, hitting him squarely in the balls. He let out an unearthly howl and fell to the side, cupping himself between his legs. Olivia scrambled to the side, setting off a wave of dizziness, and waved as he writhed on the floor. Her adrenaline was pumping and she was breathing heavily, but she couldn't do more than scramble a few feet away from him as he lay whimpering on the floor.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and hit Elliot's number on her speed dial. He answered on the first ring.

"El." She rasped into the phone.

In the next second, she saw a flash of movement, and say Jason had scrambled to his knees.

"Jason…" she said. She could hear Elliot yelling her name in the phone as Jason lunged at her again. Her phone went flying as he slapped it out of her hand, and she put her hands up in defense. He was still breathing heavily as he scrambled to his feet, and he still held one hand at his groin.

"This isn't over." He hissed.

And then he shuffled out the door.

Olivia let out a deep breath as she sunk back against the cold tile floor. She didn't know where her phone went, but she knew Elliot had heard the ruckus and was probably in full blown panic right now. No doubt he and 20 officers would be here any minute. She closed her eyes, lost in the pain.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot's heart dropped when he heard Olivia's voice on the other end of the phone. He could hear the distress in her voice and commotion in the background. And when she had uttered Jason's name, his blood froze. He had been up and out of his seat before the words were out of her mouth, motioning at Fin and Munch.

He was yelling into the phone, asking her where she was, and he heard Fin asking for a trace of her phone as all three of them raced out of the squad room. A minute later, the dispatcher was relaying her coordinate and they were pulling out of the parking lot. Elliot realized it was the same address they had dropped Amy off at before, and he hit the lights and siren on the sedan. It still took them 20 minutes to get there, which, in his mind, was 20 minutes too long.

They pulled up behind the ambulance, and they were out of the car in seconds. They flashed their badges, and Elliot led the charge into the building. He saw Olivia sprawled on the floor, with two EMT's flanking her on either side. He couldn't see her as they were attending her, and he didn't want to interfere, but he had to see her.

"Liv." He called, standing down by her feet. He saw her left eye was swollen shut again, and she had blood dripping from her nose. He could see the pain etched in her face as the EMT's checked her out and when she saw him, she closed her eyes.

Olivia hated for Elliot to see her like this again. She had baited Jason on purpose, but now, with the pain in her head and the nausea rolling through her body, she was second guessing her decision. And then the concern in Elliot's face…she hated that she had put him through this again.

She opened her eyes as she felt herself being lifted and she saw Elliot still standing by her feet. Once she was on the gurney, he was at her side, and he slid his hand over hers.

"Olivia." He whispered. "God, what happened?" His eyes scanned down her body, and he saw blood on her t-shirt. "Did Jason do this to you?"

"Sir, move out of the way." One of the EMT's pushed him out of the way as they tried to move towards the ambulance.

"Check the video." Olivia said.

"What?" Elliot didn't know what shew was referring to and he repeated himself. "What?"

Olivia lifted her head as they loaded her into the ambulance, despite the pain wracking her body. "The video." She said.

"I'll follow you to the hospital." Elliot yelled as they closed the ambulance doors and took off.

Fin and Munch walked up behind him, flanking him on either side. "Did she say anything?"

Elliot was torn between tearing after the ambulance and looking around the lobby. He knew there would be a short period of time when he wouldn't be able to see her, so he turned and walked back into the lobby of the apartment building. There were at least 6 uniformed officers in the small area, marking blood stains on the floor.

God, was that Olivia's blood or Jason's?

He saw Olivia's cell phone, resting against one of the far walls. He wanted to pick it up, but knew it was part of the crime scene. He wondered if she had recorded the altercation on her phone. He stood over it and Fin walked over.

"What did Liv say?"

"She said something about video." Elliot said.

"You think she recorded it on her phone?"

"I don't know."

"There's a security camera in the corner." Munch said, as he walked up to join them, overhearing the comments.

He pointed up at the ceiling, and they all looked up at the blinking light.

"That has to be it." Elliot said. "She knew they were being recorded." He said, in awe. "What the hell happened here tonight?" he asked, more to himself than anyone else.

"You go to the hospital." Munch said, slapping him on the shoulder. "Make sure she's OK. Fin and I will track down this security footage. Cross your fingers that this camera was even working."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot couldn't believe he was in the waiting room of the hospital again. Less than 48 hours than last time. The doctor was in with Olivia now, and he wasn't allowed in.

The only comfort he took was that she was conscious when he saw her. She didn't appear to have any broken bones. As awful as some new bruises would be, he was hopeful that those were the extent of her injuries.

It was a full 30 minutes before the nurse came out and told him he could come into the exam room. She explained that Olivia had to stay overnight for observation, and that he wasn't to agitate her. He had 15 minutes before they took her for a CT scan; the doctor was worried about the blow to her head, so soon after the last one. Then they would move her to a regular room.

When he walked in the room, he paused at the door. She had her eyes closed, there was an ice pack on her eye and dried blood still on her face. He watched her, breathing in…breathing out. He felt overwhelmed with emotion. They had both been hurt on the job before, him more than her, but this was different. They were different.

Elliot took a few steps into the room, trying to walk quietly so he didn't wake her.

"I'm not sleeping." Olivia said quietly. She could sense Elliot was there, even without opening her eyes. She still didn't open them as he crossed the room. her head hurt, and the light made it even worse. She turned her left hand palm up, and it was seconds before Elliot's fingers intertwined with hers.

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

Olivia didn't really feel like she had the strength to even talk about it. "Did you watch the video?"

"Fin is tracking it down."

"He was there. He was just there." She said, her voice still a whisper.

Elliot didn't interrupt. He wanted to let her tell the story in her own time. Her voice was groggy, and he wondered if they had given her something for pain.

"I asked what he was doing there." She relayed the rest of the story as best she could, but some of the details escaped her, and she felt incredibly tired. She hadn't finished telling him when the hospital aide came to take her for testing.

Elliot leaned over and lifted her hand, kissing it gently as they wheeled her away. "Rest. I'll see you in your room."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had been watching Olivia sleep for the past two hours, dozing off and on in the chair next to her. He heard the door open, and saw Fin motioning towards him. He glanced at Olivia, but she hadn't stirred. He followed Fin out to the lobby, and saw Cragen and Munch standing there.

"We've got him." John said. He proceeded to explain what they saw on the video, and it was clear that Jason had attacked her. "We can arrest him for assault."

"And Tucker will _have_ to drop the potential charges against Olivia." Cragen added.

"On top of that, we've just tracked down some more of the video from around Amy's hotel, so we still need to go through it, but we're hoping it'll show us something." Fin explained.

"So, we can get him for both." Munch said.

"You have Logan in custody?" Elliot asked anxiously. He had wanted a few minutes alone with Logan before, but now…

Cragen shifted on his feet. "Not yet."

"Goddamnit." Elliot yelled. "He's still out there?"

"We have uniforms on Amy's apartment 24/7." Cragen informed him.

"He's not going to show up back there." Elliot said in disgust.

"This guy ain't playing with a full deck." Fin said. "We think he might."

Elliot nodded. They were probably right. There was something off about Logan, and probably in his mind, he hadn't done anything wrong. "You don't think he'll come after Olivia, do you?"

"Olivia isn't his main target. She's not the one he wants." Cragen said. "So, I don't think so. But we'll keep uniform outside her room as a precaution."

"I'll be here too."

"I wouldn't have expected anything else."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

It was a long evening and a long night in the hospital. Nurses were in and out of the room. Olivia looked like hell, and felt even worse. She wanted to sleep, but couldn't. At least not for more than twenty minutes at a time. Elliot had tried to comfort her, then humor her, but now he just stayed out of the way, letting her know he was there if she needed anything.

He had started to close his eyes when his phone started buzzing. He rushed out of the room, not wanting to wake Olivia, who had finally fallen into a restless sleep. He answered it on the third ring, and heard Fin's voice on the other end.

"I think we got a lead on Logan." Fin said in a hushed tone.

"Yeah?' Elliot said, waiting to hear the details. "You picking him up?"

"Thought you might like to tag along." Fin said. "It's just me and Munch…."

Fin let that hang there, and Elliot knew what he was telling him. He hadn't notified anyone else of their lead.

Time for a little one-on-one with Logan.

"Tell me where you are."


	16. Chapter 16

Elliot pulled up to the spot that Fin had directed him to. When he got out of the car, he saw Fin and Munch standing on the sidewalk, and he could see the tension between them, despite the fact that neither one was saying a word.

"Where is he?" Elliot asked when they reached him.

Fin nodded his head down the street. "Apartment building about a half a block down."

Elliot looked around, assessing the area. "This is what? Two blocks from Amy's hotel."

Fin nodded.

"He has an apartment here?" Elliot asked. That didn't make any sense. Logan didn't live here in the city.

Munch spoke for the first time. "We checked on the property, and found there are two apartments in the building that are rentals. You know, places you can rent for a night or a few days instead of a hotel."

"And Jason Logan rented one?"

Munch nodded. "Yep. 3D." He let out a sigh. "We saw footage of Jason carrying an unconscious Amy into the building. No security cameras inside."

"Then we saw footage of him walking out with her that morning, just a few minutes before they showed back up at the hotel." Fin added.

"She was walking on her own?" Elliot asked.

"Not really." Said Fin. "Just like the doc said, she was drugged. Logan has his arm wrapped around her and she looks pretty out of it. If I saw them, I would just assume she was drunk."

"So, we think he snatched her off the street and brought her here. And then took her back to the hotel." Elliot said.

Munch shrugged. "Seems the most likely."

"But we have no idea why he brought her here, or what he did to her." Fin said.

"There's a good chance we'll never know." Munch said.

"Well, I know what he did to Olivia. He beat her. Twice. He left her lying on the street, bleeding and unconscious. Any prick could have…" It made his blood boil to think about it. He could see it in his mind, her sprawled out on the cold concrete.

"Tucker is going to look at that tape and say she provoked him." Munch said.

Elliot swung his head to look at him. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I'm just saying."

"He had no reason to even be there. He obviously surprised her. And she surprised him." He yelled. "You saw the tape. He pushed her back against the wall and smacked her." He snorted in disgust and shook his head. "Well, now it's his turn." Elliot started to move away from where Fin and Munch were standing, towards the apartment building. "He messed with the wrong person."

He turned when he felt a hand on his arm. "We need to call for backup." Munch said.

"Let the man do what he needs to do." Said Fin.

Now Elliot knew that the two of them had been arguing about how to handle Logan...about letting Elliot get a shot at him. But the fact that Munch hadn't already called it in was a good sign. He wasn't going to stop him.

"He hurt Olivia and you're just going to stand there and tell me that you don't want payback?" Elliot asked, steaming. He didn't wait for an answer…he started marching down the street.

"Of course I do!" Munch said loudly as he and Fin followed him. "But not like this."

Elliot had reached the door of the apartment building, but he didn't even slow down. He hit several buttons on the security panel, until someone finally buzzed him in. So much for security. He had counted on it.

He swung the door open and charged up the stairs with Fin and Munch in tow. When he got to the top of the stairs on the third floor, he looked left and right to determine which direction to go.

"Elliot, think about what you're doing." Munch said as he caught up with him.

"I am." Elliot said. He knew what he said was a lie. He was running on adrenaline and anger. He figured out he had to go to the right and headed in that direction, but not before he heard Munch say he was calling it in. He wasn't surprised, but he was a bit surprised that Fin hadn't said a word. He and Fin didn't often see eye-to-eye, but apparently he was all in on this.

The door to 3D was looming in front of him, and he hesitated for a second. It had to be something like 2 or 3AM right now, and he debated about kicking the door in. He didn't want to draw a crowd.

"What are you waiting for?" Fin asked.

Elliot took a step back, but Munch grabbed him around the arm hard, and pulled him back. "Don't do this." he hissed. "If you fuck him up, he's gonna get away with this." he said as Elliot strained to pull away from him. "How does that help Olivia? And Amy?"

Elliot stood in the hallway. He was breathing hard and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he tried to think about what Munch was saying. He had always dealt with things this way…his anger and rage boiling over when someone threatened or hurt someone he loved. He knew John was right, but his need to get vengeance was strong, pushing all rational thought to the side.

Before he knew it, Fin was pounding on the door and yelling Logan's name, and Elliot knew the element of surprise was gone.

"Goddamnit!" He cursed loudly. "What the hell are you doing?"

Fin shot him a dirty look. "Getting us inside."

Elliot simmered beside him, angry that suddenly Fin was on John's side. But he didn't have time to think about it because unbelievably, Logan had answered the door.

It was only open a fraction of an inch, but Elliot pushed his way in front of Fin and wedged his foot in the door. "You're under arrest you son-of-a-bitch. Let us in."

"What the hell for?" Logan answered.

"You assaulted by partner tonight. Again."

Logan shook his head. "She attacked me first."

"We have video, you dumbfuck." Fin said, pushing against the door. Logan stumbled back as the detectives pushed their way into the apartment with Munch right behind them.

Elliot could hear sirens in the distance. Logan had just regained his balance and was standing in the middle of a small living room area, but Elliot kept moving towards him. He opened his hand and wrapped it around Logan's throat and walked him backwards until his body and head hit the wall. Logan's eyes were wide in surprise, and Elliot saw him looking over at Fin and Munch, probably wondering why they weren't intervening.

Logan's hands went to Elliot's, and he dug his fingers in, trying to loosen his grip. "You can't…" he rasped out as Elliot lifted him up slightly, so only his toes were touching the ground.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Elliot said, his face red and contorted in anger. His face was mere inches from Logan's. "You fucked with the wrong person." He said. His voice was eerily calm, and he could see fear in Logan's face. He was still trying to pry Elliot's hands from his throat. "You're going away. For what you did to Amy. And what you did to my partner." He shook Logan slightly. "You hear me you cocksucker?" Logan's face was turning red now and he was gasping. Elliot could hear the sirens getting closer. "You're going to get everything you deserve." He leaned in even closer. "I'm going to make sure of it."

Elliot felt someone's hand on his arm, and he released Logan. He turned and saw Munch standing next to him as Logan slumped to the floor, gasping for air.

Logan had a hand at his throat and Elliot backed away, trying to calm himself.

When Logan had regained his breath. "I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to get away with this."

"With what?" said Munch, walking up next to Logan.

"He assaulted me." Logan said.

"I didn't see a damn thing." Fin said.

"I'm going to have bruises." Logan said, scrambling into a sitting position as the three detectives circled him. "That'll prove it."

"The only thing I saw was you resisting, and taking a swing at him." Fin said. "You're lucky he didn't do worse."

Logan had an incredulous look on his face. Munch pulled him up. "Jason Logan, you're under arrest for the assault of Olivia Benson and for the kidnapping of Amy Maddox." John pulled Logan's hands behind his back and put the cuffs on while he finished reading him his rights.

Elliot stepped away, leaning over slightly as he put his hands on his upper thighs. He needed to gain his composure before the uniforms and Cragen showed up.

He could still hear Logan complaining as he stood up and surveyed the apartment. Hopefully, it would hold the clues they needed to figure out what happened to Amy while she was here. It was seconds later that four uniformed cops stormed into the apartment, followed by Cragen.

The uniforms dragged Logan away, and Elliot could hear his complaints still spouting as they walked down the hall.

"Do I want to know what happened here?" Cragen asked. He hadn't seen any blood on Logan, so the situation was actually a lot better than he had suspected. "You shouldn't have come barging in here without backup." He reprimanded.

Elliot shook his head, not wanting to get into it right now.

"Logan opened the door Captain." Munch said. "And when we tried to arrest him, he resisted.

"Took a swing at Stabler." Fin added.

Elliot nodded. Their story was set, and he knew no one would argue with them or take Logan's side on this one.

"This is where he brought Amy?" Cragen asked, and Elliot knew that was the end of the discussion regarding how they barged in.

Munch nodded. "That's what the tapes showed."

"Then let's get out of the way and let CSU process this place."

"I'm going back to the hospital." Elliot said.

"We'll hold Logan in interrogation. Let him sweat until we have time to get some results from the techs." Cragen said.

Elliot looked at his watch and saw it was just a little after 3AM. He hoped Olivia was sleeping, and that she hadn't noticed he was gone. He thought about calling Amy and telling her Logan was in custody, but he didn't want to wake her. Morning would be fine.

Right now, his priority was Olivia.

EOEOEOEOEEO

Elliot had stopped at his apartment and taken a shower. He wanted some fresh clothes, and to collect himself a little after his altercation with Logan. By the time he got to the hospital, it was after 4AM, and he saw Olivia was awake.

"Where did you go?" she asked.

There was no alarm or accusation in her voice, just concern, and he felt bad if he had worried her.

"Getting used to having me by your side?" Elliot teased as he approached the bed.

"Nah. Just needed someone to spring me out of here."

Elliot smiled down at her as he brushed her hair lightly back from her forehead. "You're not going anywhere." He said.

Olivia sighed. "I just want to sleep in my own bed."

"I know." Elliot whispered, leaning over and brushing his lips lightly over the skin on her forehead. "But this is the best place for you right now."

He pulled back and looked down at her. It pained him to see her face even more black and blue than before. "How's the pain?"

"I'm fine. They gave me something." Olivia said. She reached up and snagged Elliot's hand. "When they do let me out of here…when I do get to go home…" her voice trailed off. "Will you stay with me?"

Elliot bit back a smile. He couldn't believe that Olivia was admitting she needed help, but he wasn't going to say anything. It was a big step for her. "Just try to keep me away."

Olivia smiled slightly and closed her eyes, squeezing his hand.

"We got Logan." Elliot whispered.

Olivia's eyes opened and she stared up at him.

"We found the place he took Amy. CSU is there now."

"Does Amy know?" she asked.

"Not yet. I'll call her later this morning."

Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "I'm afraid of what they're going to find."

"Try not to think about it." Elliot said.

"Did Logan say anything?"

Elliot stood up and shifted uncomfortably.

"What did you do?" Olivia asked, feeling a finger of dread run up her spine. She waited for him to answer, but she could probably guess.

"Nothing." Elliot said. In his mind, he hadn't done a fraction of what he had wanted to do, so he didn't feel the need to confess. He saw the look on her face…the concern…and the disappointment." "I didn't touch him."

Olivia considered him for a moment, trying to decide if he was telling her the truth. She decided to let it drop, because she knew she'd find out sooner or later. Right now, she was tired and her head hurt and she wanted to sleep some more. Olivia tugged his hand, pulling him closer to her. "Will you lie here with me?"

Elliot smiled. "I don't think there's any room for me."

"Are you afraid of me?" Olivia teased.

Elliot looked back at the door and then back at Olivia. "Move over."


	17. Chapter 17

_AN: Sorry, these chapters are a little shorter, but I wanted to keep the story moving along. We're closing the case soon, and of course, were moving closer to the epic love-making scene you're all waiting for. I'll have to hope I can live up to your expectations on that! Thanks for reading._

EOEOEOEOEO

Cragen got to the hospital about 7AM, with Tucker in tow. Tucker had been insistent on talking to both Elliot and Olivia, but there was no way he was going to let Tucker get to them without his being there. He told Tucker to stay put in the waiting room until he could make sure Olivia was awake and ready for company. For what was sure to be another interrogation.

He would like to tell Tucker to go screw himself, but he knew that Tucker wouldn't relent until he had questioned them both. Olivia about her second altercation with Logan, and Elliot about the new claims Logan was making about police brutality. It really pissed him off that Tucker had such a hard-on for the two best detectives in the unit, and he had told him so on the way over. It felt like Tucker was holding back…and he didn't divulge why he was convinced they were some kind of rogue cops.

Cragen pushed open the door to Olivia's room and poked his head inside. He stopped abruptly when he saw Elliot sprawled out in Olivia's bed, with Olivia curled up next him, her body half on top of his. Elliot had one arm wrapped around her, holding her close, and his right hand was resting on her hip. They both appeared to be sleeping soundly, and Cragen ducked back out of the room, shaking his head.

He had always known there was some kind of unspoken bond between these two…something that went beyond partnership…beyond friendship. He knew their relationship had changed over the years, and that they were close…perhaps too close. But he never really thought they had taken things any farther. He thought he would have known…would have noticed a shift in their behavior. Maybe he had been blind, accepting the small changes because they happened so gradually. Or maybe he hadn't wanted to see it, so he didn't have to do anything about it.

Now, he couldn't ignore it.

He was just glad Tucker hadn't seen them.

"What's taking so long?" Tucker asked, startling Cragen.

Cragen realized Tucker had snuck up behind him, and he was glad he had closed the door to Olivia's room. "She's still sleeping." Cragen said, turning away from the room and hoping Tucker would follow.

"Well, wake her up." Tucker said, moving to push the door open.

Cragen moved back to put himself between Tucker and the door. "Let me talk to the nurse first. You can't just wake her up and interrogate her. Have some respect."

"I'm not going to interrogate her." Tucker said with disdain in his voice. "I just need her side of the story."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Elliot was standing there, looking still half asleep. "What the hell is going on out here." He hissed in a loud whisper. "Olivia is sleeping!" He walked out of the room, forcing Cragen and Tucker to take a few steps backwards, and the door swung shut behind him. He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear the sleep from his head.

"That's fine." Tucker said. "I need to talk to you too."

"About what?" Elliot asked, still trying to keep his voice low, but still showing his disdain for the man from IAB.

"Keep playing dumb Stabler." Tucker said. "Let's go."

Cragen watched them walk down the hallway together, and then he knocked lightly on Olivia's door lightly. He heard her tell him to come in, and saw she was sitting up in bed. He gave her a smile as he looked at her bruised face; it killed him to see her hurt.

"How're ya' doin'?" he asked as he got closer.

Olivia shrugged. "I've been better." She gave him a small smile. "But I'm ready to go home."

"I'm sure." Cragen told her that Tucker was here, that he was questioning Elliot, and that he wanted to talk to her next. Olivia was ticked; Tucker would have seen the video and should have been able to see that Logan attacked _her_. Cragen assured her that he had seen it, and assumed that once she confirmed what happened, it would all be over and Tucker would drop any thought of charging her.

"If you don't feel like talking to him today…" Cragen started.

"It's fine." Olivia said. She wanted to get it over with. "But it's probably best if Elliot's not here."

Cragen couldn't disagree.

"Any update on Logan?" Olivia asked. "Has he admitted to kidnapping Amy?"

"We're waiting to talk to him until CSU is done processing the scene at the apartment he rented." Cragen wished he hadn't said anything. From what he had heard, it didn't sound good. But he wanted to have all the information so he had the entire story before he told Olivia. Or Amy.

Olivia nodded. She could hear the resignation in Cragen's voice, and she didn't know if she was ready to hear what he had to say. Before she could say anything, Cragen spoke up again.

"Liv…" He started, moving a little closer to the bed. "This morning, when I got here…"

Olivia tensed. _Shit. Shit. Shit_. When Elliot had climbed in bed with her, she knew it was risky. But she honestly hadn't thought anyone would show up this early in the morning. Had Cragen seen them curled up together? God, had Tucker? She wondered if she could get away with denial. But she held her tongue until she saw what Cragen was going to say, because she could see he was struggling.

Cragen shook his head. "We'll talk later."

Olivia didn't know who was more relieved, her or Cragen. But she was happy to let it go. It was moments later that Elliot pushed his way into the room, and Olivia looked up, expecting Tucker to be behind him. When he wasn't, she furrowed her brows.

"Where's Tucker?" she asked.

"Gone." Elliot said without elaborating.

Olivia was about to ask him more when the nurse came into the room.

"Out." She said, to Cragen and Elliot, making a shooing motion.

"Am I going home today?" Olivia asked.

Elliot smiled. He thought he was a bad patient, but Olivia was even worse.

"I would assume so."

"El.."

"Yeah." He had already told her he would go to her apartment and get some clothes. The ones she had been wearing had blood on them. He was going to take the opportunity to go to his apartment too. Take a shower, get some clean clothes for himself too. "I'll be back."

He walked out with Cragen and they talked as they made their way out of the hospital. "It doesn't look good Elliot." He said. "There was a camera in the bedroom. Long blonde hairs in the bed…"

"Shit." Elliot said.

"CSU is going through the photos. And there's video on the camera too." He stopped. "I'm going back to the precinct and will get an update but…"

"Let me know what it shows. I want to be the one to tell Olivia." Elliot said. "And Olivia's going to want to be the one to tell Amy what happened."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was back at the hospital about two hours later, and saw that Olivia was more than anxious to get moving.

"They are so slow…" she complained, almost the moment he walked through the door. "They said I'll be able to go today, but I have to wait for the doctor's orders to release me."

"I don't know why you're so anxious to get out of here. You know when you get home, you're going right back to bed." Elliot said.

"Is that some sort of invitation?" Olivia asked, a slight tease in her voice. She had been anxious to move things along, but damn Jason Logan kept interfering. This latest run in had set things back even farther, but she was happy that Elliot hadn't even thought twice when she had asked him to stay with her.

"I'm going to get you settled and then I'm going to run to the market and stock up on some groceries. I can't live on take-out and yogurt."

Olivia smiled. "Planning on staying for a while?" She was thrilled that his plans to stay with her seemed to be for more than just one night.

"I'll stay as long as you want me." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he saw Olivia's lips turn into a mischievous smile. She was obviously feeling better…or she wouldn't be having those thoughts.

"I want…" she dragged out the word. "you to stay for a while. I'm going to need help. Sleeping…showering…"

 _Jesus Christ._ Elliot knew he wouldn't be able to get the image of Olivia...naked and wet in the shower…out of his mind. Particularly because it wasn't the first time he had imagined that very thing.

"You've got a dirty mind Detective." He said, as he set her duffle bag on the bed.

Olivia smiled. "You have no idea." She pulled the duffle bag towards her. "Did you happen to grab some underwear for me?" she asked, giving him a small smile and a sideways glance and she saw Eliot flush slightly.

Elliot took in a deep breath, remembering his search in her room. When he had found her underwear drawer, he had tried hard not to look. He had meant to just grab a pair of underwear and slam the drawer closed, but the first thing he landed on was an impossibly small black thong. He had stood there staring at it as it dangled from his fingers. He wondered where and when she possibly wore them…and he wasn't happy at the thought that some other man may have seen her in them. He had opened the drawer and dropped them back in, and then stared down at the colorful assortment of items in the drawer. Lace and satin, thongs and other ridiculously small panties…nothing like the underwear he had seen on his wife. _Christ._

"Yeah, it's all in the bag." Elliot shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia was in the shower in her hospital room when a call came through from Cragen. Elliot listened as Cragen lay out the evidence they'd found. He let out a heavy sigh as he heard the details of the case they had against Logan. In one way, it was a relief that Logan was going away…that he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else again. But mostly, it was devastating.

He hung up as Olivia came out of the bathroom, and he quickly masked his expression. He was grateful that she was distracted, because she didn't notice. He would wait until they got home to talk to her.

Olivia walked up to him and he quickly opened his arms, pulling her tightly against him. Her hair was still wet, and even though her face looked horrible, she seemed to be feeling better. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, and he loved that she snuggled into his body. He would never have expected her to succumb to them…to this… so easily. He expected a tougher road…for her to fight it somehow. Maybe that would come later, but if anything, she was the one that was propelling them forward…more quickly than he would have ever imagined.

He couldn't believe that _he_ was the one that was showing restraint. All the times he had entertained fantasies of getting Olivia in a compromising position, he had been more than willing to comply. Of course, it helped that her bruised face was a constant reminder of their current situation…and he would never do anything to compromise her recovery.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Olivia asked.

Elliot released her and put his hands on her upper arms. He kissed her on the forehead. "Nothing but chaste thoughts."

Olivia let out a small laugh. "I'm feeling much better." She said.

Elliot gave her a small smile; his lips pressed together. He knew he was going to ruin her mood when he told her what CSU had found. "Let's get going."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia let out a sigh as she walked into her apartment. It was good to be home. She had called Amy on the way back, and told her that they had Logan in custody and were trying to get to the bottom of what happened. She unpacked her bag and changed into leggings and a t-shirt while Elliot made them some lunch. When they had eaten, Elliot leaned back on the end of the sofa, and motioned for Olivia to join him. She scooted between his legs, leaning her back against his chest, and he buried his face in her hair. He rested his right hand against her abdomen and she sighed as he moved the palm of his hand back and forth lightly. There was something soothing about it, and she felt content.

Olivia lay her head back against his shoulder, and he just held her. He wanted this to last forever…he didn't want to think about Logan…or think about what Logan had done to Amy. He wanted to protect her from any more ugliness, but he knew he couldn't.

"Mmmm." Olivia sighed. "It's nice to be home." She tangled her fingers with Elliot's and rested their intertwined fingers of their left hands in her lap. "With you."

"Sleepy?" Elliot asked.

"A little." Olivia admitted, surprising herself. She never really needed much sleep, but she was feeling tired. Probably because her sleep had been so disjointed.

"Take a nap…" Elliot said. He knew he was taking the easy way out, but he wanted to give her just a little longer to rest…to recover.

"Hmm." Olivia murmured. She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper against Elliot as she felt herself drift off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

_AN: I just want to provide a heads up that there is mention on rape in this chapter. It's not very detailed, but I don't want to cause anyone any trauma. It's about 1000 words in (slightly less), and is just a paragraph or so. I never think to mention it and I know I should. Thanks._

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot focused on Olivia's breathing as she slept against him. He pulled an afghan off the back of the couch, and covered her with it. She seemed to sense it, even though her breathing never changed, and clasped it to her body.

His need to protect her had always been strong, as it was with all the people he loved, but right now, he wanted to keep the world away from her. No more Tucker. No more Jason Logan.

But he knew there couldn't be any secrets. If this was going to work, they had to be honest with each other. Maybe for the first time in their entire partnership.

Their partnership…

He didn't know what was in store for them as partners once they became lovers, but that would be out of their hands once they revealed the change in their relationship. Then it would be in the hands of Cragen, the brass, the bureaucracy.

Maybe they could retire…run away. Be done with the sickos and the perverts…this goddamn city that took so much from them every day. He tried to envision them somewhere else. Anywhere else.

But he knew that was just a dream. They were both hard core New Yorkers, and they were both cops. They couldn't change who they were. And he couldn't forget that who they were, was what brought them together.

Elliot closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. "I love you." He whispered.

He realized he must have dozed off too when he heard her cry out. His eyes flew open, thinking that maybe he had accidentally bumped her head wound or one of her bruises. But she was still sound asleep. She cried out again, and she gripped the material of the afghan in her hands. It took him a few more seconds to realize she was having a bad dream…a nightmare…and he didn't know what to do. Olivia cried out again and one of her hands flew out. Elliot slid the hand that had been resting on her abdomen to her right hip and shook her lightly, while he wrapped his left hand around the hand clawing at some invisible threat.

"Liv." He said quietly. "Olivia." He heard her gasp and he said her name a little bit more loudly.

Olivia awoke suddenly, letting out a small scream as she felt arms and hands gripping her. "Let me go!" She tried to scramble away but she couldn't disentangle herself and she felt panic threaten to overtake her.

"Olivia! It's me. It's Elliot!" He said as tried to keep her from tumbling off the couch and hitting the coffee table. He was confused because it seemed like she was awake but she didn't seem to recognize him, or realize he wasn't attacking her. He pushed himself up off the couch and let go of her, but kept his body like a protective wall around her, so she wouldn't hurt herself.

"Olivia!" he yelled and she stopped moving, focusing her attention on him. He could tell she was awake now, but there was confusion in her eyes as she tried to sort out what was happening.

"You're OK." Elliot said. "It was just a dream." He continued to hold his arms out, repeating those last words quietly until she calmed down.

Olivia was nodding now. It was Elliot standing in front of her…not Jason Logan. She wasn't in any danger. "He was…it was…" She stumbled over her words, trying to make sense of the images in her dream.

"Shhh." Elliot sat down next to her, now that he knew she was fully awake. He pulled her body against his and wrapped his arms around her. "Logan is in jail. He can't hurt anyone ever again." He wasn't certain that was the man in Olivia's nightmare…there had certainly been a long string of potentially nightmare inducing perps in her past. But it didn't matter because he would make it his priority to protect her from all of them.

Olivia pulled away from him. "He's not going away." She said. "At least not for very long." She shook her head, her mind clear. "He'll get a few years for assault, but with no criminal record, he may not even serve any time."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "Liv. We got 'em. Remember, we found the apartment where we took Amy."

Olivia looked at him for a second. "Did you tell me that?" She remembered Elliot telling her that they had the video of Logan assaulting her, and that they had picked him up. But she couldn't remember him telling her about the apartment. The drugs they gave her for the pain were messing with her memory. She looked away trying hard to remember.

 _What did you do?_

Her own words popped back into her mind. Cragen had told her they were processing the apartment. Olivia turned back towards Elliot. "What did they find at Logan's?"

Elliot pressed his lips together. Olivia had just woken from a horrendous dream; he couldn't tell her about the nightmare they found in Logan's apartment. Elliot stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "We can talk later."

Olivia watched him walk away, and she knew he was keeping something from her. And that it had to be bad.

"Don't walk away from me." She said sternly, standing up herself.

Elliot stopped, but he didn't turn around. He hung his head in resignation, knowing she wasn't going to let it drop. She knew him too well, and she obviously knew he was withholding information. He turned his body and lifted his head slowly. "Please Liv…just…we can talk later."

Olivia saw the pain on his face and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my God." She whispered. "He raped her." When Elliot didn't answer her, she sunk down to the couch. "Oh. My. God." She whispered again. "I didn't think he actually…" She let out a sob then…just one. And then she swallowed hard. "Tell me…"

Elliot said, still rooted in place. He wanted to go over to her and comfort her, but he knew her well enough to know that it wasn't what she wanted right now.

"Tell. Me." Olivia said. "She's my friend and I need to know." She took in a deep breath.

Elliot sat down in the chair directly across from her. He scrubbed his hands over his head and then dropped his hands on his knees. He wasn't sure the best way to tell her about Amy's assault, but then decided there was no good way…it was all bad. "They found cameras. Cameras with video." Elliot took a deep breath. "He…laid her in the bed. He undressed her. He took photos…and video."

"But her exam didn't show signs of rape." Olivia said, trying to find a sliver of hope…

"It didn't show signs of trauma." Elliot corrected, knowing how hard this was for her to hear. "He took his time with her." He could still the see the video in his mind. Logan running his hands over her naked body…kissing her…touching her. "He kissed her. He used his hands to..penetrate her. He…I didn't see any video of him..." He didn't want to go into details, but they hadn't seen any video or proof of penile penetration.

Olivia's face was like stone…she was in full on cop mode. Maybe it was the only way to keep herself sane as she listened to Elliot's account of Logan's.

"He was talking to her, but we couldn't always make up what he was saying." It had been creepy to watch. Logan acted like it was a two-way conversation…acted as if Amy was spurring him on…wanted him to kiss her…touch her. "When he was…done…he laid with her for a while. Then he redressed her and took her back to the hotel." Elliot finished. He was feeling horrible for what had happened to Amy…and for how Olivia was feeling right now.

"Does she know what happened?" Olivia choked out, trying to control her voice. She couldn't imagine Amy hearing this from anyone else. Jason Logan was definitely

Elliot shook his head. "Cragen thought you might want to be there."

"Of course, I want to be there." Olivia pushed herself up from the couch. "Is she down at the station?"

Elliot shook his head. "They have the evidence they need to book Logan, so they didn't need to bring her down."

"Where is he now?" Olivia asked, a hard look on her face.

'I don't know." Elliot said, and he was telling her the truth. He assumed Logan had been processed through the system by now, and was sitting and waiting for arraignment. In fact, arraignment might be over, and he knew he should check with Cragen to make sure he hadn't gotten out on bail.

"I want to talk to him." Olivia said. Elliot may have felt a need to go after Logan, but this had happened to her…and to Amy. She wanted her ounce of flesh.

"We need to make Amy the priority right now." Elliot said, a little scared at how eerily calm she had become. He had been able to get Tucker off his back, when Fin and Munch had backed up his version of events. And he knew that now that they had arrested Logan and had all the evidence against him, Tucker would back off Olivia too. He didn't need want to give him any new ammunition.

Olivia looked up at him, a cold glint in her eye. "I wish you would have killed him."

Elliot was surprised, by her words and the tone of her voice. Olivia was always the voice of reason, not tolerating rapists' behavior, but not supportive of how he dealt with things. To hear her say those words was surprising, but he knew she was in shock. "Olivia." He said softly.

Olivia shook her head. "I do. I can't help it." She stood up, her entire body coiled, as if ready to fight.

Elliot couldn't keep his distance any longer. He walked over and placed his hands on her upper arms. "That isn't who you are."

"It is. I want him dead." Olivia said.

"No." Elliot whispered as he brushed her hair back from face. "Don't let him make you someone you're not."

Olivia didn't say another word, but she allowed Elliot to hold her. She was trying hard not to cry…she felt like she'd spent more time crying over the past few days than she had in the last ten years. But she was at the end of emotional rope. So much had happened…so much had changed.

She pulled herself together. "So…what? Amy is just sitting at Chloe's, and she has no idea what happened to her?" She couldn't believe she had been here sleeping and Amy had probably been agonizing over the fact that she had no idea what happened to her.

"Amy knows what you did…how you helped take Logan down." He had wanted to chastise her for the stunt she had pulled in the apartment lobby, but he wouldn't. She'd been through enough. "She knows we're going through the evidence and that it takes time." He knew CSU was still going through the info, trying to determine if it was uploaded or sent anywhere. He hesitated again.

"What?" Olivia asked, impatient now. "Stop holding back information."

Elliot sighed. "When they were talking to Logan…his lawyer is asking for a psych eval."

Olivia shook her head, her breathing coming in short gasps. "Are you fucking kidding me?" The thought that Logan could get away with all of this with some insanity defense."

Elliot took a step towards her but saw Olivia put her hands up, so he stopped. "Don't go there until we know something."

Olivia's lips parted as she shook her head slightly. "I can't believe this." She said quietly. She brushed her hair back from her face. "I need to see Amy." She said. She started to move around Elliot, looking for her shoes.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her bicep. "Hold on. Cragen wants me to call him before we go. He wants us to bring her down to the station…"

"I'm not going to tell her there." Olivia said.

"Let me call Cragen."

EOEOEOEOEO

It had been a long afternoon, and Elliot felt horrible for Amy and what she was going through. She had cried softly on Olivia's shoulder when she had told her at the apartment, and he could tell Olivia was beating herself up. They had been at the precinct for almost an hour now and Amy and Olivia were holed up in the conference room. Amy had insisted on watching the video, despite his suggestion that she didn't. He supposed if he was in her shoes, he would want to know now.

Elliot was waiting for them, his attention focused on the door to the room, when he heard Tucker's voice. He swiveled in his chair and saw the IAB Lieutenant striding into the squad room. He stopped by Elliot's desk. "I heard Benson's here."

Elliot narrowed his eyes, wondering how in the hell he knew that. "She's busy." He stood up, hating it when Tucker stood over him, oozing superiority.

"I can wait." Tucker started wandering over towards the conference room.

Elliot followed him. "We've arrested Logan for sexually assaulting Amy…and for assaulting Olivia."

Tucker spun around, a question on his face.

"We have video proof." Elliot said, taking a few steps towards Tucker.

Tucker was unimpressed. "One time."

"You son-of-a-bitch." Elliot got in Tucker's face. "You know she didn't hit Logan."

The door to the conference room opened and Cragen stepped out of the room, quickly closing the door behind him. Cragen's eyes moved back and forth between the two men and he paused, and then headed towards his office. Tucker sneered at Elliot, and then followed him.

"Asshole." Elliot muttered under his breath as Tucker disappeared. He turned back towards the conference room, but the door stayed closed. He scrubbed his hand over his face and he let out a heavy sigh. He wished all of this had never happened…

EOEOEOEOEO

It took Amy over an hour to collect herself. They both cried together until finally, Amy was cried out. She looked up at Olivia with tear-stained cheeks. "I just want to go home."

Olivia nodded. "I'm going to go with you. Stay with you a few days. OK?" Olivia didn't know if she was a horrible reminder of what had happened to her, but Olivia wasn't going to make the same mistake she'd made before. She wanted to be there to support her friend…get her into counseling…let her cry on her shoulder.

Amy shook her head and reached out, grasping Olivia's hand in her own. "I'd like that, but you don't have to. Chloe is coming with me."

"I want to."

Amy gave her a small nod. "OK. It'll take my mind off…" Amy swallowed hard and then started crying again.

Olivia sat down next to Amy and pulled her into her arms, letting her cry against her again. She knew there would be a lot of this, and she was glad she could be here for Amy.

When they emerged from the conference room almost 30 minutes later, Elliot was waiting there for them. Olivia saw him trying to read her, but she shook her head lightly. "I'm going to take Amy back to Chloe's." she said. She turned to Amy. "I have to talk to my Captain first." She knew she needed to tell him she was going to be out of the city for an uncertain amount of time.

"I want to leave." Amy said, on the verge of tears again.

Munch stood up. "We can take you." He said gently. "If that's OK."

Olivia looked at Amy and she nodded. Fin and Munch led the way out of the squad room, forming a protective shell around Amy. They were barely out of the squad room when Elliot moved closer to Olivia.

"Are you OK?" he whispered, itching to touch her, but knowing he couldn't.

"Not really." Olivia said. "Would you be?" She knew she sounded like a bitch, but she'd been through the emotional wringer.

"No. I just…"

"I'm going back to Boston with Amy." Olivia interrupted.

"What?" Elliot said. "I don't think that's a good idea." She was still black and blue. She was still recovering from her coma. He put a hand on her bicep. "Liv."

"It's not your decision." Olivia said sharply. She saw the concern on his face, and she sighed deeply. She softened her voice, and placed her hand over his. "It's just for a few days." Her eyes searched his. "It's the least I can do."

"We have a lot to talk about." Elliot said.

"I know. We can talk when I get back." Olivia tried to give him a small smile.

"You're coming back, right?" Elliot said, going for a joking tone and failing miserably. He knew this had taken it's toll on her, and he wondered if it was making her reassess her life.

"I'm coming back."

"Tucker's in Cragen's office." Elliot said. "We should get out of here."

"I need to talk to Cragen…" Olivia said, but Elliot was already ushering her out of the squad room.

"We can call him."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot sat on the edge of Olivia's bed as he watched her pack. "How long are you going to be gone?" It seemed like she was packing enough clothes for a few weeks, not a few days.

Olivia looked up at him as she stuffed some jeans into her bag. "I don't know El." She shrugged. "As long as she needs me."

"You have a job here." Elliot said, trying to gauge what she was thinking.

Olivia didn't look at him. She'd been thinking about that. This thing with Amy…she didn't know if she could do this anymore.

"You're a good cop Olivia." Elliot said. He hoped she wasn't still blaming herself for what happened, but he knew she probably was. She wouldn't be Olivia otherwise. "Never question that."

Olivia stopped packing. "I have to think about what I want." She said and she looked over at Elliot.

She walked over to where Elliot was sitting and she could see he was trying to hide the panic he was feeling inside. She put her hands on his shoulders and he widened his legs, accommodating her so she could stand between them. She slid her hands up his shoulders until she had one hand on each cheek. She tilted his head up slightly, forcing him to look at her. "I just need a few days. To help Amy. To think. To…just escape from everything that's happened." She gave him a small smile. "But I'm coming back." She leaned over and kissed him gently. When she pulled back, she still cradled his face in her hands. "The one thing I'm not questioning is you and me." She said softly. "OK?"

Elliot nodded as well as he could. "OK."

"Wait for me?" she asked.

"Forever."

 _AN: I'm so, so, sorry about this chapter. And for what happened to Amy. Anyone who knows me knows I don't ever want anything like that to happen to anyone, but they also know that my stories come out how they come out. I tried to rewrite it several times, but it was just what happened in this story. I'm sorry if that was traumatic for anyone. We're over the worst of things now, and on to happier times. i am really going to try to release another chapter tomorrow!_


	19. Chapter 19

Olivia had been in Boston with Amy for almost a week, and she couldn't believe how quickly the time had gone. Luckily, Amy had a two-bedroom apartment, and she and Chloe were able to stay with her. The first night, Amy had asked her to sleep with her in her king-sized bed, and it reminded Olivia of their college days. They lay awake talking for hours, neither of them able to sleep. It had been that way all week…talking until 2 or 3AM…sometimes all three of them piled in the bed…until they would finally succumb to the exhaustion they were feeling. They would sleep in, drink coffee and eat breakfast in their pajamas, and no one seemed to care if they ever got dressed those first few days. If it weren't for Olivia's bruises and Amy's nightmares, they could almost fool themselves into thinking it was a vacation…three college friends reuniting for a few days.

The second night spent lying awake was the night that Olivia confessed to kissing Elliot. She had wanted to try to distract Amy, and it had worked. Amy was giddy to see she knew it, and she wanted all the details. Olivia was happy to see Amy crack a smile, so she told her everything that had happened, including the make-out session on the couch.

" _And you didn't have sex?" Amy said, practically sitting up in the bed._

 _Olivia couldn't see her face in the dark, but she knew she was probably in disbelief. Olivia never had been shy about sex and didn't have much experience with men turning her down. "I know."_

" _That doesn't sound like any men I know." Amy said._

 _Olivia waited for Amy to breakdown…thoughts of what happened to her always looming in the background. But Amy seemed thoroughly distracted by what Olivia had told her. "He said he wanted to wait…until the timing was better."_

" _I need to get to know that man better. A lot better." Amy said. "Sounds like one-of-a-kind."_

" _He is." Olivia agreed. "Elliot is very much about doing the right thing. He's a pretty devout Catholic. He has a strong sense of honor."_

" _A Catholic boy?" Amy snorted. "Does the man have any idea what he's getting himself into? I swear, if you ever went to confession, there wouldn't be enough penitence for you." Amy said._

" _Those days are behind me." Olivia said quickly. "And yes, Elliot knows me better than anyone."_

Those words echoed in Olivia's head when she realized six days had gone by and she hadn't sent a single text message to Elliot, or called him even once. Of course, she hadn't heard from him either. But she knew that he was respecting boundaries…that he wouldn't want to intrude on her time with Amy. It was all about her at this point, and he wouldn't want to bother her or steal her attention away.

She felt horrible. She glanced over at the closed bedroom door. She could hear the shower running, and she glanced over and saw Chloe's door was still closed too. They had finally decided to venture out and catch lunch somewhere, finally tiring of the stale air of Amy's apartment. Olivia had showered first, and was ready and waiting for the other two.

Olivia pulled her phone out of her pocket, and tried to decide if she should call or text him. It had been almost a week…and a text seemed like a slap on the face. She opened the phone app, and found Elliot's number at the top of her favorites. Two seconds later, she had pushed the connect button and put the phone to her ear, butterflies creating a fluttery feeling in her stomach.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot had been almost unbearable these past few days and he knew it. He just couldn't seem to work himself out of it. He had finally left the squad room the day before, sick of dealing with everyone, and tired of looking at Olivia's empty desk. But now it was Saturday, and even though there were still people in the precinct, the emptiness made him feel even worse.

He had picked up his phone dozens of times since Olivia had left. He wanted to know how she was doing…if her bruises were fading and her headaches were gone. He wanted to know how Amy was…if Olivia had gotten her into counselling…if she was having nightmares. He wanted to tell her that he missed her…that Fin was a regular son-of-a-bitch to work with and he couldn't stand the sight of her empty desk. And the feeling of her in his arms. Even though it had been such a short time since he'd been able to kiss her and hold her…the loss of it was heart-wrenching.

Elliot looked across at her empty desk once again. "Fuck it." He muttered before he slammed the file on his desk closed. He started to push himself out of his chair when he saw his phone vibrating on his desk. His breath quickened when he saw Olivia's name on the caller ID, and he snatched the phone off the desk and answered it.

"Liv." He said.

"Hey." She said softly.

"How are you?" Elliot asked. "I wanted to call but…"

"I know. I appreciate that. And I'm sorry I didn't call you." Olivia apologized. She could hear the relief in his voice when he answered, and she knew she should have called him sooner.

"You sound tired." Elliot said. He had spent enough long days and nights with her to know what fatigue sounded like. "Are you having more nightmares?"

"No. Just…Amy's not sleeping well. So we're up late talking…" Olivia's voice trailed off again. She knew Elliot would love to hear that he had often been the topic of conversation. Amy had loved to pepper her with questions…and Olivia had blushed when Amy suggested he was probably an animal in bed. Olivia honestly had no idea. The man had been married most of his adult life…and she thought that married sex was probably pretty vanilla. She had definitely been more of the aggressor so far…but when Elliot had let himself go…

"Liv?"

Olivia realized her mind had wandered. "Sorry. So how is everything there? You playing nicely with others?" She knew that Elliot hated it when she was gone…and didn't like to partner with Fin or Munch.

"I resent that." Elliot said, a smile on his face. She knew him so well. "The guys miss you."

"I miss you too." Olivia said with a smile, reading between the lines. "Now that I'm talking to you, it seems like I've been gone a long time."

"You have." Elliot could probably tell her how many hours and minutes it had been. "Wh…" He stopped himself before he could ask when she was coming home. "What are you doing today?"

Olivia knew that wasn't what he was going to ask her, but she didn't have an answer to the question she thought he was going to ask. "We're leaving the apartment for the first time all week. We're going to lunch." She said, glancing back towards the closed bedroom doors. "In fact, I probably should get going." She wasn't used to talking to Elliot on the phone except for updates on a case or to let her know he was on the way to pick her up for a ride to a crime scene. They didn't have normal conversations like others did and she found she didn't know what to say.

"Yeah. OK. Thanks for checking in." Elliot said, disappointed that she was going to hang up. "Call me again…I mean…if you have time."

"I will." Olivia said. There was an awkward pause then. "Say hi to the guys for me, OK?"

"OK." Said Elliot as he tried desperately to think of something to say…something to keep her on the phone. "Liv…" he said her name quickly before she could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." He said.

Olivia looked up as Amy came out of her bedroom, starting at Olivia on the phone. She felt a blush creep into her cheeks as Amy raised an eyebrow at her, and she covered her mouth as she spoke into the phone. "I love you too." She whispered, and then she disconnected the call.

EOEOEOEOEO

"When's Liv coming back?" Fin grumbled after getting into another argument with Elliot. "I'm sick of dealing with your shit." He shook his head.

"Shut up." Elliot said.

"You're an even bigger asshole than usual when she's not around."

Cragen was sick of the grumbling and arguing in the squad room, and he agreed. He wanted to get Olivia back too. Even though she and Elliot got into trouble themselves, everyone was much better balanced when she was here. Especially Elliot.

"Everyone calm down. Olivia will be back soon."

"Can't be soon enough." Fin grumbled.

Elliot stood up and pushed his chair back so hard it tipped over. Cragen took a few steps closer, effectively standing between Elliot and Fin. He put his arm out towards Elliot. "Go cool off."

"Cap'n. He…"

"Get out of here." Cragen said, shaking his head. Olivia had been gone for nine days, and Elliot was coming undone. Elliot said he had spoken to her once, but he assumed it hadn't been anything recent, and he knew that if she didn't get in touch, he was going to have to call her. He needed to anyway. She had a lot of vacation time coming and he hadn't given her any grief about getting back anytime soon. But it couldn't be forever.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Hey."

Elliot turned when he heard Olivia's voice. There she was…standing just outside the door to the roof…and he scrubbed his hand over his face to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. When he opened his eyes, she was still there, and his eyes roamed over her face. Her bruises were almost gone…just a little yellowing around her eye. The cut looked almost healed. She looked tired, but absolutely fucking amazing.

Olivia watched the expression on Elliot's face. Disbelief followed by pure relief. He smiled then…a huge grin lighting up his face…and he was moving towards her. His movement spurred her from the spot she'd been rooted in, and she felt her feet moving towards him too. It was seconds before she fell into his embrace, and she buried her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh my God. You're here." Elliot mumbled into her hair as he took in the feeling of her in his arms. "You're here." He repeated.

"I was going to call you. I should have called you." Olivia started. "But I just decided to leave this morning and I thought it would be good to surprise you." In all honestly, she'd felt like a shit for not having been in touch again, and she wasn't sure how he would react if she called him now. She decided that maybe seeing her would ease his anger. Maybe it worked, because he didn't seem angry now.

"It's OK." He said. "Amy was your focus." He kissed the top of her head. "But I'm so glad you're here now."

Olivia flattened her palms against his chest and pushed slightly, wanting Elliot to loosen his grip on her so she could look up at him. Elliot let his arms fall to her waist, keeping her close but giving her some room. She smiled up at him, but before she could say anything, his lips were pressed against hers. She felt a tingle all the way down to her toes as he showed her just how much he had missed her.

Olivia tilted her head, opening her mouth to his, and she snaked her arms around his neck. She slipped her tongue inside his mouth and he let out a small sound as his tongue met hers. She felt his hand slide up her back until his fingers tangled in her hair. Then he was devouring her mouth, holding her head in place with the hand in her hair.

Olivia found herself wishing she had surprised him at home…it wasn't lost on her that they were on the roof at the precinct. Anyone could interrupt them at any moment. But she hadn't wanted to wait. Once she had hit the city limits, she had driven right here.

Elliot moaned into her mouth and the fingers of his left hand dug into the skin at her waist. The surprise of her showing up here…his immense relief at seeing her…was dwarfed now by the want coursing through him right now. He wanted…

Olivia broke the kiss, breathing heavily as she slid her hands down his chest. "We're…we have to…" She couldn't put together a coherent thought…her bruised lips and the feel of Elliot's body pressed against hers was too distracting.

Elliot loosened his hold on her, dropping his hand from her hair and letting his hand fall to her shoulder as his left hand dropped to her hip. "I know." He said quietly. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "You look good."

Olivia put a hand to her face. "Yeah, the bruises are pretty much gone."

Elliot wiped his thumb beneath her left eye. "I'm glad. I hated to see you hurt."

Olivia covered his hand with hers. "I know."

They spent the next few minutes catching up. Olivia talked about getting Amy into counseling, and how she was doing about as well as could be expected. Amy was anxious to get back to work suddenly, needing to get her life back to normal, and so Olivia had decided it was time to get back.

"I'm really sorry I didn't call." She said, taking a few steps away from Elliot and turning slightly. "It was just…"

"Hey." Elliot said, catching her hand as she started to move away from him. "This is all new to me too." He wrapped his arm around her waist as they both started walking slowly towards the door. "And it's OK. You're here now."

"Fin said you were a pain in the ass." Olivia teased. "I think he was almost happier to see me than you."

"Not a chance." Elliot said, tugging her into his side. "It's not the same when you're not here."

"I've had days off before…"

"Things are different now." Elliot said.

"Yeah." Olivia said quietly.

They had reached the door and they both stopped. There was so much left to say, but they knew they didn't have time.

"I'm not officially back to work for a few days still." She had asked Cragen if she could take a few more days and get settled. She wanted to start fresh on Monday. "Are you on a case? Are you going to be late tonight?"

Elliot raised his brows. "Are you saying you want to see me tonight?" he teased.

"I'm saying that you should take me out to dinner." Olivia said, giving him a small smile as she turned to face him again.

"Like a date?" Elliot asked. He absolutely wanted to take her out…he had already planned on doing just that when she got back. But he couldn't resist giving her a hard time.

"Is that a problem?"

Elliot shrugged. "I guess not." He leaned in and ghosted his lips over hers. "But only if you wear that black dress."

Olivia knew exactly what he was talking about…remembering the look on Elliot's face when she had held up that skimpy black dress that Amy had picked out for her. She never thought she'd wear it, but on the drive back to the city, she had been thinking about it. "I was already planning on it."


	20. Chapter 20

Olivia had left the precinct after checking in with Cragen, but he was still stuck at his desk. The woman was going to kill him…that little black dress and that wink she had given him as she left the squad room were all he could think about. It was getting to the point where he wasn't going to be able to stand up for fear of embarrassing himself. He looked at his watch for the 10th time in the last hour, and let out a sigh of frustration when he realized it was only a little after 2 in the afternoon.

"You got someplace you need to be?" Fin asked. "You've been banging on your desk and huffing around. _Christ_. I thought you'd calm down once Liv came back."

Elliot shot him a dark look. He hadn't realized how vocal he had been. "It's boring as hell around here." Before he knew it, he was pushing himself back from his desk, and heading towards Cragen's office. He had some vacation time of his own, and now seemed like as good a time as any to take some time off.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia let herself into her apartment and stood in the entryway. It was quiet…and dark…and she set the groceries she had picked up on to the counter. She let the duffle bag fall to the floor and she crossed the room, opening the blinds and a window to let some fresh air in the room. It was good to be home…to be in a familiar place. But she knew that from this point forward, her life would never be the same. The thought made her smile…and _that_ surprised the hell out of her.

She thought she should be scared…terrified that the life she knew…the track she'd been on for most of her adult life…was veering in a different direction.

But instead…for maybe the first time in her life…she welcomed change. She was looking forward to a new adventure. It was thrilling that she didn't know what was going to happen next.

When she had put her groceries away, she went into her room to unpack. She saw the bags on the floor…the things that Amy had purchased for her. She picked them up and sat down on the bed, holding them on her lap. It seemed like it was so long ago…the day Amy had shown up at the precinct. But it wasn't. She sat there for a few moments, her fingers gripping the bags tightly…and wished there was something she could do to change the events of that night. Maybe if she hadn't been able to go out…maybe if she hadn't had anything to drink…maybe if they had gone somewhere else…or left earlier.

She closed her eyes. Jason had been following them…following Amy. It wouldn't have mattered where they were, or where Amy was. It was going to happen. She had to keep reminding herself of those facts.

Jason Logan was going away for a long time. Too bad it hadn't happened before he had hurt her friend.

Olivia let out a sigh. It was done. They had to move on. She and Amy had talked about it the entire time she was there, and Olivia had agreed to go to counseling once Amy agreed to go. She would hold up her end of the bargain. She would. She was going to need it. To help navigate all the changes in her life. She had never been the best at communicating her feelings, but she had made a promise to Elliot, and to herself.

 _Elliot._

She smiled. She was really looking forward to going out with him tonight. She had dated lots of men, but she had never really been invested in any of them for years. When she was younger, even when she had just joined the force, she had been having fun, thinking she could fall in love, live a life different from her mothers. But then she and Elliot had become closer…too close…and she realized she was just as fucked up as so many others. Every date after that had been an attempt to forget that she was in love with a married man. Dating for dating's sake. To fill the time. To fulfill a sexual need. To pretend her life was normal. But no one could compare to the man that sat across from her every day.

Olivia pushed the bags onto the bed and started fishing through the items. Stuffed at the bottom of one bag was the little black dress. She stood up with the dress in her hand, and held it up to her body. She looked in the mirror, shocked to see that the dress looked even smaller than she remembered.

"I can't wear this." she mumbled to herself. She turned to the left and to the right, and then fingered the thin spaghetti straps. They weren't going to provide much support. She lifted the dress and looked at the deep scoop in the back. It was pretty deep…well down her lower back…there was no way she could wear a bra. She put her hand beneath the material…was it too sheer? _Christ_. She ducked her head down. No, it wasn't really sheer. She looked back in the mirror. She was going to have to try it on and then decide. She didn't want to disappoint Elliot, but she wasn't about to go to dinner half-naked.

She threw the dress on the bed, and ran her hand through her hair. She didn't know what to do with her hair, and she was glad her face was almost back to normal. The little bruising and cut could be covered with make-up. She let out a small laugh then. She couldn't believe she was standing here, slightly nervous about a date with Elliot. He had seen her at her absolute worse…so anything was better than that.

Still…tonight…she wasn't his partner. She wasn't his friend.

Tonight, the only thing she wanted him to see was a woman. She looked back at the dress on the bed. She didn't think that was going to be a problem.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot had called Olivia and told her that he would pick her up at 7. She had laughed, and he recognized the nervousness in her voice. He felt relieved, because for some reason, he was nervous too. It was stupid…he had known Olivia for years. They knew about as much as two people could know about one another without being lovers. He didn't know what he was nervous about.

He had already told her he loved her. That was the hard part.

And thank God, she had told him she felt the same.

Maybe it was because he was worried they wouldn't be able to relate to each other outside the job. What do you talk about on a date when you spend all your time at work? That topic was off-limits. He certainly didn't want to talk about any events of the last two weeks. An update on the kids would take ten minutes. Olivia didn't like sports, and he didn't know shit about art or literature or any of the thing she had grown up with. Their childhoods were something they certainly wouldn't talk about.

 _Jesus._

This is why he didn't date. He laughed. That wasn't the reason he didn't date. He didn't date because as soon as he was a free man, he had confessed, to himself at least, that he was in love with his partner. He scrubbed his hand over his face and fell back on the bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

This was _Olivia_.

They could talk about anything. Everything.

Maybe he was more worried about what would happen _after_ dinner. Elliot wasn't nervous about having sex with Olivia…when the time was right. The way their kisses ignited a fire in him, he had no doubt that their lovemaking would be spectacular. It felt natural with her…like she was made just for him. What he was worried about was his own restraint. Or lack thereof.

This afternoon, on the roof of the precinct, he had found himself hoping that she wouldn't stop him. Despite the location…the risk.

He was getting himself worked up just thinking about it. He pushed himself off the bed, and headed towards the bathroom. He needed a cold shower.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot pulled up in front of Olivia's apartment at 6:45. He knew he was too early, but he hadn't been able to sit around his apartment any longer. He climbed out of the car and slammed the door closed. He leaned with his hands against the roof of the car, and looked up at her apartment window. She had her blinds drawn, but he could see a shadow moving in her living room. He thought that probably meant she was ready, but he decided to wait anyway. He didn't want to barge in on her if she wasn't.

When it was just a few minutes before 7, he headed towards the door. He was almost there when he realized he had left the wine and flowers in the car. _Idiot_. He turned around and went back to the car, pulling out a bottle of red wine and a bouquet of Stargazer lilies and white roses from the car. He hesitated, wondering if she would think it's too much, but then he kicked the door shut. She would appreciate the effort, and probably think him a ridiculous romantic, but that was fine with him.

He shifted everything to his left hand so he could let himself into the building. The stairs were straight ahead, but he opted for the elevator, giving himself a few more minutes to calm his nerves.

 _Christ._ He needed to calm down. He was excited and nervous, and he couldn't stop grinning. This was finally happening.

When he got to the fourth floor, he headed down to Olivia's apartment, but before he could knock, the door opened in front of him.

Elliot nearly dropped the wine and the flowers, and his skin flushed as he took her in. She was standing in front of him, wearing that sexy black dress, and he could see nothing but curves, bronze skin and long legs. His eyes roamed down her body, and when they reached her spiky black heels, he trailed them back up until his eyes connected with hers. Her hair was in waves, her eyes were dark and smoky and her lips were perfectly glossed. She gave him a shy smile as he continued to stand there, and he sputtered out a hello.

Elliot blinked twice and swallowed hard. "You look…amazing." He wanted to kick himself. That word didn't even begin to describe how she looked.

"Thank you." She waited a beat. "Are those for me?" Olivia raised an eyebrow, happy that she'd had the desired effect on him. He had stood rooted in place, and that gave her a few moments to let her eyes roam as well. He was wearing black slacks and a stark white shirt, open at the collar. He was wearing a black jacket, and looked so sharp. He had gotten rid of his usual 5'o'clock shadow, and she thought he was the perfect mix of sexy and sweet…especially standing there with the flowers in his hand, that smile on his face and the slight flush in his cheeks. She wanted to devour him on the spot.

"Yes." Elliot handed her the flowers as he regained his composure. He strode into the apartment as Olivia stepped to the side, and she closed the door behind him. He stopped short when he saw the lights were on low, and candles were lit around the room. He could hear some music paying quietly, and he turned to face her. She was standing with her back to the door, holding the flowers in her hands and looking up at him through her darkened lashes.

"I thought maybe we could have a drink before we go." She brought the flowers to her nose and inhaled deeply.

Elliot stood in place, watching as she adopted an innocent look on her face.

He knew better than to believe that look. There was nothing innocent about her…with those long, bare legs and those pouty lips and that tousled hair.

Olivia brushed past him as she walked into the kitchen and he caught a whiff of her perfume.

"Sure, that sounds like a good idea." He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she filled the vase with water and placed the flowers in them. The sight of her bare back made him pause, and he had to work hard to resist the urge to move closer and run his fingers down the ridge of her spine. He realized there was no way she could be wearing a bra. He couldn't help wondering if she was wearing any underwear at all…the way the dress clung to her body.

She turned then, and he tried to avert his eyes from the deep V of cleavage that the low scoop neck of her dress revealed. The thin straps of her dress were straining with the weight of her breasts and he felt the arousal low in his belly. When he lifted his eyes, he saw a mischievous smile on her face. He knew she was happy that she was having the desired effect on him. But he had no one to blame but himself. He had asked her to wear that damned dress. He was somewhat surprised that she had.

"You look a little warm." Olivia said, moving a little closer to him. "Maybe you should take off your jacket." She slid her hands up his arms, feeling the hard muscle of his arms, until she reached his shoulders. Then she slid her fingers beneath the collar and started sliding it off his shoulders.

Elliot lifted his hands and placed them over hers. He pulled them off his shoulders, and lowered them until he was holding them in between their bodies. "You are trouble…" He said with a small smile. "With a capital T." He didn't know why he was surprised…this wasn't the first time she'd shown this side of herself, but it was still new to him.

"Just trying to make you comfortable." She said with a small pout, loving this game they were playing. Elliot could pretend that he didn't want her for as long as he liked…but she'd seen the way his eyes had devoured her and the flush in his body.

It would be fun to make him break.

She felt her body starting to react at the thought of all that animalistic power unleased and directed at her, and she had to turn away from him before she gave herself away.

"Let's open this wine." She gripped the bottle of wine in her hand and fumbled with the corkscrew as Elliot came up behind her.

Elliot knew she was toying with him, but two could play at that game. He moved in close, his body just inches from hers. "Let me help you." He said, his breath in her ear as he leaned over and took the corkscrew from her hand. He moved a little closer as he caged her against the counter, grasping the wine bottle in his left hand as he used his right hand to feed the corkscrew into the cork. He felt a sharp intake of breath as he pressed himself against her and he smiled.

Two points for him.

He was working the cork out of the bottle, and it was causing him to press gently against her. He hadn't intended it, and it was too much. He had to take a step back, leaving the bottle on the counter. "You should be able to get it from there."

 _Fuck._

This was getting out of hand. He wanted to control his baser thoughts. He had given himself a little pep talk on the way over. Dinner, discussion and then after that it would be up to her. But he hadn't expected her to direct all her sexual energy at him when he walked in the door. It was working though, because the only thing he could think about was pinning her against that counter and sliding that damn dress up her thighs.

 _Be strong. Take it slow_.

Olivia braced her arms on the counter, unable to think about how it had felt to have him pressed up against her, even if it was for a moment.

Elliot startled her when he set the two wine glasses down on the counter next to her.

"You OK?" he asked. His fingers rested lightly on her lower back, and he saw goosebumps break out against her skin as he trailed them lightly up her back.

"I'm fine." She said, her voice breathier than she intended. _Damn._

Elliot leaned in close, and he could feel her tense slightly. He whispered in her ear. "Liv…don't think I don't appreciate this attempt at seduction. Your damned hard to resist." He rested his open palms on her hips. "This act may work on other men…but I'm not like other men. I said I was taking you to dinner…and we're going to dinner."

Olivia felt a strange mixture of arousal…his hands were almost burning through her dress…and annoyance at the brush-off and his cocky attitude. She pushed back against him angrily. "That's pretty presumptuous Stabler. I wasn't…"

Before she could say anything else, Elliot spun her around and pressed his mouth against hers, silencing her. He pressed her body against the counter as he threaded his fingers through her hair, and he kissed her hungrily. He bit at her lips and sought out her tongue with his, and he felt her knees buckle slightly as he stole her breath away. When he finally released her mouth, he smiled down at her, still holding her with his arm.

"Consider that a preview of things to come…" His eyes dropped down to her lips, now devoid of lipstick. "But right now...we have someplace we need to be."

 _AN: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know everyone wants the loving. It is in the next chapter. I PROMISE. These two…they get in the way sometimes._


	21. Chapter 21

AN; This chapter is dedicated to all the patient people that waited and waited for this scene. I promised myself I wouldn't go to bed until this was posted, so it's going to be your fault when I'm tired at work on Monday! Just kidding. I wanted to get it done, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. This is always hardest for me to write. Special shout out to melonian4life (clingy_bernie).

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia looked around the Italian restaurant they were at, taking in the warm and inviting décor, and the rich, intoxicating smells. Her stomach rumbled, and she quickly looked over at Elliot to see if he had heard it. Annoyingly, he had.

He leaned in with a grin. "See, I told you we had to eat first."

Olivia felt her skin flush slightly. The fact that he had used the word _first_ wasn't lost on her.

He dropped his voice, and his tone was so low and deep, it was nearly a growl. "You're going to need your energy."

Olivia felt another rush of heat course through her body. It wasn't taking much to make her react to him; she had been pretty worked up by the time he had first knocked on her door.

When Elliot had walked into her apartment, she had clearly been in control. She had distracted him with the dress…teased him…and had intended to keep pushing him until she had him right where she wanted him. In bed, with her. But sometime between the time he walked in the door and now, control had shifted.

It was probably about the time he had knocked the wind out of her with that kiss in the kitchen.

She had tried to pout when he insisted they go out after that. But he had pushed her off-kilter with that kiss, and her attempt to get him to stay was ineffective. It was clear…she wasn't in charge anymore. So even though going out was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, he wouldn't be swayed.

When it was clear they weren't staying in, she had tried to collect herself. She needed to wrap her head around the change in plans. Well, change in _her_ plans at least. Apparently, Elliot had always planned on going out. Who knew the man had so much willpower? He didn't typically have that much control in anything he did. He was an act now, think later kind of guy. Except for now. It was downright annoying.

She had looked down at her dress, feeling woefully underdressed. The only reason she had worn this dress was to tempt Elliot. She had hoped it would be lying on her bedroom floor by now.

When she told him to wait while she changed, he had grabbed her arm, and told her in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen. He had let his eyes wander lazily over her body, grinned, and told her that the only person taking off that dress was going to be him. She had practically come from the hungry, possessive way he looked at her and the intent in his voice.

Since then, he had set the pace and the tone for the night. When they got into the into the cab, her short dress had ridden high on her thighs, and it was moments later that Elliot slid his hand up her bare thigh. He slid his fingers on the soft skin on the inside of her thighs and she broke out in goosebumps. Olivia had been silently begging for his fingers to slide higher, and it took all her restraint not to shift in the seat so they would.

When they had been pulled up in front of the restaurant, she'd had to pull herself together quickly and she cursed him once again for feeling as if he owed her a dinner before he took her to bed. She wanted to tell him that all the meals they'd had together over the past 7 years were more than enough. But he was tugging her hand and helping her out of the taxi, and she sighed in frustration.

"I called in quite a few favors to get this reservation." Elliot said. "So, stop pouting and enjoy it." He rested his hand on her lower back as he guided her towards the door, and she couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face. This was so strange. They spent 12-14 hours together a day…sometimes more…for over 7 years. It shouldn't seem strange to be here with him now. But it was, because it was a date. She and Elliot…on a date.

Now they were sitting here, in a small booth, making small talk and drinking some wine. Elliot had left quite a bit of space between them, telling her that he wanted to be able to look at her. He had his arm thrown lazily over the back of the booth, and while she was looking at the other patrons and perusing the menu, he was watching her. She could feel his heated gaze on her…and she looked up at him again.

"El…" She said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"What?" he said, plastering an innocent look on his face.

"You're staring." She said. She wasn't uncomfortable in her skin, or any stranger to compliments or comments on her appearance, but this was…Elliot.

"You're beautiful." He said. "I can't stop looking at you." He had looked at her almost every day for as long as he could remember, but as a cop, as his partner. Her stunning good looks hadn't escaped him, and there were many suspects, cops, and lawyers that reminded him of it often. But he had never given himself permission to think about her that way. Well…not much anyway.

And tonight. Everything seemed amplified. She was sex on heels. How he got lucky enough to have her fall for him was something he didn't want to dwell on, as if somehow, she'd wake up and rethink her choices.

"I just happen to look a little bit better than when I've been up for 36 hours, or when I'm chasing down a perp." Olivia said with a small smile.

"You captured the eye of every guy in here when we walked in." He wasn't surprised, and he knew it was chauvinistic, but his ego had swelled a little as he wrapped his arm around her waist, letting everyone know she was his. _Only his_. "You got quite a few dirty looks from their wives and girlfriends too…and maybe some appreciative looks from a few." He winked at her and watched as she rolled her eyes.

"Just stop staring at me." She said as she picked up the menu.

"No." Elliot said in a cocky tone. She needed to get used to him having his eyes on her, because he would never see her the same way again.

Olivia leaned forward, knowing full well the view he was getting. She smiled as she saw his eyes drop down to her breasts. Maybe she could gain control again. "You could have been copping more than an eyeful if we had stayed at the apartment like I suggested."

Elliot's eyes drifted lazily up her chest, to the smooth column of her neck, pausing momentarily on her lips, and then up to her eyes. He saw she had one of her eyebrows arched as she watched him. He leaned in and rested one of his forearms on the table. "I'm enjoying the hell out of the view right now. I'm not going to stop looking at you. And I not going to stop letting my imagination run wild thinking about all the things I want to do to you tonight."

Olivia sat back, swallowing thickly. The look he gave her was purely predatory. She had always known he was an alpha male, but he had never directed this sexual intensity at her. It made her want to give in, surrender…be taken. She let her eyes slowly trail over his chest and his arms, as the way the material of his shirt stretched over his muscles. Her eyes finally reached his and she could tell he was trying to figure out what she was thinking. "Is that a promise?" She wanted to say it with a challenge in her tone, but her throat was dry as her mind filled with images of Elliot with his hands on her…his mouth…

It came out as a whisper instead.

"You know me Liv. I'm a man of my word." Elliot gave her a knowing smile before he leaned back against the back of the booth again. He loved the look on her face right now. He was enjoying the hell out of this push and pull between them. This fight for control. Each of them were trying to throw each other off their game, and he wondered (not for the first time), what sex would be like with Olivia. He couldn't imagine that she would ever relinquish control, but when he had kissed her in the kitchen, he had felt her acquiescence. He thought it would be a beautiful thing to see Olivia lose control and he wondered if she'd cry out his name as she came.

He was going to find out.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The last two hours at dinner had done nothing to taper down her desire for her partner, and she had a nice low-grade buzz from the wine she'd had. She had seen Elliot watching her, undoubtedly making sure she didn't drink too much and make him feel as if she wasn't able to consent to whatever he had in mind for her tonight.

Even though she'd been the one to initiate things when he'd come to her apartment earlier, now that they were almost there, she felt nerves sliding down her spine. She had no idea what to expect when they walked through that door. With other men she brought home, it was for one reason only…the minute they had walked through the door, the clothes came off, they had sex, and she kicked them out. No expectations. She was clearly in charge. But this was Elliot.

God…this was _Elliot_.

 _She was about to have sex with Elliot._

At least she thought she was.

She ran a hand through her hair, wondering what had happened to the woman that had been trying to seduce him when he walked in the door. She wanted to control this situation...or did she?

She felt Elliot's hand on the bare skin of her back and she startled slightly. She let out a small laugh to try to cover it up as she started to slide her key into the lock on her door.

Elliot was surprised when he realized Olivia was nervous. She had been the one that come on strong when he'd arrived, but he knew this was a huge step for them. Maybe he had come on too strong…maybe he had scared her when he took control from her.

He placed his hand over Olivia's, stilling her efforts, and he braced his hand against the door next on her left, caging her body. He wasn't touching anything but her hand, but he felt her breath hitch.

"Liv." He whispered in her ear. "If you're not sure…" He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. It was going to kill him but he wasn't going to push her. "If you want to wait…I told you that you set the pace."

Olivia felt her nerves dissipate. Elliot was handing control back to her and the fact that he was willing to wait…willing to walk away tonight…made her love him even more. She straightened her back slightly, bumping into his chest, and pulled her hand from beneath his. She left the key dangling in the lock.

"Elliot." She said, her tone dark and demure. "You said you were a man of your word." She slid her body around so she was facing him, and she slid her hands around his waist, pressing her body against his. "And you said you were the one taking this dress off tonight." She looked up at him from beneath the fringe of dark lashes. "Are you breaking your promise to me?"

Elliot felt white hot heat flush through his body…the feel of her breasts pressed into his chest…the gravelly tone of her voice…and that fuck me look she'd just given him with her eyes…made all rational thought leave his mind.

Elliot pressed her up against the door, and there was no gentleness about it. He gripped her chin with his fingers and kissed her hard, slanting his mouth against hers and forcing her mouth open. Olivia moaned as his tongue swiped at hers, and he ran his right hand up the bare flesh on her left thigh, digging his fingers under the hem of her form fitting dress. She wanted the dress off…it was coming off.

Olivia slid her hand down his ass and tried to pull him closer, but Elliot broke the kiss.

"Fuck." He dropped his head to her shoulder, placing a kiss on the bare skin there. "I want to take this slow Liv." He rasped. "But I don't know…" A few heated kisses and the only thing he could think about was being inside of her.

Olivia slid one hand around the back of his neck and ran her tongue over the shell of her ear. "I don't want it slow." She whispered as she bit down lightly on his earlobe. "And we have all night." She heard Elliot stifle a groan as his hand went to the door, fumbling with the key as he tried to get the door open. She took the opportunity to brush her hand over his groin, and could feel his growing arousal. "Hurry." She moaned into his ear.

Elliot swore under his breath as Olivia placed open mouthed kisses down his neck and he turned the knob, barely catching Olivia as the door fell open. He had one arm wrapped around her waist as they stumbled into the apartment, and he kicked the door closed behind him and dropped the keys on the floor.

Olivia's back connected with the opposite wall and she slid her hands up, pulling his mouth to hers. She bit at his lips until he opened his mouth to her, and she slid her tongue into his mouth. Elliot took her hands and pinned them up against the wall near her head, taking control. He kissed her hungrily then, mumbling an apology into her mouth as the back of her head hit the wall.

Olivia was trying to keep up, but Elliot was relentless against her mouth. She pushed her arms against his hands…she wanted his hands on her body. Elliot kept her hands pinned, but released her mouth. He dropped his mouth to her neck, kissing his way to the pulse point beneath her ear. He sucked on her skin there and Olivia moaned loudly, feeling the wetness between her legs. The things this man did to her…

"God, El." She pushed against his hands again, but he didn't relent. "I want you to touch me." She said breathlessly. "Please." She couldn't believe she was begging already, but she knew it probably wasn't the last time.

Elliot let out a growl against her skin. He never thought he'd hear Olivia beg him for anything, and the sound of those words made him hard as granite. He released her arms then and he took a step back from her, watching as her knees buckled slightly with the loss of his body against hers. Her eyes were dark…darker than he'd ever seen them, and her lips were red and swollen. Her skin was flushed and her peaked nipples poked through the material of her dress. She was breathing heavily and the look she gave him…pure lust.

"El." She meant it as the start of a protest, but she saw the intensity in his eyes…the way he was struggling to breath…the way his hands were flexing at his side, and she knew he was fighting for control.

She didn't want control…she didn't want slow and gentle. She wanted him to take all his pent-up anger and frustration and channel it into his desire for her. She wanted him to pin her to the bed and take her. Pour all the wanting and waiting into fucking her.

"What are you waiting for?" She whispered. She knew she was pushing him to lose the fragile control he had, but she couldn't find it in herself to feel bad. She reached up to her shoulders, sliding her thumbs beneath the straps. "Do I have to take this dress off myself?" Olivia started to pull at the straps, and she watched Elliot's eyes drop to where she started to drag them down her shoulders.

"Stop." He said in a husky voice. He shook his head. "God, I want you so much." He was trying hard not to tear that dress off her body and fuck her up against the wall.

Olivia ran her tongue along her bottom lip, and let her eyes drop to the bulge in his pants. "I told you… I don't want gentle." She took a step towards him and ran her hands up his chest. She leaned in close and nipped at the skin on his neck. "I'm aching for you." She whispered.

Elliot felt something snap then...the full power of his lust tore through him. He reached down and scooped Olivia off her feet and charged towards the bedroom, barely registering Olivia's yell of surprise. He kicked open her bedroom door, thankful there was a low light on the nightstand. He got to the edge of the bed and dropped her on it. She let out another yelp of surprise but quickly recovered, trying to pull herself back on the bed. Elliot shrugged off his jacket and pulled his shirt out of his pants, but his eyes never left her. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, dropping it on the floor. He toed off his shoes and unbuckled his belt, and he watched as Olivia sat up and moved towards him on the edge of the bed.

He had dropped his pants when she reached for the waistband of his black boxer briefs. He put his hands on hers, and pulled her off the bed and up against him. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her head back slightly, dropping his mouth against hers again. Olivia slid her hands around his waist and raked her nails up his back, and he growled into her mouth at the pain. She smoothed her hands back down until she hooked her fingers into the waistband of his briefs.

Elliot broke the kiss and ran his hands down her arm until he wrapped his fingers around her biceps, pulling her back away from him. He swung her around and backed up until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He pulled Olivia closer, spreading his legs slightly so she was standing in between them. Elliot rested his hands at her waist and looked up at her. "This dress…" He shook his head. "Jesus Christ…this dress."

"Take it off." She rasped. When he had charged into the bedroom she had expected him to rip it from her body, but now…he was toying with her.

Elliot didn't say a word, but he ran his hands over her hips until he hit the bare skin of her thighs. He lifted one hand from her hip and ran it up her inner thigh, and Olivia dropped her head back and closed her eyes. She wanted him to touch her…to feel how wet she was. If he touched her, she didn't care if he took the damn dress off or not.

"I want _you_ to take if off." He said, and his tone was more of a command than a request. He pulled his hands off her then, and she lifted her head and opened her eyes.

"Goddamnit Elliot." Olivia swore, done with this foreplay.

"Take it off Olivia. I want to see you. All of you."

Olivia swallowed hard. The thought of Elliot tearing off her dress was one thing, but stripping down for him was another. But then she realized that the thought of it was suddenly quite erotic, and she took a few steps back, putting her out of reach.

"Lose the briefs." She said, and was surprised when Elliot complied. She swallowed hard when she saw his cock…long and thick…and she couldn't wait to get him between her legs. She couldn't stop looking at him…he was hard everywhere…and she felt herself shiver as she reached for the side zipper of her dress.

Elliot watched as she slid the zipper down slowly and he gritted his teeth together, knowing it would be a test of will to keep from touching her. Olivia reached for the straps of her dress, and started to slide them down her shoulders, but before her breasts were exposed, she turned on her heels, revealing her back to him. He saw the dress pool around her waist, and his eyes trailed down the ridge of her spine. He watched as she dug her thumbs into the material at her waist. Olivia bent over slightly, shimmying the tight dress over her hips, and he gripped his cock in an attempt to keep from coming at the erotic site before him. She was sliding the dress slowly over her ass, and he saw a small strip of a black lace thong.

 _Jesus Christ_. He let out a strangled sound as the dress dropped to the ground.

Olivia turned around with her hands crossed over her breasts and saw how the hungry look on Elliot's face. She dropped her hands then, and stood with only her black thong and her heels. She started to kick them off.

"No. Leave 'em on." Elliot let his eyes trail up her body…and she was absolute perfection. When his eyes met hers, he smiled. "You're so beautiful. God Liv."

Olivia smiled, feeling her cheeks color with the compliment. Men had told her she was beautiful…sexy. But this was Elliot. This was _Elliot_. It was like she was hearing it for the first time.

"Come here." He said thickly and watched as she walked over to him. The minute she reached him, he swung her around on the bed, and she scrambled up on the bed as he climbed up her body. He kissed her stomach and her muscles contracted. He put a knee between her legs and spread them as he kissed his way up her body. He let his hands travel over her rib cage until he reached her breasts. Elliot cupped her breasts, feeling the weight of them in his hands. He massaged them and ran his thumbs over her taut nipples and Olivia writhed beneath him. She let out a loud moan as he took one of her breasts in his mouth and he licked and teased her with this tongue and teeth.

Olivia lifted her hips, wanting more contact, and she felt Elliot push her legs apart farther. She was so far gone…her body was on fire…and if he kept this up…

Olivia started gasping. "I'm…" she gasped again but her orgasm tore through her before the words could leave her lips. Elliot kissed his way up her chest until his mouth was on hers and he drove his tongue into her mouth. He dropped his lower body against hers, fitting himself between her legs, and his erection was pressed against her core. There was just a single scrap of satin between them and he could feel himself penetrating her…she was so wet.

Elliot tore his mouth from hers. "I have to get inside of you." He rasped.

"God yes." Olivia urged him on. She lifted her hips, feeling his hardness at her entrance. She reached down, trying to get her underwear off but Elliot was pushing himself up. In the next second, the lace was in his hand and he was ripping it away from her body.

Olivia grabbed at his hips. "Pleeeaase." She begged, lifting her hips up to meet him.

Elliot reached down and slid his fingers through her folds…he knew she was wet but he didn't want to hurt her. "Christ." He muttered. He felt her body jolt as he ran his fingers over her clit. He wanted to explore her body…make her come for him against his hand and his mouth…but if he had to get inside of her now. He rested his body weight on his forearms as he pressed himself at her entrance.

"Liv." He rasped, looking down at her. She opened her eyes and looked into his, and he wanted to cry. He loved this woman so damned much. "Tell me yes." He whispered.

"Yes." She whispered, and she gasped as he drove into her…one deep thrust that lifted her hips off the bed. She felt her body trying to adjust to him…and then he pulled almost all the way out and fucked into her again, going just a little bit deeper.

Elliot dropped his head against her shoulder and groaned, pulling back one more time and thrusting in hard, forcing her legs even farther apart. He held himself in place though, feeling her walls clutching around him. She was so tight, and he couldn't move until he got some semblance of control.

Olivia couldn't believe how deep Elliot was inside of her. He reached down and wrapped his arm around her right thigh, lifting it up and opening her up even more, pushing for every last inch and she gasped as he started to move inside of her. She wrapped her legs around him, trying not to impale him with the heels of her shoes while she pressed her feet against his ass. She wrapped her arms around him and trailed her hands up and down his back as she arched her back into him. He was hitting her clit with each thrust, grunting hard as he fucked into her.

"Harder." She begged, loving the brute force between her legs.

Elliot didn't disappoint…driving harder and faster. Olivia had to grip the sheets on the bed as she tried to keep up. Their moans and groans were mixed together, a smattering of swear words and pleas to God thrown in. The room was filled with the sound of their bodies connecting over and over, and Olivia could feel her body starting to tremble…all her nerve endings were on fire. She had never been fucked like this before…had never let herself go like this before…and it was amazing and frightening…the effect this man had on her…on her body.

"Fuck Liv." Elliot was saying her name. "Oh God…" became his mantra as he slid his hand down between them. He ran his fingers over her clit and that was the end for her. Her orgasm tore through her body and she felt her walls clench around him. Elliot grunted as he released inside her, and Olivia felt the warmth of him as he kept coming…giving her everything he had.

Elliot buried his face in her shoulder as her body gripped at him with the aftershocks of her orgasm. He lifted his head, realizing how rough he'd been. He trailed his eyes up to hers and saw tears had trailed into her hairline. "Oh God. Are you OK? Did I hurt you?" He swiped at her tears and started to pull out of her.

Olivia wrapped her legs around him. "Don't you dare." She hissed, as she swiped at the tears. She tilted her head up towards him. "Kiss me."

Elliot kissed her gently. He wished he could have been more gentle…he wished he could have taken the time to explore her beautiful body…and he hoped to God he was going to get another chance. He wondered if he'd ever have any control or patience with her.

He brushed her hair back from her forehead. "Did I tell you how beautiful you are?"

"Yes." Olivia smiled. "Did I tell you how beautiful you are?" Olivia trailed her hand down his back. "A man your age shouldn't have such a hard body." She teased.

"A man my age?" He nuzzled her neck. "I'll show you what a man my age can do." He teased, nipping at the skin on her neck. He ran his left hand down to her breast and tweaked her nipple.

"God, I hope so." She smiled as she pulled him against her.


	22. Chapter 22

Elliot lay sprawled out across the bed, staring at the closed door of the bathroom Olivia had disappeared into a few minutes ago. He had been surprised when she had disentangled herself from his embrace and slid out of bed, and he called her on it. She had bitten right back, telling him to stop with the overreaction, and kept moving towards the bathroom. Apparently, there would be no basking in the afterglow. He let out a chuckle…Olivia always did things her own way. That feistiness was one of the things he loved about her.

He heard the toilet flush and he rolled over on his side and propped his head on his bent arm, waiting for her to emerge. He was disappointed when she opened the door, tying the sash of a short, white silk robe as she walked out into the bedroom.

"What?" Olivia asked, when she saw the look on his face.

"You're dressed."

Olivia looked down at her robe. "It's a robe." She said as she headed towards the bedroom door.

"Where are you going now?"

Olivia sighed in annoyance, but didn't stop. "To get a glass of water. Is that OK?" Honestly, the minute she had climbed out of bed he was asking her where she was going, and now the same question. Her apartment was only so big and she had no clothes on. Where did he possibly think she would go?

She reached into the refrigerator and nabbed a bottle of water. Leaning with her back to the counter, she opened it and took a long drink, thinking about all that had happened tonight. She could feel the ache between her legs, and she knew she would be sore tomorrow. Elliot had not been gentle, but she hadn't wanted him to be. It was exactly like she had always imagined…maybe better. She had wanted him so badly…she had been impatient with foreplay…ready for him after just a few kisses…a few touches. It seemed like Elliot felt the same way. He had told her as much, and she wondered if they would ever get to a point where they could take their time.

God, she hoped so. The body on that man was sinful. She hadn't been joking when she told him no man his age should be as rock hard as that. The funny thing was, she knew he went to the gym, but never enough to account for his build.

And he certainly didn't disappoint where it mattered. She had always assumed Elliot would be well-endowed. That cocky attitude of his…the role of alpha male he played…you had to have something to back that up. When guys were measuring up in the locker room, Elliot had to be the clear winner. She had slept with lots of men, but no one compared. He earned every bit of that swagger.

"Are you coming back to bed?"

Elliot's voice startled her and she almost dropped her bottle of water. Too much time spent living alone…she wasn't used to having someone else there.

"Jesus El." She said. "Don't sneak up on a person. Especially one that's trained in martial arts." She let her eyes slide down his bare chest, and she noticed that he had put his briefs on.

Elliot chuckled as he caged her body with his arms. "You think you can kick my ass?" he teased, placing a small kiss on the end of her nose.

Olivia placed an open hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly. "I could hurt you." She said, knowing it would be two seconds before he took her down. But with the element of surprise, she could inflict some pain.

"Promises. Promises." He teased. He placed his hands on her waist, lifted her up and deposited her on the counter.

Olivia was surprised. She wasn't a heavy person, but she certainly wasn't small, and he had lifted her as easily as one lifts a small child. It made her think of the thoughts he had interrupted…his ridiculous physique…his muscled arms…holding himself above her as he drove into her. She bit her bottom lip and pressed her thighs together.

Elliot was watching her. "Everything OK?" He raised one eyebrow and gave her a grin.

"Fine." She took a drink of water and set the bottle on the counter.

Elliot stood up slightly, letting his hands drop from the counter. He brushed her hair back from her face. "I thought you would come back to bed."

Olivia looked down at the bottle of water she was holding in her hand and fiddled with the cap. "I'm not much of a snuggler." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Elliot took a step back and leaned against the counter directly across from her, crossing his arms in front of him. This wasn't exactly the scene he had imagined after they had consummated their relationship. "What's going on?" he asked. He knew Olivia had a tendency to overanalyze things, and he could tell something was on her mind. He just didn't know what it was.

"Nothing's going on." Olivia continued to stare at her water bottle, picking at the label.

"Olivia." Elliot said in tone that let her know he wasn't buying her answer. "Talk to me." He waited a beat, but she didn't say anything. "Remember what we said. We need to be honest with each other." He started to feel a little panic in his stomach when she still didn't say anything. "You're not regretting…"

That got her attention and she looked up quickly, shaking her head. "Never." She whispered. She saw the doubt on Elliot's face, and she felt bad that she had made him feel like she was having second thoughts. "I'm just…we've become a cliché. Partners…having an affair."

"This isn't an affair." Elliot said forcefully.

"I didn't mean it like that." She said. "It's just…a lot of things are going to change."

"Yeah, they are. But in a good way. We talked about that." Elliot said.

Olivia nodded. "I know." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's just…well, now it's real."

Elliot knew what she meant. Until tonight, they could still be partners. They had admitted their feelings for each other, but that was really just a formality. They had known for a long time. But now they'd taken things to the next level. They had broken the boundaries that had defined them. They were in uncharted territory and it was hard for both of them because there wasn't a map to tell them how to proceed.

"It's real." Elliot said. "And we're both going to have to adjust to this new reality. Like, just as one example, you're going to have to learn how to relax and snuggle up in bed." He said in a teasing tone.

Olivia rolled her eyes a little. She appreciated his attempts at lightening things up. "Who said you could sleep here?" she said with a small smile on her face.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a small smirk. "Baby, who said anything about sleep?"

Olivia wrinkled her nose. "Baby?"

"I can't call you baby?" Elliot asked, knowing her well enough to know that nicknames like that probably wouldn't fly. He didn't even know why it came out of his mouth. He pushed himself off the counter and moved back to where she was standing. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her jaw, close to her left ear. "How about honey?" he whispered as he worked his way down her jaw with small kisses.

"No." Olivia said, as she dropped her head back slightly to give him better access. Elliot's hands were back on the counter now, keeping her in place.

"Sugar?" His lips dropped to her neck and he trailed his tongue down to the soft spot where her neck turned into her shoulder. He lifted his right hand off the counter and placed it on her left knee, sliding it up her smooth thigh until he toyed with the hem of her robe.

"No." Olivia rasped as she felt Elliot's hand slide up her thigh, pushing her robe with it. His thumb teasing the inside of her thigh and she shivered slightly.

Elliot placed gentle, open mouthed kisses along the exposed skin on her shoulder, peeling her robe back as he worked his way across her shoulder blade. "How about sweetheart?" He said, his voice low and gravelly as his lips whispered across her soft skin.

"Definitely not." Her voice was so quiet, he almost didn't hear her.

Elliot lifted his lips from her skin and pressed his mouth against hers gently. He dropped his other hand to her right thigh, mimicking his other hand as it slid up her silky thigh. "How about…" He said softly, before he drew her bottom lip between his.

Olivia opened her eyes and spread her legs slightly, feeling the burn in her lower belly already…and the man had barely touched her. She wanted…

"You can call me whatever you want, as long as you don't stop." She let out a low moan as she felt Elliot's fingers dance lightly over her wetness and she spread her legs even farther apart. She felt overwhelmed by the need for him to touch her. It was new and exhilarating and terrifying. This need for him was like nothing she'd ever felt before. She raked her hands over his head and down to the back of his neck and dug her short fingernails into the skin there as Elliot's hands left her thighs and tugged at the sash of her robe.

Elliot open the robe and slipped it off her shoulder, exposing her to him. In the dim light of the kitchen, he could get a better look at her and he stood up to let his eyes wander over her. Her hair was tousled and her mascara was smudged from their earlier encounter, and her skin was slightly flushed from the way he'd been kissing her…touching her. His eyes trailed down to her bare skin, smooth and dark. She looked exotic sitting with her full breasts taut with desire, her legs spread slightly, and the white silk robe pooled around her hips.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered and she gave him a small, seductive smile.

"C'mere." She whispered, lifting a hand and beckoning him with her finger.

Elliot was happy to oblige, and he stepped closer and let her wrap her arms around his neck as she spread her legs to accommodate him. His hand slid down the bare skin of her back, and he slid them over her ass and pulled her against him. Her heard her moan into his mouth as he kissed her, and his cock twitched at the sound, pressed intimately against her through the cotton of his briefs. He slid his hands back up, sliding his fingertips up the ridge of her spine.

Olivia shivered again, and she wondered how she could feel so much heat and be shivering at the same time. His fingers danced and skipped over her skin, as if he was memorizing every part of her…and she knew maybe he was.

Elliot's mouth left hers and she dropped her arms behind her, bracing herself as she dropped her head back. He kissed his way down her chest, taking a few moments to tease her breasts with his tongue. But his hands dropped to her thighs, and as he kissed his way down her abdomen, his intended target was clear. She felt him push against her inner thighs, trying to spread her thighs wider, and she sat up, placing her hands over his.

"El…" She pushed against his head. She wasn't a prude…she enjoyed the feel of a man's mouth against her, but for some reason, it seemed too much…too intimate. Elliot looked up at her, a mischievous smile on his face.

"I want to taste you."

The words sent a rush of heat through her body and she didn't know why she had even said anything. Her body was his…she gladly gave herself over to him just as he did to her, and she didn't resist when he pushed her gently backwards, lowering her back to the counter.

Olivia moaned as he slid his tongue through her folds, and it was seconds later that she felt his fingers pressing against the inside of her thighs. His tongue, his teeth, his fingers…they all mixed together and she was gasping as he brought her to the edge. Then he backed off…starting again…teasing her over and over until she thought she was going to scream. He finally slid two fingers inside of her, twisting and turning, in and out, and when his mouth closed over her clit, she was lost. Her hips came up off the counter and she was grasping at air as she cried out as waves of pleasure coursed through her. Elliot held her…keeping her from sliding off the counter as she writhed beneath his touch.

When she started to recover, she relaxed against the counter, completely sated. She was feeling incredibly tired now…her muscles loose…and she had no strength. Elliot stood up and was holding her legs, and she couldn't find any energy to sit up. When she opened her eyes and turned her head lazily to look at Elliot, she saw a huge grin on his face.

"Hey beautiful." He said and she gave him a lazy smile.

Elliot leaned over and slid one hand beneath her back, lifting her up into a sitting position. He realized he was supporting most of her weight as she lolled against him, and he smiled that this was all because of him.

He kissed her gently, and Olivia could taste herself on him. It was shocking and erotic and confusing…she still didn't know how she had ended up here…having sex with Elliot. She almost expected to wake up and find this was all a dream.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. She pulled her lips from his and looked into his eyes. "Elliot." She whispered. "Take me to bed."

Elliot smiled…happy to oblige.


	23. Chapter 23

AN: Well, what a day! Chriska selfies galore and an ecstatically happy fandom. Unfortunately, this is not Chriska, but Bensler is almost as good!

EOEOEOEO

Elliot leaned against the doorframe of Olivia's bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as she slid a pair of jeans over her hips.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along tonight?" he asked. Amy was back in town, and he knew it was ridiculous, but he was worried about the two of them going out.

"It's just dinner El." Olivia said, giving him a sideways glance as she pulled a tank top over her head and pulled it down over her stomach. "Besides, we've spent every minute together for the past three weeks." It had been wonderful to spend so much time with Elliot, but Amy was back in town for work, and she was anxious to see her.

"I know." Elliot sighed. Olivia was right. They had been inseparable, and he was amazed at how much he was learning about her. With every passing day, she was letting her guard down…letting him see more and more of her with each day that passed. That tough exterior she worked so hard to maintain was falling away, and he felt like he was getting to know her all over again. They spent hours talking about their hopes and dreams, the things that scared them, and personal glimpses into their early lives…the things that shaped them into the people they were today. Olivia told him stories about her childhood that made him ache for her…made him feel even more protective of the little girl inside her that just wanted to feel unconditional love.

He did his best to show her that she could trust him.

Her openness made him feel like he could tell her things…and everything they shared had made them closer than he could ever have imagined.

Of course, not all their time was spent talking…they also got to know each other better in other ways. Elliot found out that despite her initial unease that first night in the kitchen, Olivia wasn't shy about sex. She was very adventurous in bed. And in the shower. And on the couch. He was pretty sure they'd had sex on almost every surface of her apartment, and even though they had sex dozens of times, he still found it hard to go slow. They fell into a deep sleep every night, exhausted…but sated. The marks of their love-making evident on their bodies.

Olivia had learned to sleep with someone in her bed, and she never hesitated curling up against him, falling asleep with his body wrapped around hers.

He also found out that Olivia had a dizzying array of lingerie…black and red and blue…satin and lace…and the fact that she'd been sitting across from him for the past seven years wearing that beneath her clothes made his head spin. It had been tough enough not to let his mind wander towards fantasy, especially in the last year or so, and he was thankful he hadn't known.

"We'll be fine. We're not going to a bar. I'm not even going to have a drink." Olivia said. There was a part of her that still felt responsible for what had happened to Amy and she hadn't had anything to drink since then except for wine at dinner on her first date with Elliot. "And I promise I'll call you when I get back to Amy's hotel." Olivia pulled a lightweight, cinnamon colored, V-neck sweater over her head and turned back towards the bed, zipping up her duffle back.

Elliot pushed himself off the door and let his arms drop as he walked over to where she was standing. He tugged her gently towards him and Olivia turned back to face him. Elliot cupped her face in his hands, and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep without you."

Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes. "Have a few beers at the poker game and you'll be fine." Elliot had begrudgingly agreed to play poker with some of his old neighborhood buddies…they had been bugging him to get back in the game for months. She placed a hand on his chest. "Just crash at Dave's." She had met some of Elliot's friends over the years, and had heard stories about these poker games…the drinking, the take-out and the dirty jokes. Olivia pushed herself up on her toes and let her right hand slide around his neck, pressing her mouth against his. She released his mouth before things got too heated. "And I know how boys like to talk…" She dug her fingernails into the skin on the back of his neck and he let out a small cry, followed by a laugh. "So, you had better not be sharing any details about what's been going on around here…" She slid her hand back around and ran her thumb along his lower lip. "Or you're going to be a very lonely man."

Elliot wrapped his hand around her wrist pulling her hand from his mouth. "Are you threatening me?" he asked with a smile on his face. Olivia had surprised him by being more of an instigator when it came to sex then him, so he knew she was bluffing.

Olivia raised one manicured brow and looked straight into his eyes, her face perfectly unreadable. "Are you going to test me?" she said, loving the look of uncertainty on his face.

He knew she was teasing, and he certainly wouldn't have ever said anything to the guys, but he wasn't going to take any chances. "Mums the word."

EOEOEOEO

They hadn't been seated for more than two minutes before Amy asked Olivia for an update on things with Elliot. Olivia was surprised. Olivia and Amy had talked several times over the past three week, but she had brushed off any questions about Elliot. She hoped Amy would take that as a hint…that there was nothing to discuss when it came to Elliot.

"Can we order something to drink first before the interrogation starts?" Olivia asked with a laugh.

"Interrogation?" Amy said with a sly smile. "That means there's something to tell." She slapped Olivia lightly on the arm, just as the waitress came to the table.

Once they had ordered an appetizer and lemon waters, Olivia restarted the conversation, trying to steer it back towards Amy.

Amy rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk about Jason Logan or therapy or trials." She let out a heavy sigh. "For just one night, I want to forget about all of that and just go back to being a normal person."

Olivia could understand that, and was determined to make Amy forget about all the chaos in her life. She tried to think of a safe topic of discussion, but there was a part of her that wanted to tell someone about what had happened. Plus, she knew that Amy was going to pry it out of her eventually. She just decided to go for it.

"I slept with Elliot."

Amy choked on the water she had been drinking, obviously surprised by Olivia's sudden confession. She coughed a few times and wiped at the mess she had made when she had spit the water out of her mouth.

Olivia just watched as Amy tried to recover, and she couldn't stop smiling. She knew she was being a hypocrite by telling Amy when she warned Elliot, but telling one of her closest friends and telling the guys were two different things. Especially guys from Elliot's married life.

Amy had recovered and her eyes narrowed as she trained them on Olivia. "Tell me _everything_." She said, leaning back against the back of the padded booth. "Don't you dare leave anything out."

Olivia felt her cheeks coloring slightly when she thought about she and Elliot together…him fucking her up against the wall…her mouth wrapped around him in the shower…the slow, lazy way he teased her body on a Sunday morning until she was begging him. She swallowed hard. Amy was definitely not getting the details.

"No. No. No. You can't back out now." Amy said impatiently. She knew Olivia well enough to know how her mind worked. "We always shared every detail of every guy we slept with in college. No holding

Olivia closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Oh my God!" Amy said with a small laugh. "I knew it!"

Olivia opened her eyes and stared back at her friend, smiling like an idiot. "I didn't even say anything."

Amy shook her head. "The look on your face says it all. And that dopey smile."

"It's…there aren't even words to describe…" She wasn't trying to be dramatic, but she really couldn't find the words. "It's mind-blowing, toe-curling, off-the-charts…I've never felt like this. It's wild, crazy, uninhibited one time and then slow and lazy the next. After… I can't even move…I'm completely satisfied…completely drained…it's like I'm high and I couldn't move if I wanted to. And then 30 minutes later, I want him all over again." Olivia shook her head.

"Holy shit." Amy said. "When you said you slept with him, I thought maybe you broke your own rule and slept with him, like, once."

Olivia had always been very clear with Amy about the boundaries she and Elliot had set the last time, and she could see the shocked expression on Amy's face at her confession. She bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, it's been more than once." She would be hard-pressed to come up with a number if Amy pressed her.

Amy smiled. "I can only imagine sex with that man. That body…" She leaned in. "Is he as well-hung as I imagine…"

Olivia interrupted her. "Amy!" She hissed. "Don't talk about him like that." She looked around, making sure no one else could overhear their conversation.

Amy shrugged. "I'm just going to use my imagination." She said. The waitress brought their dip and crackers and she dug right in. "Is it better than that one guy you went on and on about at Sienna? What was his name?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. There had been a guy at school that had blown her mind…it had been the best sex of her life up to that point. "Shawn Davies."

Amy nodded her head as she took a bite. "Aw yes. Better than Shawn Davies?"

"It's not even a contest." Olivia said. "But it's not just about the sex." Olivia said. "Elliot and I have been close…and getting closer…for years. We already had a connection that I can't even explain. The sex was just…"

"The final step in an affair you'd been having for years." Amy finished Olivia's thought.

Olivia's eyes connected with hers, happy that her friend understood and had supplied the words she had been trying to convey. "It was as if we had taken our relationship as far as we could. We knew a lot about each other, but there were still pieces of ourselves we kept from each other. We kept butting up against this line that we had drawn. And we knew if we shared anything deeper than we already had…if we took that step and gave in to the physical desire…we would be changed forever. There would be no going back." She could feel tears welling up on her lower lashes. "In the past three weeks, I've learned things about Elliot that have really made me understand him. I thought I knew him…" She put a hand to her mouth when she heard the tremor in her voice.

Amy sat and stared at her, her mouth slightly open. "You're really in deep, aren't you?" she said softly, a small smile on her lips.

"I trust him completely. For the first time…maybe ever…I can be myself. I don't have to hide anything from him. He knows all of me. The good and the bad." She swiped at a tear that escaped. "And he loves me anyway."

Amy put her hand over Olivia's on the table. She was probably the only other person in the world that knew Olivia like that, and she was so happy that she could finally find the unconditional kind of love she was looking for. "You deserve it." She said. "And I can tell from the way you're talking and that dopey expression on your face that you feel the same way about him."

Olivia couldn't help but smile at her friend. "I do. I really do."

"Well then thank God you guys got out of your own damned way." Amy smiled and leaned back in her chair, taking a drink. "And I just want to say… I'm taking full credit."

EOEOEOEOEO

It felt strange to Elliot to drive back to his old neighborhood, and even more strange to drive by his old house. He had lived here for so long, and a large part of his life had happened here, and yet, there was a part of it that felt so foreign.

He pulled up in front of a house that was four doors down from his old house…now Kathy's house…and turned off the engine. He wondered if maybe he shouldn't have come. The guys in the neighborhood had a standing poker game once a month. Twelve guys that he had come to know pretty well over the years, with block parties and Fourth of July celebrations, and all the things that neighbors did together. The players rotated in and out, depending on who was available, and Elliot certainly hadn't been one of the regulars. His work schedule made sure of that. But one of the guys, Dave, had gotten a hold of him, and told him that everyone would love to see him, letting him know he was still invited, and urging him to come. He had mentioned it in passing to Olivia, and when she had found out Amy was in town, she had pushed him to go while she was out.

She was probably worried he would stalk Amy and her…and honestly, she may have had something to worry about. The rational part of his brain knew that nothing was going to happen while they were out. He also knew that Olivia was more than capable if something did happen, and more likely than not, had her gun with her. But over the past three weeks, he saw her as so much more than a cop. And predictably so, his protective nature was in overdrive. Maybe he should go back to the city, just in case…

He reached to start the car again, when he was startled by a knock on the window. He looked up and saw one of his old neighbors, Dan, standing outside the car with a six pack of beer in his hand. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car, grabbing his own beer out of the backseat.

He walked into the house, catching up with Dan as they walked, and was inundated with handshakes and slaps on the back as he walked in. At first, it was a lot of _I'm sorry to hear about_ …and _how're you adjusting to_ … But then the conversation at the poker table turned to questions about his life in Manhattan, his new apartment and his job.

"Speaking of your job, how is that hot partner of yours?" A guy named Tony winked at him as he asked.

Elliot had been waiting for it. Olivia had been at a few events at his house over the years, and most of those were events his neighbors attended as well. They had all met Olivia at one time or another…some of them several times. He knew it was only going to be a matter of time. And the conversation was always the same.

"I can't believe she's a cop. If she ever stopped me for anything, I'd beg her to frisk me."

"If I worked with a woman that looked like her, my wife would make me change jobs."

"I don't know how you got so damned lucky Stabler…you must walk around with a permanent hard-on."

It went on and on, but Elliot just smiled, taking the good-natured ribbing. He had heard it all before. He just told them to knock it off, and they joked for a few minutes and then moved on.

"Seriously Stabler…you ever get a taste of that? I bet she's one sweet ride."

Elliot turned to his right, and gave the guy a hard look. That was crossing the line. Big time. This guy, Jerry, was a real asshole some times. Most of the time. They had never gotten along. "Too far."

Jerry held up his hands. "I was just saying. No one would blame you. I mean, _Christ_ …" He said, using his hands to outline the exaggerated outline of a woman's body.

Dave told Jerry to knock it off, but Jerry was staring directly at Elliot, a challenge in his eyes and his jaw set firmly.

Elliot pushed himself away from the table, and stood up, fisting his hands. The guys had given him plenty of crap about Olivia before…and certainly been crude with their comments about her anatomy and what they'd like to do to her…with her… if ever given the chance. At that time, he had told them good-naturedly to knock it the hell off…reminding them she was his partner and a good person. But now…this visceral reaction was probably telling them everything they wanted to know. "Shut the fuck up." He said forcefully, wanting to wipe that stupid grin off Jerry's face.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably, and Dave came around the table. Elliot he felt Dave's hand on his shoulder. "It's OK man. Jerry's an asshole. He didn't mean anything…"

Jerry stood up, his eyes still focused on Elliot. "Why you getting so upset Stabler? The way you're acting…I'm thinking you _did_ nail her." He leaned in slightly. "She taste as sweet as she looks?"

Elliot tried to control his rage. He waited a beat to see if Jerry was going to shut his fucking mouth before he lost it.

Jerry grinned. "That why your wife left you?"

This time, Elliot didn't hesitate. His fist connected with Jerry's jaw, and he put everything he had into it. Jerry didn't have time to react, and he fell to the floor, crashing into one of the chairs. There was chaos then as everyone else scrambled up. "You miserable fucking asshole." Elliot said, resisting the urge to kick him when he was down. "Shut your fucking mouth. I don't want to hear you talk about Olivia or my wife…or any other woman that way. How you wife puts up with your sorry ass…"

Jerry pulled himself up off the floor then and he lunged at Elliot. "Fuck you Stabler!" A few guys held him back. "You always think you're such a big man…better than everyone else because you have a fucking badge."

"Let him go." Elliot said, looking at the guys holding him back. "Big man wants to fight me…"

Two seconds later, Jerry broke free and took a swing at Elliot, but he ducked and Jerry missed, enraging him even further. He was off balance because he had put all his energy into the swing, and Elliot connected with his jaw again, feeling vindicated when Jerry hit the floor again, and he saw blood coming out of Jerry's mouth. Jerry looked up at him and opened his mouth as if to say something.

"If I were you, I wouldn't say another word." Elliot said, his tone dark and menacing. In the back of his mind, he knew Olivia was going to be upset about this…but the adrenaline was still pumping through his system and he was still seeing red, and he pushed her out of his mind. "Or we're going to take this outside and you're going to end up in the hospital." He was shaking his fist, trying to soothe out the sting from where his knuckles had made contact with Jerry's jaw. He felt a perverse sense of anger as Jerry shut his mouth. He wanted a reason to hit him again. When Jerry didn't get up and took a step back. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

A couple of guys helped Jerry up, and Dave rushed over. "OK. Everyone needs to cool off." He put a hand on Elliot's shoulder but Elliot shrugged it off.

"Sorry about the game." He said to Dave. He scooped his money off the table. "I'm outta here." He walked quickly to the door, his breathing still heavy, and was glad that no one followed him or tried to stop him from leaving. He knew it had been a mistake to come to the game…back to Queens.

 _You can't go home again_ ran through his mind. Bu the reality was, this wasn't home anymore.

Home was with Olivia, and he couldn't wait to get there.


	24. Chapter 24

Elliot decided to go to the precinct and go a couple of rounds with the punching bag to work off some of his residual frustration. The idea of going back to his empty apartment, or worse yet, Olivia's empty apartment, was more than he could bear.

 _Is that why your wife left you?_

Those words kept worming their way back into his thoughts, despite his best efforts to suppress them.

Olivia and he had discussed this a couple of different times in the past three weeks. He had been adamant that she had not caused the break-up of his marriage. But there was still a small part of him that felt guilt over the failure of a relationship that had lasted almost all his adult life. Kathy and he had separated…or rather, she had left him…way before he realized he had feelings for Olivia.

Or at least that's what he told himself.

They had always had a bond…one that developed slowly over the years. But it had definitely been there. He told himself he had to spend long hours at work, but in reality, had he avoided going home so he could spend more time with Olivia?

No.

 _Maybe._

He pounded his fist on the steering wheel. He hadn't done anything wrong. He and Olivia had been partners. They worked well together. They had a mutual respect for each other. They were close because they had been partners for a long time. They balanced each other out…kept each other sane. But they had never, ever crossed the line.

At least not physically.

But if thinking about another woman was considered cheating, then every man was guilty of cheating at one point or another.

Rationalization was a wonderful thing.

He pulled into the precinct parking lot more worked up than before. That punching bag was going to get a beating.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia strode down the hallway to her apartment, looking at her watch. It was still early…barely 8AM. She and Amy had stayed up talking until past midnight, but Amy had really wanted to get on the road early and get back to Boston. Olivia wanted to go back to bed. She had enough sleepless nights due to work, so she was going to take advantage of the fact that she didn't have anything going on today, and that Elliot was sleeping elsewhere.

She loved the man, but the fact that they couldn't keep their hands off each other was becoming a problem. She needed a solid 8 hours of sleep.

Olivia fumbled with her keys and slid them into the lock, opening the door quietly as not to wake her neighbors. As she walked in, the light from the hallway streamed into the apartment and she startled when she saw someone moving inside. Then Elliot's face came into view as he sat up on the couch with a confused expression on his face. He had obviously been sleeping.

Olivia let out a sigh and closed the door behind her as Elliot rubbed a large hand over his face.

"Hey." He said gruffly, lifting his arm and looking at his watch. "You're home early."

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked, a little annoyance creeping into her tone. "I thought you were sleeping at Dave's. Or at your apartment."

Elliot was a little put off by her tone. He had done a good job of not bothering her last night, despite the dozens of times he had picked up his phone to text or call her. He had only replied to her text, when she let him know that Amy and she were back at the hotel.

"I couldn't stand the idea of sleeping alone in my apartment." Elliot said, watching as she dropped her duffle bag on the floor and walked into the living room.

Olivia plopped down in one of the oversized chairs. "You're alone here." She pointed out.

'Yeah, I know. But…" He didn't know how to explain how he could still feel her presence…still smell the vanilla of her shampoo…still see signs of her everywhere…without sounding a little creepy. He shrugged his shoulders. "It just feels less lonely." He wouldn't tell her that he had tried sleeping in her bed, but the bed felt too large. Too empty. He swung his legs off the couch and on to the floor. "Plus, I knew you'd be coming back."

Olivia pressed her lips together as her eyes took in his rumpled clothes and the shadow of his beard. It was impossible to be angry with him…and she really wasn't. She had just been surprised to see him. Her eyes landed on his hands, and her brows furrowed when she saw them bruised and cut.

"What happened?" she asked, her eyes trailing over to the ice pack on the floor and then back up to his hands.

"Nuthin'." Elliot said, rubbing his left hand over the bruised and swollen right hand.

"Bullshit."

"I left the game and went to the precinct and hit the bag a little." The reality was that his hand had hurt like hell. He tried to hit the bag, but after a few punches, he had given up and gone to lift weights instead.

Olivia watched him but he averted his gaze then. "El." She said in a disapproving tone. She knew there was something he wasn't telling her. "What happened to total honesty?"

Elliot shook his head, wishing that for just once, she would let it go. "It's not a big deal."

"Fine." Olivia said, standing up abruptly.

Elliot could see she was pissed. She wanted an explanation. "Wait." He said, reaching out towards her. Olivia stopped and turned back towards him, situating herself in the chair again. She raised an eyebrow as he hesitated, trying to figure out how much to share. "There's this guy. Jerry. He's always been an asshole."

Olivia tilted her head slightly. She could see where this was going. "You got into a fistfight at your poker game?" She had assumed it was something like that, but didn't actually want to believe it. "Unbelievable."

"He deserved it." Elliot said defensively.

"He deserved it?" Olivia mimicked. "What are you? 12?" Men and all that testosterone. Elliot was one of the worst…his anger always getting the better of him and his fists his only outlet.

"Liv." Elliot said darkly. "Drop it."

Olivia could see the anger still simmering beneath the surface. "What did he say that made you so angry?" she asked softly, losing the anger and annoyance in her own voice. She could tell the altercation, whatever it had been about, had really set him off.

"Nothing." Elliot said, dropping his head and looking at his scarred hands.

"El." Olivia said, and watched Elliot lift his head and look at her.

Olivia's look told him that she was going to sit there all day if she had to. He took in a deep breath and let it out. "Fine." The way he said it let her know that she couldn't blame him if she got upset. "They guys always…" he wanted to choose his words carefully. "They're always making comments about…you."

Olivia shook her head. "El." She could only imagine. She had heard plenty of comments in her time…from other cops, from lawyers, from suspects and perps. She always blew them off. She was a woman in a man's world, and she had a thick skin. "It's nothing I haven't heard before. Nothing _you_ haven't heard before."

"It's not right." Elliot said.

"I know it's not. But you can't go around beating up everyone that makes a stupid comment. We wouldn't have any time to do our job." She shook her head. She had heard about Elliot _correcting_ a few people now and then.

"They crossed the line." Elliot said determinedly.

"I think I've heard every comment about every piece of my anatomy. Why does it bother you more than me?" Olivia asked. "Why can't you just ignore them?" She really had built up a thick skin…knowing that dwelling on it would only drive her crazy. She knew she was more competent that half the clowns in the department, and she was in control of the suspects and perps. She wouldn't let them feel like she was less somehow.

"He accused us of sleeping together while I was still married." Elliot said, as if it was some big bombshell.

Olivia sighed and pushed herself out of her chair. "God Elliot. We've heard that for years." She ran her hand through her hair. "Who cares what they think?" She really couldn't believe that was the comment that had driven him over the edge. That was old news.

Olivia started to walk away from him, but Elliot snagged her hand, moving to the edge of the couch. When she turned, he looked up at her, keeping hold of her hand. "But we didn't."

Olivia turned around and sat down next to the couch. Elliot released her hand and he moved back on the couch and she tilted her head slightly, looking him straight in the eye. "Elliot. What's going on?" she asked softly. This was about more than a few rude comments and accusations.

Elliot didn't say anything for a few minutes…the silence stretched out between them. He was looking down at his hands, but could feel Olivia's eyes on him. "I wonder if…" He scrubbed his hand over his face. He looked up at Olivia. "I'm happy with you." He said. "Happier than I've ever been."

Olivia nodded slightly. "Me too." She said. She watched as Elliot looked away from her again. "You don't think you deserve to be happy?" Her voice was almost a whisper. She didn't like the way this conversation was going, and her concern ratcheted up when he didn't answer. She pushed herself back on the couch. "You think you didn't try hard enough? With Kathy?" Her voice rose…she was trying not to panic. He had told her she could trust him. "I can't believe this." she said, scrambling off the couch…away from Elliot. She turned away from him, determined to create some space.

"Liv." Elliot's voice came out strangled. "I love you." He said as he stood up. He wrapped his hand around her bicep and tugged her lightly, forcing her to turn around to face him. "I just…" He put a hand under her chin and tilted her head since she was forced to look at him. "There are always going to be people that wonder, and I don't want you to feel like...I don't want there to be a question about…us."

Olivia brushed his hand off her face. "What is this?" The panic was really starting to set in now. "You don't want this anymore?"

"God, that's not what I'm saying." He reached for her but the expression on her face stopped him. "Liv…it's never going to end. The speculation…the wondering." He looked into her eyes, trying to read her, but failing miserably.

Olivia looked down at the floor, trying to think…trying to quell the panic swarming through her. She thought about all the things they had talked about over the past three weeks. She was fighting her natural urge to run when things go tough…to retreat and tell herself she didn't need him. She took a deep breath, and lifted her head to look at Elliot again. "El." She pressed her lips together again before she spoke again. "You told me that you did the best you could, but that your marriage was over…and had been for a while. Do you still believe that?"

Elliot took in a deep breath. "I can't go back." Even if there would always be some residual guilt, he knew there was nothing else he could have done to salvage his marriage. He reached out and placed his hands on her upper arms. "But if you…"

Olivia placed two fingers over his mouth, silencing him. "You know how I feel." She said. "I don't care what people think El. We know the truth." They had talked through all of this before…the cliché of partners falling in love…the consequences in their jobs. "Why are you questioning this? Us?"

Elliot grasped her hand and held it near his mouth. "I just want you to be sure…"

"I don't know how…after everything that's happened over the past three weeks…how you can even question how I feel…" she whispered. She lifted herself up on her toes and pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly. She sucked his bottom lip between hers and she felt his fingers tangle in her hair. Then he was tugging her head back slightly and tilting her head as he took control of the kiss, opening her mouth to his.

Olivia pressed against his chest with the palms of her hands, breaking the kiss. "Are we done with this?"

"Yes." Elliot said, trying to pull her mouth back to his.

"I mean it. No more beating people up…"

"I can't promise that." Elliot said truthfully. "I never know when I'll have to defend your honor." He said it with a slight tease in his tone, and he felt relief course through him. He shouldn't have questioned her feelings…

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm a big girl." She ran her hands down his chest and stomach until she hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans. "I don't need you to defend me."

Elliot cupped her face with his hands. "I know." He said quietly. "But it's just natural to want to protect my girl." He tilted her face up to his. "I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded slightly. "I know." She knocked her body into his. "And you're always accusing me of being the one that's going to break _your_ heart." She slapped him playfully on the arm. "Don't do that again."

Elliot heard her. She may have said it in a light tone, but she was dead serious. He leaned in and kissed her. "I promise." He kissed her more forcefully, sliding his hands over her shoulders and resting them lightly on her upper arms. His mouth left hers and he trailed kisses across her jaw, kissing his way down her neck. He lifted his mouth and bit down lightly on her earlobe. "Let me make it up to you." His hands slid down to her waist and he tugged at her jeans, pulling her lower body against his. But Olivia was ahead of him as usual, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down.

Olivia slid her hands inside his jeans, not surprised to find that he wasn't wearing underwear. The man loved to go commando…she wasn't complaining. She heard Elliot hiss slightly as she wrapped her fingers around him, and she slid her hand down to the base of his cock. He was already hardening and she smiled, loving his body's reaction to her.

"Liv." His tone was low…gravelly…and he cupped the back of her head and pulled her mouth against his, kissing her roughly. He drove his tongue into her mouth and he was devouring her…owning her…taking claim. He pulled her hand from his cock and Olivia protested with a groan, but Elliot didn't release her mouth. He wrapped his arm around her waist while the other kept her mouth against his. He turned her body so her back was to the couch, and he lowered her onto it without breaking the kiss.

Olivia pushed against his chest…feeling lightheaded. She gasped for breath as Elliot's mouth left hers, and she arched her back as he ran his hands over her breasts, squeezing them roughly, and then continuing down her body. He lifted her t-shirt and placed open mouth kisses on her abdomen as his hands worked on getting her jeans undone. She was moaning and there was fire in her belly at the demanding way he was handling her. This would not be gentle…

Elliot was tugging her jeans over her hips and he barely had them down to her knees before his placed his mouth on her satin covered mound. He grazed his teeth over her and she arched her back again, trying to spread her legs, but trapped by her jeans. Elliot kept teasing her with his mouth, sliding his tongue over satin, and sucking at her through the fabric. He slid his tongue along the seam of her panties and Olivia was moaning. He was hard as granite already and he wanted to take her…

"Pleeaase." Olivia moaned. She had never begged so much in her life…but this man drove her over the edge and his teasing was relentless. She tried to spread her legs and let out another sound of frustration, but she was relieved when a few seconds later, Elliot was tugging them down her legs. He stood up and dropped his jeans, and Olivia moaned when she saw his erection. She shifted on the couch, spreading her legs to accommodate him and then he was tugging at her panties, barely getting them off before he was climbing on top of her.

Elliot grabbed at the cushions on the back of the couch, tossing them off to give him more room. He knocked her left leg apart with his right and slid his hands back up her body as he settled himself between her legs. Olivia let out a strained sound when his erection pressed against her entrance, and she lifted her hips to meet him. Elliot kissed her neck and then up her jaw until his mouth connected with hers. He opened her mouth with his, and Olivia wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling his mouth against his. She drove her tongue into his mouth, and swallowed a gasp as he drove inside of her. Her back came up off the couch as he pulled out almost completely and drove back inside of her.

Elliot reached down with his left hand and captured her right thigh, opening her up to him and he fucked into her harder. Her walls were grasping at him…she was always so tight and he couldn't stop groaning as he drove inside of her. He broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck and Olivia arched into him, trying to keep up with the rhythm he had set. The room was filled with the sound of their bodies connecting, and their moans. He felt Olivia rake her nails down his back and bit down lightly on her neck.

"Fuck." Elliot cried out. He wasn't going to be able to hold on, but it didn't matter because Olivia's body was clenching hard around him and he heard her call out his name as she came. He was right behind her…releasing himself inside of her. He grunted as her body convulsed around him and he buried his face back in her neck as his left hand found her right and he pinned it down near her head. He collapsed against her then, and her heard Olivia let out a sound as the breath left her body. He tried to lift himself up and shift his weight slightly, but she held him in place and wrapped her long legs around him.

Elliot released her hand and propped himself on his forearms, looking down at her. Olivia's eyes were closed and her skin was flushed. He pressed his lips against hers gently, sucking her bottom lip between his, tugging at it and releasing it with a pop. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, letting out a small moan as he shifted his lower half slightly. Elliot brushed her hair back from her face, and peppered her face with light kisses. "You make me so happy." He kissed her gently again. "I'm an idiot for even questioning how you feel."

Olivia smiled, sliding her hands beneath his arms and trailing them down his back. "No argument." She said with a little laugh. She lifted her chin slightly to catch his eyes. "We'll work through it El. One day at a time." She shifted underneath him and gasped lightly…her body still sensitive.

"One day at a time." He kissed her again. "For the rest of our lives."


	25. Chapter 25

AN: I think a lot of people thought this story was over after the last chapter, but don't worry, I'll let you know when it's over. It'll be pretty soon, but not quite yet. Thanks for reading and for your reviews!

EOEOEOEO

Elliot groaned when he heard Olivia's cell phone ringing on the nightstand. It seemed like they had just crawled into bed after their tryst on the couch, and he was still exhausted. "Don't answer that." He grumbled, pulling Olivia back against his body as she rolled away to grab it off the small table.

"It might be important." Olivia pulled away again and snagged the phone, rolling back to lie next to Elliot as she answered. "Olivia Benson."

"Olivia?"

 _Oh shit_. She recognized the voice. After years of taking messages, how could she forget?

"It's Kathy." She said with that annoying hint of a whine she always seems to have in her voice.

Olivia turned her head towards Elliot, wondering if he could hear Kathy on the other end of the line. Elliot propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her with a look of concern on his face. He had heard.

Olivia rubbed her hand across her eyes, trying to wake up. "Yeah." She said. "Hi."

"Did I wake you?" Kathy asked. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I need to get up anyway." She couldn't believe she was making chitchat with Kathy while Elliot was lying right beside her.

Kathy forged ahead. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I've tried calling Elliot's cell and he's not answering."

 _Oh shit. Oh shit._ Olivia shot a glance over at Elliot but his expression was unreadable.

"Do you know where he is?" Kathy asked.

 _Lying in bed with me_. Those words popped into her head, but she definitely was _not_ going to say that.

"What does she want?" Elliot whispered and Olivia waved her hand at him, needing him to shut up.

"He was supposed to meet me here at Dickie's game an hour ago." Olivia glanced over at the clock and saw it was almost 1, and she felt the mattress bow as Elliot climbed out of bed.

"Kathy…I…" Olivia didn't know whether to lie and say he wasn't with her or to pretend he was with her on a call.

 _No_. She couldn't say they were working…she had confessed to being asleep. Olivia looked over at Elliot as he scrounged around on the floor for his jeans. "I don't know where he is." She felt bad about lying but she didn't know what else to do.

Elliot was obviously surprised at her lie, as he jerked his head up as he snagged his jeans off the floor. He stood up quickly, but caught his elbow on the nightstand. "Fuck!" He yelled out before he could stop himself, and he quickly realized how loud he had been and froze, staring at Olivia.

"Elliot?" Olivia heard Kathy say his name in her ear, and she looked back at Elliot with a look of panic on her face. She was usually quick on her feet, but her mind was absolutely blank. "Olivia, is Elliot there with you?" Kathy asked. Olivia didn't answer…she just stared as Elliot stared back at her, and before she knew what she was doing, she thrust the phone towards him.

"Take it." She hissed, and Elliot took it from her, putting the phone to his ear.

"Kath?" he said, his eyes trained on Olivia. "Sorry I'm running late. I'm on my way." He hung up the phone before she could say anything.

"Oh my God." Olivia moaned as she threw her arm over her eyes. "I didn't know what to say." She was usually cool in an emergency, but her mind had been blank. Guilt washed over her. She lifted her arm and looked over at Elliot. "I'm sorry."

Elliot shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry about." He picked his t-shirt up off the floor.

"But…" She sat up and scooted back on the bed until she was leaning against the headboard, pulling the sheet up to cover her breasts.

"Liv." Elliot said, pulling his t-shirt over his head. "We're not doing anything wrong. I'm not married to Kathy anymore."

She thought about what he said for a few seconds, but she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. For years, Elliot had been married to Kathy…he had been completely off-limits…emotionally…mentally…and most certainly physically. She couldn't just forget about that and pretend this was normal.

"Olivia." Elliot said, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"I know…but…is this really how you want her to find out that we're…" She shook her head. She couldn't imagine the conversation Elliot was going to have with Kathy.

"Involved?"

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded slightly.

Elliot let out a breath. "Honestly? Not really." He said, and he saw Olivia look away from him. He reached over and gripped her chin lightly in with his hand, turning her head so she was looking at him again. "I wanted to wait to tell her…and to tell anyone else…until you're ready. Until _we're_ ready." They really hadn't had a chance to talk about next steps. They had been so happy wrapped up in their own little world. "But it's going to be OK." He let his hand slide down her neck and across her shoulder. He ran his thumb back and forth across her skin. "It's going to be OK."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot rushed out of Olivia's apartment and down the stairs. He didn't know if he had done much to make Olivia feel better…he hoped so. The truth was, he really wasn't very happy about being forced to talk to Kathy already. He had a feeling that once he told Kathy, then word would get out, and they'd be forced to tell Cragen and everyone else. Not that it wouldn't come out eventually, but he was being selfish…he wanted things to stay how they were for now.

The minute he got in the car, his cell phone started to ring again. He grabbed it and looked at the caller ID, but when he saw it was Kathy, he let it drop in the center console. He let out a heavy sigh and headed towards Queens.

He arrived at the ball field and found Kathy in the bleachers. She was clapping and he turned and saw one of Dickie's teammates rounding 2nd base. He decided not to climb up into the bleachers with her…he didn't want to get into an argument in front of the other parents. He walked up to the chain link backstop and put his hands up, wrapping his fingers around the metal and leaning into it, watching the game.

The game was almost over when Elliot heard footsteps in the gravel next to him.

"Nice of you to show up." Kathy said. "You missed half the game."

Elliot could hear a slight edge in her voice…not full-fledged anger…but it was there, ready to explode. He was surprised she had waited to approach him until the game was over.

"They're playing well." Elliot said, choosing not to take the bait. The game ended at that moment, and Elliot dropped his hands from the fence and turned to look at her. "I'm going to talk to Dickie." He walked past her and headed towards the group of boys that were high-fiving each other. He heard Kathy's shoes crunching on the gravel behind him, but he ignored her, and saw Dickie break from the group and walk over towards them.

"You made it!" he said, with a smile on his face. "We won!"

Elliot talked with him for a few minutes and then Dickie told him that he was going for pizza with the guys. Elliot nodded and they said they're goodbyes. He watched the boys as they talked and laughed as they walked off as a team, and he smiled…remembering those days.

"Elliot, what the hell is going on?" Kathy asked, and he was brought back to the present. He sighed, and turned to face her, getting pissed off by the righteous tone in her voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I already told you that I was sorry I was late." He said, brushing past her. He knew he needed they needed to talk, but with the mood she was in, it was only going to end in an argument.

"Elliot." She said, quietly, but in a demanding tone, trying to get his attention. "You miss half of Dickie's game, and I was calling and calling you…"

Elliot kept walking and he knew she was following him, probably looking around to make sure no one was listening.

"I heard that you got in a fight with Jerry last night."

Elliot stopped and Kathy bumped into him. She took a step back and he turned to face her.

"You hit him? What the hell were you thinking?"

Elliot looked past her, and saw that all the parents were out of range…walking towards their car since they game were over.

He could see the outrage etched in her features, but she was trying not to make scene. "You really want to talk about this?" Elliot asked. "Here?"

"I want to know what's going on!" she said, the volume of her voice escalating as she said it. She took a deep breath. "Why were you at Olivia's?"

"Olivia's my partner." He said. Kathy was obviously not going to let this drop but he was intent on being vague unless she pushed him.

Kathy jutted her chin out. "If she was only your _partner_ , then you wouldn't be there while she's _sleeping_."

"In case you've forgotten, we're not married anymore." Elliot said.

"So, you _are_ sleeping with her." Kathy said, a sound of distaste in her voice.

Elliot hated the way she made it sound, like it was some tawdry affair. "It's not like that."

"How long?" Kathy said.

Elliot shook his head. He knew what she was asking. "I never cheated on you Kathy. You know I wouldn't do that."

Kathy let out a sound of disgust. "I wish I could believe that. I knew I should have demanded you get a new partner."

"I don't owe you an explanation…but Olivia and I didn't get involved until just a few weeks ago."

Kathy let out a strangled laugh. "Who are you kidding? You two have been involved for years."

"Kathy, you can believe what you want to believe…but Olivia had nothing to do with us…or why we broke up."

"How can you stand there and say that with a straight face? You fell in love with another woman."

Elliot pressed his lips together. Despite all his best efforts, he knew he couldn't unequivocally say that his feelings for Olivia hadn't impacted his desire to fix things in his failing marriage, but he couldn't regret anything. He loved Olivia…in an all-consuming way that he had never felt for Kathy.

His anger left him then…and his shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry Kath…I really am. I did the best I could." Elliot saw Kathy's face change…the fight leaving her at the change in his tone. "I loved you. I still do. But we were so young and we've both changed so much. Whether I'd met or Olivia or not…I still think we'd be in the same place."

Kathy was shaking her head slightly, and Elliot saw tears brimming on her lower lashes. He felt like an asshole, and he knew it was partly for his failure to make things works…his failure to keep his vows and support his family…but it was also because he had moved on. He was happy…he had found someone to make a future with, and Kathy hadn't.

He reached out tentatively, and placed his hands on her upper arms, expecting her to push him away. When she didn't, he tugged her towards him and she allowed him to pull he against him. He rested a hand on the back of her hair, and she cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry." He whispered a few times.

A few minutes later, she seemed to collect herself and she pulled away. Kathy swiped at her face, and Elliot could see by the set of her jaw that some of the anger had returned. "Well, I hope you're not too busy with your new _girlfriend_ to make time for your children." She snapped. "And I don't want that…"

Elliot narrowed his eyes in warning…he could tell she was going to use some disparaging remark and he wouldn't tolerate it.

"I don't want her around the kids." She took a few steps backwards, distancing herself from him.

"Kath…"

"I have to go." She said abruptly.

"We need to talk some more." Elliot said.

"I can't talk to you right now." Kathy said. She turned and walked away, and he let her go. They would need to talk again, but he knew now wasn't the time. He watched as she got into her car and drove away, and then walked over to the bleachers and sat down.

Guilt weighed on him heavily, but as he and Olivia had discussed so much over the past three weeks, this was the hand they were dealt. They both had to live with how they'd gotten to this place, and they both deserved to be happy. There was no point in denying in each other…he wasn't going back to Kathy and Olivia wasn't going to find someone else to take his place.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and thumbed open the phone app. He hit Olivia's name and heard the phone ringing.

"Hey." Olivia answered, and Elliot heard concern and relief all rolled into the tone of her voice and that one little word.

"Hey." Elliot said.

"You OK?"

"I will be." Elliot said. "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Elliot said.

"Come home El."

Elliot smiled. "I'm on my way."


	26. Chapter 26

AN: Wow, people keep thinking the story ended with each chapter! Maybe that's a hint. LOL. It's not over yet…I'll let you know when it is. Thanks for your comments!

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was waiting at the door when he walked down the hallway of her apartment building. He resisted the urge to run down the hall. The need to hug her close was so overwhelming…as if he'd almost lost her…and he didn't know why. Maybe it was just the need to anchor himself to something…to feel grounded and secure.

Olivia backed away from the door and let him into the apartment, and as soon as the door closed, he pulled her into his arms. Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist, and pressed her head against his chest. He placed a kiss on her forehead, right at her hairline, and then buried his face in her hair and tightened his hold on her. She didn't say a word…she knew he would tell her what he wanted her to know...and that it would take time.

Elliot let out a sigh, and then loosened his grip on her, placing another kiss on her forehead before releasing her completely. Olivia took a few steps back and looked at him. "You okay?"

Elliot nodded. "I will be."

Olivia nodded, pressing her lips together, and turned back to the living room. She had been knee deep in a case file, and she had her laptop open and papers strewn across the coffee table. She plopped back down on the couch, trying for a sense of normalcy. She didn't want Elliot to feel pressured into talking right away.

Elliot sat down in the chair across from the couch and leaned back, running a hand over his short- cropped hair. He appreciated that Olivia wasn't asking him a million questions, but he knew she was probably anxious to know what happened. "I talked to Kathy."

Olivia looked up from her file, but she didn't say anything.

"We were at the ballpark, so we couldn't really talk…" He let out a huff. "Everyone was gone but it wasn't the ideal place." He looked up at Olivia and saw she was trying to keep a neutral expression on her face.

"She was upset." Olivia said, trying to make it easier for him.

"Yeah." Elliot swiped his hand across his mouth. "She was…" Elliot pushed himself out of the chair and started pacing towards the window. He leaned his hands against the window ledge, and stretched out his arms, ducking his head down between his arms. "It's hard for her." He said. He turned around and leaned against the window, crossing his arms in front of him. "I think she always knew you and I would end up here…maybe before we did. But thinking it, and finding out it's true, are two different things." He looked down at the floor. "She's angry and she's confused…and she's sad." He looked back up at Olivia again. "I've moved on. I'm happy. And she's…she got left behind."

"I'm sorry." Olivia said, her voice small and quiet. She knew Elliot was dealing with a lot of emotion right now, and she was surprised at how much he was sharing with her. The last three weeks had really changed both of them, and she was glad he felt like he could be honest with her. "I know it's hard."

"I'll always care about her." Elliot said, hoping Olivia understood.

Olivia stood up, and approached him slowly. "I know." She placed her hands gently on his shoulders. "It'll be okay. It's just something you guys have to work out." She tilted her head slightly and caught his eyes. "It'll just take some time."

Elliot was happy that she understood. "Yeah."

Olivia placed her palm on his chest, waiting a few seconds before she pushed on. "Do you think this means we have to tell everyone else?" She had wanted to keep things the way they were for a while, and she knew Elliot did too.

"I don't think so." He said. He couldn't imagine that Kathy would tell anyone…she was still trying to process it herself. And she didn't come into contact with anyone from his daily life anymore.

Olivia let out a sigh of relief. "I'm not ready." She said.

"I know." Frankly, Elliot had enough on his plate right now too. "But you and I are going to have to talk about it soon." He said. They needed to have the conversation…about what would happen once they did decide to disclose their relationship.

"But not today."

Elliot leaned down and captured her lips, kissing her gently. "Not today."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia looked back at Elliot as he made some snide remark at his desk, but Munch started giving him a hard time and she just went back to the file on her desk. She was surprised at how easy it was for them to slide into their Benson and Stabler persona's once they went to work. She didn't think anyone had a clue that anything had changed between she and Elliot. If they did have any suspicions, one of two things would have happened. Either Munch or Fin would have gone quiet, and started acting strangely around them, or they would be making remarks filled with innuendo, aimed at getting them to confess.

So far, they were acting like they normally did. Munch had just launched into one of his conspiracy theories about IAB bugging their office, their cars and their homes, and Fin was rolling his eyes. A few seconds later, Cragen came out of his office.

"Benson." He said tersely.

Olivia looked up quickly, and saw Elliot turn in his chair to look at Cragen as well. It was rare that only one of them got called into Cragen's office, so he waited for the Captain to say his name as well.

"My office." Cragen said, looking at Elliot and then back at Olivia.

 _He knows_. Those were the first words that popped into her mind, and she wondered if Elliot was thinking the same thing. Would Cragen call them both in his office if he thought they had blurred the lines between partnership and relationship? Or would he question them individually?

"Olivia." Cragen said, her name again and she realized she hadn't responded or made a move towards his office. She pushed her chair back and stood up, and she saw Elliot turn to look at her. She could see the question in his eyes, but she looked away quickly. She didn't know any more than he did.

Olivia walked into Cragen's office and saw he was standing behind his desk.

"Close the door."

Olivia tried to keep her features neutral as she closed the door. "Yeah Cap'n?" she asked as she turned back to face him.

"Have you talked to your friend Amy lately?"

That wasn't what Olivia had expected to hear and she furrowed her brow. "Amy?" Cragen kept his stoic expression and didn't say another word. "I talked to her…" She tried to think of how long it had been. "I guess it's been a little less than a week."

"Has she been back in town?"

"Not for a couple of weeks." The last time Amy was in town, was the night they had gone out for dinner. "At least I don't think she's been back since then." They had been keeping in touch, so she couldn't imagine Amy would come into town without letting her know.

"You sure about that?" He asked.

"What's going on?" she asked. Cragen was making her nervous.

Cragen waited a few seconds, and looked like he was debating about what to say. He finally decided, and narrowed his eyes slightly as he spoke. "Jason Logan is dead."

Olivia sucked in a breath. "What?" It took a few seconds for Cragen's words to sink in. "When? How?"

"Logan made bail two days ago."

"What? How did he make bail? I thought that bail wasn't even an option!"

"I don't know any details, except that he made bail two days ago, and now he's dead. He was murdered."

"You don't think _Amy_ killed him?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"She would have been notified when he was released."

Olivia was a little upset with herself. She'd been so busy with Elliot, she hadn't been tracking Logan. But honestly, she thought he was safely locked away at Rikers. And Amy should have called her when she received notification. "Amy wouldn't do that. She's not capable of anything like that."

"You'd be surprised what people are capable of." Cragen said. "You're sure you didn't know he had been released?"

"No!" She didn't like Cragen's tone. "You can't think _I_ had anything to do with this?"

"I'm only asking the questions Homicide is going to ask."

"I didn't know he had been released." Olivia said. "I swear."

Cragen nodded. "OK, well Homicide is going to want to talk to you."

"Does Amy know?"

"They're probably questioning her now."

"She didn't do this." Olivia said.

"I hope you're right." Cragen said. "That's all for now."

Olivia turned and opened the door, a million questions running through her mind.

"Send Elliot in please." Cragen called after her.

Olivia froze, and turned to face him. "He didn't know anything about Logan getting released either. He would have told me."

Cragen furrowed his brows. "Elliot may not tell you everything." He said. "Just like you might not tell him everything."

Olivia didn't know what to say to that, and she hung there for a second before she started to push the door open farther.

"Oh, and Olivia?"

Olivia stopped and glanced back at him again. "You didn't even ask me how he was killed."

Olivia saw the look on his face, and it bothered her that she couldn't read him. Maybe he really did think she had something to do with his death. Or he thought Elliot did. Before she could ask, he spoke again.

"Send Elliot in."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia waited anxiously for Elliot to come out of Cragen's office. He had only been in there a few minutes, but it seemed longer. When he finally emerged, Elliot's eyes connected with hers, and then he lifted his head slightly, nodding towards the break area upstairs. He headed towards the stairs, ignoring Munch's comments about he and Liv being in trouble again. Olivia pushed herself out of her chair and followed him up.

Elliot turned around as Olivia reached the top of the stairs. He didn't say anything, wondering if she'd had the same conversation as he'd had.

Olivia stopped a few feet away from him, and folded her arms in front of her. Cragen's words popped back in her head. _Elliot may not tell you everything_. "Did you know Logan had been released?"

Elliot furrowed his brow. "No."

Olivia pressed her lips together. She thought about Elliot's rage…about how angry he had been when he found out Logan had assaulted her and left her lying on the street…when he found out about what happened to Amy.

"You too?" Elliot asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Cragen questioned me about Logan's death. I think there's a part of him that thinks I might have killed him." he said. "And now you…"

"I don't…" Olivia started to object. She knew Elliot may threaten…may lash out. But kill someone…he wouldn't take a life. "And Cragen doesn't either." She took in a breath. "But you didn't go see him? You really didn't know he was released?"

"Christ Olivia. I said I didn't know. You don't believe me?"

"If you say you didn't know…I believe you." Olivia said.

Elliot was angry now. _If you say you didn't know…_

What was that?

He was angry now. First Cragen questioning him, and now Olivia? He knew he had anger issues and was known for punching a few walls…lockers…or any available surface. But this…

"Go to hell." Elliot said, as he brushed past her and headed back towards the stairs.

Olivia tried to grab his arm as he passed. "Elliot. I didn't mean…"

Elliot pulled his arm out of her grip easily and kept walking.

"Elliot." But he was already headed down the stairs.

Olivia sighed. She didn't think Elliot killed him, but she knew Elliot would have loved another opportunity to confront Logan. She was going to let him cool off and talk to him again.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot hadn't returned to the squad room by lunchtime, and Olivia got sent on a call with Fin. It was after 6 when they had wrapped up, so she had Fin drop her at her apartment. She was disappointed to find that Elliot wasn't at her apartment, and she checked her phone again for messages or texts.

She sat down hard on the couch when she saw she didn't have any. Elliot should have cooled off by now, and she had expected him to end up here. Even though he had his own apartment, he hadn't been there since their affair started…except to get clothes or other things.

She had replayed their conversation in her head several times that afternoon, and she hadn't accused him of anything. She didn't know why he had gotten so upset with her. But if it was one thing she had learned, it was that they didn't do well when things like this festered. She had to clear this up with him. She picked up her phone from the coffee table, but before she could open the phone app, it started ringing.

 _Cragen._

Olivia answered it. "Olivia Benson."

"Olivia."

"Yeah."

"I wanted to give you an update." He said. "Homicide just got done talking to Amy. She has an alibi for the night Logan was killed."

Olivia let out a sigh of relief. She had tried calling Amy as she'd left with Fin, but the call had gone right to voicemail. And then she hadn't had any other opportunities while she was out with Fin. "That's good news. I knew she couldn't have done it."

"She knew he had been released, but she hadn't seen any sign of him. It didn't appear he went back to Boston. His mail was piled up in his apartment. It seems he stayed in New York as instructed."

"Do you have any idea how he died?"

"Blunt force trauma to the head. Bruises and contusions…as if he'd been in a fight. But they're still waiting for the final report from the ME."

Olivia didn't say anything. She was letting the information sink in.

"Homicide wants to see you and Elliot tomorrow morning. 8AM." Cragen continued.

"Captain. Elliot and I didn't have anything to do with this."

"I believe you Olivia. But they still need to talk to you. You know they're going to question everyone that may have had an axe to grind with Jason Logan."


	27. Chapter 27

Olivia texted Elliot. She tried calling him. She left two apologies on his voicemail and asked him to call her. To come home. He didn't respond to any of them, and by 10PM, she gave up and crawled into bed, emotionally exhausted. She tossed and turned, twisting the sheets beneath her, and couldn't keep from checking the time or her phone.

Around midnight, she heard a key in the lock. She disentangled herself from the sheets and rushed out of her bedroom just in time to see the door open and Elliot walk in.

He looked up at her, seeming somewhat surprised to see her. Olivia watched as his eyes trailed quickly down her body and back up again.

"Figured you'd have your gun in your hand."

Olivia relaxed a little when she heard the small tease in his voice. "Most of the bad guys don't use a key." She said softly.

"Yeah, well…thought you'd be mad that I didn't return your calls or texts." Elliot stood rooted in place, trying to feel out just how angry she was with him.

"I might hurt you, but I wouldn't shoot you." Olivia tried to keep her tone light, but she was still unsure of where she stood with him. "Besides, you're the one that told _me_ to go to hell." It still hurt…those words were said so vehemently.

Elliot's shoulders slumped. "I didn't mean it."

"You said it, so there must have been something…"

Elliot shook his head. "I was upset. That you'd think I could kill someone in cold blood…" He dropped his head down, looking at the floor.

Olivia moved then. "I didn't think that. I know you'd never do that." She said as she took a few steps closer. Elliot looked up at her and she could see a guarded expression in his eyes, and she realized she had hurt him as well. She took another step towards him but he put up a hand and she stopped, still a few feet away. She saw he was looking away from her again, avoiding eye contact.

"I know I get angry…and I don't always handle it well. I'm overprotective." His eyes shot back at her. "Especially of those I love." He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm trying to learn how to control my anger…how to talk through things…how to open up. I'm trying to be a better man Liv."

Olivia kept her mouth shut…she wanted to give him the space to say what he wanted to say.

" _You_ make me want to be a better man." He said. "Now that we have a chance, I want to be the man you deserve."

"El…" She said softly. He _had_ been trying so hard. They had talked more than they had in years. He had really opened up to her, and they were closer than ever. And then she doubted him. "I'm sorry." Those words seemed so inadequate. She hadn't thought Elliot had killed Logan, but she thought he may have known Logan was out, and that he had hidden it to protect her in some way. "Elliot." She took a chance and stepped closer. He didn't stop her, and when she was about a half foot away, she stopped, placing the palm of her hand on his chest. "I shouldn't have doubted you. You've never done anything but try to be a good man. The last few weeks…it's been good getting to see another side of you…to be able to open up to you." She took a step closer and looked up at Elliot, catching his eyes with hers. "But I fell in love with you…just the way you are. Neither one of us is perfect. We're changing every day."

Elliot put one of his hands over hers. "I shouldn't have told you to go to hell, and I shouldn't have stormed out. I just needed time to think…"

Olivia felt a small stab of panic when he said he needed time to think. Had her doubt made him question her faith in him? Was he rethinking their relationship? She pulled her hand out from beneath his. "And?" Her voice was small.

Elliot ran his hands down her arms and took her hands in his. He glanced down at where their hands were clasped together, and his actions did nothing to quell the uneasiness Olivia was feeling. She felt like whatever he was going to say was going to be life-changing…and she didn't know if she could bear it if he was going to walk away from her.

Olivia watched as Elliot lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "You're everything to me Olivia. Don't you know that? I was hurt…but I couldn't stop loving you, no matter what you do or say."

Olivia's breath hitched slightly. It wasn't what she was expecting, and she was speechless.

Elliot dropped her hands then. He ran his hands slowly up her arms…over her shoulders…up her neck… until he was cupping her face in his hands. He leaned in, capturing her lips gently between his and kissing her softly. "I love you." He murmured as he released her mouth and his nose bumped hers. "And one day, I'm going to marry you."

He moved quickly then, never giving her a chance to reply. He threaded one hand through her hair as he kissed her more urgently and she felt like he was stealing her breath from her with the way he was possessing her mouth. His right hand trailed down to her breast…the heat of his hand burning through the thin material of her t-shirt. Olivia kissed him back with the same passion, while tears streamed down her cheeks in reaction to his words. Elliot's hand left her breast and trailed down until he hit skin. He slid his hand up the outside of her thigh, bringing her t-shirt with it. His fingertips were rough, causing a delicious friction against her skin, and Olivia shivered as he worked his way back to her breast. He took the weight of it in his hand, and squeezed gently, slipping his tongue between her lips and deepening the kiss. Olivia moaned into his mouth as he ran his thumb back and forth against her peaked nipple.

Elliot broke the kiss then, and released her completely, causing her to stumble slightly in place. He watched her standing there, her nipples poking through the material of her white t-shirt, her cheeks flushed and he lips red from his kisses. He reached down and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up and over his head, and it was seconds later before he was tugging hers over her head and dropping it on the floor next to his. He stood and looked at her for a moment, standing there in only a pair of white panties, and he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His body was aching for her…to be deep inside of her…and it was only seconds before he pulled her to him again. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she slid her arms around his neck, and he was lifting her up. She wrapped her long legs around him and now it was her turn to unleash her desire. She buried her face in his neck, her mouth hot against his skin. When she sucked on his pulse point, he let out a loud groan as his dick throbbed. She trailed her tongue up to his ear, and bit down lightly on his earlobe, and he moved her against the wall, not being nearly as gentle as he should be.

Olivia let out a sound as he pinned her to the wall and bucked his hips into her. Her head fell back against the wall as he kept rocking against her, and then she felt Elliot's mouth against her throat. Biting and sucking and teasing her skin…making her moan and writhe against him. It was too much…he was hitting her just right and God…she wanted him to touch her. Fuck her. Anything to relieve this ache between her legs. She moaned his name and he pressed up against her, moving his hips and grunting. She was going to come…she could feel the feeling in her lower belly…and she moaned his name again as she closed her eyes.

"Not getting off that easy…" Elliot said as he pulled her off the wall.

Olivia's eyes flew open and she saw that he was heading towards the bedroom. "Elliot." She said in complaint, but it was seconds later that he dropped her on the bed. He went for his belt, and then his jeans and his underwear, and he was standing in front of her, taking her in as she lay on the bed. Elliot leaned over and hooked his fingers into the sides of her panties, and slid them down her legs. Olivia watched him as he climbed on to the bed, and he slid his hands up her thighs as he spread them slightly, placing one knee in between her legs. His fingers whispered over her wetness and she arched up, wanting him to really touch her.

Elliot trailed his hands up her body, pressing himself intimately against her as he nuzzled her neck with his face. "I love you." He said again, and then lifted his head to look down at her. Olivia had her eyes closed and her head tilted back slightly, and she was lifting her hips to get him inside of her. "Olivia. Open your eyes." She did as he requested, lowering her chin to look at him squarely in the eyes. His eyes moved back and forth between hers. "Our lives are about to change forever." He said quietly and she knew what he was saying…this…their relationship…it was all going to come out. "Tell me you'll never leave me." He said.

Olivia slid her hands up his back, and lifted her head slightly to catch his lips. "Never." She pushed against him then, knocking him off balance, and he fell on his back next to her to keep from crushing her. Olivia slid one thigh over his waist until she was straddling him, and she situated herself over his erection, wiggling her ass slightly until she felt him slide into her wetness. She pushed her hips down then, taking him in one swift movement, and they both moaned as he was buried deep inside of her. Olivia arched back slightly, letting her body adjust, and then she started a slow, steady rhythm, pulling herself up slightly and then sliding down the length of him. Each movement was accompanied by their moans and Elliot put his hands on her hips and pushed up inside of her as she came back down. The friction between their bodies was amazing, and he watched her move above him. Eyes closed…moans emanating from her body in the deep, dusky tone…her body flush…her breasts bouncing with each thrust. The sight was pure ecstasy and it took everything in him not to come right now.

Olivia fell forward then, bracing her hands on his abs as she gasped with exertion. He pulled her down against his body and pulled her head towards him, kissing her roughly. He lifted his hips up, continuing to thrust inside of her. He let one hand slide down to her hip, keeping her pressed down against him, and then she was pushing herself up again, and settling her hands beneath his ribs again. Her walls were clenching around him and she was swearing softly now. Elliot slid his fingers between her legs and swiped them against her clit.

"Fuck!" she yelled loudly. He did it again and Olivia swore again as her orgasm tore through her. He fit his hand on the curve of her waist and pushed her down against him, letting himself go with her. He ground her hips against him as he emptied himself inside of her, and then Olivia collapsed against him again…completely spent. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair on the top of her head. He slid his hands lightly down her back and felt her shudder, and then she was pushing herself up and separating herself from him. She flopped unceremoniously down on her back next to him, stretching out her legs.

She bent her knees and stretched her legs out again and let out a groan. Her thighs were burning. Elliot rolled over on his side and propped his head up on his bent arm. He ran his hand down her abdomen and she jumped at his touch…her body still hypersensitive. He trailed his fingers, making a pattern against her skin, and Olivia couldn't help but let out a laugh, pushing his hand away. "Stop." Elliot rested his hand on her right hip, running his thumb across her hip bone. He watched his hand splayed against her dark skin, marveling again at the silky smoothness of her skin. His eyes trailed up to hers, and he saw her watching him, a small smile on her lips.

"Tell me what you're thinking right now." Elliot said.

A flippant remark was on the tip of her tongue, because she didn't want to tell him what she was really thinking. But she could see how intently he was watching her, and she knew the moment called for truth. She placed a hand on his chest, running her hand up to his face, cupping his check momentarily before she let her hand drop back to her stomach. "I was thinking that I can't believe I'm lying here with you…that this is real." She swallowed. "I can't imagine my life if I had never joined SVU…if I'd never met you."

"You'd probably be married to some doctor or lawyer…living a life of leisure." Elliot teased.

Olivia laughed along with him. "Yeah, that's me. It's been my life's goal to get married and become one of _those_ women…filling my day and going to the spa and shopping."

Elliot leaned in and captured her lips. "Sorry…too late. You're already taken." He ran a hand up the side of her body and ran his fingers along her collarbone. "And marrying a cop…sorry, but there aren't going to be any days at the spa."

Olivia laughed, and grabbed at his hand. "That tickles." She said softly and she pushed against Elliot's chest, forcing him to fall on to his back next to her. They lay there quietly for a moment, and Olivia tangled her fingers of her left hand with his, in the small space between their bodies.

"El?" She said tentatively, breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

Olivia didn't say anything, letting another minute pass. She felt Elliot move start to move towards her again, but she squeezed his hand and he stayed where he was. "You've mentioned getting married twice tonight…" She wanted to ask him if he was serious but she didn't want to sound needy…as if he needed to make some commitment to her tonight. She knew people say things in the heat of passion that they don't always mean.

"Yeah." Elliot said.

Olivia turned her head to look at him, unable to read his tone. She saw that he had turned his head, and was looking directly at her too.

"What do you think about that?" Elliot asked, his gaze never wavering.

Olivia turned her head and looked back at the ceiling. She felt Elliot shift beside her and he was on his side next to her, but she avoided looking at him. Her mind was racing. She had allowed herself to dream of a life with Elliot before. Married…living in a small house…sometimes with a baby and sometimes not. But that had all been in the past…daydreams about what could be. But since she'd actually fallen into this relationship… she seriously hadn't thought about it. Their lives were too complicated and she had honestly been happy just being together with him.

"Liv?" Elliot was confused by her reaction. To him, marriage was a natural conclusion. He lifted his fingers and grasped her chin lightly, turning her head so she was looking back at him. "I asked what you think about that." He dropped his hand and let it rest lightly on her arm.

"I don't expect that El. You've had that…you…"

Elliot broke into a grin. "You think I want to marry you out of some sense of obligation?" He shook his head. "God Liv. I want to marry you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I'm not going anywhere." She said quietly, resting her hand over his and giving him a small smile.

"Olivia Benson. One day soon, I'm going to ask you to marry me…so you'd better be ready with an answer." Elliot said falling on his back. He tugged her towards him, slipped his hand beneath her back, and pulled her up so she was lying on top of him. Olivia folded her arms across his chest and rested her chin on her hands, looking up at him through her dark lashes. Elliot ran his hands lightly down her back, and she shivered. "And just for the record." He said. "I'm expecting that answer to be yes."


	28. Chapter 28

Olivia's alarm went off and she hit her phone angrily, turning off the annoying sound. Elliot pulled her body back against him, hating the space she had created when she had pulled away to turn off her alarm. He wrapped his arm around her and buried his face in the hair at the back of her neck. "It's too early." He mumbled against her skin and he more purposefully wrapped his right leg with hers, keeping her anchored to him.

"We have to get up." Olivia said, really not making an effort to go anywhere. She had lived a lifetime of sleeping alone in her bed, but Elliot was a commanding presence, and she had happily acquiesced to nights spent with him wrapped around her body.

"I need more sleep." He said, without lifting his head.

"If you didn't get enough sleep last night, you have no one to blame but yourself." Olivia said, running her hand along his arm as it held her around the waist. They had made love once again, and talked late into the night before sleep had overtaken them, and she was feeling the effects herself.

"Have you thought about what you want to do this morning?" Elliot asked, switching topics.

"I'm still torn. There's a good chance Homicide won't really consider us suspects." Olivia said, rehashing some of the thoughts from their discussion last night.

"But if they do, and ask for an alibi…" Elliot said.

"I know." Olivia sighed. Elliot thought they should tell Cragen about their relationship before their interview with Homicide, so he heard it from them first. But it was a gamble. If Homicide didn't seriously consider them suspects, they would have outed themselves for no reason.

Elliot pushed himself up and propped his head on his bent arm. "Liv, I don't want to sneak around anymore." He released his hold around her waist and settled his hand on her hip. "I want to be able to go out. I don't want to be afraid of being seen together."

Olivia rolled over on her stomach and folded her arms under her chin. "But everything is going to change." She knew she was whining. Elliot had told her so last night…she couldn't have it both ways for much longer.

"I know it's going to be hard." He said, resting his palm on her lower back and rubbing lightly back and forth. "But hopefully it will be for the better." Elliot placed an open-mouthed kiss on her left shoulder. "It's going to come out sooner or later. There are only so many times I'm going to be able to keep myself from reaching for your hand in the squad room."

"OK." Olivia relented. "You're right. Let's tell Cragen this morning."

Elliot flattened his palm on her lower back. "Sounds good." He placed another kiss on her shoulder as he slid his hand down over her ass and squeezed gently. "Now how about a little celebration before we do?"

EOEOEOEO

An hour later, they were in the car, ready to head for the station.

"Now we're going to be late." Olivia grumbled, trying hard to keep a smile off her face. "Men your age aren't supposed to be able to have that much sex…" She teased.

"Watch it Benson." He said as he started the car. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Besides. It's your fault. If you weren't such a sex goddess…" he said flippantly.

Olivia rolled her eyes and hit him lightly on the arm. "Knock it off."

"What? I'm serious." He teased. "I have to take extra vitamins just to keep up."

Olivia laughed as he pulled away from the curb. "You're taking something alright." She shot back. When she looked over at him, he gave her a wounded look, and then they both laughed. It helped to ease the anxiety they were both feeling at what was waiting for them at the precinct.

They were silent most of the rest of the way, each lost in thought. When they parked their sedan, Elliot turned off the key and pulled the keys out of the ignition, but neither one of them moved. Elliot wanted to reach for her hand, but he didn't know who was around, and didn't want to start things off that way. Finally, when a minute had passed, he broke the silence.

"Ready?"

Olivia looked back over at him and nodded, and they both got out of the car.

"This carpooling has gotten to be a regular thing." Olivia heard Fin's voice and turned to her right, surprised to see him standing there. She hadn't even seen him as she got out of the car. She gave him a quick smile and was about to say something when Elliot chimed in.

"I practically drive right by her apartment on my way in, so seems stupid not to pick her up." He said as they all three started walking in together.

"Yeah, well I spend enough time with my partner during the day as it is." Fin grumbled. "I'm glad Munch doesn't live anywhere near me." He knocked his shoulder into Olivia's. "Hey what do you say you give up Stabler and come be my partner for a while. I could use a break." Fin chuckled then and Olivia tried to paste a smile on her face. If he only knew…

They walked up to the squad room together, with Fin still teasing Olivia about what an ass Elliot was and how he'd treat her much better…but he clammed up when he saw Munch sitting at his desk. Elliot and Olivia dropped their things at their desks, hesitating only a second before they headed towards Cragen's office. They had agreed that they wouldn't delay…they didn't want to lose their nerve.

The Captain's door was open, but Elliot knocked to get Cragen's attention. The Captain looked up and saw them standing there and he motioned them in. Olivia walked in first, and moved into the room. Elliot walked in behind her, and closed the door behind him. That got Cragen's attention, and he leaned back in his chair as Elliot stood in front of the door.

"What can I do for you two?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Elliot glanced over at Olivia, and saw she was looking at him, and everything they were going to say flew out of his mind. She looked uncertain, and he started to wonder if she had changed her mind. Surely, she had to know that changing course now was not an option.

"I'm assuming that the fact that you're in my office…" Cragen lifted his arm to look at his watch. "at 7:30AM, means there was something you needed to tell me before your meeting with the detectives from the 1-2."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah."

Cragen shook his head. "So, you lied to me."

"What?" Elliot said.

"I asked you point blank if you knew Logan was out on bail and you both told me no." Cragen said, pushing himself up from his chair.

"Cap'n." Elliot tried to interject.

"Now this is going to bite us all in the ass." Cragen said. "I told the Captain from the 12th that neither one of you knew anything about this and now you're telling me…"

Elliot tried to interrupt again but Cragen kept talking. He wasn't even looking at either one of them as he rambled on.

"Damn it. Tell me you just beat the crap out of him and that he was alive when you left him."

It was Olivia's voice that finally got him to stop talking…to look up at them.

"Elliot didn't touch Logan." She said, raising her voice. She found it a bit ironic that she had accused Elliot of the same thing, and now she was defending him. "We didn't lie to you Captain." Olivia looked over at Elliot. "We didn't know Logan was out."

Cragen stood for a moment, looking at her, and she knew he was trying to determine if they were covering for each other…if they were telling the truth. He must have decided he believed her, because he let out a sigh and fell back into his chair. "Well. Then what the hell are you doing in my office?" he asked.

Olivia lost her nerve, because now Cragen seemed annoyed, when instead he should be feeling relieved. She looked back over at Elliot as he started to talk.

"Do they honestly think Olivia and I had anything to do with Logan's murder?" he asked. He needed to ease into this confession.

Cragen shook his head slightly. "Honestly? I don't know." He picked up a pen from his desk and fiddled with it. "I can't imagine they do…but you have some marks in your jacket Elliot. And you both have history with the victim. So, they're going to have to take it seriously. They're going to question you thoroughly, and check out your alibis." He looked at Elliot. "I hope you're going to tell me you were with your kids…" He swiveled to look at Olivia. "And that you were out on a date or with friends. Something nice and public with lots of witnesses."

"About that…" Elliot started.

Cragen put up his hand. "Don't tell me…you were both home in your apartments. Alone. God, I hope they have DNA or something from the real doer."

Elliot let out a sound of frustration. Cragen was making this so much more difficult than it had to be.

Olivia spoke up. "Captain. "She had been quiet up to this point, so now she had his attention. "I was at my apartment the night Logan was killed…but Elliot was with me."

Cragen didn't react.

Olivia went on. "He was there with me all night."

Cragen furrowed his brow, obviously trying to process what Olivia had said.

"He's been at my apartment every night for the past five weeks." Olivia added. She figured she would save him from asking the inevitable...help him put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Cragen's head sagged slightly as he looked down at his desk. Olivia looked over at Elliot, but saw he had his attention focused on Cragen, so she returned her gaze to Cragen too. She couldn't tell if he was surprised or just resigned, and she felt like she should say something else.

Before she could say anything, Cragen lifted his look and looked back and forth between them. Elliot shifted on his feet, feeling like a teenager who was about to get a lecture from his girlfriend's father.

"Well, that's just great." Cragen said with a heavy sigh.

"We didn't mean for this to happen…" Olivia started.

"This has been happening for years…" Cragen interrupted, shaking his head. "I should have split you two up a long time ago, but I was stupid. I didn't want to lose my best team."

Elliot took a step forward. "See, that proves we can work together, despite how we feel…" Elliot said, hoping to save their partnership.

"You're sleeping with your partner!" Cragen snapped, cutting him off.

Olivia's skin flushed at his comment.

"This is all going to come out. The minute you tell the detectives that your only alibi is each other…that you've been having an illicit affair, what do you think's going to happen? It's completely against regs. And I didn't know about. Damn it." He was up and out of his chair again.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, but didn't say anything as Cragen braced his hands on his desk and stared down at the papers there. A half minute had passed, and he looked back up at them. "I'm not even sure how this is all going to play out." He was about to say something else when there was a knock on the door. Whoever was on the other side didn't wait for a reply, and they all looked up as the two detectives walked into his office, accompanied by their Captain.

"Captain." Captain Doyle nodded as he walked in. "This is Detective Stone and Detective Allen." He said and he looked at Elliot and Olivia. "I assume these are the detectives we're looking for?" He raised his eyebrows as he said it, and Oliva thought he had already concluded they were guilty of something. Maybe it was her own guilty conscience. Having to tell Cragen that she was sleeping with Elliot was a lot worse than she had expected. She felt like she had disappointed him somehow.

"I appreciate you coming down here to talk to them." Cragen said. "We've got room 1 and 2 open."

Doyle nodded. "Not a problem." He looked between Elliot and Olivia. "We're going to talk to Detective Stabler first." He said.

Elliot looked up at her and his eyes connected. He was trying to tell her it was going to be OK but she had an unsettled look in her eye, and he knew it was going to be hard for her to wait out his interrogation. "Let's get this over with." He said, leading the parade out of Cragen's office.

Olivia started to follow, but Cragen stopped her. "Olivia. You know you can't listen in."

"I know."

"You can stay in here if you want."

Olivia shook her head. "I'll just be at my desk." She watched as Cragen walked towards the interrogation room and she stood rooted in place until he was out of sight. She sighed as she walked back to her desk and she sat down heavily in her chair.

"Lot going on this morning." Munch said.

Olivia wanted to roll her eyes at his attempt to get information out of her. "You have no idea."

EOEOEOEO

Three hours had passed before they were done questioning Elliot and Olivia, and they hadn't had a chance to talk in private. They were nervously anchored to their desks…Captain's orders…as Captain Doyle talked to Cragen in a closed-door meeting and Stone and Allen loitered in the interrogation room.

Oliva stiffened when Cragen's door opened, and she saw Doyle walk out, collecting his detectives before he headed out the door. Cragen was standing in the doorway of his office, and Olivia thought he looked beaten down…tired. She felt badly that she and Elliot had been the cause of it.

"My office." He said before he turned and walked back inside, and Elliot and Olivia got up slowly.

"You guys are in the shit today." Fin said. "Liv, I'm withdrawing my offer." He looked over at Elliot. "Unless it's Stabler that fucked things up. Then I say, OK."

Olivia shot him a dirty look and Fin went back to looking at the stack on his desk as she passed by. Elliot closed the door behind her as she entered, and it seemed like déjà vu. She was tired and emotionally exhausted, and she really didn't want to hear what Cragen was going to say.

"Sit down." He instructed and they both did as he asked.

"Well, I'll give you the good news first." Cragen said. "They seem to be buying your alibi, so you may be the hook when it comes to Logan. Nothing's for sure yet, but they figure someone would have come up with a better alibi rather than admitting to something with such dire consequences." He shook his head. "Anyway, whatever their reasons, they're looking elsewhere and I expect that'll probably be the end of it."

"That's great." Elliot said. He couldn't believe there was even a question, but it was good to know they didn't have to worry about it anymore. He wondered what other evidence they had, because if he was in the same situation, he didn't know if he would have given up so easily. But it really didn't matter anymore.

"You may be off the hook with the 1-2, but not with me." He shook his head. "I wish you would have come to me. IAB is going to get involved now…it will be in Allen's report."

"What's going to happen?" Olivia asked.

"Honestly, I don't know." Cragen said. "At the very least, you can't remain partners."

Olivia and Elliot both suspected that much.

"You're going to get a rip for sure. Maybe 10 days without pay…maybe more. One of you may have to leave the squad."

Olivia felt her stomach drop slightly. She and Elliot had discussed that possibility, but she had really hoped it wouldn't come to that. "Is there any way we can both stay?"

"You're not in a great position to be asking for special treatment." Cragen snapped. He let out a sound of frustration.

"I know." Olivia said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"If we had been ahead of this, I may have been able to do something. To work this out without anyone else getting involved but now…"

"Cap'n." Elliot said. "If someone needs to leave, it's going to be me."

"El, we never decided that." Olivia said, shocked at his statement. They had argued about it, and then had decided to see what happened before they jumped to any conclusions.

"Stop." Cragen said, raising his hand. "I don't want to lose either one of you." He admitted. "But it may be out of my hands." He stood up. "But for now…consider yourself on vacation. I don't want you here, especially if IAB is going to come looking for you."

"For how long?" Elliot asked.

"Until I tell you to come back."


	29. Chapter 29

AN: Sorry, it's kind of a short chapter. But wanted to get an update out. Have a great weekend!

EOEOEOEOEO

It had been a long afternoon at Olivia's apartment and both Olivia and Elliot had been unsettled, moving around the apartment wordlessly, trying to deal with the emotional aftermath of their morning. It wasn't the tongue-lashing from Cragen, it wasn't the impending IAB scrutiny, or even the anticipated suspension. It was the harsh reality of the imminent end of their partnership. No matter what either thought the future might hold for them, their partnership was what their relationship had been built on. It was what they knew. A comfortable blanket of actions and activities, emotions and thoughts that they both knew…both relied on. They knew how to act in that space. The thought of that comfortable blanket being ripped away made them both feel raw…exposed.

They both avoided talking about anything meaningful, instead attending to basic needs and small talk. _Are you hungry? Do you mind if we watch the baseball game?_

Olivia pushed herself up off the couch with a huff and walked off towards the bedroom, and Elliot heard the bedroom door close behind her. He picked up the remote control and lowered the volume, muting out the announcer calling the play-by-play on the game. He debated about following her...did she want to talk or be left alone? He decided to leave her alone for about 15 minutes, and if she didn't come back out, he would see if she was doing okay.

Elliot got wrapped up in the game, and almost a half an hour had gone by when he checked the time. He got up hastily, and walked over to the closed bedroom door. He knocked lightly, and when she didn't answer, he opened the door a crack. Olivia was curled up on the bed, lying on her side with her knees pulled up slightly. She had her arms tangled up close to her chest, and it reminded him of a defensive posture someone might take that was under attack. Despite her pose, her eyes were closed and she seemed to be sleeping, her hair falling over her cheek. Elliot took a few steps into the room, trying not to wake her, and he stopped when he saw the tear tracks down her cheeks. He felt like an ass then. He knew that deep down, he hadn't followed her because he didn't want to talk…it was still raw for him too. But looking at her tear-stained cheeks, he knew he should have followed her in…forced her to talk. Everything felt fragile right now, and they need to keep the lines of communication open more than ever, or they might not be able to withstand the tremendous changes in store…the things that threatened to rip them apart. He felt an enormous sense of responsibility now, and he turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke and it was dark in the room. It threw her off-kilter as her mind tried to piece together where she was…what was going on. Then it all came rushing back. The morning. Cragen. Stone and Allen. IAB.

She brushed her hair back from her face, and stretched out. She had been sleeping for almost three hours, and her body was slightly stiff from lying in the same position. Her eyes were adjusting to the dark and she could see the bedroom door was still closed. She was a little surprised that Elliot had let her sleep this long, but she knew he was probably going through some emotional turmoil himself and was probably avoiding a long talk. She let out a sigh…they had some tough discussions ahead of them. But she was kind of happy that they both recognized that today was not the day.

She pushed herself up and then got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror, she could see the tear tracks on her face, and she splashed water on her face to get rid of them. She used the bathroom and then brushed her teeth, trying to clear the fog from her brain from her extended nap. She was a little mad at herself, because she was never going to be able to fall asleep tonight, but the emotions of the day had been taxing. She must have needed the sleep.

Olivia opened the bedroom door quietly, unsure of what she was going to find on the other side. Elliot may have fallen asleep too…maybe he even left. That thought sent a slight chill through her because he had pretty much been there for the past five weeks, so she didn't know where the thought had come from. As she rounded the corner, she saw him sitting on the couch, talking on the phone quietly. He smiled at her and held up his hand, as if the say he'd be off in a minute, and Olivia stopped, standing near the opposite end of the couch.

"OK. Yes, I said I would." Elliot said with a little scowl on his face. "I know." He glanced back at Olivia and rolled his eyes and she decided he was most likely talking to Kathy. She didn't want to appear to be listening in, so she turned and headed towards the kitchen to get something to drink. A few seconds later, she heard him say goodbye.

Elliot walked into the kitchen and saw Olivia reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water. She was still wearing her work clothes…black pants and a long sleeved burgundy blouse…that were now rumpled from sleep. As she turned to face him, he could see she was still half-awake, and he smiled. "Hey sleepyhead." He teased lightly, taking a step towards her and brushing her hair back from her face. "I thought maybe you were going to sleep the night away."

"I can't believe I slept that long. You should have woken me up." She said, and then took a long drink of water.

Elliot shook his head. "Why? We're on vacation."

Olivia tilted her head. "Not really."

"That's what Cragen said. You're on vacation." Elliot challenged, knowing that she wouldn't argue it. "Besides, with all the hours you've put in this past year, and the little sleep you've gotten, you could probably sleep for two weeks and still not catch up."

Olivia had to smile because it was true. She never felt like she got enough sleep, and now that Elliot was living with her, even that small amount of sleep had been impacted.

"So, I was thinking…" Elliot said. He put his hands on her waist and pushed her body back slightly until she was pressed up against the counter. He saw Olivia give him her famous look of skepticism…with one eyebrow raised and her eyes wary. "Since we're on vacation…"

Olivia rolled her eyes, wondering what he had cooked up.

"Let's go away."

Olivia hadn't been expecting that. "What?"

"Let's go away for a few days. You and me."

"You mean…leave Manhattan?"

"I know you're born and raised Liv, but there is life outside of the city." Elliot joked.

Olivia slapped him playfully on the arm. "I know that. But _can_ we leave?"

"I have a pass to get past the city limits…" Elliot's mood was considerably brighter since he'd had the idea of taking Olivia away for a while. "I used it for a long time to get to Queens, but they hadn't revoked it."

"You're not funny." Olivia said with another eyeroll.

Elliot leaned in and kissed her nose, pressing his fingers into her hips. "I'm _very_ funny. And cute too."

Olivia shook her head, not confirming either of the two. "I meant, can we leave, as in…IAB wants to talk to us and maybe the 1-2 isn't done with us."

"No one told us we couldn't leave town. Cragen told us we're on vacation until further notice."

Olivia looked skeptical, so Elliot forged ahead.

"C'mon Liv." Elliot lifted his hands and rested them on her shoulders. He leaned down, looking into her eyes. "When's the last time you had a vacation? And I don't mean taking a day off and hanging around here. I mean a real vacation."

"I don't know." She admitted. She didn't know if she had ever been on a real vacation, as Elliot described.

Elliot pressed his lips against hers lightly, and then gave her a kiss on the forehead. He left his lips pressed lightly against her forehead as he spoke. "We can sleep in and order room service. We can sit in an outdoor bar and get drunk on overpriced drinks with stupid names. We can forget the outside world and lay in bed and make love all day if we want. No victims. No suspects. No crime scenes or interrogations." He pulled his mouth from her skin and leaned back slightly, looking back at her face. Olivia had a small smile on her face and he took that as a good sign. "Whaddaya' think?"

Olivia's smiled widened and she laughed at his earnestness. "I think you had me at room service."

Elliot released her then, happy that she had agreed. "Yes! That's my girl." He said. He looked left and then right, as if searching for something, and then leaned against the opposite counter. "OK. So, where should we go?" He was trying to contain his excitement, but now that she had agreed, he wanted to just go.

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe we can find a little spot out on Long Island…"

"Long Island?" Elliot said, furrowing his brows. "Long Island?" he repeated. "No no no no no." he clapped his hands together. "Baby, you have to think bigger." He said.

It was Olivia's turn to furrow her brows together. "Baby? Didn't we talk about that?"

"Stay on topic Liv." Elliot teased. "Let's go somewhere warm."

"It's summer." Liv said matter-of-factly. "It's hot here." She was purposefully being difficult because she loved Elliot's reaction.

"Nice." Elliot said, not missing a beat. "I mean somewhere hot. Where there's a white sandy beach and turquoise water. And where you'll be wearing a bikini." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Olivia rolled her eyes again. "You can't handle me in a bikini." She teased.

"You're probably right. I'm only going to want to take it _off_." He growled as he moved back over to where she was standing.

Olivia threw her arms around his neck and pushed herself up on her toes so she could kiss him. "Well, if that's the case, then the beach it is."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had only ever dreamed of a tropical vacation, and the thought of spending five days in paradise with Olivia was even better than his dreams. Cragen had initially balked a little at them leaving the country, but there was really no reason to keep them from going. They both had enough vacation time, and their situation could be addressed when they returned. Elliot thought Cragen was slightly relieved when it was all said and done…he probably didn't want to deal with it either.

Elliot glanced over at Olivia in the airplane seat next to him. She was wearing a simple white sundress that was stark against her dark skin. Sitting next to him, it rode up, and showed off a lot of leg. Which was fine for him, but he didn't appreciate the appreciative glances she was getting from some of the men sitting around them. He almost wanted to ask her to switch seats with him, so she was by the window and he was in the aisle of their two-seat row, but he had no real reason to ask her, and she would have clobbered him if she knew why.

As if reading his mind, at that very moment, she arched her back and stretched, and he let out an internal groan at how her dress strained at her breasts. Now that he'd had sex with Olivia, he felt like he walked around with a permanent hard-on sometimes. He had been naïve enough at one point to think that maybe if he could have her just once…but that was pure craziness. Because once you knew what lay beneath that clothing…once you knew what sounds she made when she came…God, he wanted her all the time.

Luckily, she was a willing participant. A _very_ willing participant.

"What are you smiling about over there?" Olivia asked, and he broke out of his reverie and looked over at her.

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh." She looked down at his pants pointedly and Elliot shifted in his seat.

"You can't blame me for that." He said. "That's all your fault."

"We have another hour and a half on the flight. Do you think you can manage until we get to the hotel?" she teased.

Elliot leaned a little closer. "You a member of the mile-high club Liv?"

"No." Olivia said, shaking her head. "And I don't want to be."

"You're no fun." Elliot said, giving her a fake pout.

She laughed at him. He was so damned cute…those blue eyes…those pouty lips. It almost made her want to join him in that tiny airplane bathroom. "That's not what you said last night." She quipped back and that got a laugh out of Elliot.

"Well…last night was a new adventure. I'll never look at a bottle of chocolate syrup the same way again."


	30. Chapter 30

When they walked off the plane, they were both immediately hit with a wall of heat and blinding sun. The grounds crew was already busy unloading luggage from the plane as they descended the stairs and headed towards customs.

Olivia smiled, loving the feel of the sun on her skin. Even though it was hot in New York in the summer, the sun always felt somewhat filtered, having to fight its way through the tall buildings and the smog of the city. She had her sunglasses in her hand, and quickly donned them, and she looked over at Elliot with quick smile.

"Welcome to Mexico!" Elliot said, matching her grin. He was happy to see the smile on her face, and he could tell that she had relaxed immeasurably since they had boarded the plane at JFK. They had argued a bit about where to go, but had finally settled on Cancun. Olivia had argued against some of the more expensive tropical islands, leaning towards Florida. But Elliot had convinced her that Mexico was just a little more exotic (or a lot more) than Florida, without the price tag. So here they were, showing their passports and answering questions about their stay, with a customs agent. A few minutes later, they were greeted by a driver holding a sign that said _Stabler_ , and he was gathering their luggage and ushering them into a car to take them to their resort.

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulders as they settled in the backseat of the car, and their driver greeted them enthusiastically as he slid into the driver's seat. He peppered them with questions…asking where they were from and how the trip was…and Elliot and Olivia answer politely. A few minutes in, the driver moved from questions to a monologue, filling them in on all the hot spots in town and the amenities of their resort, and Olivia and Elliot caught his enthusiasm, anxious to get there and get their vacation started.

It was mid-afternoon when they arrived, and the sun was still high in the sky. They were assaulted with the heat again after the cool air conditioning in the car, but the moment they walked into the open-air lobby of the hotel, they could feel a breeze from the ocean.

Olivia stopped as they climbed the last few stairs, stunned by the spectacular view. Straight ahead, through an open archway, the pool lay with an assortment of people on lounge chairs, in the water, and seated at the swim-up bar. Beyond that was a beautiful white sand beach, with thatch roofed sun shades and more lounge chairs. Her eyes left the people scattered on the beach to take in the gently rolling waves as they lapped against the shore. The sun was glistening off the water and everything looked so bright…so amazingly beautiful…that it made her eyes ache. She didn't know where to even look. "Oh El…this is beautiful." She said in awe. She had seen photos of places like this, printed on glossy brochures or on posters in travel agency windows. She had dreamed of coming to a place like this someday…but she could barely believe that day was here.

Elliot tangled his fingers in hers and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm glad you like it." He said, a huge grin on his face. He had never been anyplace this luxurious either, and he was glad that he had been able to find this gem. Olivia had been worried about the cost, since they had agreed that she would pay for airfare and he would pay for the resort. But he assured her he had gotten a good last minute deal, and he had.

"This is too expensive." She said predictably. "You can't afford this." She turned her head to look at him with a small scowl on his face.

"The twins don't need to go to college." He joked, and he saw her scowl deepen. Elliot shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I got a good deal." He put his right hand over his heart. "I swear." He dropped his hand. He was about to tell her that he was happy he could spoil her a little, but they were interrupted by a man in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. He was carrying a tray with two tropical drinks, complete with paper umbrellas and a spear of fresh fruit.

"Welcome to Nirvana." He said, with a smile. He handed Olivia the first drink and Elliot the second. Then he pulled a bright orange hibiscus from the tray and leaned over, tucking it behind Olivia's right ear. "A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman." He said. He stepped back and looked at both. "The bellman is taking your bags to your bungalow. Please follow me for a short tour, and then you can start your stay in paradise."

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and smirked at the canned speech and over exaggerated the man was, but they followed him as he led them towards the pool, explaining that everything was included in their stay. Food, alcohol, water sports, and entertainment. He pointed out the dive shop and the spa, the restaurants and bars, and they ended back in the lobby after only 15 minutes. A younger man was there, ready to take them to their bungalow, and a waiter handed each of them a fresh drink and whisked away their half empty glasses.

Olivia took a sip of the frozen concoction. "I think I'm going to like this place."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stood on the balcony of their second-floor room, taking in the palm trees, the beach and the amazing color of the ocean. A light breeze ruffled her hair, and felt good against the light sheen of sweat on her skin due to the heat. The balcony was shaded, which gave her some respite, and she took the last sips of her drink.

She heard Elliot moving around in the room behind her, and she turned to face the room, looking in through the open French doors. The room had a king-sized bed on the left, and a small couch, chair and coffee table on the right. The bathroom was on the opposite wall, across from where she was standing now. She saw Elliot unpacking and stuffing things into the bureau drawers, directly to the left of the bathroom door. He turned, as if he felt her gaze on him, and smiled back at her. He turned and grabbed his empty suitcase and stuffed it into the closet.

"Done." He said, his eyes flitting to her drink and then back to her eyes. "I'm ready for a swim." He said, peeling off his t-shirt. "And a beer." He knew they were in the tropics, but those frozen concoctions weren't really his style.

Olivia's eyes dropped down to his chest, trailing down to where his cargo shorts were slung low on his hips. If she was a betting person, she would guess he didn't have any underwear on underneath those shorts, and she thought about the semi he was sporting on the plane. She felt a tightening low in her belly and she thought, not for the first time, about how this man affected her. She had always loved sex, but there was something about the way Elliot made love to her…fucked her…owned her and surrendered to her…that left her in a constant state of _need_ when confronted with his raw sexuality.

"El." She said, her voice coming out as a hoarse whisper. She walked towards him, setting her empty glass on the coffee table. She slid her right hand under the left strap of her sundress and started to slide it down her shoulder, and Olivia saw Elliot smirk at her. When she had closed the gap between them, he pressed his lips to the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder, and then trailed his tongue across her shoulder. Olivia shivered as he rested his hands on her waist, and she dropped her head back, giving him full access to her bare neck and the swell of her breasts.

Elliot kissed his way back across her shoulder…slow, open-mouthed kisses…until he worked his way up to her ear. He bit her earlobe lightly and then whispered in her ear. "You should have joined the mile-high club." He said. "Get your suit on."

Olivia let out a moan as he lifted his mouth away from her ear. "Your turning me down?" She asked incredulously. They were usually both helpless when it came to each other's needs and desires.

"I'm taking a raincheck." He said. "Swim. Drinks. Food." He slid his hands down to her ass. "We've got all night baby." He squeezed gently. "And it's a good thing you slept on the plane because you're going to be up all night." Elliot released her then, and she swayed slightly with the loss of his body holding her. Elliot furrowed his brow slightly. "You OK?" he asked.

"I'm fine." Olivia said, still aroused and a little miffed that he had turned her down.

"Maybe those drinks were a little too strong."

"I'm fine El." Olivia said, brushing by him. She dug in her suitcase until she found what she was looking for and headed towards the bathroom. "How about I meet you down at the beach? You can save some chairs for us." She walked into the bathroom and started to close the door. At the last minute, she turned around, peeking out from the crack in the door. "And get me another one of those drinks."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia wandered down the stairs from their room, and out on to the beach. She paused for a moment, taking it all in. The water was an almost unbelievable turquoise blue, and the small waves made a comforting sound as they crashed into the beach. There were people lounging in chairs, under thatched roof overhangs or in the water, and there were others walking along the white sand. White uniformed waiters and waitresses were delivering trays of drinks and food along the beach. Off to the right, at the far end, a sand volleyball game was going, close to the dive shop. Olivia looked left and saw the pool, with another assortment of people lounging around, or sitting at the pool bar. She couldn't help smiling…this truly was paradise…and she could feel herself getting more and more relaxed by the minutes.

Olivia scanned the beach again, this time looking for Elliot. She didn't see him, so she walked farther out onto the beach, juggling her book and bottle of sunscreen as she slipped on her sunglasses and adjusted her floppy straw hat. Moments later, she spotted Elliot. He was leaning back in a lounge chair, with one arm resting above his head and his legs crossed at the ankle in front of him. He was wearing dark sunglasses as well, and he had a big smile on his face. He looked as if he had adjusted quickly to vacation life, and normally, Olivia would be happy that to see the smile on his face…except that right now, that smile was for the young woman standing near the end of his lounge chair. Olivia took her in…blonde hair…impossibly thin… with big boobs stuffed into a tiny, electric blue bikini. Olivia laughed when she saw the girl flip her hair back...she could have almost predicted it. A year ago, she would have probably been jealous to see someone flirting with Elliot, and to see him seemingly enjoying it. But she felt more confident than she ever had in her life, and she walked towards them to claim her place next to Elliot.

"Seems like I can't leave you alone for a minute." She said as she reached them, brushing right by the girl as she dropped her things on the lounge chair next to Elliot. They were both surprised…it was obvious they hadn't seen her approach.

She turned and looked at the young woman…who was even younger than she had thought…and saw the smile on her face fade as she took in Olivia. She looked back at Elliot and then back at Olivia, pasting a fake smile on her face.

"Hi. I'm Jenny." She said, offering a hand to Olivia. "Nice to meet you."

Olivia ignored her and glanced over at Elliot. Elliot's focus was on her…he seemed to have completely forgotten Jenny. She turned back to Jenny. "Bye." She said. Olivia wanted to laugh again when she saw the young girls face. She was almost certain this girl was used to getting the attention of anyone she wanted, and didn't know how to respond to Olivia's abrupt dismissal. The young blonde dropped the smile.

"Ok. Well, I'll see you around Elliot." She said, glancing back at him before she turned and walked away.

Elliot was watching the interaction between the two. Olivia was definitely staking out her territory and even though he hadn't been trying to make her jealous, he loved how she handled the young woman. Many woman would have been intimidated by the young woman…with her lithe body and open sexuality. Even a few months ago, Olivia may have handled it differently. But now, she seemed confident in her role as the woman in his life. That confidence made her glow, and standing there in front of him, he was again struck by how amazingly beautiful she was.

"Making friends I see." Olivia said. She wasn't surprised. The man was ridiculously built…his broad chest and tight abs on full display. His blue swim trunks were sitting low on his waist and even though there were lots of young men out on the beach, Elliot's sparkling blue eyes and self-assurance made him overwhelmingly attractive and approachable.

"Girl thought I looked lonely." He said with a smile. Elliot took in her black bikini. "Nice suit." He said. The bikini bottoms had some kind of cutouts on each side, making it look like three small strings were holding them together and showing her bare skin in between. The top portion had similar cutouts across the swell of her breasts, and he couldn't help thinking that the first cutout had to be damned close to her nipple. Two thin straps tied behind her neck, and he thought about pulling that string loose…

"Thanks." She had gone shopping for a new swimsuit…something she hated doing. She had tried on at least twenty of them, and had hesitated on getting this one. It showed a lot of skin, and normally she wasn't big on showing off her body in public. Maybe it was a result of her job. But she had changed her mind when she imagined Elliot's reaction, and when she realized this vacation was a chance to let go…to relax and enjoy…to revel in spending time with him. She set her things on the small table between the chairs and settled herself in her chair.

"No kiss?" Elliot asked, leaning towards her in the chair.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him as she looked at him. "Now you want a kiss?" she asked, alluding to his comments in their room. "Maybe blue bikini can help you out with that." She said, peeling her hat off and settling back in the lounge chair. She had to bite back a smile…she hadn't been able to resist teasing him.

Elliot chuckled as he sat back. He knew she was teasing him, and he loved the playfulness of it.

They were interrupted by a young waiter. He handed Olivia another tropical drink…blue this time…and a beer for Elliot.

Olivia took a sip. "I could definitely get used to this."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot and Olivia had managed to spend a couple hours on the beach before they had to get ready for dinner. The main restaurant was a large open air patio, and they managed to get a table that looked out over the water. There was a small stage on one end, and after dinner, everyone rearranged the tables and they watched as some lovely young woman sand, and a dance troupe performed. It had been a long, wonderful day, and despite an underlying level of fatigue brought on by travel, the sun and alcohol, Elliot had convinced Olivia to take a stroll on the beach.

Olivia was holding her sandals in her right hand, and her left hand was grasped in Elliot's. The water lapped at her feet and she let out a startled laugh at how cold it felt.

"I love hearing you laugh." Elliot said. Olivia had an infectious laugh, and most of the time, he didn't hear it often enough. "I think I've heard you laugh more in the last couple of weeks than I have in…years."

"You're right." Olivia said. "I guess I haven't had much reason to laugh…until now." She squeezed Elliot's hand. "I'm happy." Olivia stopped and Elliot stopped alongside her. He turned to face her, and she placed her open hand on his chest. Olivia looked up at him with a big smile. "You…you make me happy." She said. She lifted herself up on her toes, tipping her head back for a kiss. Elliot pressed his lips against hers, and Olivia slipped her arms around his neck.

Elliot released her hand, and wrapped one arm around her waist as he cupped the back of her head with his other hand. He tilted his head, grasping her lip between his and kissing her gently. "I love you." He murmured against her mouth. He slid his tongue between her lips and she made a small sound as his tongue touched hers. Their kisses became more heated and Elliot slid his hand down to her ass, pulling her body against his. Olivia pressed against him enthusiastically, and she felt him start to falter. She grabbed at his shoulders, but he lost his footing in the loose sand, and he fell backwards, taking her with him. She landed on top of him, her elbow connecting with his stomach, and he let out a small "oomph". Olivia tried to scramble off him. "I'm sorry." She said with a gasp, and then started laughing as she rolled over on her back next to him.

Elliot caught his breath and then started laughing with her. "Jeez Benson." He huffed out. He rolled over and lifted his body so he hovered over her, his knees straddling her thighs and his forearms resting next to her shoulders. "I know you're anxious but…" He dropped his mouth against hers and kissed her roughly, but he felt her hands push against his chest. He lifted his head and looked down at her.

"Anxious? I was just going for a walk." She said, pushing against his chest.

"Hmmm." Elliot grabbed one of her hands and pinned it against the sand and kissed her again. Olivia pushed against his hold on her and he worried for a moment if she really wanted him to let her go, but then he felt her free hand snake beneath his shirt and rake up his back. He opened her mouth to him and kissed her deeply, letting out a small groan as she lifted her hips and grazed over the front of his shorts.

Elliot lowered his body against hers, careful not to crush her. He released her hand then, and ran his hand lightly down over her shoulder, toying with the strap of her sundress. His hand slid lower until he was grasping her breast. He could feel her peaked nipple through the thin material of her dress, and he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. He slid his hand beneath the fabric, and Olivia let out a moan as he squeezed her gently, running this thumb over her nipple.

Olivia broke the kiss, throwing her head back and arching her back as he continued to tease her. She lifted her hips up again, wanting more contact with his body. She reached down and grabbed at his belt, tugging at hit ineffectively. "Elliot." She said, her voice a mixture of a moan and a whisper. "Room. Now."


	31. Chapter 31

AN: In the spirit of their vacation, here is just a short update. I know people probably weren't happy with where I left things at the end of the last chapter! Hopefully I'll have another update tonight or tomorrow.

EOEOEOEOEO

They were barely inside the room before Olivia had her hands wrapped around Elliot's belt. Elliot pressed her up against the wall, attacking her neck as she pulled the leather through the buckle. A few seconds later, she was tugging his shorts down his hips, taking his briefs with them. Elliot had her pinned to the wall, so she used her foot to drag them down his legs. She slid her hands around and dug her fingers into his muscled ass, pulling him up against her and pinning his erection between them. Elliot let out a grunt at their bodies made contact, and then he untied the string behind Olivia's neck, letting the halter top of her sun dress fall, exposing her breasts. He pinned one of her shoulders to the wall as he let his tongue slide down lazily over her breast, and he took her in his mouth. Olivia was forced to drop her hands as he dropped lower, and she pressed her head against the wall and let out a moan as he bit down lightly on her nipple.

"Gah…" She closed her eyes, loving the feel of his mouth against her skin…the nip of his teeth against her sensitive nipple…the feel of his hand as he slid it up her bare thigh. She felt another pang in her belly as he bit down again and she was wet…so wet. Elliot fell to his knees, running his hands down the side of her breasts, pushing the sundress down past her hips as he placed open-mouthed kisses down her abdomen. Olivia sucked in a breath…the muscles in her stomach contracting…as Elliot's tongue circled her belly button, and she silently urged him lower. This slow pace…this languid exploration of her body with his mouth…was incredibly erotic. But Olivia wanted more. She wanted him to touch her…she wanted to feel him moving inside of her. "Elliot." She gasped out.

Elliot ignored her, and he felt her as she pushed at his shoulders with her hands. But her movements were weak…ineffectual. Which was good, because he had no intention of stopping. His mouth reached the edge of her panties, and trailed his tongue along the edge of the waistband, feeling Olivia's body shudder beneath him. Olivia tried to press her hips forward, but he used his hands to pin them to the wall, and he heard her make a sound of protest as he trailed his tongue downwards, over the silk. He pressed his tongue against her…the wetness making the material of her underwear virtually useless. Elliot slid one hand down the inside of her thigh, and pushed slightly, urging her to widen her stance. Olivia complied, giving him greater access, and he sucked at her clit through the material while he slipped his fingers beneath the seam of her panties, groaning against her as his fingers slid through her liquid heat.

Olivia moaned as Elliot teased her with his mouth. She could feel his fingers at her entrance, but Elliot still had her pinned and she couldn't move. "God…" she moaned. And then Elliot's fingers were inside of her. Twisting…turning…pumping inside of her, as his tongue continued against her clit. The friction from the material was maddening and she could feel her orgasm building. God…this man and his mouth…his hands. She was gasping now, her arms turned inward as she tried to grasp at the wall…anything to try to keep her legs from buckling beneath her. But it was too late…blinding, white heat tore through her and she was falling…gasping…moaning. Elliot hand at her waist held her in place for a moment, and then he pulled out of her and he was standing up, holding her as she tried to recover. He was placing gentle kisses on her forehead and whispering sweet things in her ear as he held her and she felt overwhelmed with how he loved her.

Olivia was still weakened from her orgasm when Elliot lifted her up, cradling her in his arms. Olivia's head lolled against his shoulder as she allowed herself to be carried, and then Elliot lay her down gently. She looked up at him lazily, and saw he was still wearing his shirt, with his erection prominently displayed beneath it. She reached out to him, and watched as he unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it on the floor. He fisted his cock as he climbed on the bed, moving between her legs as she moved to accommodate him. He lowered himself over her as he lined himself up with her entrance, and he grasped her lips with his as he entered her. He bit off her moans with his kiss, as he pushed against her body's resistance to him. She was still sensitive from her orgasm, and he could feel her walls tight around him, grabbing at him, almost forcing him to lose control. He released her mouth as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, and they both held their breath as her body adjusted to his intrusion. "God Liv." He whispered…his mouth mere centimeters from hers. He rocked into her gently and the room was filled with their low moans…the sounds of their bodies connecting…and the crash of the waves on the shore, until they both tumbled over the edge together.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot looked over at Olivia as she lay on the lounge chair. Her skin was golden from four days in the sun, and he could see the effects of the last four days in her body. She was completely relaxed. There were no calls in the middle of the night to disturb her sleep…no horrific crime scenes to pore over…no victims tugging at her heart. He wished he could keep her here forever, and he wondered about the toll the job took on her. He knew what they were facing when they got back to New York, and he wondered if he was wrong to offer to move on to something new. Maybe it was time for her to do something else. Maybe they both should.

"Why are you staring at me?" Olivia asked. She could feel Elliot's eyes on her, even though she had her eyes closed.

"Because you're the most beautiful thing on this beach." He said, knowing she wouldn't buy it, and that she wouldn't accept the compliment.

"Uh-huh." Olivia said, never opening her eyes. She couldn't remember a time in her life she had felt so happy…so thoroughly relaxed. Her entire childhood had been one of constant vigilance, gauging her mother's mood and level of intoxication. Her late teens and early twenties had been a constant effort to support herself…forge a path…get through college. And life since then was filled with the police academy and the strain of being a woman in a man's world, amid some of the most horrific crimes imaginable. But here…this truly was paradise. She woke up in Elliot's arms and they made love in the early morning hours, falling back asleep before they finally made their way down for breakfast. They spent their afternoons here, enjoying the sun and the water, drinking just enough to get buzzed, until they couldn't restrain themselves any longer and they retreated to their room. There they were unleashed, fucking in the shower, against the wall, on the floor…wherever they landed when they had managed to strip each off their suits. Then another long nap, followed by romantic dinners and wonderful shows, and long walks on the beach. Or they cozied up in a hammock, rocking and talking, kissing and touching until they bordered on indecent behavior in public. Then they would head back to their room, taking their time with each other, and making love well into the night.

"You are." Elliot said. "I've seen the way the guys look at you."

Olivia turned her head and slid her sunglasses up on top of her head. "I told you, I think this is some kind of swinger's resort." She had been half-joking when she had mentioned it on the second day they were here. "Everyone's just a little too friendly." They'd had a fair share of men and women stop by to talk to them, inviting them to do everything from join in the sand volleyball game to meeting them for dinner. They had declined them all.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "You're just cynical." He chuckled. "Although I didn't like the guy offering you a massage."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "He works for the resort." She said. She dropped her sunglasses back down and turned back towards the beach. "And it was wonderful."

"Only man that should have his hands on you is me." Elliot said, partly teasing, but partly serious. He hadn't liked how the man had held out his arm to her, his eyes sweeping over her body as he pulled her up from the chair and led her down to the outdoor massage table situated under a thatched roof near the beach. Damn masseuse had held her hand all the way there.

Olivia sighed. "I thought we were done talking about this. It was a _massage_ Elliot. You could see me the entire time."

"I know. I was just joking."

"Uh-huh." Olivia smiled. "You shouldn't be jealous anyway. You've had your hands on me most of my waking hours. I can barely walk." That wasn't far from the truth. She was sore…but deliciously so. "I _needed_ that massage." She glanced over at Elliot and saw a big smile on his face, and she knew he was feeling pretty proud of himself. She rolled her eyes again, but Elliot couldn't see it behind her sunglasses. God save her from the male ego.

"Well, if you need another massage, just let me know. I'll be happy to give you one." He leaned over and grabbed the edge of her chair, tugging it towards him. "And this one will have a happy ending."


	32. Chapter 32

AN: No, the last chapter was not the end, and neither is this one. We're close, but I will let you know when it's over! As always, thanks for reading.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot could feel the change in Olivia's breathing, and he knew she was starting to wake up. His arm was snaked up between her breasts and he gave her a light squeeze.

"Good morning." He whispered when he felt her start to shift slightly. Elliot buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply.

"Mmmm." Olivia mumbled. One thing she had learned about Elliot over the past month or so was that he was a morning person…quick to wake up. She, on the other hand, was not. Sometimes she found his cheerfulness in the morning a little annoying.

Elliot loosened his grip on her, and slipped his right hand down to her right hip, resting it there. "Our last day in paradise." He said in a teasing tone, but his smile disappeared when he felt her body tense.

Olivia started to slip from his grasp, pushing his hand off her hip as she sat up. Elliot watched as she sat with her back to him, a lighter strip of skin across her back from the strap of her swimsuit. "Hey." He said, running his fingers lightly down her bare skin. Olivia tensed and pushed her right shoulder backwards, and he dropped his hand, getting the hint. "Hey." He said, pushing himself up on his left arm and pulling himself a little closer to her. "What's wrong?" He lay his right hand on the bed next to her, but was careful not to touch her.

Olivia shook her head quickly. "Nothing."

Her quick reply and the shake of her head told Elliot she was lying. "Liv."

Olivia stood up quickly. "I just have to pee."

Elliot watched as her naked form disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind her. He heard the lock, a sure sign that she wanted to be alone. Elliot flopped back down on the bed, trying to think through everything that had happened last night. He honestly couldn't think of anything. They'd had a wonderful day…much like all the others. She had been fine when they had finally drifted off to sleep. And it was too early in the morning for him to have fucked anything up yet. Elliot threw one arm over his eyes and let out a sigh. Since he had no idea why she was upset, there was no way for him to fix it. He was stuck with waiting her out.

He lifted his arm when he heard the lock pop, and saw Olivia walking out of the bathroom, tying the sash of a white, silky robe. She didn't look at him as she passed the bed. "I really don't feel like going down to breakfast this morning." She said. She kept walking towards the open doors of the balcony. "Maybe we can just order room service." She disappeared behind the flowing curtains that were flapping softly with the light morning breeze.

"Um. Sure." Elliot said sitting up. He wasn't even sure if she heard him, but he assumed she was leaving it up to him to order. His cargo shorts were lying on a chair and he grabbed them and pulled them on. The phone was near the bed, so he sat down and grabbed the receiver, ordering coffee and breakfast for two. After he hung up, he sat on the edge of the bed, trying to give her some space. But after a few minutes, he couldn't take it anymore and he stood up and walked to the doors. When he pulled the curtains back, he saw Olivia leaning against the balcony with her arms outstretched. Elliot walked out and stood next to her, mimicking her stance.

The sun was still working its way up in the morning sky, promising another beautiful day. There were a few people running along the beach, and hotel workers were rearranging chairs and cleaning up the beach, preparing for another busy day.

Elliot took it all in for a minute, stealing a glance over at Olivia. After a few minutes, he broke the silence. "Breakfast should be here in a little while."

"Good." She said, never looking at him.

Elliot sighed, and pushed himself off the railing. "Liv…" He turned around and leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Then look at me." He leaned over slightly, trying to catch her eye. Olivia finally looked over at him…a sideways glance under a wave of hair…and then she looked away.

"Olivia." He reached out and touched her lightly on the shoulder. "Talk to me."

Olivia let out a breath, like she'd been holding it in, and turned sideways to face him. She leaned her hip against the railing and fiddled with the sash of her robe. "I just…I don't…" She let out another heavy sigh. "I don't want to go back."

"I know. I could get used to this." Elliot flashed a smile.

Olivia shook her head slightly and looked down at the ground. "No. I mean…" She looked back up at Elliot. "I don't want to go back to New York."

Elliot hesitated for a minute, trying to figure out exactly what she was saying. He remembered how she tensed up when he said it was their last day. It must have brought back the reality of the situation they were facing when they got back. "We have a lot of tough decisions to make."

Olivia raked her hand through hair. "Yeah." She swallowed hard. "It just feels like the end. Working with you…it's what I've known for so long. I'm proud of everything we've accomplished. We were good as partners El. Maybe even great."

Elliot nodded as she spoke.

"I don't know if I can do this job without you." Olivia said. She had been trying not to think about what would happen when they got back to the city, but Elliot's words this morning had forced her to face reality.

"Of course you can." Elliot said. He paused for a second before he spoke again, watching as Olivia shook her head again and looked back out towards the beach. "But did you ever think that maybe this _should_ be the end? That maybe it's time to do something else?"

Olivia looked back at him and turned to face him again. "What? No."

"Olivia. Just listen to me." Elliot saw her watching him, a pensive look on her face. "I've been thinking about it this week. I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time. You're happy."

"Of course I'm happy. We're on vacation."

"Yeah, I know. But you don't want to go back. Maybe that's telling you something."

"I'm not questioning my job El." Olivia said, a little anger in her voice. "I'm just saying that I don't want our partnership to end."

Elliot pushed himself off the railing and turned more fully towards her. "I know." He said, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders. "I don't want to see it end either. But you know that's not an option." He furrowed his brow. "Unless…"

Olivia shook her head. She knew what Elliot was thinking. "El, I'm not saying that." She cupped his face with her left hand briefly before she let it drop again. "I'm not giving you up." She gave him a small smile, but then let it drop. "But one of us is going to have to leave."

"That's what I'm saying Liv. Maybe it's time for both of us to leave." He leaned down and looked into her eyes. "I feel like maybe it's time. Every victim…I feel like they take a little piece of you."

"They don't. Getting justice for them is what keeps me going." She pressed her lips together. "I'm not done…I have to…there's more to do." Olivia said.

"You can't stop them all Olivia." Elliot said quietly. He knew that a lot of what she did was driven by what happened to her mother. "Your mother would be proud of what you've accomplished Liv. And she would want you to be happy."

"You're the one saying I'm not happy." There was an edge in her voice.

Elliot put his hands up, as if in surrender. "OK. I'm just asking you to think about it. There are other ways you can make an impact." He saw Olivia had her jaw set, and he knew it wasn't the time to push it. He wanted to enjoy their last day here…they would have to deal with the reality of their situation soon enough. "Just tell me you'll think about it."

Olivia understood what he was asking her, but she had never seriously considered leaving SVU. She didn't answer his question. "The fact that you're bringing this up makes me think you've thought about it."

Elliot scrubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah."

"Before…this?" Olivia waved her hand between the two of them.

Elliot nodded his head. "Yeah." He admitted. "A few times." He saw the look on her face and he felt bad about his admission. "But not seriously. Just some of the cases…" He let out a huff. "They hit hard. Ya' know?"

Olivia turned back to the railing and looked down at the beautiful beach. She knew what Elliot was saying. All the cases were hard, and each one left their mark on them. She had moments where she questioned the futility of it all, but never wavered in her faith in what they were doing. It didn't bother her that Elliot had thought about leaving. What bothered her was that maybe the only reason he hadn't left was because of her. She didn't want to be the cause of his misery.

Elliot knew what she was thinking. He moved closer to her, and put his hand on her lower back, rubbing gently back and forth. "We don't have the decide anything right now." He placed a kiss on shoulder and then moved behind her, placing his right hand on her shoulder and sliding it down her arm. "Let's just enjoy our last day here." He slid his arm around her waist. "OK?"

Olivia sighed. Now that all of this had come up, it was hard not to think about it. They had a lot to talk about.

"Let reality go…just for one more day." He used his left hand to brush her hair back from her face and he placed a kiss on her temple. He felt Olivia relax against him and he smiled.

"OK." She said softly. "We'll deal with reality tomorrow." She turned her head and Elliot captured her lips, kissing her gently. He turned her around so she was facing him and she felt his hands slide up shoulders and neck until he was cupping her cheeks. Her eyes never left his.

"Whatever happens Liv…it's going to be OK. Because we'll be together."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was leaning against the headboard with a tray of food on his lap, picking at his eggs. He glanced over at Olivia, just as she took a bite of bacon. He chuckled. "Did you ever think we'd be these people?"

"What kind of people?" Olivia said, the words mumbled since her mouth was full.

"The kind of people that lounge around all day and eat breakfast in bed."

Olivia swallowed and then laughed lightly. "Well, we _are_ on vacation. It's not like we're going to be doing this every day."

"I wish."

"You'd be bored." Olivia said, taking another bite.

"If I could stay in bed with you all day, every day, believe me…I wouldn't get bored."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "That wasn't what we were talking about." She glanced over at him. "Besides, I couldn't handle that. I haven't had this much sex…" She thought about it for a second. "Ever."

"And the days not over yet." Elliot said, grinning as he took a big bite of eggs.

"It is." Olivia said, shaking her head. "At least when it comes to sex."

Elliot leaned over and kissed her on the temple, slipping his right hand inside her robe and over her breast. "You say that, but you can never resist me." He teased, kissing her again. He started to massage her breast and moved his mouth farther down, when the dishes on his tray starting sliding. He moved quickly to grab the contents of the tray before it spilled.

Olivia laughed. "Smooth."

"Fine. Just wait until we're done with breakfast. We have at least four hours until we have to leave to catch our flight."

"I'm going to catch a coupla more hours on the beach." Olivia said, finishing up her orange juice. She looked over at Elliot and saw the disappointed look on his face. She placed her right hand on his cheek. "El…don't pout. I'm sorry, but I'm just…" She was embarrassed to tell him that she was sore. Elliot had been particularly _enthusiastic_ the night before. She never wanted him to think he had caused her discomfort, and she had been more than a willing participant. But it wasn't just last night. The amount of sex they'd had in the past four days that had finally caught up with her. "I need a break."

Elliot furrowed his brow. "Did I hurt you?" He set his tray on the table next to him and turned back towards her.

"Stop. I'm fine." Olivia said as Elliot twisted in place to face her. "I'm just saying…today I'm going to catch a few more hours of sun, pack up and then we have to go."

"You should have said something." Elliot said.

Olivia plucked a slice of bacon from her plate and shoved it in Elliot's mouth as he started to say something else. "I just did."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had finished packing and she stood out on the balcony, taking the view for the last time. The beach was busier now that it was mid-afternoon, and she stared wistfully at the people lounging near the water. The past four days had gone quickly, and she wished they had been able to take a week. But she knew they had been lucky that Cragen let them take the days he had.

Elliot strolled out onto the balcony and wrapped his arms around her. The light wind was blowing her hair, and he placed a kiss on her bare, sun-kissed shoulder. "You're glowing." He said.

Olivia laughed. "Is that a thing?"

"It is." Elliot said. "All the sun…your skin looks amazing. You're smiling." He slid next to her, his hand resting in the small of her back. He grinned as Olivia looked up at him. "And I love your freckles."

Olivia put a hand up to her face, blushing slightly. "I hate my freckles."

"They're adorable."

"Don't ever call me adorable Stabler." Olivia said, teasing with a stern tone. "If the guys ever hear you say that, I'll lose my reputation as a badass detective."

"I promise." He said, placing a quick kiss on her nose. "Don't want to ruin your rep."

Olivia turned to face him, and slipped her arms around his waist. She tipped her head up slightly to look up at him, and Elliot kissed her. It was sweet and slow, and she realized how much things had changed for them in the past few days. She would give up everything to be with him…whatever the future held, she was ready for it. "I love you Elliot Stabler." She said, when he had released her mouth.

"That's good, because I'm crazy about you." He captured her lips again and kissed her in the warm afternoon sunshine, feeling like the luckiest man alive.

EOEOEOEOEO

They were waiting to board the airplane, and Olivia fished her cellphone out of her bag.

Elliot grabbed it from her hand. "Remember…we're still on vacation until we land in New York."

"Seems to be you used your phone two days ago." Olivia snapped back. She didn't really want to check her messages…she was happy to wait a few more hours to rush back into reality.

"Just to call the kids. I didn't even look at my messages." Elliot said, handing her phone back to her. He watched as she slipped it back into her bag, surprised at her compliance. He was about to say something, when he heard them call for boarding.

It was a relatively peaceful ride home. Everyone on board was returning from vacation, and they were either somber about the return, exhausted from their vacation, or so relaxed they were napping. There were no crying babies or business people pecking away on a computer, and Olivia slept on Elliot's shoulder most of the way back. He woke her gently when they started their descent into the city, and he heard Olivia let out a sigh. He knew how she was feeling…he felt his stress level start to escalate slightly just at the thought of the chaos at JFK and the fight through traffic back into the city.

They found their bags and worked their way out to the taxi line. They had to wait almost 20 minutes, and they were both quiet as the took in the sounds of the city. When they had finally settled into the back of the cab, Olivia pulled her phone out of her bag.

"You're going to be sorry." Elliot teased. "Officially, we're still on vacation. You should wait until tomorrow morning."

"I can't." Olivia said. "Now that we're back, I need to know what's in store for us." She fully expected a call or two from IAB, or from Cragen, even though he knew they were gone until tonight. She powered up her phone, and waited a few seconds as the messages loaded. She checked her phone app first, and saw she had five missed calls and three voicemails. All from yesterday. That was more than she had expected. She opened up the app and saw that to her surprise, three of the calls were from Chloe, and two were from Cragen. She clicked on the message from Cragen first.

" _Olivia, I know you're not in town right now, but I need you to call me as soon as you get this message."_

The second message was pretty much the same.

" _Olivia. I know I already left a message, but I need you to call me before you talk to anyone else."_

Olivia looked at Elliot. "Somethings wrong." She was tempted to call Cragen right away, but she wanted to hear the other messages. She clicked on the first message from Chloe, which had come in between Cragen's.

" _Olivia. It's Chloe. I need you to call me back right away."_

The next message was pretty much the same, so Olivia deleted it. The next message was more frantic. Chloe sounded like she was in a full-blown panic.

" _Olivia! Where the hell are you? Why haven't you called me back? We need you!"_ There was a momentary pause. _"Amy's been arrested. They're charging her with Jason's murder!"_

"What the hell?" Olivia asked in disbelief.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked, seeing the panic in Olivia's face.

Olivia hit the speaker button on her phone, and replayed the message for Elliot. She shook her head the entire time.

"That can't be right. They looked into it, and decided she wasn't involved. She was in Boston." Olivia said.

"They must have found something." Elliot said. "They wouldn't arrest her for no reason."

"God…no. Amy wouldn't…she couldn't. It's not possible." Olivia said, staring at the phone. She looked back at Elliot. "This can't be right."

"It's OK Liv." Elliot said. "We'll figure it out." He tapped the taxi driver's shoulder. "Change in location." He said, and rattled off the number of the 16th precinct.

"No!" Olivia said. "We need to go to the 12th."

"Let's go to the house and talk to Cragen. Then we can decide what to do." Elliot said.

Olivia considered what he said for a moment and then nodded. "OK." She said, her voice a whisper. The vacation…the sun…the sand…was all forgotten. The only thing she could think about was Amy and the trauma she was going through right now. She looked out the window for the rest of the ride. "Welcome back to New York." She whispered.


	33. Chapter 33

"They arrested her in Boston this morning, and brought her back here to the city." Cragen looked down at a scrap of paper on his desk. "She and someone named Derek Waters." He looked back up at Olivia. "Does that name ring a bell?"

Olivia racked her brain, trying to remember if that name had come up in conversation with Amy. "No. I don't think she ever mentioned anyone by that name." She looked over at Elliot, who was leaning with his arms crossed in front of him. "I don't know." She looked back over at Cragen. "I need to talk to Amy. Where is she now?"

"They're still at the Tombs. Arraignment is tomorrow morning."

"I can't believe this. Amy wouldn't do something like this." Olivia stood up. "What evidence did they have to arrest her?"

"They declined to share that information with me. You'll have to talk to Stone and Allen." Cragen picked up a message slip and handed it to Olivia. "In fact, they called. They want to talk to you again."

Elliot dropped his hands and took a step forward. "They're back to thinking we're involved somehow?"

"They don't want to talk to you. Just Olivia." Cragen said, pressing his lips together. "In fact, they're waiting for you now."

"I'm going to see Amy first."

"That's not going to be an option. Stone and Allen are on their way over here now." Cragen said.

"You told them we were here?" Elliot said with an indignant tone. "What the hell?"

"I don't appreciate your attitude Detective." Cragen said, clearly trying to remind Elliot who was in charge. "I didn't have a choice."

Olivia looked at her watch. It was a little before 7. Hopefully they could get this over with, and she could get to Amy by 9. She put a hand on Elliot's arm. "It's fine. I don't have anything more to tell them, so it won't take long. And I want to find out what probable cause they had to arrest Amy. I still can't believe she had anything to do with this."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, there was a knock at the door. Just as they had done previously, Stone and Allen walked in without waiting to be invited.

"Captain." Stone said, nodding his head towards Cragen. Then he turned towards Olivia. "Detective Benson." He ignored Elliot as they all crowded uncomfortably in Cragen's office. "I assume your Captain has filled you in." he continued.

"Amy didn't do this." Olivia said vehemently. "And who is Derek Waters?"

Stone ignored her questions and turned back to the Captain. "You have a place we can talk?"

Cragen motioned to the room next to his office. "Next door."

"Can Elliot come too?" Olivia asked, looking at Stone. "I want him to hear this."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Stone said, looking up at Cragen. "Your call."

"Might as well." Cragen said with a sigh. "Anything Olivia knows, Elliot knows too."

Olivia looked over at Elliot, trying not to respond to the tone in Cragen's voice. And the insinuation. They had this situation with Amy, but this was a reminder that other changes were coming.

"Fine." Stone said. He headed for the door, with Allen falling in behind. Olivia and Elliot followed them out and into the room next door.

They all got settled: Olivia and Elliot on one side of the table and Stone and Allen on the other. Cragen followed them in and stood with his back to the door.

Surprisingly, Allen started the conversation. "We arrested Derek Waters and Amy Maddox this morning." He began.

"There is no…" Olivia started, but Allen held up a hand.

"It appears Amy Maddox conspired with Derek Waters."

"She hired him to kill Logan?" Elliot asked.

"No." Olivia said, shaking her head.

"Waters was supposed to rough him up a little. Scare him. He tracked him down, lured him into an alley, and assaulted him."

"That's a long way from murder." Olivia objected.

"It got out of hand. Logan fought back. According to Waters, Logan had him down on the ground and was punching him…Waters said he needed to defend himself. Picked up a large rock and hit him on the head, but it didn't stop him. Waters hit him again…and Logan fell. Waters ran." Allen said.

"And left him there." Elliot finished in disbelief.

"Logan had a traumatic head wound. Bled out in the alley." Stone finished the story.

"And Waters was arrested for involuntary manslaughter."

"Yes." Stone confirmed.

"But Amy didn't touch him." Olivia said, hoping to intervene on her friend's behalf.

"You know better Detective." Stone admonished. "She's the one that put this in motion."

"But it as involuntary manslaughter. He didn't go there to kill him." Olivia argued. "She just wanted to scare him."

Stone scowled at her. "Waters wouldn't have acted if it hadn't been for Amy Maddox."

"She must have felt threatened. She wouldn't just have someone try to scare him for no reason."

Stone and Allen looked up each other, and then back at Elliot and Olivia. "We have no proof that Logan violated the terms of his release by being in touch with the victim."

"You have no proof." Olivia repeated. "Which means she told you that he did, and you don't believe her."

"If I got arrested, I would say anything." Allen said. "And he can't corroborate her story. Did she say anything to you about seeing Logan?"

Olivia wished she had…she wished she had picked up the phone and checked on her friend more often. She had been too wrapped up with Elliot. "No. But did you check with her friend Chloe? Or Jamie?" She looked between the two of them. "Or any of her other friends?"

"The only information we got is that she was afraid he was going to come after her again. No proof that he did anything…or that he came anywhere close to her."

Stone leaned in. "Are you sure you don't know anything about this plan of hers Detective Benson?"

"I swear…I don't know anything about this. I wish I had been there. I wish she would have spoken to me. Maybe this could have been avoided." Olivia's voice was small, almost a whisper.

Elliot knew she was beating herself up and he wished there was something he could do to convince her that this wasn't her fault. "Can we go?" he asked, wanting to get her out of here. He knew she wanted to see Amy.

Allen and Stone looked at each other and then Stone nodded. "Yes. But I assume you don't have any more… _vacations_ …planned."

Olivia bit down on her lip to keep herself from making a smart comment.

"No, we'll be in town." Elliot confirmed.

EOEOEOEOEO

They were at the Manhattan Detention Complex, known as the Tombs, less than thirty minutes later. Olivia appreciated the fact that Elliot came with her, but she had let him know that she wanted to talk to Amy alone. Thankfully, he understood, and told her he would wait for her. Now she was sitting in a small, concrete room, waiting for Amy.

She was getting impatient as she sat in the drab, windowless room, and she shuddered at the thought of Amy in a cell. She was most likely locked up with the prostitutes and crack addicts…she didn't belong there. Ten more minutes passed before the guard opened the door and pushed Amy into the room.

Olivia saw relief wash over Amy.

"Olivia." She cried, and rushed towards Olivia with open arms.

Olivia caught Amy as she collapsed in her arms, and she could hear her break down, sobs wracking her small frame. Olivia hugged her close and let her cry, knowing Amy had to get it all out. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. That I wasn't there for you." She whispered as Amy's sobs turned diminished.

Amy pulled herself out of Olivia's arms and dropped into the chair next to her. Olivia sat down across from her, and saw the stricken look on her friend's face.

"Amy…tell me what happened." Olivia said quietly, silently hoping that somehow, Amy wasn't involved.

Amy just stared at her…her face devoid of expression and her eyes red from crying.

When Amy didn't answer, she forged ahead. "Who is Derek Waters?" Fin had pulled up information on Waters for her, and she knew he had a rap sheet. Some minor drug charges…public nuisance…battery.

"Derek?" Amy repeated.

Olivia could tell Amy wasn't thinking clearly…she seemed a million miles away.

"Amy." She said, placing her hand on Amy's arm. "How do you know Derek Waters?"

Amy focused her attention back on Olivia. "He's a friend of my brothers. Maybe not a friend…but…someone he knows."

Olivia sighed. Amy's brother had been in and out of trouble for years, so it didn't surprise her. She should have thought of that, but frankly, she had forgotten all about him. "But why go after Jason?"

"They called me and told me he was out. I thought it would be OK, but…he was watching me."

"You saw him?" Olivia asked, remembering what Stone and Allen had said.

Amy nodded. "The next day. He was there when I came out of work. He was standing across the street."

"Did you report it?"

Amy ignored her question, seemingly lost in her memories. "I saw him two more times…once outside my apartment and once outside the gym. He was following me." She looked back at Olivia and leaned forward. She whispered. "I just wanted to scare him." She looked away again. "I thought if Derek talked to him...maybe roughed him up a little." Amy dropped her face in her hands and started crying again.

Olivia felt helpless as she watched her friend. She had admitted her role in this. She was responsible for the outcome and there was nothing Olivia could do to help her. But she understood what had driven her to it, and it tore at her heart. Just like so many other victims…but more so, because this was personal. She understood the feeling of helplessness that Amy had felt. Sometimes it seemed the criminals had more rights than the victims.

Amy lifted her head and swiped at her tear-stained cheeks. "I didn't ask for any of this." she sobbed out. "But he was _never_ going to stop." Another sob escaped. "I wanted my _life_ back."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was quiet on the ride back to her apartment, and Elliot could tell she was trying hard not to cry. He didn't push her, hoping she would talk to him when they got home. He glanced over her and saw she was looking out the side window, with her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

Olivia walked quietly up to the apartment. She appreciated that Elliot hadn't asked about her conversation with Amy. She felt so useless…she felt like she had failed her friend…and she didn't know if she could make Elliot understand. He would just tell her that there was nothing she could have done, but she didn't believe that, and that wasn't what she wanted to hear right now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted him to be here right now.

Elliot hustled ahead of her and quickly unlocked the door before she could even look for her apartment key. He opened the door to let her pass, but he saw her hesitate as she crossed the threshold. Olivia turned to face him, leaving him standing in the hallway.

"El…" she started. "I don't…" She had been looking at the floor, but lifted her eyes slowly until she met his. "I kind of want to be alone." Elliot's eyes narrowed, and she knew he didn't understand.

Elliot knew she was used to dealing with things like this on her own. Sometimes, they all went out for a drink and tried to forget. But when they had a really tough case, or one that hit too close to home, she always retreated. She wasn't used to having someone to lean on. Someone to talk to.

Elliot leaned his arms on the doorframe. "I'm here for you." He thought she should know that by now but he wanted to be clear that she could rely on him. "You don't have to sit here by yourself."

Olivia shook her head slightly. "We've been together for the past five days." Really, they hadn't been apart much for the past six weeks. "I just need some time to myself."

"Liv, don't shut me out."

"How is telling you I need some time alone shutting you out?"

"You only want time alone so you can sit here and beat yourself up." He leaned in slightly. "This isn't your fault."

Olivia rolled her eyes. That was exactly what she expected him to say. "No? Well, maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own life, I would have been talking to Amy. I would have been making sure she was OK. She would have told me what was going on and I could have been there before her. But now…I wasn't there and she got desperate and she did something stupid. Something that's going to impact her for the rest of her life." She ran her hand over her face and threw her hair. "And all because I was too busy getting laid."

Elliot bristled at her crass description of their relationship, but he bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from reacting. He knew she was hurting and didn't mean it. At least he hoped she didn't. "Just…let me stay. I won't push you to talk."

Olivia was getting frustrated. Elliot had managed to make this into something about them, when all she was asking for was a little space. "Elliot. I'm asking you for some space. Please don't read anything into it." She took a step backwards, and closed the door, leaving him standing in the hallway.


	34. Chapter 34

AN: OK. OK. I know I'm going to get a lot of grief for that last move by Olivia, so I thought I'd better not let it hang there. Here's another (short) update.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot let his hands drop from the doorway as his jaw dropped in surprise. He couldn't believe that Olivia just closed the door in his face. He let out a huff and turned, storming down the hallway. If she wanted to be alone, he would leave her alone. He reached the stairs and started down, taking the stairs tow at a time until he reached the lobby. He was about to push his way out the door when he paused, breathing deeply. He backed away from the door, and stood in place, his mind replaying the day in his head. Replaying the last six weeks in his head.

He knew that she hadn't had any space…any room to breathe. And for Olivia, that was a huge change. But he had been pleasantly surprised when it hadn't seemed to faze her. She had rolled with it, and hadn't seemed to need any time alone. Until now.

He knew that today had been hard. They had woken up in paradise and ended up in hell.

She should know that now, more than ever, she could count on him. Relationships were easy during the good times. It was the hard times that would define them.

He charged back up the stairs, pausing at the top to catch his breath and calm down. He didn't want to barge in there angry. She would kick him out again. No. He had to make her listen to him.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia toed off her shoes and walked towards her bedroom. She felt shitty about closing the door in Elliot's face, but she knew there was no other way to get through to him. He would have pushed and pushed until she relented, and she was serious about needing some time alone.

She had been alone most of her life. When things got tough, she'd had to prop herself up and get through it. She had learned how to work through the pain…to go home and cry and rage and get it out of her system. She could question the futility of her job…the injustice in the world…a higher power that let horrible things happen in the world. And then she would wipe her tears…fasten her badge on her belt and her gun on her hip, and go on to fight another day.

Tonight…tonight was going to be one of those nights. She was going to break down and lose it. And she didn't want Elliot to see her that way.

She unzipped her sundress, barely able to believe that she had woken up this morning in Mexico. She let it fall to the floor, stripped off her underwear and her bra, and considered a shower. It was a place of refuge. She would sit on the shower floor and let the water pour over her and cry until the water ran cold. And even then, she'd stay, until she was shivering and couldn't shed another tear.

One of her oldest friends was sitting in jail. And there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

There would be no crying tonight. She was angry. She needed a drink.

Olivia dug out a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top and pulled them on. She walked out to the kitchen, and dug in the cupboard until she found a bottle of whiskey tucked behind some unused spices and canned goods. She cracked it open, wondering absentmindedly why she even had this bottle in the house. She seemed to recall it was a gift from someone, but at this point, she didn't care. She poured a couple of inches of the amber liquid into a short glass. She held the glass to her lips, hesitating for a second before she tilted her head back and drank it down in one shot. The whiskey burned as it went down. She wasn't a heavy drinker…the legacy of her mother always in the back of her mind.

But tonight, she welcomed the burn. She poured another drink and lifted the glass. Olivia was about to drink it when she heard pounding on the door. It startled her so much she almost dropped the glass and she set it down quickly as her heart rate soared.

 _Goddamnit._

She thought Elliot had gotten the message. But really, she shouldn't be surprised. She should have known he wouldn't accept what he perceived as her rejection. The only surprise was that it had taken this long.

Olivia stood in the kitchen and considered ignoring him.

Would he go away, or would he stand there and pound on the door until she answered?

Or would he really risk pissing her off, and use his key?

Olivia waited a second, picturing him outside the door, waging the same debate himself. She picked up the glass and tossed back the whiskey, almost choking as it worked its' way down. Warmth spread through her belly, and she could feel her skin flush.

The banging started again and she let out a low growl. He wasn't going to stop. Olivia strode over to the door and grabbed the handle, pulling the door open so quickly that he almost stumbled.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Elliot beat her to it.

"That was a bullshit move Olivia." Elliot said. He barged into the apartment, taking up the space she had left as an invitation to come in.

"What?" Olivia asked as she slammed the door and whirled to face him.

"I said that was a bullshit move." He stood staring at her with his hands on his hips, waiting for her to argue with him.

Olivia seemed poised to say something, but instead, she turned and walked into the kitchen. He watched, surprised that she didn't fire back, but then he saw the bottle of whiskey. She poured an inch or so of the liquid into the glass on the counter, and turned to face him. She leaned against the counter, and held the glass in her hand, giving him a defiant look.

"I just wanted to be alone Elliot." She snapped back. "It doesn't have to be a big deal."

"You wanted to be alone so you could get drunk?" Elliot pointed to the glass in her hand."

"It doesn't matter what I wanted to do. I just wanted to do it alone."

You slammed the door in my face."

"Because I knew you wouldn't listen to me. You weren't listening to me." Olivia said pointedly.

"I didn't listen to you because I knew that whatever was going to be happening here wasn't going to be good." Elliot said. "I wanted to be here for you. To help you."

"No. You wanted to be here to tell me all of the reasons why I shouldn't feel like shit that one of my friends is sitting in a cell at the Tombs." Olivia shot back. "You want to keep me from feeling bad."

"That's my job. I love you Olivia, and I don't want to watch you tear yourself apart over this."

"That's my point! I feel horrible…and I don't need you telling me that how I feel is wrong!" She took the glass in her hand and tossed it back, setting the glass on the counter. "I don't need you to fix me Elliot."

Elliot was listening…he was trying to hear what she was saying. But he hated to see her suffer. "I hate to see you like this."

"That's why I didn't want you here." She said quietly. The rage was gone and she could feel the effects of the whiskey. The numbness she wanted was finally starting to settle in. "This is the side of me I didn't want you to see." She said as she closed her eyes and gripped the counter to balance herself.

Elliot rushed over and grabbed her arm to catch her before she fell. She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp but he held firm.

"I love you Olivia. Even the parts of you that you hate. But you don't have to go through these things alone. That's part of the deal." He looked down at her, and saw her eyes were still closed. He wondered if she was even listening to him, and he glanced at the bottle of whiskey, wondering how much she'd had to drink. But he felt he need to continue. "I'm sorry if you think I'm always trying to fix things. Fix you. I just…"

Olivia started to cry then, silent tears streaming down her face. "Stop." She whispered, opening her eyes and looking up at him. "I should'na slammed the door." She slurred. She couldn't think clearly… a million emotions were coursing through her. She was mad at Elliot for not barging his way in but she felt comforted by his proximity. It was so confusing. Her eyes opened…she hadn't even realized they were closed again…when she felt Elliot pick her up.

"I hear you Liv." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Just let go. I'm here."

Olivia clutched at his shirt as the tears streamed down her face. She felt Elliot lay her down on the bed and she rolled over on her side. She closed her eyes and sobbed into her pillow. A few seconds later, Elliot was curled around her, and he pulled the blankets up to cover them. He stroked her hair and let her cry, curbing his impulse to tell her everything was going to be OK. He let out a sigh when the sobbing stopped, and she had finally fallen asleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Olivia woke up disoriented, and it took a full minute for her eyes to adjust in the darkness. She felt cold, and realized that, for the first time in a long time, Elliot wasn't wrapped around her while she slept. She reached out, sliding her hand across the sheets, and felt relief when her hand came in contact with Elliot's arm.

"You OK?" Elliot whispered, and Olivia wondered if she had woken him, or if he had been lying there awake.

"Yeah." Olivia said, despite the fact that she could feel a headache building in her temples, her stomach was roiling, and she was incredibly thirsty. She wondered if that's what woke her. "What time is it?" She felt Elliot shift as he rolled over slightly to look at the clock.

"3"

Olivia let out a sigh and rested her hand on her stomach, trying to quell the nausea. She supposed she deserved it. She hadn't eaten anything and had downed all that whiskey. A stupid move that only added to her misery now. She knew that alcohol wouldn't solve her problem, but at the time, it had seemed like a good escape.

Olivia felt the bed shift again, and could see Elliot's shape in the dark as he rolled on his side to face her. She wondered about the fact that he had slept on the opposite side of the bed…because she remembered him curled around her when he carried her to bed. Maybe he was giving her the space she asked for.

The events of the evening were replaying in her mind, including the moments in the kitchen. Even though Elliot thought she hadn't been listening, she had heard every word. And she thought that maybe he had really heard what she was saying.

Elliot's hand touched hers as it lay by her side, and he covered it with his own. "I'm sorry about Amy." He said quietly.

Olivia waited to see if he was going to say anything else, but he was silent. "I just wish…" She paused while her stomach rolled again. "I know victims. I know what they're going through and I should have followed up with her. She must have felt so desperate…" Olivia felt tears well up again. "I called her and she said she was fine, and I should have known better. But I wanted her to be OK. I was wrapped up in my own life." She thought about what she had said to Elliot. "What I said last night…I shouldn't have said that."

"I know you didn't mean it." Elliot reassured her.

"I didn't." Olivia confirmed. "I don't know why I said that."

"You were upset." Elliot squeezed her hand. He had been hurt by what she said, but now was not the time to focus on it. "I just need you to understand that I'm here for you…the good and the bad. The fact that you felt like you couldn't talk to me, or let me see you breakdown…"

"El, your rage is always public. You beat on walls…pound lockers…rant about the injustice of everything. That's not me."

"I'm not asking you to breakdown in public. I'm asking you to let me in…to share all of yourself with me. To trust me." He tangled his fingers with hers. "Do you think you're going to scare me away?"

"I just…I don't know how…I'm just used to dealing with things on my own."

Elliot felt a stab of guilt then, thinking about all the nights he went home to his family and she went home alone. "I know, and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I never asked you…"

Elliot cut her off. "Let's just…I'm here now." He shifted a little closer to her. "Just let me be here with you. I promise just to listen."

Olivia pushed out a breath threw her lips, trying to calm down all the emotions brimming at the surface. She felt Elliot disentangle his hand from hers, and he cupped her right cheek. Then she felt his lips on her forehead, and tears started to escape her lower lashes as she felt the comfort and love in that one kiss.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" Elliot whispered against her skin.

"I feel sick." Olivia admitted, clutching at her stomach again. She waited for Elliot to make some comment about the whiskey, but he didn't. She thought then about how things had shifted between them, because he would have called her on that before.

Before. When they were partners.

She felt her stomach flip violently, and she bolted from the bed and ran for the bathroom. Elliot was there thirty seconds later, holding back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When she was done, he handed her a towel and helped her up.

"Can you walk back to bed?"

Olivia nodded and started back towards the bedroom. Elliot never let go of her arm, and he gave her space as he climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets over her.

"Get some rest." He whispered, settling in against the pillows next to her.

"El?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for…"

"Shhh." Elliot whispered. "Go to sleep."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

Olivia reached out and found his hand. She tugged him towards her.

Elliot heard what she wasn't saying…that she didn't want to do this alone anymore. He scooted over and lifted his arm, making room for her. He felt her melt into him, and he wrapped his arm around her. He ran his hand along her skin, trying to soothe her until he felt her relax against him in sleep. He knew the next few days were going to be tough. They had to make it through Amy's arraignment and whatever came out of that…and they had to deal with whatever the department had in store for them. It was going to be rough on Olivia. And on him. He didn't expect things were going to go smoothly, but he hoped that Olivia understood that she could rely on him. He had faith that they could make it through and come out on the other side…stronger than before.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia sat between Chloe and Elliot during the arraignment, and breathed a sigh of relief when the judge released Amy on her own recognizance. Amy's own knees buckled, and Olivia saw the strain this entire ordeal had had on her. She saw the bailiff take her away, knowing she had to complete some paperwork, and she, Chloe and Elliot stood up and exited the courtroom to wait for her.

Olivia wasn't sure what the next steps are, but she knew she needed to get Amy in to counseling…to try to help her in any way she could.

They waited almost an hour until Amy emerged, and Olivia and Chloe wrapped her in their arms. Elliot hung back as they talked to their friend. They talked for a bit and then Olivia glanced over at Elliot. He walked over and fished the car keys out of his pocket.

"Here. Take the car." He said. He knew they needed time together.

"How are you going to get home?" Olivia asked.

"Don't worry about it." He said. He was planning on going out to Queens to visit his kids. With everything that had been going on and their mini-vacation, he hadn't seen them in weeks. Hopefully Cragen would let him use a sedan.

"I'll see you later." Olivia said, and Elliot heard a question in her comment.

He nodded and watched as they walked away, sandwiching Amy between them. He let out a sigh, hoping that somehow, this could work out for Amy and she could move forward from this. He didn't condone what she did: he didn't like vigilante justice. But he understood what drove her to it.

He watched them until they disappeared, and then he left and headed to the 16th.

EOEOEOEOEO

"What're you doing here Elliot?" Cragen asked when he knocked on his open door.

"I need to borrow a car." Elliot said, hoping Cragen was in a charitable mood.

"Why don't you have a seat." Cragen said, and the way he said it, Elliot knew it wasn't a suggestion. He was seemingly ignoring his request for the car. He closed the door behind him, and sat down across from his Captain.

"How's Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"About as well as could be expected."

Cragen nodded. "You're helping her through this?"

"I'm trying." Elliot said.

"Don't try Elliot. Do." Cragen said emphatically. "This will tear her apart."

"I know." Elliot waited for Cragen to continue. This was his meeting, and he knew the Captain had more he wanted to say.

"You and Olivia talk about anything important while you were away?"

Elliot shook his head. He knew Cragen was asking if they had many any decisions about their future in the NYPD. "Not really. I guess…I think Olivia's hoping that things can stay the same."

"You know they can't."

Elliot nodded.

"While you were gone…I had a nice chat with the brass and IAB." He paused. "This situation has put them in a tough spot. Your close rate is phenomenal and they don't want to lose either one of you." He paused again. "They asked me how long this has been going on, and I didn't know how to answer that."

"I swear Cap'n. It's just been the last six or seven weeks."

Cragen shook his head. "Let's be honest here. This thing between the two of you…it's been going on for a long time."

Elliot didn't say anything.

"And the thing I can't reconcile is that, despite all that, I'm not sure if that impacted, or how that impacted, your ability to do your job. You two are my best detectives, and sometimes I wonder if this thing you have between you…if that has helped in some weird way." Cragen shook his head. "I know that doesn't make sense…"

Elliot felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe Cragen was going to let them stay partners…

"And if things had stayed the way they were, I think everyone was willing to look the other way."

Elliot's hope faded.

"I'll just cut to the chase." Cragen said, tenting his fingers in front of him on his desk. "You'll both be getting a mark in your jacket plus suspension. I managed to talk them down from 20 days without pay to 10. You've already been out for 7…so 3 more days on your suspension."

Elliot nodded his head. He had expected it. He had expected worse than 20 days, and he was thankful for Cragen's intervention.

Cragen continued. "One of you has to leave SVU." He dropped the bomb and let it sit there for a moment before he continued. "Since you have seniority, typically it would be Olivia. However, the brass wanted you to go for breaking regs. I talked them down, and right now, I'm going to leave it up to the two of you to decide. 1PP has graciously given me 30 days from the end of your suspension to figure it out, find a new spot for the one that's leaving, and transfer someone in."

Elliot swallowed hard, but he didn't say anything. Part of him was glad that he was hearing this without Olivia…that he could be the one to break the news to her.

"So, you have no idea what you're going to do?" Cragen asked. "You had mentioned before that if someone had to leave, it was going to be you."

Elliot shook his head. "Liv won't let me make that choice for us. We have to decide together."

"Honestly…" Cragen said. "I think you both could use a break. You've been in SVU for a long time. More than most. It takes a toll."

"I know." Elliot said. "I've had the same thoughts myself."

Cragen just nodded. "You'll talk to Olivia?"

Elliot nodded.

"OK. Report back in 3 days, and I'll expect an answer then."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot didn't have an opportunity to talk to Olivia until that night. She called to tell him that she was spending the night with Amy at Chloe's, and asked about his visit with the kids. He filled her in his visit, leaving out the frosty reception from Kathy. He filled the discussion with updates on new boyfriend drama from the girls and beach parties and such, hoping she wouldn't ask if he had met with Cragen. But eventually, she asked. He tried to put her off, telling her he'd rather tell her in person and that she should focus on Amy. But she took his stalling tactics as a bad sign, and he knew she was imagining the worst possible scenarios. Although, he wasn't certain if reality would be any different from what she was imagining.

He told her everything that had transpired in Cragen's office and when he was done, she was silent on the other end.

"Liv, you there?"

"Yeah." She said with a heavy sigh.

"It's about what I expected." Elliot said.

"I know." Olivia said, that same sad tone in her voice. "I was just hoping…"

"I know." Elliot. "But the good news is, we get to stay for 30 days." He knew they wouldn't be partnered together, but at least they would still be in the same squad room.

"Yeah, but we owe Cragen an answer on which one of us is going in 3 days." She reminded him. "I don't know if we can even decide in that time. We have to talk, and with me here with Amy..." Her voice trailed off.

"How long are you going to be at Chloe's?" Elliot asked.

"Trial's not going to be for months. I told Amy I'd go back to Boston with her. Help her find a good counselor. Help her get things back on track."

"For how long?" Elliot repeated, feeling like she was avoiding the question.

"I don't know El. I have some more vacation days I can use."

"So, you're going to leave without resolving this?" Elliot asked. He knew helping Amy was a priority, but they had some major decisions to make.

"I won't abandon her again Elliot. Please don't ask me to do that."

"I'm not. I just…Liv. How are we gonna figure this out?"

Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know. I can't think about it right now."

"Avoiding it isn't going to make it go away." Elliot said. He knew he was being an ass, but this was their livelihood…their lives…they were talking about. He softened his tone…he knew this wasn't easy for her either. "I can maybe talk to Cragen about giving us a few more days…"

"Do that El. Please?" Olivia asked. "I just need to be here right now."

Elliot sighed. "Yeah Liv. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you." Olivia said, and he could hear the relief in her voice. "I love you." She said quietly.

"Yeah." Elliot said and hung up the phone. He looked around Olivia's apartment…the apartment he had hoped she'd come home to. But now it seemed empty and he knew he couldn't stay here. He walked around and gathered up some of the things that he had accumulated there and threw them in a duffle bag he found in her closet. He walked out and closed the door behind him and headed back to his own apartment.


	36. Chapter 36

AN: People seem to be losing interest in this story, but that's OK. I've told the story I wanted to tell…at least I will have by the end of this very long chapter! Thank you!

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was out of sorts when he returned to work three days later. He had spoken to Olivia only briefly each of those days, and only because he had initiated contact. The entire time they spoke, he felt like she was distracted, and the entire conversation was focused on Amy and how she was doing. She deferred any conversation on work or the future, claiming it wasn't the time, or she was tired. When he asked when she was coming back, she always said the same thing…in a few days.

He reported to Cragen's office, and was told he would just work alone. Go out as needed, or with Fin or Munch as needed. Elliot had already asked Cragen to give him…them…a few more days to get back to him with their decision, and Cragen seemed to understand that Olivia was distracted. But he warned Elliot that it couldn't drag on forever, or he would make the decision for them.

Word had obviously gotten around the precinct, and he had to endure a number of whispers and stares. He actually appreciated Munch's comments and questions, despite the questionable tact. At least he wasn't talking behind his back. But he also appreciated when Fin told John to shut up…that he didn't want to know those kinds of things about Olivia.

It was the one time in the past several days that Elliot was glad that Olivia wasn't there. He wouldn't want her to have to listen to all this crap. Hopefully it would blow over before she got back.

If she came back.

He had this unsettled feeling. He was trying not to take it personally. Olivia was focused on her friend. Paying penance for what she perceived as a lapse before. But also, genuinely concerned about helping Amy.

So what if she didn't call…if she didn't seem to miss him.

Her focus was on other things and he kept telling himself he shouldn't read anything into it.

But God, he missed her. He couldn't believe how much. It was amazing how quickly he had become used to having her with him 24/7. He had a hard time sleeping without her curled up against him. He woke up several times during the night and wondered if she was lying awake and missing him too.

He shook his head. He sounded like a lovesick teenager. He had work to do and he turned back to the paperwork on his desk.

"I always imagined Olivia taking charge in bed. Does she like to be on top?" Munch mused and Fin yelled at him to shut the fuck up as Elliot whipped his head in John's direction.

"What? Inquiring minds want to know…" John said.

Elliot pushed himself out of his chair forcefully and shot John an icy look. "Shut your fucking mouth John before I shut it for you." He slammed his chair into his desk, his frustration boiling over.

"C'mon Stabler…I've asked Olivia the same questions." John tried to joke. "She just never answers."

"You must have a death wish." Fin said. "I'm done protectin' your ass." He said, shaking his head and walking over to Elliot. "He's just being Munch." Fin said quietly. "Just ignore him."

Elliot looked at him sharply…he and Fin had never gotten along well, but he knew Fin had a soft spot for Olivia. He nodded at Fin as he walked away, trying to ignore what Munch had said. He had to remind himself that what was being said behind his back was probably a million times worth.

What a mess. What a fucking mess.

EOEOEOEOEO

Two more days went by with minimal contact from Olivia, and Elliot hadn't even been able to reach her tonight. He was slouched on the couch with a cold beer in his hand. The Mets game was on the TV, but he was barely paying attention. His emotions were all over the place, and that alone was making him angry. He was trying hard to be understanding, but this continued avoidance of anything but the most mundane, combined with the fact that he was the one initiating all the contact, was really getting on his nerves.

If he saw her right now, he didn't even know how he would respond.

He took another swig of beer and then scratched as the scruff on his face. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days, and he knew he was looking scruffy, but he didn't really care. But Cragen had commented on it today, and he knew he was going to have to clean up his act tomorrow.

He drank the last of his beer, and pushed himself off the couch to get himself another one. He had his head in the fridge when he heard the buzzer go off, and he looked at his watch. This delivery guy was not getting a tip; he was almost 30 minutes late. Typical of how his week was going.

He opened his beer and leaned against the counter, taking a long drink. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Elliot yanked the door open with cash in his hand and a rude remark on his lips, but he stopped cold when he saw Olivia standing on the other side.

"Surprise." She said quietly, a weak smile on her face.

Elliot just stared at her. He could tell she was uneasy…her comment meant to test the waters. He didn't know what to say. There was a part of him that wanted to tell her to go to hell, while the other part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her. Indecision won out, and he dropped his hand from the door and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door open behind him.

Olivia watched him disappear into the apartment, and she hesitated. Even though she had hoped for a warm welcome, she had expected this reaction from him. She deserved it.

Olivia walked into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She toed off her shoes, taking stock of his apartment. She could hear the TV, and from the sound, she knew it was some kind of sporting event. She glanced into the kitchen to her left, and saw an empty beer bottle on the counter. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door behind her, and she jumped and let out a small sound. There wasn't any movement from the other room, so she opened it and saw a young teen with bags in his hand from their favorite Chinese restaurant. Olivia fished in her pocket for some cash, and paid him, taking the bags before she closed the door.

Elliot still hadn't come to the door, so she carried the food into the kitchen. She opened a few drawers before she found the silverware, and she grabbed a fork. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, trying to calm her nerves and the rapid beating of her heart. She picked up the food and walked into the living room. She paused when she saw him slouched on the couch, and he didn't look in her direction, even when she put the food down on the coffee table.

Olivia moved over a little, purposefully blocking his view of the TV. "You gonna talk to me?" Elliot leaned to the side, so he could see the game. "I guess that's a no."

For the first time since she entered the apartment, he looked up at her. "Doesn't seem like there's much to talk about." He said. He had tried talking to her every time he called, but she had put him off. And now she wanted to talk?

Olivia bit her lip to keep herself from snapping back at him. "I know I didn't have much time to talk when I was in Boston…"

Elliot snorted and Olivia stopped talking. "That's an understatement. If I wouldn't have called you, I don't think I would have talked to you at all."

"I'm here now."

"Wow, lucky me." Elliot knew he was being an ass, but she had really pissed him off, and he wanted her to know exactly how it felt to get the cold shoulder. She was the one that had preached openness and honesty, but within a day, they had gone from an incredibly romantic getaway where they talked about everything, to sleeping in separate cities with monosyllabic, one-sided conversations.

Olivia sighed. "Do you want me to leave?" There was no way she was leaving without talking to him, but she wanted to see how resistant he was going to be.

Elliot kept his eyes trained on the game. "Do want you want."

Olivia took that as a promising sign, despite the tone of his voice. She walked around the coffee table, and settled on the opposite end of the couch. She focused her attention on the TV, but she watched Elliot with her peripheral vision. She was startled by his appearance. His beard was growing in, or at the very least he hadn't shaved for several days. He looked tired, and she wondered if he had caught a hard case, or if she was the cause of his sleepless nights.

She had come here to talk to him…to try to make him understand that just because she was focused on Amy, it didn't change how she felt about him. But seeing him, she realized how badly she had treated him. She owed him an apology.

Olivia shifted on the couch, and turned her body so it was facing Elliot. She had to get his attention, and get him to listen. "Your food is getting cold. You gonna eat?"

Elliot looked over her, his eyes lingering on hers for just a moment. "Go ahead if you're hungry."

"El…" She reached out and touched his arm. She was surprised when he flinched, and she pulled her hand back quickly. "Will you just look at me?"

Elliot knew he was being stubborn, but he didn't want to look at her. The smell of her shampoo, the long tresses spilling around her shoulders, and that sad look in her eye were weakening him. And he wanted to stay mad.

"Please." She pleaded. She grabbed the remote off the coffee table and muted the sound. "Please." She repeated.

Elliot let out a sigh and looked over at her.

"I'm sorry." She said. She knew there was more she should say, but she waited to see how he would react to her apology.

Elliot stared at her a moment, and then grabbed the remote and stabbed at the mute button. Sound crashed in to the room and he stared back at the game.

Olivia was starting to get a little mad. He was purposefully being a pain in the ass, but she resolved not to cave to her anger. "Fine." She said loudly. "I'll just talk over the sound." There was still no response from Elliot. No indication that he'd even heard her, even though she knew he had. "I'm not good at this Elliot." She started. "I've never been in a relationship like this. I don't know how to balance things. I'm used to putting all my focus on one, single task. One purpose. Like when we're on a case, we put everything we have into it. We don't sleep for days. And even you…you don't go home. You rarely called your wife and kids. But it didn't mean you didn't love them. Or miss them." She watched Elliot's face. She could tell he was listening. He was still staring straight ahead, but he wasn't focused on the game. "That's how this was for me. I felt like I failed Amy. And in many ways, I did. I needed to focus on her needs. On helping her through this. Of all people, I thought _you_ would understand."

Olivia noticed his shoulders slump slightly, as if whatever was winding him up had loosened, just a tiny bit. She kept going. "I'm sorry that you felt like I abandoned you. I'm sorry if you felt like what was going on in our lives wasn't important. It was. It _is_. It just wasn't _as_ important to me at the time." Olivia let out a huge sigh. "Maybe there was a part of me that was just avoiding it too." She admitted. "But I should have reached out to you. I should have let you know that I was thinking about you. That I missed you." She saw Elliot glance over at her and then look away again. "I was always coming back." She said, putting a voice to his biggest fear.

Elliot was listening to what she said, and he realized that a lot of what she said rang true. When they were on a case, they were single-minded in their focus…their drive to solve the case. His marriage had suffered because of it. Maybe that's why her leaving had hit him hard. "I was scared that you wouldn't."

Olivia felt a small measure of relief at his response. It was a start. "I told you that I wasn't going to push you away El. After all that's happened in the past two months, how could you think that I would leave you?"

Elliot didn't have an answer for her. "If I had done the same thing to you, how do you think you would have felt?"

"I would have understood. Or at least tried to."

Elliot turned to face her now. "Olivia…our partnership…our future…it was all up in the air and you just left. Like it didn't matter."

"El…"

"No. I don't want to hear your excuses." He scrubbed a hand over his face. He picked up the remote and hit mute again and silence filled the room. "I understand helping Amy. I really do. But you could have postponed a day or two while we figured things out. Or come home earlier after a couple of days. Or at the very least, you could have talked to me about it on the phone!" He was getting riled up again. "But you just kept pushing me away. You almost made me feel guilty and overbearing for even contacting you, when all I was trying to do is figure this mess out and check in on you. See you how you were doing." He was on a rant now. "I wasn't demanding you come back. I wasn't demanding you choose between the two of us. I just wanted ten minutes of your time to discuss some decisions that are going to impact us for the rest of our lives!"

"I know. I already told you that I'm sorry. That I know I could have handled it better, but I'm learning how to navigate all of this. I haven't been married for 20 years…I don't know how to juggle all of this."

"You just didn't want to deal with it." Elliot said coldly. "I think you wanted everything to just go back to the way it was, so you avoided it."

"That's not true." Olivia said. "I know things can't go back to the way they were…that we can't be partners. I don't want them to."

Elliot looked up at her, and stared into her eyes, trying to gauge her sincerity. But his vision was blurred by anger, and he didn't know what he saw in front of him. "I'm leaving SVU. Transferring out next week."

"W…w…what?" Olivia stuttered.

"I couldn't wait around to make a decision. Cragen wanted an answer."

Olivia was stunned. She wanted to ask him why he hadn't waited to discuss it with her, but she knew she couldn't. He had tried to talk to her. "Where are you going?"

"Flushing."

"To the Police Academy?"

Elliot nodded. "Training officer."

"Oh." Olivia said quietly, settling back against the cushions of the couch. Her mind was racing, a dozen emotions racing through her body. "But I…I thought…" She didn't honestly know what she thought. "Congratulations." She said. She felt tears pricing at the back of her eyes. This really was the end of their partnership. She had known it was coming, but the stark reality of it hit her hard. She gritted her teeth and swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay.

Elliot watched the emotions play over her features but he fought his urge to grab hold of her and tell her it was going to be OK. "What about you? You going back to work soon?"

Olivia swallowed again. She knew he was asking if she was here to stay. She nodded. "Yes. Amy's feeling better about things. At least, as well as can be expected. She's seeing a good therapist. Her lawyer thinks she may get off lightly due to the circumstances, but nothings for sure…"

"Good." Elliot said, and he meant it. He would hate to see things spiral more out of control for Amy.

There was an awkward silence that filled the room, and neither one looked at the other. Olivia finally summoned up the courage to speak. "So, where does that leave us?" she said, her voice quiet.

"I'm not sure what you mean." Elliot said.

"Are we still…I mean…do you…" Olivia couldn't finish her thought.

Elliot furrowed his brow and turned to face her again. "Christ Olivia. You honestly think that because I'm angry with you that I'm ready to throw all of this away? That I don't love you anymore?" He shook his head. "If that's the case, then you haven't heard a goddamned word I've said in the last two months." He knew he was yelling, but he couldn't help himself. He pushed himself up off the couch and paced over towards the window. He turned and look back at her. "I just left SVU for you. Do you think I'd leave my job if I had any intention of breaking things off with you?" He stood and stared at her, but Olivia was speechless. He could tell she was trying hard not to cry and it tore at him. Her usual defensive gesture, when she thought things were getting too emotional, was to shut down…run away…or get angry like he did. It made him realize how much they had both changed. He softened his voice. "God, I love you Olivia. Nothing's going to change that."

"I'm sorry." She whispered again. She didn't know what else to say. There was nothing she could tell him that could change how she had handled things.

"Do _you_ love me?" Elliot asked, crossing his arms over his chest and assuming that imposing stance he did so often.

"What?" Olivia looked puzzled. "Of course I do. You know I do."

Elliot nodded, like he had come to some kind of understanding. He dropped his arms and walked back to the couch. "Good." He said.

"So…" Olivia was puzzled. His demeanor had changed a bit, but he still looked slightly pissed off.

"So, I'm going to mad for a little bit longer, but I'll get over it, and we'll move forward." He said, reclaiming his spot on the couch.

"You're still angry."

Elliot shot her a look. "Yeah Liv…I mean, I know you're sorry. But it still happened and it still hurt and it's going to take me a bit to get over it."

Olivia was used to Elliot's rages. They built up quickly and had a life unto themselves sometimes, but once he had expended his anger, they died down pretty quickly. She hoped that the yelling…getting all his anger and frustration out…meant that they could talk more later tonight. They had a lot to discuss. Elliot was moving on…leaving SVU…and she had a million questions. She also had to decide what she was going to do, if anything. She felt a fresh wave of guilt at having put him off during those evening calls.

Olivia watched as Elliot picked up the remote and she glanced at the TV, seeing the game had just finished.

"Goddamnit." Elliot said. "The Mets lost." He tossed the remote down on the coffee table with a grunt, staring at it.

"Do you want me to leave?" Olivia asked, hoping the answer was the same as last time.

Elliot looked over at her. "Yes and no."

Olivia relaxed a little more. He had told her he was still mad, but he wasn't kicking her out. "Then I'll stay."

Elliot didn't say anything. He picked up the remote and started surfing through the channels. They didn't watch much TV, and he grunted his disapproval as he flicked through the stations, trying to find something, anything, to watch.

"I did miss you." Olivia said, happy to see he stopped hitting the remote. "I have slept by myself for most of my life, but it seems like I can't sleep anymore without Elliot Stabler's body wrapped around me."

"You just missed my body heat." Elliot said, staring at the screen.

"Maybe." Olivia said, just lacing her voice with the barest hint of a tease. She wanted to tread carefully. "But I think it was more than that."

"Hmph." Elliot snorted.

Olivia leaned forward just a little. "I missed the gentle way you kiss me on my forehead, just at my hairline, before you settle in next to me. I miss the way you wrap your arm around me and nestle in, your arm up against my chest. It makes me feel protected…safe. I miss the way you whisper that you love me…so softly in my ear that it's almost like a prayer. It makes me feel so blessed…that of all the people in this world, you chose me to love."

Elliot turned to face her and she saw something indescribable in his eyes. "Loving you was never a choice Olivia." And then he was reaching for her. He grabbed her upper arms with his and pulled her towards him, and Olivia was forced to straddle him as he pulled her onto his lap. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck…his mouth mere centimeters from her ear. He trailed his hands up and down her back, pulling her tightly against him, as if she had been gone for ages, or in fear that she would disappear if he didn't tether her to him. "God, I missed you so much." He whispered. "I know it's crazy. It was only a few days. But somehow…I felt like I had lost you. Like maybe you'd figured out that I wasn't good enough for you."

Elliot slid his hands up her arms until he was cupping her face. Olivia wanted to say something, but he was kissing her then. Gentle kisses on each corner of her mouth, until he pressed his mouth against hers and slid one hand to the back of her head. It was slow and sweet and Olivia sighed into his mouth. She rested her hands on his shoulders, and then slid one hand to the back of his neck, tilting her head sideways so she could deepen the kiss. But Elliot tugged lightly at her hair, breaking the kiss. "It's not that easy Olivia." He said.

Olivia looked at him, but she could see a bit of a smile play around his lips. "What?" she said, putting on her best pout.

"I might still be a little angry with you." He said.

Now Olivia could hear the tease in his voice, and she felt more on solid ground. Things were going to be OK. She pushed herself back slightly, and in one quick motion, she whipped her t-shirt over her head. Underneath, she was wearing a fairly sheer white bra, and as expected, she saw Elliot's eyes dip south before his eyes connected with hers again.

"Why don't you take me into your bedroom." She said, her voice low and husky. "And let me make it up to you."

"You think it's that easy?" he said, trailing his large hands down her sides. He splayed his fingers across her ribs, rubbing the soft skin there.

"You said you had some anger to work out… I can think of better ways than hitting the bag at the gym." She ground her hips down against him and was rewarded with a low groan.

"We can't solve all our problems with sex Olivia." Elliot said, trying to be serious. But he was so turned on right now.

"I know that El…" she said, leaning forward and capturing his lips with hers. She pressed her breasts against his chest and he groaned again. "But I'm certainly willing to try."

Elliot caved, like he knew he would. "This isn't over."

"Of course not." Olivia said, a small smile on her lips.

"We can talk later." Elliot said, as he pushed them off the couch.

Olivia let out a small yell as she almost tumbled off his lap. But he had his arm wrapped around her lower back and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Later."

Elliot dumped her on the bed and stared down at her as he whipped his t-shirt over his head and stripped out of his cargo shorts. The man was going commando again, and Olivia's muscles clenched involuntarily when she saw his erection. She knew this wasn't going to be gentle. Elliot wouldn't hurt her, but sometimes, he wasn't able or willing to take things slowly. But tonight, she didn't want that either.

He stared at her darkly, his eyes trailing down her body, and before she could say anything, he had his hands on the button of her jeans and was dragging them down her hips. Her white panties came with it, and he climbed over her body, knocking her legs apart as fit himself between them. He tugged the straps of her bra down her arms, and roughly pulled the material away from one breast. He squeezed her breast in his hand and latched his mouth on her nipple, and he sucked and teased her with his mouth and his tongue until her back was arching off the bed. He slid his hand inside the bra and cupped her other breast roughly and Olivia could feel a flood of moisture between her legs at his rough handling of her.

Elliot's mouth left her breast, and he trailed his tongue up the swell of her breasts and her neck until his mouth met hers. He kissed her hard, opening her mouth with his, and Olivia could feel the burn from his whiskers as he kissed her hungrily. She raked her nails up his back, and he growled. He was relentless against her mouth, and she was finding it hard to catch her breath. She could feel his erection as her entrance and he pushed into her slightly.

Elliot released her mouth as he slid his hand down her side. He was snaking his hand down between their bodies, and she knew he wanted to know if she was ready for him. There wasn't going to be any foreplay tonight. She raked her nails up his back again and he yelled out at the bite of them against his skin. Olivia lifted her head and grasped his bottom lip between hers, biting down lightly, as she dug her heels into his ass.

Elliot took that as an answer. He raked her hair back from her face, tangling his fingers there and holding her head in place. He plunged his tongue into her mouth as he slid his cock inside of her, and she moaned as he filled her.

Elliot released her lips and dropped his forehead against hers. "OK?" He asked through gritted teeth. He could feel her body clenching around him…she was so tight. He should have waited, but the need to be inside of had been unbearable.

"Move." Olivia demanded as she thrust her hips upward.

That was all the encouragement he needed. He pushed himself up on his forearms, staring down at her as he pulled his hips back, almost losing contact with her body. Then he thrust back inside of her, and they both moaned as Olivia lifted her hips to meet him.

Olivia snaked her hands down his body and dug her fingers into his thighs. The muscles were taut as he continued to thrust into her. "Deeper." She said throatily, surprised when Elliot stopped and pulled out of her. He grabbed her left arm and it took Olivia a second to realize he was flipping her over. He had her over on her stomach and he wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her up. Olivia obliged, wiggling her ass in the air as she dropped her head down.

Elliot traced his hands down the ridge of her spine and over her lower back, until he slid his hand down between her legs. She was so wet, and he slipped two fingers inside of her. He pumped his fingers inside of her and then slipped them out and trailed them over her clit. He rubbed his fingers against the hard bud and Olivia's body jolted. He slipped his fingers back inside of her but Olivia let out a sound of protest. She lifted her head and looked back at him. "El…" She let out a strangled sound. "I need you to…" Elliot's fingers slid down over her clit again and she couldn't finish her sentence. Her head dropped between her shoulders again, and then she felt Elliot's erection pressed against her entrance. He slid inside of her slowly, and they both moaned at the sensation. He grabbed her hips and pulled her back against him and Olivia's arms buckled. She pressed her forehead against her folded arms and let out a long, low groan. "Fuck El." She gasped. She could only gasp as he kept moving inside of her. His fingers were digging into her hips and she had no doubt she'd have bruises, but she didn't care. He had every delicious inch of himself buried inside of her, and every stroke was sending waves of pleasure through her body. She felt the heat building as Elliot continued to fuck into her, and she thought there was a real possibility she would pass out when she came.

Elliot couldn't stop moaning as he continued to thrust inside of her. He was in so deep, and she felt amazing. Her walls were clenching around him and he knew she had to be close. His dick was like granite and he wanted to let go, but he tried to maintain control…he needed her to come. He heard a small gasp escape her lips each time his hips connected with her ass, and he could feel her legs start to tremble. He was moving faster now, and his body was slick with sweat from his exertion. "Fuck!" He swore. He was losing his battle. "C'mon Liv." He thrust hard into her one more time and he was lost…he faltered slightly as he came, holding her hips tight against him as he emptied himself inside of her. He grunted a few times as he pushed his hips against her and Olivia let out a small cry as her orgasm ripped through her.

The room was filled with their moans as Olivia's body bucked beneath him, but Elliot held her tightly against him, giving her no relief from the waves coursing through her body. Seconds later, she fell forward on the bed and he collapsed on top of her, still intimately connected. He tried to pull himself up but his strength was sapped, and it was all he could do to slip out of her and fall slightly to the side.

"Christ." He choked out as he collapsed on the bed next to her. His hand fell on the small of her back as Olivia collapsed on her stomach, and he could feel the heat of her skin. He slid his hand up her back and he could feel her heart beating wildly. It matched his own. Olivia shuddered as he ran his hand back over her skin.

Elliot rolled over on his side. "Hey."

Olivia lifted her head to look at him, and then lay it back down on her arms. She stared into his eyes, and gave him a lazy smile. "Hey."

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have been so rough with you." They'd had their share of uninhibited sex…times when things were raw…animalistic. But he felt like in those moments, it had been mutual. Tonight, he had taken what he wanted, and he felt like he had crossed a line somehow.

"I'm not complaining." Olivia said, closing her eyes as Elliot continued to run his hand up and down her back. She was tired…exhausted really…and if he kept that up, she was going to be sleeping in the next minute. "Mmmmm." She hummed.

Elliot leaned over and placed a kiss on her temple. "I love you."

Olivia opened one eye and gave him a smile. She rolled over on her side, and then scooted her body over so she was closer to Elliot. She curled herself into his body, placing her palm against his chest. She could feel the steady beat of his heart, and she looked up at him and gave him another smile. "I love you too."

Olivia rolled over on her back. She ran her hand down his arm, and tangled his fingers with hers. She pressed their clasped hands to her chest and looked up at him. "I really did miss you." She said. She hesitated a moment. "And I'm going to miss having you by my side every day, no matter what I decide to do." She smiled as she squeezed his hand. "But this is…this is everything I wanted."

Elliot stared down at her. "I'm happy Liv. Really happy." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and pulled back. "Marry me." He wasn't even sure where the words had come from…it had popped in his head and he had blurted it out.

Olivia's smile spread slowly. She could see the surprise on Elliot's face, and the intensity in his eyes. She knew he meant what he said when he loved her, but she could also knew what had driven the impromptu proposal. "This is how you're going to ask me? Lying naked, in bed? I mean, the sex was good but…" she teased, but Elliot's gaze never wavered.

"I didn't mean to ask you like that, but it doesn't mean I didn't mean it."

Olivia lifted her hand to his face and cupped his cheek. "I know." She said softly. But…El…I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to worry."

Elliot looked away and tried to pull his hand from hers. But Olivia held on tightly. "Don't." He stopped fighting her and let her pull his hand back with hers. "Elliot, look at me."

Elliot turned back to face her and she continued, her voice soft and calm. "We have a lot going on…so many changes. Can we just…we need to get through that. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Elliot nodded. He hadn't meant to blurt out an awkward proposal. When he thought about asking Olivia to marry him, he had envisioned a much more romantic gesture. But as usual, she knew exactly what he had been thinking. Or knew better than he did. He wanted to bind her to him…to add some assurance that she wouldn't disappear.

Olivia trailed her fingers down his jaw again, rubbing them against his stubble. "I'm not going anywhere." She repeated. "And I don't need a ring on my finger to know where I belong." She lifted her head and pressed her lips to his.

Elliot pulled his hand from hers and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know…but I want that. To marry you…have a family."

Olivia felt tears pricking the back of her eyes. His words stuck a chord with her. It was everything she wanted…everything she thought she'd never have. This man…he was offering it all to her.

"You want those things still?"

Olivia smiled. "I do."

"Then the next time I ask you to marry me." He placed gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "Say yes."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot walked in the door of the apartment, with an apology on his lips for being late, but he stopped short when he saw the room aglow with candlelight. "Liv?"

Olivia came out of the kitchen, and he smiled when he saw her. She was wearing dark gray slacks and a heavy white sweater. Her hair was in loose waves, and her lips were glossed in some kind of rosy shade.

"You look beautiful." He said as she pushed herself up on her toes and gave him a kiss.

"Thank you."

Elliot dropped his bag on the floor as Olivia took his hand and led him into the living room. He saw a small table set for dinner, with candles glowing at the center.

"Happy 6-month anniversary." She said. "I made dinner." She turned to face him, and saw him looking a little bewildered.

"Did I forget? I mean…our six-month anniversary…" He tried to think back, not sure what event they were marking. "We're celebrating the day we first had sex or…" His voice trailed off in a question.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "It's been about six months since we started…since you kissed me…or we…" She let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't know El. Since we crossed the boundaries we had drawn and admitted how we felt…what we were to each other."

"That was six months ago today?"

"I don't know if it's the exact day." She let out a sigh. "I just wanted to celebrate. We've been through a lot in the last six months and I just feel like…we've made it through everything and we're still here and…"

Elliot closed the gap and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently. "Happy Anniversary Olivia."

He released her then, and smiled. "Smells good!"

"Have a seat, pour the wine, and I'll be right back."

Olivia disappeared into the kitchen, and Elliot did as instructed. She was back a few minutes later, with two plate in her hand, and she set them down on the table. Elliot leaned over and inhaled.

"Smells wonderful." That earned him a smile and he dug in.

"How was work today?" He asked as they ate. "How's the kid?"

Olivia rolled her eyes again. Cragen had assigned a new partner to her four months ago; a nice young Hispanic guy named Danny Trejo. Elliot pretended to dislike the kid, due to the fact that he was young, male and good-looking. And because he didn't feel comfortable that Trejo had her back. He was always poking jabs at Danny, and Olivia liked to tease him. "I think he's falling in love with me."

"Of course he is." Elliot said drily. "Do I need to come down to the precinct again and have a little talk with him?"

Olivia laughed. "No, I think I'll string him along, and then break his heart." She teased. She reached across to grab a piece of bread, and Elliot captured her hand. The candlelight glinted against the diamond on her hand, and he turned her hand back and forth to catch the light.

"Let's just remember whose ring you're wearing."

Olivia gave him a small smile.

"Any more thoughts on setting a date?" he asked. "It would be nice to get married before the baby comes."

Olivia shook her head. "At the rate things are going, that isn't going to be a problem." They had decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant a couple of months ago, but so far, it hadn't happened.

"It'll happen Liv. I've got good swimmers."

"I'm eating dinner." Olivia said with a laugh. "Could we not discuss your sperm?" Secretly, she was worried that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant, and despite Elliot's assurances that they would do what they had to do to make it happen, it still weighed on her a little.

"Just saying." Elliot said with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's gonna happen. Soon." He and Olivia had been engaged for almost three months, and it bothered him a little that she didn't want to set a date. But he was willing to wait. They were happy…content. Things were going well with his new job, and even though he hadn't been sure of Olivia's decision to stay in SVU, it was working out. His kids were coming around, and even Kathy had accepted their relationship. Probably because she was dating the kid's dentist. He had never liked that guy….

"Are you listening to me?" Olivia asked.

"What? Yeah." He said, giving her a small smile.

Olivia shook her head. "No, you weren't. I said that Amy's sentencing hearing was late this morning."

"What?" Elliot said. "I didn't realize. I should have asked." Olivia had been by Amy's side during her trial, and he kicked himself for not remembering that sentencing was today. "And?"

"Due to the circumstances…they gave her three years probation."

Elliot was shocked. "No jail time?"

Olivia shook her head. "No."

"Well…I'm shocked. That's great!" he said.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah."

"You seem bothered by it." Elliot said.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I just wonder how I feel about it if Amy wasn't a friend of mine. We don't condone people taking the law into their own hands. Jason Logan died. He was a creep…a stalker…an undesirable. But he still didn't deserve to die."

"Amy wasn't the one that killed him."

"I know. He got time for manslaughter." She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. "I'm happy she's not going to jail. It's just hard to reconcile…we don't think we give preferential treatment to family and friends, but we do. I know Amy…that in her heart, she's a good person. Maybe some of the other people we convict are good people too."

Elliot reached out and took her hand. "Olivia, we do our job, and then we let the judicial system sort it out. It's not you or me deciding who goes to jail and how doesn't."

"You're right." Olivia said. "I'm just relieved it's over."

"Me too." He lifted his wine glass, and motioned for her to lift hers.

Olivia smiled and lifted her glass. "What are we toasting?"

"To life, love…" He clinked his glass against hers. "And to happily ever after."

The End.

AN: Thanks to everyone that read this story (and all my stories). I really appreciate it. I always try to be true to their characters, but I appreciate you giving me a little license there as I write. I'll always believe in EO, and if this is the only way I can make them do what we want, then so be it!


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